New Years Eve ... Worry versus Wonder

In the landscape of time,

there are few locations less comfortable

than that of one who waits

for some person or event to arrive

at some unknown moment in the future.

Robert Grudin

New Years Eve and we find ourselves assessing what we achieved and what we allowed to fall by the way side.  We count our blessings, but being humans we linger over our losses a little longer than necessary.

Many of us have counted the days throughout the year, waiting for that special person to arrive and change our life forever.  Be it a doctor to cure us, an employer to hire us, or a soul mate to love us, we may be facing the end of the year alone.

With all of the fear being propagated about 2012, I recently searched material reflecting attitudes back in 1699 and 1899 finding the same fearful statements of what 1700 or 1900 might bring ... destruction, diseases, and unknown catastrophes.  To me, it seemed as though there were no differences between then and now except for the dates.  The great "not knowing" or uncertainties drenched in the depths of fear.

In one of my readings, I found a suggestion to replace the word worry with the word wonder. This simplistic suggestion has altered my thinking process.  It is a wonderful reframe!

Test it right now ... say the word worry and notice the heaviness and fear of it.  Now say the word wonder and feel the lightness and curiosity. 

Who is it that says, "Be the change you want to see."  If you want peace, be peaceful to your self and others.  If you want to extinguish hunger, feed your self and your neighbors.  If you desire respect, respect your self and others.  Well, you get the idea.

The year 2011 has been filled with death and rebirth of thoughts, expectations, and situations I no longer needed. The year has been painful, but equally rewarding.  As 2012 begins, I have the sense that it will be a time for things to fall into place or come together for me.  

As this year comes to a close, we can let go of what no longer serves us and make room for new positive experiences awaiting us. Replace the gripping fingers of fear with the face of magical wonderment. 

"I shall fear no evil." 

An Answer Dressed in Unexpected Attire

We live in a very tense society. 

We are pulled apart...

and we all need to learn how to pull ourselves together....

I think that at least part of the answer lies in solitude. 

~Helen Hayes

Spirit is always trying to connect with us to offer guidance and support.  Divine Wisdom can come to us in many forms: praying, reading, singing, meditating, artistic expression, or simply listening in silence.

There are times when we are in need of solution, and unfortunately our expectations take the form of rigidity.

We are waiting for an exact response affirming what we seek.  It simply doesn't work that way. 

We sometimes say, "I never received an answer," when the truth is we received an answer we did not want to hear or we asked then neglected to listen.  I believe it is Garth Brooks who said, "Some of the best gifts have been unanswered prayers." 

Through hindsight, we all can recall a time we prayed so hard for something or wished upon a star ... every night ... never receiving the anticipated response.  In time, we realized that had prayer been affirmed, we would have missed out on something much more meaningful than our original request.

So how do we know the answer to our questions?  Spend some time in solitude, even if it is only a small segment of our day.  Do not be so rigid in our expectations that we entirely miss an answer dressed in unexpected attire.

What is that old joke about the drowning man.  A life guard tries to save him, but the man sends him away shouting, "I am a Christian and God will save me!"  Then a boat comes by with the captain offering a life jacket, but again the drowning man, going under for the second time, sends the boat away, certain that God will save him.  Lastly, a helicopter drops a rope pleading with the man to grasp for safety.  As the man goes under the water for the third and last time, he drowns.  He awakens to find himself at the pearly gates facing St. Peter demanding to know why God did not save him as he was a faithful Christian man.  St. Peter responded, "God sent you help three times!"

When we find our selves drowning in our own issues, desperately in need of rescue, pay close attention to the unexpected opportunities presenting themselves.  We can collect a variety of ideas and open our heart as we sit in solitude fitting the unlikely pieces together.   

Dreams and Desires

What we can do and want to do is projected in our imagination, quite outside ourselves, and into the future. We are attracted to what is already ours in secret. Thus passionate anticipation transforms what is indeed possible into dreamt-for reality.

  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

                (1749 - 1832)


Many believe that God has a plan for us before we feel the desire.  Once we become aware of a desire, we begin to visualize how this dream might come true.  The crisp image supported by positive thinking, projects out into the Universe where things very well may begin to draw together.

There are words like synchronicity, fate, destiny, chance or accidental meetings reflecting the unseen networking provided by Divine.  We take our seat on an airplane and discover the person sitting next to us is looking to fill a position in his office ... the very kind of employment you are dreaming about.  You casually mention to a friend a particular need, and she excitedly tells you how her neighbor is capable of the very solution.  An associate mentions a book of poems and your interest is piqued.  You begin searching for the old collection of poems but cannot find it anywhere.  While talking with your grandfather your eyes wander to his desk and there sits the very book of poems you have been searching for.

Divine Spirit is like a great Amazon.com out in the Universe.  Perhaps there are some angels sit and google all day, looking for the exact connections we need.  Then other angels appear linking us to their discovered resources. (This is my sense of humor.)

So be careful what you wish for, where you place your focus, and what degree you pay attention to the world around you.  Explore possibilities to begin to connect the dots so you will not be the 'missing link' to your own future.



Silent the Sounds

It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts. 

~K.T. Jong

As I sit in my favorite chair by the window, watching the birds fly from tree to tree, I let the concerns from the day slide away.  The stillness of the room encourages my monkey mind to settle down and to allow the comfort of silence relax my body, mind, and soul.

Memories of Christmas carols, children playing with new toys, expressions written across young parents faces, and the lines of loss etched upon others once again are recalled.  There are friends I have missed, some whose final destination I do not know, and others who have simply just let go. 

My chair embraces me, holds me as my thoughts drift into silence.  It is within this silence that the whispers of truth finally reach my ear.  In this chair of comfort, I can safely explore what life reveals as it knocks upon my heart's door.

This solitude allows me to speculate, but not be drawn in to decision making or planning.  It is a neutral time for simple observation, allowing all drama to fall by the way side.  I can see into the heart of the matter and feel the 'knowing' of what is true.

Before much longer, the Christmas tree will no longer be in my view.  I will miss the white lights laced between the branches, reflecting purity and goodness while I rest in my chair.  Time passes and the holidays come and go, but I can always find the beauty of life by stepping in to silence with body, mind, and soul. 

Sauntering Through the Woods

I think that I cannot preserve my health and spirits, unless I spend four hours a day at least - and it is commonly more than that - sauntering through the woods and over the hills and fields, absolutely free from all worldly engagements. 

~Henry David Thoreau

It is a glorious day!  The sun is out, no harsh wind blowing through the trees, and my schedule allows freedom to play.  I take Hannah, a golden retriever near and dear to my heart, for a walk through the woods.  We are both smiling, happy to be outside and away from others.

What is it about being in nature that calms my soul?  When the birds take flight singing their song, my eyes follow them across the sky, feeling as though a part of me is soaring above right along with them. 

As we walk along, I observe Hannah as she lifts her snout up into the air as though she is detecting delicacies fresh from an oven.  Her entire body wags in delight as she almost prances down the path. 

It is the trees who call loudest to me.  They have been stripped of their brilliantly colored leaves and yet they remain standing tall and proud.  Facing a season of brutal winds and freezing temperatures, they remain courageous.

We find ourselves off the beaten path.  I settle onto a bench hidden in the trees while Hannah quickly settles upon the ground, as happy as she can be.  This is where I can relax, breathe in the crisp air and exhale the built up holiday tensions.  I slowly return to being me.

Oh how I need this solitude, to be isolated from those I dearly love,  to have a gentle breeze sweep away the emotional remnants hanging in the hallways of my mind, and to rise spiritually out of this human form.

This is my favorite space in what is called time.  I am limitless, and not restrained by boundaries of any kind.  I am freely connected to bird, tree, and sun as it all becomes a part of me.  Suspended in nothingness, I am filled with all there is to be seen and unseen.  A sacred oneness enters me.

It is here in the woods with life kept at bay, that I have the strongest sense of self.  Surrounded by nature, all becomes holy.  I am content to be me.

Reluctantly, I stand to leave these sacred grounds and Hannah pauses as though she, too,  is saying good-bye.  Together we find our way back to the path, slowly retreating from the woods into the static noise of the world.

Sit Awhile ...

Never be afraid to sit awhile and think. 

~Lorraine Hansberry,

A Raisin in the Sun

Exhausted.  Why do I do this to myself?  When I am tired, I am so much more vulnerable to sadness and disappointment. 

The holidays.  When did they become such a drain both physically and emotionally?  I have not had enough sleep and I have not eaten healthy either.

Support.  Did I journal during the holidays?  I am not even sure where I last placed my journal.  I now realize I have not accessed my resources.

Routine.  Why am I so easily pulled from my schedule?
Mark Nepo and Alan Cohen are always my early morning read, but there has been no quiet time for meditation nor contemplation.

Bedtime.  I believe I will just sit in my chair and let my mind reflect upon these days that have just passed.  I will breathe in calm and exhale stress.  I will mentally surround myself with golden light, forming a cocoon of safety and love.  Restoration of both body and soul will prepare me for sleep.

Sleep.  As my head safely rests upon my pillow, I will hold my favorite memories from Christmas close to my heart.  As I fall asleep, I hear myself promise, "I will do better this New Year!"

Finding the Child ...

 

 

There's nothing sadder in this world

than to awake Christmas morning

and not be a child.

Erma Bombeck

As the mother of four, making Christmas magical was a full time job.  Specialty stocking stuffers chosen specifically for each individual stocking took thought, preparation and time.  Christmas wrapping paper were of two different varieties: one was used only for Santa's presents, and the other for gifts from Mom or Dad.  Each child would receive his or her special ornament that had been selected with care (which they claimed for themselves once an adult leaving my tree almost bare!)

A variety of cookies needed to be baked as siblings never liked the same ones.  Groceries galore filled every inch of counter space.  Appropriate clothing for Christmas Eve church services or church Christmas programs or school Christmas programs needed to be purchased for all four growing children.  Hiding spots for the gathering purchases also needed to be discovered. 

Time had to be designated between the children's commitments, adult obligatory dinners, and gatherings of friends.  Then opportunities needed to be created between stories of the Christ child, Advent services, and religious reflection.

It is no wonder women suffer from empty nest syndrome once the children have all moved away.  What to do with all of the extra time? There are other resolves than waiting for grandchildren to start the crazy cycle of creating magic all over again.

After I had my children, I realized that I needed to withdraw from several activities in order to be the kind of mother I expected myself to be.  I recall this decision clearly and knew both then and years later that there would be time when to reclaim my life as my own.

Our age does not matter, however, when we have the opportunity to once again be a child.  Perhaps the awareness of a child could be with us daily.  We can hide gifts for friends; make a snow angel;  select a special present for ourselves, wrap it in decorative paper and place it mysteriously under the tree ... waiting like a child for Christmas morn.

Frequently, we are referred to as children of God.  In this sense we are called to experience life with childlike wonder, to maintain faith and trust like that of a child, and to play well with others.  Our gifts of course are not found under a tree, but rather well hidden and waiting to be discovered within ourselves.

So on this Christmas Day, through childlike eyes see the surrounding magic.  See the beauty of the earth, and the radiance in every one's hearts.  Listen for the whispers of guidance to be heard in the lyrics of Christmas Carols or to be found in the written word. 

Light one candle, just one small votive candle in honor of yourself, in respect for all that has been given and all that has yet to come.  Give praise and thanksgiving for the freedom to celebrate the Christmas Season in whatever manner you choose. 

 On this Christmas Day,

I wish you a heart full of happiness

and a mind filled with inspiration

and wonderment!

Santa Claus, Symbol of Hope

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.

- W. C. Fields

My earliest memory of Christmas is pretending to be intrigued by the age old stories of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and Frosty the Snow Man as I held my little books in my lap.  I was not allowed to help decorate the tree as I apparently did not do it 'right'.  So as my sister and mother joyfully decorated the tree, I remained alone on the couch . 

My eyes would wander over to the wooden manger with all of the statues of animals, shepherds, wise men, Mary and Joseph, and of course the baby Jesus in the manger.  The star that was placed by edge of the roof always held my attention.  There was an unexplainable significance in the star always remaining just out of my reach.

Every Christmas Eve my family attended church services.  As a small child, I did not feel much of a celebration with the birth of Christ knowing that he would soon be crucified.   My imagination, however, was always captivated by the brilliance of all the candles filling the church.  This fascination with the flickering flames of light continues today.

Santa Claus was important to me, but not because of any glamorous presents and toys.  He brought a sense of magic I desperately needed in my life.  It was difficult for me to stop believing in him and to face my emotional isolation.  I was 13 years old when I finally released my childhood fantasy of Santa.

As an adult, I began to shop for wooden Santa Claus figures.  I have accumulated quite a collection, purchasing one per year.  I have kept them in a cabinet for many years, always displaying them at Christmas time.  Each Santa holds unique meaning for me and individual placement is given great care. 

Every Christmas, my children received presents from Santa, and the gifts were signed with distinguished penmanship.  I created a specific signature for "Santa"

which I continue to use to this day.  As grown adults, I believe that my children continue to enjoy the random surprises found in their stockings that "Santa" continues to fill.

The child in me still watches for Santa Claus as

I realize that no matter how old you are or what he is named (Santa, St. Nick, Father Time) he is a symbol of hope.  Every year, my lips break into a smile every time I hear, "Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!"

The Meanings of Christmas

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.     - Agnes M. Pharo


Deep in each and every one of us, we long to be heard, accepted, and loved.  As we have no control over anyone else, we must execute our own behaviors to open the hearts of others by being available to them.  Not be used, abused, or minimized, but to retrieve parts of our inner being that remain caught in the past.  As a dear mentor of mine says, "Pull our parts together."  In so doing, we become whole and better prepared to approach the life we have been meant to live.

It takes courage to be emotionally vulnerable to what has hurt us in the past.  As we face family or friends, we accept them ... their truth, their path, their choices ... without any need to 'fix' them or bring them 'around to our way of thinking."  They, too, want to be heard, accepted, and loved, but not one of us needs to forsake our selves ... our dreams, our insights, our paths ... in order to be loved.

Personally, I find silence to be a wonderful tool for this holiday season when so many unresolved differences are presented.  Silence, accompanied by sincere listening, genuine acceptance, and love, promotes a safe passage for everyone involved.  We can agree to disagree, emotionally stay in tact, and experience the true meaning of Christmas.

And what is the true meaning of Christmas?  I believe it is determined individually in many languages and with a wide range of definitions.  In the final translation, however, I believe we find these words ... hope, unconditional love, and peace.

Carry Your Holiday Light ...



               When Christmas bells are swinging

                above the fields of snow,

              We hear sweet voices ringing

                from lands of long ago,

               And etched on vacant places

                 are half-forgotten faces

                Of friends we used to cherish,

                    and loves we used to know.

"Christmas Fancies" - Poems of Power 

               - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Christmas songs, candles, and merriment frequently carry us down memory lane.  We recall friends who may be challenged by health issues or who may have transitioned through death.  Old childhood or neighborhood friends may come to mind.  Co-workers we promised to stay in touch with may have gently drifted away or life long friends may have discontinued contact.

Holidays can be filled with laughter as well as longing.  We miss what once was familiar and wonder if life will ever be the same.  No matter how satisfying our current relationships may be, remnants of lost love may still hang like cobwebs in the darkened hallways of our minds.

This year, when we raise our glass with a toast for the new year, will our glass be half-full or half-empty?  Will we be looking through the distorted lenses of illusion or through the colorful spectrum of creativity and imagination? 

Our lives become the product of our focus.  Embrace the possibility of dreams and untangle the fingers of fear.  Anticipate all that is positive and wise.  Carry your holiday light into your darkness, so there will be light forever more.



Winter Solstice

 

Happy Solstice - may peace and joy be spread across this beautiful Earth, may tolereance become the new ideal and respect for all beliefs reign supreme.       ~Ruth Tipsword Bryant Souther

Through the Eyes of the Innocent Child

 

 
 
Christmas gift suggestions:

To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.

- Oren Arnold

With child like innocense, we can easily observe the magic of the season.  Some of us are more comfortable using the term synchronicity for the impecable timing of people, places, and things coming together with an unexpected and unexplainable connection.

With our heart open, we are available to more experiences with friends, neighbors and strangers.  It is during this holiday season that we are more apt to greet others with a warm smile or a gesture of kindness.

When we have been emotionally or physically wounded, we have the tendency to protect ourselves from further harm.  We may hide behind imaginary armor not realizing we are robbing ourselves of the experience of sincere and honest relationship.  The armor keeps others 'out', but also keeps our pain in.  We can be stubborn like a child.

When we view experiences through the eyes of the innocent child, the holidays can be more playful.  Forgiving and tolerating friends and family tends to be easier and leads to healing.  To serve others by giving of our personal time or financial support creates a stronger sense of dignity and integrity within us.  When we assist others, we also help our selves.

The holidays can be a very challenging time which opens the door to opportunity for deep cleansing and release.  We can begin to prepare our welcoming for genuine love and acceptance in the new year.  Activate artistic expression and visualization through the eyes of the innocent child.

In Celebration of Hanukkah

December 20 ~ 28, 2011

May love and light fill your home and heart at Hanukkah. 

~Author Unknown

Hanukkah known as the Festival of Lights is a very joyous 8 day Jewish Celebration dating back to 165 BC.  A  Menorah associated with this holiday has nine candle holders with the middle candle cup holding a candle to ignite the other 8.  Of the eight,  one is lit on the first night, and an additional one on each succeeding nights.   

Hanukkah begins on the evening of December 20th and lasts until the evening of December 28th.  The dates change every year.  It is a time for families to draw near, to prepare special foods, and to honor the Jewish traditions through prayers, rituals, and ancient readings.  

Happy Hanukkah!

Christmas Behavior

Instead of being a time of unusual behavior, Christmas is perhaps the only time in the year when people can obey their natural impulses and express their true sentiments without feeling self-conscious and, perhaps, foolish.  Christmas, in short, is about the only chance a man has to be himself.  ~Francis C. Farley

Our family are the people encouraging us to be fully our selves.  They are the ones who love us unconditionally and treat us with compassion.  We are blessed if these folks are our family of origin, but frequently they are not.  If we are not honored by blood relatives, then we tend to discover others who bring true value into our lives.  It is vitally important to honor the lives of all people, but not at the cost of our selves. 

Compromising our selves in order to fit in with our original families or critical others does serious harm both physically and spiritually.  Give blessings to all people and stand for personal truth allowing others to do the same. 

Integrity can be maintained by extending love to all peoples ... whatever that means to you.  It might mean a phone call extending genuine blessings rather than a visit.  We can abbreviate our visit to build peace even if momentarily.  Altering tradition by volunteering at a shelter or adopting a family can bring greater spiritual meaning into all lives concerned rather than an emotional family free for all.  

It is an illusion if we feel we have no choice.  If we secure in our minds what we want, arrange our holidays accordingly, and give permission for others to do the same, we will find freedom and joy filling our days. Focus on realistic expectations that will allow the holidays to be filled with peace, love, and creative personal expression. 

Dave Barry Christmas

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank.  People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!'  or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!' 

 "Christmas Shopping:  A Survivor's Guide"

 ~Dave Barry,

If we respect our selves as well as others, this time of year can pass more pleasantly.  The name of a holiday does not matter, but our behavior does. We all are in need of loving kindness ... a time for giving and receiving.  

A dear friend of mine shared with me, "As a therapist, I see two kinds of clients.  One client comes into session sad and depressed as he/she is all alone and has no one to share the holidays.  The other client comes into session sad and depressed as his/her life is being over run by inappropriate family invasion."   

We all to some degree have unresolved family issues and experience frustration and disappointment.  We set our selves up by chanting, "This year will be different!"  Then the holidays repeat themselves and we wonder why our families just don't 'get us'!

The holiday season is an opportunity to put into place all of the learned experiences from within the year.  When we are forced to attend gatherings and resent out grown obligations, we must stand firm in honoring our newly found boundaries with self-respect and firmness.  If we do not treat our selves with respect, why should any one else? 

During Christmas, fear can gain momentum as we are pulled out of our 'source', away from Spirit or Divine, and into materialism, disingenuous conversations, and illusions.  Like air leaking from a balloon, our spiritual center can slowly evaporate.

Each day, we must invite Divine Spirit to come into our hearts, to remain alive within us, and to radiate from our souls.  Every night, we must be thankful and grateful for all experiences in our lives. 

Coping with Christmas

What is Christmas?  It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future.  It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace. 

~Agnes M. Pahro

Holidays bring families and loved ones together, but old family patterns can release tremendous feelings of sadness and loss.  Revisited memories can stir up insecurities and re-open old wounds.

We can maintain our sense of loving kindness in spite of our emotional triggers.  Be mindful of forgiveness (not condoning inappropriate behavior), extend blessings (all people need blessings more than idle chatter),  bestow respect (this reflects our own nature rather than judgment), and maintain boundaries (regulate the time spent with people who do not encourage our chosen path).

Coping with Christmas becomes easier when we treat our selves as we would treat our friends.  If we find our selves 'out of sorts', then we need to ask, "What would I do for a friend in this situation?"  Then act accordingly.  Be nice to you!

Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas,

when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,

- not even a mouse:
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there....

  ~Clement Clarke Moore

The Christmas Season offers opportunity for creating wonderful memories and for recalling the past.  For some folks, the holidays have grown too expensive for their declining budgets or family has moved too far away not allowing loved ones to gather.  There are many reasons as to why this glorious season causes many of us emotional, physical and spiritual pain.  

As we rush around in preparation for home entertainment or for travel, we do not get enough sleep and eat many more unhealthy food items resulting in a run down feeling.  When we are tired, we are much more likely to become irritable or depressed. 

Balance must be brought into the equation.  Make sure that you are restoring your body, mind, and soul by making good choices:

Physically:  Park a little farther from the store so you can stretch your legs and breathe in fresh air.  Decide what you are going to eat prior to arriving at the restaurant.  Don't look at the menu, just order a healthy meal as chefs are very obliging.  Share your dessert.

Mentally:  Do not over personalize.  If some one is rude to you, wonder to yourself, "I wonder why they are having such a bad day.  I'll be a little nicer to them!"  By extending kindness to some one appearing to be stressed out, usually changes their persona immediately.  It's not about you! 

Spiritually:  Even when we minimize materialism during the Christmas Season, we often become distracted by holiday parties, programs, and commitments.   Every morning, quietly ask your self, "Where is my heart this Christmas Season?"  Be mindful all day long if we are role modeling our spiritual beliefs.  Throughout the day, listen for the magic that circulates in and out of our lives.  Magic is everywhere when we are willing to see Divine Spirit in every heart, in every living thing, and in every breath we take.

May we all find balance in our lives to fully experience all that is holy through giving and receiving to others, to ourselves, and to Spirit.

        

Christmas to be Unexpected ... so he says

I sometimes think we expect too much of

Christmas Day. We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and humanity of the whole year.

        As for me, I like to take my Christmas a little at a time, all through the year. And thus I drift along into the holidays--let them overtake me unexpectedly--waking up some fine morning and suddenly saying to myself: 'Why this is Christmas Day!'"

             Ray Stannard Baker, pseud. David Grayson (1870-1946), American author, journalist.

Taking Christmas a little at a time throughout the year is a wonderful suggestion, but as a grandmother, mother, and host to friends, I cannot even begin to imagine waking up some fine morning and suddenly saying to myself, "Why this is Christmas Day!"

Seriously, ... "let them take me unexpectedly" ...  as in unprepared?  Surely this was written by a man.  Who would have brought the groceries home from the grocery store ... and how many additional trips were made?  What about the baking, table setting, and polishing the silver?  When were the presents wrapped and the tree decorated?  Did any one mention Christmas cards or extra tables and chairs?  Who put the fresh linens on the bed or the decorations outside?

Geesh!  Who was this guy anyway?  Did he have a magic wand, multiple servants or a very organized, loving, and caring wife?

Of course I do understand the need to spread Christmas Spirit throughout the year.  We need to extend loving kindness every day.  What is that saying, "Be the change you want to see!" 

Christmas Candles

A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;

It makes no noise at all,

But softly gives itself away;

While quite unselfish, it grows small.

- Eva K. Logue

Early on, I loved candles.  I do not remember them in my childhood home except for special occasions or birthdays, but the candles near stained glass windows in church mesmorized me. 

In college, we were never allowed to have candles in our dorms for fire safety reasons, so my exploration into candles began when I married.  Throughout the year, my candles were ignited regularly.  One summer evening, a friend dropped by and exclaimed, "It looks like Christmas in here!  What are you celebrating?"  I love candles.

Candles bring light into a room, but they also bring light into my soul.  If I am nestled in my reading chair, I like to have a candle burning.  Sometimes when I get up of a morning, I like to light a candle in celebration of the day or of my life.  I can stare into the flame of a candle in easily get lost or suspended in time.  A flame seems to diminish the chill of the world.

And so it is Christmas, an appropriate time for candles.  We will begin to see them everywhere ... stores, church services, homes, and outside decorations.  Wherever you happen to be, I suggest you pause and focus on the flame of the candle. 

The flame of the candle can be associated with the light of Christ or the light of the world.  Watch it flicker and feel its warmth extend into your heart.  Embrace the light, welcome it into your heart.  Let it brighten your space and time on this earth.

Sacred Space

Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again.

- Joseph Campbell

Over the years, I have discussed sacred spaces with a diverse population of women.  Sacred spaces offer a place for a person to restore their spirit, discover answers, receive guidance, or simply just to 'be'.

A sacred space can be anywhere.  I have learned of some who have one chair in the corner of their home where they can feel safe and connect with what is holy to them.  Others may be more fortunate and have an entire room filled with books, music, desk with chair, and inspirational wall hangings.  There are some women who deem their entire home as sacred space.  Nature lovers may have a favorite park or a bench in their yard where they find time to be alone with the Divine no matter what the season.  Walking in the rain, sun, leaves, or snow can help focus on a sacred space within where we can celebrate our inner strengths.

Having a sacred space has everything to do with our personal faith or belief system.  It is a place we have been so frequently, we immediately slide into a contemplative mind frame, feeling safe and not distracted by surroundings. 

Many women in particular feel drawn to rituals that are not offered within the confines of their organized religion or desire to experience the sense of ritual in a more frequent and private way.  For some, lighting a candle to celebrate their life or sipping a glass of wine while listening to relaxing music or brewing a favorite tea to accompany the reading of poems and favorite writings.  Catching thoughts in a journal or randomly sketching brings us closer to our source. 

The Holidays are fast upon us with a new year approaching.  Memories of loved ones, career disappointments, neglected goals, and required tasks squeeze us with pressure.  It is important for us to have a sacred space we can visit every day even if just for a few minutes.  We need to refresh and restore.

If you do not have a sacred space, just momentarily close your eyes and visualize a space where you are safe, nourished, and can rest.  Celebrate your self and recall the goodness in others so that you can joyfully face another day.

"Fool me once ...

"Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me."

Old Proverb

Living my life with compassion, loving kindness, and an open heart is not always easy.  My down fall has always been seeing people at soul level, not as they really are in human form.  Illusions generally fall away, rendering a cost to my unsuspecting heart.

Forgiveness comes easily to me as I truly believe we are all doing the very best we can do at any given moment.  When faced with choice, we don't always make the best decisions.  Believing we are here for the human experience, of course we are going to face numerous challenges and we will not always be proud of them.

So with my open heart I forgive as I am very aware that beneath all actions resides a fellow spiritual being.  We learn through our conflicted decisions and I choose to see the forgivable/unforgivable situation as an opportunity for personal and spiritual growth.  And by forgiving I do not mean condoning. 

So this is where I get stuck.  Processing brings me this far and then I falter.  First, I struggle with the genuine disappointment that the person chose not to do better. Secondly, although I have forgiven, the heaviness of my personal loss remains.  I ask myself what the lesson was for all involved, but primarily search for the application to myself.   And lastly, I find myself dwelling on the situation rather than simply letting it go.

I accept that our perspective is frequently limited leaving us incapable of seeing the big picture.  Only as time passes do we begin to truly view how all of the pieces fit together.  With a little distance, we can turn back and see how we ignored information that could have helped minimize the entire experience. 

It is easy to sit back and count the wrongs of others as it is a distraction from listing our own.  We may even find ourselves in denial saying, "Oh, but what they did was ten times worse."  Point being, we are not the ones to judge.  We must use all of our efforts to keep our own house in order.

All people carry love, energy and light within them.  There are different ways to utilize this power:

well wishes, blessings, prayer, energy work, or meditation to name a few.   Whatever method

we use to touch the hearts of others, we must be mindful to apply it to ourselves as well.  Restoring

our inner self with the love of God, Universal energy, and light of Christ/Buddha or simply the Divine will help us heal.  Letting go of what is heavy in our heart, enables us to make room for new, moving forward hopefully a little wiser. 

The Road Less Traveled ...

Two roads diverged in a wood,

and I .......

I took the one less traveled by,

And that had made all the difference.

Robert Frost

Traveling down a darkened path, I came upon a fork in the road.  In this dream, there was also a tree plumply filled with birds as though it were a sacred symbol deliberately placed to gain my attention. I looked to the path leading to the right, and it was a well traveled straight line to my destination.  The other path was not well lighted nor was it very well groomed.  Some how I understood this path would also take me to where I wanted to be, but that it would be the long way, not the easy way.  The choice I made in the dream seemed to govern my choice of passage in real life.

We all wonder how we will be called to serve others.  It can be through teaching, social services, fire fighting, police, military as there are many areas available.  The career chosen is simply the vehicle we use to serve and we individually choose if we will serve with integrity or deception.  Frequently we are faced with the decision whether to take the easy route or the longer less defined way.

In many ways my life has been challenging, but in my heart it is very clear to me that I have best served others by taking the less traveled road.  It has offered me more opportunities to walk upon a path meeting others who have been teachers for me or those in need of who I am.

My identity ebbs and flows based upon my confidence, awareness, compassion, and connectedness to the whole, especially through nature.  When I am at my best, my energy and light touch the lives of others just by my presence.  By offering loving kindness whether through a smile or a thorough discussion, I have the choice to help someone in need. 

There is no intention for reward or recognition, but a simple hope to have cleared the way for someone else's understanding.  Perhaps I have lifted the veil to greater understanding or planted a seed that will produce food for thought.  It does not matter what profession we claim, but how we use our loving kindness to enable the 'wounded' to be brave enough to heal themselves.

Mark Nepo in THE BOOK OF AWAKENING uses the term "spiritual hospitality."  He describes this as helping kindred spirits by offering and receiving "...guidance

and comfort on the way --- without imposition, design, or thought of reward." 

By offering compassion to those who struggle, a sense of comfort is created where healing can begin to take place.  In many ways, the action of "spiritual hospitality" is like the book PAY IT FORWARD.  By experiencing loving kindness from others whom we may never have the means to repay, we extend learned compassion to those we eventually come to meet. 

I truly believe whenever we extend a helping hand, a gift is left in the palm of our own.  We must extend our hand, one to the other, rather than raising a fist or building a wall.  Allow the hand to remove the wall or to relax into a gesture of kindness. 

By joining hands, we can make a difference no matter which road we decide to travel.  We can reach out emotionally or physically, silently or actively, receiving or offering, but reach out we must.

Part of the Whole ... Albert Einstein

A human being is a part of the whole called by us

"universe," a part limited in time and space.  He

experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as

something separated from the rest ---

a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.

This delusion is a kind of prison for us,

restricting us to our personal desires and to

affection for a few persons nearest to us.

Our task must be to free ourselves from

this prison by widening our circle of

compassion to embrace all living creatures

and the whole of nature in its beauty.

Albert Einstein

It has been said when we are feeling depressed, we need to turn our attention to service of others.  By reaching outside of our own comfort zone, we release some of our own stress and bring compassion to another.

Could life really be that simple?  Rather than building our personal walls of fear to keep people out, we can open our hearts while embracing others with compassion.  Understand that personal boundaries are important, but have we carried this too far?  As a culture have we grown too isolated within our surrounding community?

By connecting with others, we begin to see and feel the spirit of each other learning diversity.  We are not all the same, but we are all worthy of love.  We all want to be heard, loved, and respected.

If we present our self by reflecting our true spirit, others have the opportunity to respond in kind.  Engagement then is readily available.  As we open our self with respect to hear a new message our compassion grows as everyone has a story. 

Granted, there are those who are difficult, who challenge us and who will not engage in loving kindness.  It would not be in our own best interest to subject our self to repeated hurtful situations;  but it is helpful to remember that there have been times in our own lives that we have been difficult as well.  Just as we do not want to be judged, others do not want to be judged either.  Silently offering forgiveness, healing and peace to those who are difficult, we then can return our attention to others wanting to experience healthier encounters.

The emphasis here is to appreciate all peoples.  We are a part of a whole that experiences pain and suffering,  joy and hope, and birth and death.  Let us look into the eyes of each other to discover the spirit residing within hidden by fear of exclusion.