Behind The Door In Our Dreams

 

 

 

 

"It seems whatever the door, whatever our fear - be it love or truth or even the prospect of death - we all have this choice, again and again:  avoiding that part of our house, or opening the door and finding out more about ourselves by waiting until what is dark becomes seeable."

 

Mark Nepo

THE BOOK OF AWAKENING

 

 

When working with dreams, a home is symbolic for our mental state of being.  First, we detect if we are in our own home or someone else's house.  Then we locate where we are in our home ... the basement (old baggage), the kitchen (nourishment), living room (social), bedroom (intimacy), or upstairs (spiritual). 

 

If we are in someone else's house, we can determine what the person who owns the home means to us.  What do they symbolize or what quality do you admire or dislike?  Whatever you decide, it has to do with you and not the person.   

 

If you are wandering, exploring unfamiliar houses, this may reflect that you are pondering new ideas.  If you notice you are in a foreign country, it might mean the content under consideration is foreign to you ... not wrong, but unknowing. 

 

So all homes have doors (if they don't that would pretty much indicate rigidity or a lock down of feelings and thoughts). There is much to be noticed about the door.  Is it locked or hidden?  Does it have windows in it to see through?  Do you have the sense that you are trying to tug the door open or keep the door shut?  Notice which room you are in and then apply this insight into what you might be hiding or seeking.  Is the door damaged by someone else or sealed closed?  Do you fear what is on the other side or do you already know, but cannot bring your self to open it.

 

At first sight, a door to opportunity may not look inviting.  All events in our life, however, are always an experience for us to learn.  The action of opening a door, even a crack, can let a little fresh air or light in.  The process can be gradual, but if it is presented, it  is doable. 

 

On the other hand, if you are plainly trying to keep someone out by bolting the door in your dream, this is a message to you that you are not hearing in day time.  You may be suppressing the reality of a situation when you truly need to take action to close the door. 

 

As in all things, the amount of attention we give to something, results in a broader understanding.  What we do not deal with during our waking hours, easily slips into our dream time.  If we ignore our dream time and a situation accelerates, we may end up with a night mare!

Turn The Light On!

 

To be broken

is no reason

to see all things

as broken.

 

Mark Nepo

 

 

 

A few years ago, a friend I admire and respect happened to mention the author Mark Nepo.  I had never heard of him prior to this conversation with Delinda, but her enthusiasm about him triggered my immediate interest.  I now own and covet all of his material. 

 

On the SUPER SOUL SUNDAY Show, Oprah Winfrey interviewed Mark Nepo and will do so again on this coming Sunday.  This interview was very inspiring and I eagerly await this next one on November 17, 2013.

 

There were numerous comments made by Mr. Nepo that really resonated with me as well as the viewing audience I am certain.  He encouraged us to "learn to ask what we need and then accept and practice what is given" even if it is not what we requested.  There is so much that happens in our life and "only the logic of the heart can put it together."  He spoke of the importance of knowing of identifying our needs as the reward becomes the opportunity "to be intimate with our own nature."  When we accept our selves, we "become intimate with the nature of life."  This creates connections that embrace us into the wholeness of life.

 

Mark Nepo explored his own life and how he felt called to be a poet.   He felt that true poems helped him to live.  His heart's desire however turned from being a poet to being a poem.  He encouraged people to stay away from labels and be more interested in the action.  "If you are a singer, sing.  If you are a gardener, then garden.  Follow the aliveness and identity is formed over the years."  He seemed to be saying, don't hide under a label, just be who you are through action."

One of his inspiring messages was:  "Stay close to whatever brings us alive and don't worry about a label.  As spirit grows larger within us, our self-created identity is dropped."   So all of our energy can be focused on what we love to do and do it without fragmenting our energy into areas that will eventually fade anyway.

My favorite book of Mark Nepo is THE BOOK OF AWAKENING which is a daily inspirational writing.  His most recent book is SEVEN THOUSAND WAYS TO LISTEN which is very good as well.  All of his other books and poems create a yearning to turn the light on inside ourselves to discover our amazing self!

 

 

 



Feeding Each Other

"It's how we grow and heal, again and again, by holding and being held.

In my own life, I have been held and dropped, have hurt and soothed others,

enough to accept, at last, that the reasons of the heart are leaves in wind.

Stand up tall and everything will nest in you."

Mark Nepo

THE BOOK OF AWAKENING

We unknowingly bring balance to each other while interact with each other.  On days we are not feeling necessarily kind, someone will display kindness towards us, lifting our personal attitude to a higher level.  We may be in a bad mood but upon running into friends and having heartfelt conversation, we easily forget our troubles and become elevated to a higher place in our thinking.  It happens all of the time.  Seldom are we down in the dumps at the same time our partner or best friend might be.  We take turns holding and being held.  This is why we have arms, to give and to receive. 

There is an old story about a man who had just witnessed a near death experience.  He said his guide asked him if he wanted to see what hell was like, and he agreed.  Together they walked into a great room and the moaning was so atrocious the visitor cupped his hands over his ears to block out the horror of the sound.   He looked around the room which was lined with tables filled with fruits, vegetables, flavorful drinks, and anything and everything the heart could possibly desire.  He forced himself to look at the groaning people, who were emaciated in spite of all of the food.  The visiting man realized the arms of these people were extremely long and stiff, and there was no way they could bend them to feed themselves.  They were definitely in the pain of hell.

His guide next asked if he would like to view heaven, and, yes, of course he would.  Together they stepped into a room filled with people laughing and hugging.  He noticed the room was lined with food exactly like hell's.  The arms of these people in heaven were built exactly like those in hell, having long and unbend able arms.  It did not take him long to realize the difference.  Those enjoying heaven were not able to feed themselves either, but they had learned to joyfully feed each other.

Let us strive to make a nest of our heart, where others are welcomed and are nurtured in their time of need.  We can stand tall as the trees letting others gently float like leaves to receive what we have to share.  And when the wind blows and our branches lean, we too will find a nest where we will be welcomed and fed. 

Deep Breathing in Still Water

God leads me to still waters

that restore my spirit.

Psalm 23 

While in the water, we stand still so the water will remain calm.  In the still waters, we can see the sand beneath our feet more clearly.  The sand has accumulated all of our past hurts, pains, and sorrows.  When we splash around, making waves, we lose sight of what is important.  Our vision blurs and our thoughts become fragmented.

When our feet are grounded into the sand and the water is calm, we can examine what might be bothering us or what action we may need to take.  If we stand still long enough, our understanding of the situation will grow more clear and our direction will become apparent. 

Relationships will cause ripples in our water, as people try to reach out and help.  It is wise to remain standing still until the water once again calms.  By doing so, we will begin to understand our depth, feel the tide tugging at our feet, and watch the water flow. 

Breathing deeply and slowly assists us while trying to be calm when waves appear.  It will give us time to let the waters settle and maintain our line of thinking.  Breathe in imagining the cleansing water washing away the old.  Experience a pause at the end of the inhale, then breathe out all of the stress and anxiety.  Take notice of the depth of the heart and its rejuvenation.  The water and deep breathing will align our body, mind, and soul.

(Writing based on thoughts from Mark Nepo's, THE BOOK OF AWAKENING)

To Look Deeply

To know someone deeply

is like hearing the moon through the ocean ...

Mark Nepo

THE BOOK OF AWAKENING    

Relationships are the teachers of many lessons.  If we do not exchange experiences with others, we curtail our lessons and personal progress.  Friendships can bring heart break and disappointments, but they can also offer a safe haven.  We will never know unless we try.

There is nothing as comforting as looking into the eyes of another and realizing they have had the same experience.  Sometimes friends simply understand us so well that they relate to our struggle even though they have not experienced it themselves.  Our friends really do not have to have the perfect response or the best solution.  Just by being present with us and witnessing our challenge can be all we need at the moment.

We may feel we are the only ones experiencing such a challenge, but in reality, we all have challenges.  They might look differently, but they serve the same purpose.  So those who have gone before us, who have struggled up life's mountain and are successfully standing at the top, can encourage us and cheer us on;  however, we still must carve our own authentic path. 

Being understood  can be the best remedy for any situation.  To look deeply into some one's eyes and find acceptance and compassion can make all of the difference.  Words of encouragement and honest reflection help us to see the depth in other people's eyes.  We will only know this if we dare to open our hearts. 

Some Sort of Symbol

If you truly hold a stone,

you can feel the mountain

it came from.

Mark Nepo

THE BOOK OF AWAKENING

When I was a little girl, I was always collecting stones.  There were never any two alike.  In the summer, I especially liked to hold a stone in my hand and feel the energy stored from the sun.  I   had an old cigar box to keep my treasures safe. 

My cigar box is long gone, but my habit of collecting stones continues.  I have some from Maui, Sedona, Key West, and Boulder Junction.  Some are from farms, fields, oceans, rivers, and neighborhood walks.  The stones are all different shades of color and a variety of shapes. 

My one time favorite I discovered on the ground at a market in a small village in Mexico.  It was shaped exactly like a heart.  There is a huge boulder in Wisconsin that I sat on during the summers.  I would read, watch my children play, and day dream.  When I still had the statue of Hebe in the yard, I would come home and place my new rocks around her feet.   Enjoying a feminine vortex near a river bed, I was overwhelmed to come around a bend and see thousands of rocks piled singularly one upon another, reaching towards the sky.  I was even more surprised years later  to discover the very same scene along the ocean.

I believe stones must be some sort of symbol for me.   Perhaps I feel the energy within them and the shared energy grounds me to this earth.  I associate them with medicine wheels or sweat lodges I have helped to build.  I have used stones to form energy grids or to experience them as a hot rock massage.  I can hold river rocks and hear the water flowing. 

For whatever reason, I respect rocks just as much as flowers or birds.  Before I have ever removed a stone from its nesting place, I always ask permission to carry it away and thank the earth for its gift.  The earth does not belong to us, we belong to it.  And as temporary residents, we need to care for it in a more respectful and honorable way.

Silence Not Allowed

Trust that little voice in your head that says

'Wouldn't it be interesting if ... '

And then do it.

Duane Michals

This season seems to be playing havoc with my sinuses and allergies.  When I don't ward off the headache early on, it tends to slop over into a migraine.  Once the pain gets ahead of me, I can be down for hours.

Louise L. Hay states that headaches occur when "Invalidating the self.  Self-criticism. Fear."  She suggests we use an affirmation such as:  "I love and approve of myself.  I see myself and what I do with eyes of love.  I am safe."  Of migraine headaches she reports, "Dislike of being driven.  Resisting the flow of life.  Sexual fears."  The recommended affirmation: "I relax into the flow of life and let life provide all that I need easily and comfortably.  Life is for me."

Others report migraines stem from repressed anger.  This, of course, is a subject I know only to well.  As a child, I cringed at loud voices, arguments, fighting, and any display of anger.  I vowed to myself I would never be angry.  So as a re-frame, I would say my feelings were hurt rather than embracing the human emotion,  anger.  All I was doing was repressing all of my anger inside of me.  This does damage on several levels ... body, mind, and spirit. 

This last year I spent some time exploring my angry feelings.  I then gave my lovely self permission to use my voice in expressing my anger.  Wow, was I ever surprised.  Instead of experiencing repercussions I discovered a sense of freedom and closure.  The problem was brought out into the open, addressed, and resolved.  It was all a matter of using my voice in an appropriate manner and being willing to listen to the other side.  All those years of repressing my feelings out of fear did more harm than simply voicing my anger.

The voice is an incredible tool and it is amazing when a person is blessed with the gift of song. The voice, however,  needs to be used for expression whether in the written word or outloud.  We should not allow ourselves to be silenced.

In his book, THE BOOK OF AWAKENING, Mark Nepo reflects:  "For even if no one hears us, it is the act of speaking that frees us."  We can express our words through any of the arts (painting, writing, singing, lyrics to music or poems, dance, etc... )  The experience is liberating, so much more fun than suffering a pounding headache.

Listening In Our World

"Each point in the journey is an end to itself.

One is not better than the other.

Only your heart knows what to follow

and where to stop."

Mark Nepo 

SEVEN THOUSAND WAYS TO LISTEN

Mark Nepo is one of my most favorite authors.  In his newest book, SEVEN THOUSAND WAYS TO LISTEN, Mark Nepo is merging the word  listening with the already present word, (if not over used word), awakening.  He appraises listening as being imperative to the awakening process.  If we listen to what surrounds us or whispers within us, we can experience a deeper journey.

We may yawn and think we know all about listening, but do we really?  The art of listening is based on being totally present in stillness with our selves or others.  Too often, we hear the beginning of a conversation, and once we get the drift, our mind turns to other things.  We have used our inner judgment to turn off prematurely, missing an opportunity for newer or deeper understanding.  When we think of our family, friends, and professionals, only a few stand out as really exceptional listeners. 

Mr. Nepo discusses three friendships:  "the work of being, the work of being human, and the work of love."  These three friendships are the foundation for awakening.  To be aligned with our experience of self we must listen.  To resonate with each other, we must listen.  To establish a peaceful community, we must listen.  When we maintain these three friendships, we are more apt to awaken more deeply.  Listening enhances our connection with Divine Spirit.

This author goes on to say we wander off center either withdrawing too much or extending too far.  If we remain flexible, we can adjust our selves in whichever direction is needed, but if we are unaware, we can become withdrawn to fault or overwhelmed by distractions.  When our "balance point" has shifted one way or the other our 'habits must catch up' so we can continue to "assess and reassess". 

Messages come to us when we are still or through others or with life experiences.  If we develop listening skills, we will not only hear these messages more clearly, but we are more apt to relate these messages with others and impact our community as well.  A message is about receiving information and giving it back out into the world. 

We are all personal messengers, giving and receiving hopefully with others, and contributing in a positive way to our community.  When we care enough to listen, we can create more loving relationships in our world.



The Chicken or The Egg

The present was an egg

laid by the past

that had the future

inside its shell.

Zora Neale Hurston

Folklorist

1903 ~ 1960

Many references are made to the caterpillar's transition into a butterfly.  But what of the chicken fighting to crack the egg?  In THE BOOK OF AWAKENING, Mark Nepo says "Every crack is also an opening." Imagine being encased watching the space grow smaller and smaller.  The chicken cracks the shell by its own growth believing the world as it knows it is coming to an end.  All is falling away as the chick wiggles through the cracks.  The chicken does not die.  It begins a new life in a new world. 

In life, we cast off masks, break out of self-imposed shells, and struggle to regain safe footing.  Transitions are never easy, but new beginnings make the process worthwhile.  While growing up, we gather experiences and learn lessons.  There comes a time to let incidents of the past go, while maintaining the wisdom of the lesson.  In the present, we prepare for what will best suit us in the future.  Life may require sacrifice and loss, as we acquire strength and endurance. 

There was a time I used to feel that the future never really arrives, but with passing years, I find myself actually living in this so called future.  And if I do not relinquish enough of my past nor apply the wisdom learned in my present, I run the risk of creating cracks in this so called future.

Mark Nepo reflects that a crack is an opportunity for new life.  I wonder then, if when I get too many cracks in this so called future,  when I think I am suffocating and dying, will I simply squeeze through the cracks leaving the world as I know it, but actually fall into yet another new world?

I truly do not expect answers or explanations to my questions.  After all, they still seem to be working on what came first, the chicken or the egg!

Dismantle the Wall

Indian teacher Sri Nisargadatta writes, "The mind creates the abyss. The heart crosses over it." Sometimes the abyss of fear and isolation is so wide that we hold back, unable to enter the sanctuary of presence, frozen in our pain. At such times, we need a taste of love from somewhere in order to begin the thaw.    

Tara Brach



Tara Brach is a Clinical Psychologist, Author, Teacher of Buddhist Mindfulness and regularly posts on a blog for The Huffington Post.  In the entry I was reading this morning, Tara Brach was sharing a story about a friend who was faced with illness and not surprisingly scared.  This story reflected how we throw up walls around us when we are frightened which prevents us from receiving what we need ... love.  She encourages us not to go into isolation but to reach out and asked to be loved.  To be loved is our basic need.

I have been a master brick layer all of my life.  I can create a solid brick wall within a blink of the eye.  My walls can be easily removed once I feel safe, but generally remain in place for lengths of time.   I can openly share this now as I have learned to face fear an not hide.  I am still tempted to demonstrate my brick laying skills, but I now force my self to stand still in the moment facing fear.  Fear is nothing but an illusion.  What happens to be waiting for us behind the illusion of fear is not always good, but it is better than the emotional damage hiding behind a wall.

Standing in the present moment requires courage as so does asking to be loved.   Some where along life's path I assumed that if you were worth it, people would tell you of their love and one never asked for love.  To ask for love would be totally humiliating. 

Sometimes in spite of our isolation, a true friend sees through our mask and reaches out to us, to save us from our limiting behaviors.  At first we may be shocked a person saw through our thick wall of protection, and then we collapse with relief to be loved after all.  

It takes more energy to be a master of disguise obsessed with building an invisible wall, than it does to stand still in the present moment.  It takes less energy to face our fears.  With great courage, we can extend our hand through fear and discover the warm hand of a friend just waiting for us.  We don't have to be alone to face the challenges in our lives.

These things help me:
~ be aware that a wall is being put up
~ notice the isolation
~ understand self-sabotage
~ remember being worthy
~ reach out to a trusted friend
~ request hugs
~ remember this is not unique nor healthy behavior
~ it is a basic human need to be loved

It is important to remember that action is the key.  Those surrounding us may or may not be aware of challenges we try to hide.  We must reach out.  Sometimes that is all we can do, just reach out.  Maybe we do not have the courage to disclose the story, but the act of reaching out will be comforting in itself.  When we gain the confidence to share our story, we then will have a person to explore some solutions.  Through trusted conversations, we can discover healthy
ways to move forward. 

Quick fixes are not the answer.  Be patient with life and we must be gentle with our self.  We can sit in the sun and allow our self to thaw.   We can discover a patron saint, a favortie poet, or a daily inspiration to help us on our way. (May I suggest Allan Cohen and Mark Nepo)  Brick by brick remove the wall.  If this seems impossible, than climb over it ... just get to the other side!

For whatever reason if we do not feel we have any person physically capable of being present to witness our lives, seek out a minister, a mentor, or guidance through meditation.  There are numerous energy workers or even a massage can stimulate our body, mind, and soul.  In prayer, we are always heard even if we do not receive immediate results.  Journal or write letters.   We need to make the choice to begin.  Reach out!

Allowing Truth to Rise Within





                                                     “You can't stop the future
                                                      You can't rewind the past
                                                  The only way to learn the secret
                                                          ...is to press play.”

                                                                Jay Asher
                                                  THIRTEEN REASONS WHY

 

 

 

It is as though someone has drained all color from the world and only black and white remains.  Instead of walking through soft sand, I am wandering through snow.  The floating butterflies are gone, replaced by hungry backyard winter birds.  The lovely outdoor gardens for dinning have disappeared along with all of the fresh fish.  So I guess I need to push play and get on with my life.

 

Perhaps I am simply stalling, knowing that responsibilities and obligations await.    I need to be gentle with my self as I transition back into place.  It takes more courage to be authentic at home than it did in the midst of strangers.  My thoughts need to focus on what feels true and release the interfering thoughts of fear. 

 

My intention is "to let truth as I know it rise within" just as Mark Nepo suggests.  He also advises even when we do not yet understand all that is our truth, we need to let it fill us.     As time passes, segments will come together  forming a complete piece.  Until I have full understanding of what I have experienced during my last adventure, I will remain open for understanding  or to be taught otherwise.   

 

Life can be compared to a dream in that during the first glance, we can form opinions, but as we look more deeply we can find layers of symbols and  hidden wisdom.  Like a dream, life frequently is not at all as it first appeared.  Understanding unfolds with time and patience encouraging us to experience it slowly and fully.  If for whatever reason we do not comprehend the initial experience, like a dream, it will recur until we learn the necessary truth.

 

It comes down to how much time  we want to invest in understanding our own lives.  Do we want the Cliff Notes or the enhanced version?  Are we always going to take the express lanes or will we route our experiences partially upon country roads?  Will we speed dial or slowly enter individual numbers? 

 

We will discover the need to pace our selves through life or life has a way of slowing us down.  All we have is the present moment  so we must expand each moment to the fullest even if just while we are standing still.

Don't Own It!

" ... though these thoughts come through you, they are not who you are."  MARK NEPO, THE BOOK OF AWAKENING

Certainly we all have experienced a time when a truly dark thought has jetted across our mind, leaving us to question our selves, "Where did that come from?"  Seemingly out of no where, a darkness escapes and we are appalled.

We all have a shadow side we try to hide or suppress and then like a jack-in-the-box it jumps out and surprises us.  Rather than chastising our selves, we can simply recognize the passing of our dark side and not react.  Dark thoughts when not acted upon, do no harm.  To suppress them can eventually harm our body, mind or spirit. 

To stretch our mind, we may also consider dark thoughts randomly floating through our mind as 'collective' energy surrounding us.  We are capable of picking up the thoughts of others or collective consciousness, but these thoughts are not who we are.    Be aware of the experience and then let it go.  Don't own it.

In the Flow

I've been a fish:  in search of bottom when I've surfaced, in search of surface when I 've bottomed, and the ribbon of God's sea passing through my gills is what I've felt and thought and spoken.

Mark Nepo

The Book of Awakening


In my life, I have too frequently found my self treading water exhausted rather than gently going with the flow.  Going against currents weaken our discovery for what we yearn to know, while fighting upstream can be an obsessive distraction.

According to Mark Nepo, like the small fish uses a gill for turning water into air, we must turn our experiences into something that can sustain us.  We can transform our pain and heartache into something positive to help us move through our days rather than trying to figure out how it all works.

We can determine for our selves which flow we want to follow, as not all of us are meant for mainstream.  No matter what we decide, we must find our soul to be trusting and mindful of what we learn while in the flow!

Meaningful Existence

I don't know Who --- or what --- put the question.  I don't know when it was put.  I don't even remember answering.  But at some moment I did answer Yes to Someone --- or Something --- and from that hour I was certain that existence is meaningful and that therefore, my life, in self-surrrender, had a goal.

Dag Hammarskjold

Secretary General of the United Nations

Within each of us, there is a small soft voice speaking to us.  It is underneath all of the self-criticism being spewed by our ego, under the analytical brainstorming of our mind, and under our lonely hearts.  The small voice patiently waits for each of us to be still long enough to listen.

Eckhart Tolle tells us to lean into a tree to discover stillness.  With our fast paced society, we have forgotten how to be still.  Many of us experience stillness only when we fall exhausted into a restless sleep.

The still small voice that awaits our attention is sometimes called God or Buddha or Allah or Divine Mother or Universal Love.  The title is unimportant, but the substance is vital to our purpose and unfolding.  Meaningful existence can be created through a deep connection when we at last surrender to the wisdom within. 

Listening takes time and patience, but the whispers can be heard while reading, or walking or listening to music.  Stilling the mind is important, but we all do not have to sit and meditate or contemplate in order to discover the spiritual connection.

Hearing the whispers of wisdom is important, but things do not stop there.  We learn to trust and have faith, we begin to surrender to greater intentions than self-pleasing goals.  Surrendering is difficult as it prompts change that we are not always prepared to make. 

How will this change my approach to life?  Will this impact the lives of my loved ones?  Am I to believe this is really true?  Can I have more guidance and direction?  When will like minded beings join me in this effort?  All of these questions and more pave the path to a meaningful existence.  We do not need to live in poverty or give up rewards we have earned, but we may be led to use them differently to impact those who surround us.  We may be called to extend more kindness or compassion or to see life with an open heart rather than through tinted lenses.

When we have established a heart connection with the wisdom within, we lead fuller and more productive lives.  Our existence takes on deeper meaning during the stillness we create.  We  no longer feel alone and our purpose in life becomes inspiring, not only to ourselves, but to others as well. 

***Inspired by Mark Nepo's newly released book, SEVEN THOUSAND WAYS TO LISTEN.

Heart of My Soul

Some persons are very decisive

when it comes to avoiding decisions.

Brendan Francis

My mind has been a muddle for several weeks now.  I have been longing for new insight, for spiritual stimulation, and for ancient wisdom to unfold.  My search has taken me to a dead end without resolution.   I have been frustrated and discouraged as my expectations go unmet.

Then it is as though an unseen mentor pulls a heavy curtain to the side and I see with new eyes a passage way overlooked before.  The hallway is filled with warmth, light, and understanding.  It seems to embrace me in such a way that I realize I am being led down a path into the heart of my soul.

Sitting ...  being ...  in solitude,  I find company with myself once again.  I pull in all of my energy being wasted on outward searches and let it rekindle my own truth.  I open my heart to trust in the spiritual process, knowing that soon I will be led.

Within hours, I receive Mark Nepo's wonderful new book, SEVEN THOUSAND WAYS TO LISTEN.  I skim through it excitedly and as I go to put it on the bookshelf, I discover a writing of Gary Zukav. THE MIND OF THE SOUL resonated within me and thankfully my favorite parts are  heavily highlighted!  Returning to my computer, a particular DAILY OM is waiting for me about The Start of Change.  And so it all falls together.

I feel alive again, empowered and ready to cartwheel down this corridor which had been temporarily hidden from me.  In my own small thinking, I have been avoiding my own self-worth.  Doors kept closing of course, until I was safely corralled back into the heart of my soul.  I have yet again learned another lesson and it is good to be me!

The Escape of Little Birds

The quiet man filled with worry kept shaving while his soul kept whispering beneath his reflection:

Loving yourself is like feeding 

a clear bird no one else can see.

And once in a great while 

if someone loves you enough

they may see her rise

from beneath your fear.

 

AS FAR AS THE HEART CAN SEE

Mark Nepo

To love someone is an act that seems to come easily, but to love our selves ... well that's a lot more challenging.  We are our own worst enemies and we judge our selves more harshly than any one else.  When referring to someone else, we lavish compliments and point out gifts and talents.  In discussion of our selves we are more apt to focus on our weaknesses.  

"You must love your self before you can truly love another," was a statement I heard as a young person.  It totally did not resonate with me.  Loving my self? How was that going to happen? I was too busy trying to convince other people to love me while attempting to become whatever they needed instead of being my original self.

As time passes, we learn there will be others who will never like us let alone love us.  We come to understand the false goal of seeking acceptance from all peoples.  Time turns us inward to our authenticity and it is up to us to learn to embrace it.  Once we begin to like who we are we eventually learn to love our selves and not care so much about meeting expectations of others. We turn to our own desires and dreams creating a passion which suddenly seems to be pulling our lives together.  In loving our true selves, we attract others to us. 

When we learn to embrace both our weaknesses and strengths, it is easier to accept others in their totality.  As we learn to be 'comfortable in our own skin', those around us become comfortable in theirs as well.

NAMASTE` is an ancient Sanskrit blessing meaning:

"I honor the place in you

where spirit lives.

I honor the place in you

which is of love, of truth, of light, of peace.

When you are in that place in you,

and I am in that place in me,

then we are one."

When we are able to develop this Sanskrit blessing into a way of living, we experience love in many forms.  It is in this NAMASTE` approach we just may catch a glimpse of little 'inner' birds escaping from beneath undisclosed fears.

Integrity Intertwined with Inner Courage

Sometimes a glance,
a few casual words,
fragments of a melody floating 
through the quiet air of a summer evening,
a book accidentally comes into our hands,
a poem or a memory-laden fragrance,
may bring about the impulse 
which changes and determines
our whole life.


Llama Gouinda

A simple impulse can change our lives, but we need courage to step through any fear or hesitation.  It is courage that allows us to feel, to act, or to be still.  Inner courage, however, is equally important.  

In his book, FINDING INNER COURAGE, author Mark Nepo states: "The word courage means to stand by one's core."  He also shares:"By inner courage, I mean the ground of quiet braveries from which the more visible braveries sprout."  

This is the layer of courage we need to recognize within ourselves.  It is what allows us to say, "No, I will not agree to a divorce," or "Yes, I feel qualified for this position," or "I no longer desire to hold this belief for my self."  It is the same courage allowing us to remain still when we are tempted by judgment or depriving someone else of their time in the light.  Decisions made throughout our day requires this inner courage.  The more we honor this courage inside, the stronger our spirit grows and we become more courageous on the outside as well.

The word integrity, to me, has always meant who you are when no one is looking. So it would seem that integrity is intertwined with inner courage.   It takes this inner strength to over ride human weakness and temptations that others never see.  It is at the core of our being.

It is definitely a challenge to stand by core beliefs, but it is what we are called to do with an open mind and forgiving heart.  We must not expect others to view life exactly as we do, but we can expect others to honor us as we honor them.

  

The Road Less Traveled ...

Two roads diverged in a wood,

and I .......

I took the one less traveled by,

And that had made all the difference.

Robert Frost

Traveling down a darkened path, I came upon a fork in the road.  In this dream, there was also a tree plumply filled with birds as though it were a sacred symbol deliberately placed to gain my attention. I looked to the path leading to the right, and it was a well traveled straight line to my destination.  The other path was not well lighted nor was it very well groomed.  Some how I understood this path would also take me to where I wanted to be, but that it would be the long way, not the easy way.  The choice I made in the dream seemed to govern my choice of passage in real life.

We all wonder how we will be called to serve others.  It can be through teaching, social services, fire fighting, police, military as there are many areas available.  The career chosen is simply the vehicle we use to serve and we individually choose if we will serve with integrity or deception.  Frequently we are faced with the decision whether to take the easy route or the longer less defined way.

In many ways my life has been challenging, but in my heart it is very clear to me that I have best served others by taking the less traveled road.  It has offered me more opportunities to walk upon a path meeting others who have been teachers for me or those in need of who I am.

My identity ebbs and flows based upon my confidence, awareness, compassion, and connectedness to the whole, especially through nature.  When I am at my best, my energy and light touch the lives of others just by my presence.  By offering loving kindness whether through a smile or a thorough discussion, I have the choice to help someone in need. 

There is no intention for reward or recognition, but a simple hope to have cleared the way for someone else's understanding.  Perhaps I have lifted the veil to greater understanding or planted a seed that will produce food for thought.  It does not matter what profession we claim, but how we use our loving kindness to enable the 'wounded' to be brave enough to heal themselves.

Mark Nepo in THE BOOK OF AWAKENING uses the term "spiritual hospitality."  He describes this as helping kindred spirits by offering and receiving "...guidance

and comfort on the way --- without imposition, design, or thought of reward." 

By offering compassion to those who struggle, a sense of comfort is created where healing can begin to take place.  In many ways, the action of "spiritual hospitality" is like the book PAY IT FORWARD.  By experiencing loving kindness from others whom we may never have the means to repay, we extend learned compassion to those we eventually come to meet. 

I truly believe whenever we extend a helping hand, a gift is left in the palm of our own.  We must extend our hand, one to the other, rather than raising a fist or building a wall.  Allow the hand to remove the wall or to relax into a gesture of kindness. 

By joining hands, we can make a difference no matter which road we decide to travel.  We can reach out emotionally or physically, silently or actively, receiving or offering, but reach out we must.

Our Dream as a Stepping Stone

Who looks outside, dreams.

Who looks inside, awakens.

Carl Jung

A distinction can be made between dreaming and dreams.  Dreaming, even day-dreaming, offers information, creative expression, artistic flair, prophetic message, assessment and symbolism.  This list really could be extended in great length.  An important difference between dreaming and dreams is the dreamer does not have control over dreaming, but does create a dream in the sense of a goal.

A dream can be an expectation deliberately formed with specific efforts to be carried out.  It can be planned, orchestrated, prepared for, and adjusted to fit a time line or other expectations.  In this instance, the dreamer chooses everything defined and has control over the content.

From the time we are little tykes, people are asking what we want to be when we grow up.  So from a very young age, setting up a dream for ourselves is already in process.  Over the years, the dream changes from wanting to be a fireman to a basketball star to a college coach or athletic director.  Our original dream might be of a ballerina to a rock star to an athlete to owning our own dance studio.  As life unfolds, however, we are likely to have a greater variance in our unfolding.  Many of our intentions fall by the way side forgotten or repressed.

In THE BOOK OF AWAKENING author Mark Nepo states:

             The truth is that what we want or dream of doesn't

             always last.  It tends to serve its purpose in our

             development and then fades away, losing its relevance.

             And we can do enormous damage to ourselves by

             insisting on carrying that which has died.

             Living up to a dream is rarely as important as

             entering it for all it has to teach.

Energy is wasted when being used to beat ourselves up for failing to follow through with a dream.  Instead, we can look more closely at what was learned while striving towards the dream.  What did it teach us?  Did we learn a discipline that we might not have learned otherwise?  How did the dream connect us from one point to another?

Perhaps it is healthier to look at a dream as a stepping stone rather than the ultimate destination.  Over time, our growth or development evolves, altering our perspective.  Our personal dreams need to be flexible as our reality changes.  

There are many 'baby boomers' retiring now who were 'hippies' or 'flower children' with passionate dreams for reform.   As their dreams faded for whatever reason, they now have the time and sometimes the money to return to the passion that stayed lodged in their hearts over the years.  Volunteering, community involvement, structuring non-profits or becoming a spokes person revitalizes and redesigns the original dream.

Dreams can be laid to rest or set aside for future reference.  The important thing is to be mindful of the gifts along the way.  Let there be no pass or fail in judgment of what might have been.  Allow the spirit residing within guide you exactly where you need to be. 

Life is an adventure if we do not let our designated dreams become barriers to where we eventually become drawn.  It is important to not let dreams set limitations preventing all that you were truly meant to be.

 

Finding Holiness

Older now, you find holiness

in anything that continues.

~Naomi Shihab Nye

Everything changes as we age ... personally, socially, and worldly.  Our perception, forgiveness, and compassion are no longer on a sliding scale, as with an open heart much more can be embraced and understood.

"The longer I wake on this Earth, the louder the quiet things speak to me.  The more I experience and survive, the more I find truth in the commonalties we all share.  The more pain softens me, the deeper my joy and the greater the lessons of those things that live in great stillness."  (Mark Nepo, THE BOOK OF AWAKENING)

Life seems to slow down offering pauses where we can see clearly what was once a blur.  In the pockets of stillness, life speaks lifting a veil so we can once again see the magic of the world.  Our childhood wonder and innocence returns bringing laughter and joy to our lips.  If we drink of this nectar of life,

we may still be alone, but never lonely.