Let No One Take It Away

“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.”

Barbara De Angelis

                                                                

Surviving a few major relationships, dedicated to a vibrant career, I willingly faced life as a single, but surrounded by solid friendships.  By living alone, I had freedom to do whatever I wanted within reason.  I resided in a condo much like a tree house, having access to the sky, the stars, and the moon.  I gathered various groups whenever it pleased, and entertained with a creative flair that greatly appeased.  I continued to enjoy the fullness in my life, but I desired to  have a companion to finish out my remaining years. 
  

Living by one's self for any length of time creates spontaneity and flexibility without having to account for impulsiveness.  Freedom to readjust schedules on a whim, eat cereal for dinner without a second thought, and stay in pajamas for a full day without a care.  There is pleasure found in shutting the house down at 7 p.m. retreating to bed for long evenings read. This freedom to do as one pleases creates the ability to become rather indulgent in an innocent but selfish way. 

We hold our selves accountable for what we say and meet our personal needs as so inclined.  We speak our truth without fear of embarrassing a mate or causing conflict and tension within the home.  We can run late and eat on the fly, and change course unable to see the bookstore without dropping by.  Each part of our life is orchestrated exacting harmony in our lives.

There came a time , for me at least, where my life indeed was full, but I wanted to bring someone into my fold, to share and be shared as life would unfold.  And in doing so, one needs to change the notes in one's song, adjusting words to a new harmony.   It takes time and experience to find the balance of two dancing instead of one.

So we speak of integrity and it should continue to hold true.  No matter if we are alone or sharing life we must use our voice to speak our truth.  We must come out of our analytical thinking and express our needs in spite of the confusion that may fall.  We must stay true to our self even while sharing this doubled life.  It is too easy to lose our self, relinquishing our right to freedom we deserve to hold. 

It is necessary for each of us to preserve our freedom and to respect the freedom of others.  It is ours to have and to hold each in our own right.  Let no one take it away. 

Touching Each Other

Let us remember that our lives

set an example for others.

No one can say his life doesn't matter,

her words don't matter.

 Eknath Easwaran

Thoughts for the Day

Words to Live By

We all have experienced an exchange with someone who claims, "I will never forget what you said to me," or "I will never forget what you did that one time!"  We frantically search for the time being referenced and nothing comes up.  We smile our humble smile, perhaps nod our head, but for the life of us, we cannot even begin to imagine what this person is talking about. 

It doesn't matter when we extend:

There are times when Divine Spirit speaks through us without our awareness.  A person may desperately need encouragement or validation and even though we personally are not tuned into this particular need, we are vessels of good will.  We may extend a small gesture to someone and never remember it, but to that person it may be life changing.  I we are listening, we will be prompted by Divine Spirit, nudged in a random direction for a reason we may never know.

It matters when we receive:

There are times when we may feel overwhelmed or isolated and miraculously we have an exchange with a total stranger that brings us back to balance.  Once I attended a gathering when I was not in a very good emotional place.  I entered the room and faced complete strangers who all seemed to know each other.  I felt great anxiety with the impulsive idea of making a quick exit when someone said to me, "Come.  Sit here by me.  There is an extra seat."  I was so thankful and yet this person did not seem to have any awareness of how this kindness enabled me to find comfort then and the courage to return again, and again.  In the following months, I saw this person numerous times, and even though we never connected again, I will always remember the kind gesture.  The extended gesture helped me not only in the moment, but in future awkward moments as well.  It has also helped me to be mindful towards others, passing the gesture on.

If we are our very best even when we think we are invisible to others, Divine Spirit may be using us to reflect something to another.  Just our present energy, if powerfully bright and joyful, can allow someone else to tap in and feel recharged.   Visualize that toddler in the grocery store who brightens up our day with a toothless grin.  He or she may never remember us, but we might carry their image within us, brightening our perspective all day long.  We never really know when we are touching each other inside of the invisible grid of life binding us together.

Beyond the Ending

 

Closed Path

I thought that my voyage had come to its end

at the last limit of my power, 

...that the path before me was closed

that provisions were exhausted

and the time had come to take shelter in a silent obscurity.

But I find that they will knows no end in me. 

And when old words die out on the tongue,

new melodies break forth from the heart;

and where the old tracks are lost,

new country is revealed with its wonders.

Rabindranath Tagore

The cycle of life consists of a new beginning followed by an ending.  This cycle is repeated in our thoughts, actions, and deeds.  Birth, death, and rebirth is seen everywhere in nature and in every human beings existence.
We can experience death and rebirth within a very short period of time or experience a very prolonged span for action followed by consequences.  A synchronised  moment can give life to a dying thought.  A coincidence can birth a brand new beginning.  A spiritual epiphany can restore our dying human spirit.
It is part of the human voyage to experience situations like a hole in the bottom of the boat, appearing to be 'the death of me' or 'the end of me' only to discover life has not abandoned us after all.  We may find our selves washed up on shore, penniless, but cleansed and prepared for a new start.
Tonight at midnight, the year of 2012 ends and the year of 2013 offers us a new beginning.  We must see beyond the ending and chart our course to being a better 'me' which will improve our actions towards all others.  If we can but carry just one thought beyond this ending into the new year, let it be  to embrace each other, respecting diversity.

Integrity Intertwined with Inner Courage

Sometimes a glance,
a few casual words,
fragments of a melody floating 
through the quiet air of a summer evening,
a book accidentally comes into our hands,
a poem or a memory-laden fragrance,
may bring about the impulse 
which changes and determines
our whole life.


Llama Gouinda

A simple impulse can change our lives, but we need courage to step through any fear or hesitation.  It is courage that allows us to feel, to act, or to be still.  Inner courage, however, is equally important.  

In his book, FINDING INNER COURAGE, author Mark Nepo states: "The word courage means to stand by one's core."  He also shares:"By inner courage, I mean the ground of quiet braveries from which the more visible braveries sprout."  

This is the layer of courage we need to recognize within ourselves.  It is what allows us to say, "No, I will not agree to a divorce," or "Yes, I feel qualified for this position," or "I no longer desire to hold this belief for my self."  It is the same courage allowing us to remain still when we are tempted by judgment or depriving someone else of their time in the light.  Decisions made throughout our day requires this inner courage.  The more we honor this courage inside, the stronger our spirit grows and we become more courageous on the outside as well.

The word integrity, to me, has always meant who you are when no one is looking. So it would seem that integrity is intertwined with inner courage.   It takes this inner strength to over ride human weakness and temptations that others never see.  It is at the core of our being.

It is definitely a challenge to stand by core beliefs, but it is what we are called to do with an open mind and forgiving heart.  We must not expect others to view life exactly as we do, but we can expect others to honor us as we honor them.