Where I need to be ...

 

I may not have gone where I intended to go,

but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

Douglas Adams

The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

Babies are not born with directions for upkeep and care, so wishing to be born with a map red lining my path of life is wishful thinking!   Are we on the right road?  Which exit do we take?  Why is their a detour? How could I have run out of gas!

There are many twists and turns in life, but if we pay close attention we notice red flags or gentle nudges to be guided in a different way.  We can be certain of a particular destination until an amazing opportunity or unsuspected loss drives us in the opposite direction.

Life can be so overwhelming we may feel totally lost or alone.  We might even question if God is paying any attention.   Having a human experience, our inner spirit wanders in the darkness until it can restore itself with insight and determination to begin again.

Seldom am I ever where I thought I would be, but I have learned that it is more important to know who I am.  If I know

who I am, I know I will be where I need to be.



Wandering Down The Path Of Life ...

If we did all things

we are capable of,

we would literally

astound ourselves.

Thomas A. Edison

We have free will and so we may wander from a Divine plan, making wrong turns and false assumptions.  Eventually, life leads us back to where we belong.  We retrieve knowledge as we cycle in and out of lessons in life and hopefully try to apply what we know.

The course in life is best traveled if we have some idea of where we are wanting to go.  It is necessary to identify our dreams and desires before we set off traveling into parts unknown.  To keep balance, we also need to keep an open mind and be willing to alter our route.

As we travel, having a mentor can be pivotal and frequently the most authentic voice to listen to is the one deep inside.  By remaining connected to the Divine, life blends together in a more synchronized way.  

Sometimes the road we follow does not lead us where we thought we were going.  Did we miss a turn or take a detour?  To be aware of our attitude and actions while navigating can be the best compass we will ever need.  Consequences frequently are set into motion by our own careless actions.

We need to be well grounded in our life, to have a certain sense

of who we are and who we will serve.  If we are well balanced, connected, and grounded, we can wander anywhere and be delightfully inspired by the presentations before us. 

Hidden Silences

One of the tasks of true friendship

is to listen compassionately and 

creatively to the hidden silences. 

Often secrets are not revealed in words, 

they lie concealed in the silence 

between the words 

or in the depth of what is 

unsayable between two people. 

A BOOK OF CELTIC WISDOM 

~John O'Donohue 

Anam Cara 

No matter how diverse a circle of women, an unseen bond secures the circle. Over time, each woman in the group experiences the opportunity to articulate the silence dwelling within her heart. Even when fear holds words captive, the women offer understanding and encouragement embracing any unspoken declaration.

When we are separated from our friends, time passes, and life moves on. Then we find ourselves joyfully visiting one or all of our friends and the conversation seems to pick up right where it left off.

There is something endearing about looking into the eyes of a 'sister of the heart' and experiencing a special knowing that silently passes between you. A voiceless communication transpires securing the bond of the relationship.

In a circle of women or in the presence of a dear friend, one does not always find appropriate words. Women capable of listening with compassion to what is not being said is a greater gift than being 'silver tongued'. Even if the women do not totally understand each other, their simple presence brings comfort.

Having a place to sit with our hidden silences is priceless. When we feel totally accepted there is a restoration of spirit. We have newly found courage to move forward once again.

Get Over Your Self ...

Walk toward the door that is opening,

rather than clawing at the one

that is closing.

I HAD IT ALL THE TIME

Alan Cohen

Frequently, I have pondered the disconnect between being born with an incredible sense of my spiritual self, and then forgetting it all while becoming focused only on my physical self.  A child has wonderment, insight, and wisdom with deep appreciation for nature, only to be trapped in a materialistic world.

Alan Cohen is one of my most favorite authors.  He has written numerous books and they all seem to speak to me.   In his writing of I HAD IT ALL THE TIME, he discussed the shift from the spiritual self to the physical self in childhood.  It was all so obvious once I read his reflections and blended them with other insights.

Prior to this incarnation, we are spiritual beings with the Divine, the Universe, Spirit or whatever deity is foremost in your belief system. This spiritual being is the 'self' and a portion of this self takes form in this material existence on earth. While on earth, self plays many roles and wears a variety of masks, but behind it all, it is still the 'self'.  We are not our personalities nor are we the images projected on to others.  The self is still part of the spiritual being.

Once we have taken physical form, our language begins to reprogram who we really are, causing us to forget our spiritual identity.  Our caretakers frequently phrase comments in terms of the physical.  They might say, "What have you done to your self? Did you burn your self? Don't touch your self!"  What would have been more accurate is "What have you done to your arm or leg or body? Did you burn your hand? Don't touch your body!"  Can you sense the difference? Slowly we shift away from being a spiritual self into identifying with our physical body as self. Splitting hairs you may think, but I disagree.

"Get over your self," is a popular phrase, but it is impossible to do so.  You will always be self in the spiritual sense.  It is the ego that you need to get over. Your ego is not the self, but the many masks and projections that have been created in the physical.  It is all of the parts causing you to feel fraudulent.

Our physical bodies need to be nourished, nurtured, and cared for as they are our vehicles on this earth.  Our bodies host our spiritual self while experiencing a physical experience.   Our true self is love, energy, and light.  This is the story of old passed down through centuries and revered by many cultures. 

It may be time for you to close the door on what no longer reflects your true nature.  Turn to the opening door offering new beginnings.  Move towards the light or the sacredness that can be found in this life.  

Your true nature or your true self resides behind the life we create. Your true spiritual self is sacred loving kindness and so much more.

The Meanings of Christmas

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.     - Agnes M. Pharo


Deep in each and every one of us, we long to be heard, accepted, and loved.  As we have no control over anyone else, we must execute our own behaviors to open the hearts of others by being available to them.  Not be used, abused, or minimized, but to retrieve parts of our inner being that remain caught in the past.  As a dear mentor of mine says, "Pull our parts together."  In so doing, we become whole and better prepared to approach the life we have been meant to live.

It takes courage to be emotionally vulnerable to what has hurt us in the past.  As we face family or friends, we accept them ... their truth, their path, their choices ... without any need to 'fix' them or bring them 'around to our way of thinking."  They, too, want to be heard, accepted, and loved, but not one of us needs to forsake our selves ... our dreams, our insights, our paths ... in order to be loved.

Personally, I find silence to be a wonderful tool for this holiday season when so many unresolved differences are presented.  Silence, accompanied by sincere listening, genuine acceptance, and love, promotes a safe passage for everyone involved.  We can agree to disagree, emotionally stay in tact, and experience the true meaning of Christmas.

And what is the true meaning of Christmas?  I believe it is determined individually in many languages and with a wide range of definitions.  In the final translation, however, I believe we find these words ... hope, unconditional love, and peace.

Dave Barry Christmas

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank.  People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!'  or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!' 

 "Christmas Shopping:  A Survivor's Guide"

 ~Dave Barry,

If we respect our selves as well as others, this time of year can pass more pleasantly.  The name of a holiday does not matter, but our behavior does. We all are in need of loving kindness ... a time for giving and receiving.  

A dear friend of mine shared with me, "As a therapist, I see two kinds of clients.  One client comes into session sad and depressed as he/she is all alone and has no one to share the holidays.  The other client comes into session sad and depressed as his/her life is being over run by inappropriate family invasion."   

We all to some degree have unresolved family issues and experience frustration and disappointment.  We set our selves up by chanting, "This year will be different!"  Then the holidays repeat themselves and we wonder why our families just don't 'get us'!

The holiday season is an opportunity to put into place all of the learned experiences from within the year.  When we are forced to attend gatherings and resent out grown obligations, we must stand firm in honoring our newly found boundaries with self-respect and firmness.  If we do not treat our selves with respect, why should any one else? 

During Christmas, fear can gain momentum as we are pulled out of our 'source', away from Spirit or Divine, and into materialism, disingenuous conversations, and illusions.  Like air leaking from a balloon, our spiritual center can slowly evaporate.

Each day, we must invite Divine Spirit to come into our hearts, to remain alive within us, and to radiate from our souls.  Every night, we must be thankful and grateful for all experiences in our lives. 

Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas,

when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,

- not even a mouse:
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there....

  ~Clement Clarke Moore

The Christmas Season offers opportunity for creating wonderful memories and for recalling the past.  For some folks, the holidays have grown too expensive for their declining budgets or family has moved too far away not allowing loved ones to gather.  There are many reasons as to why this glorious season causes many of us emotional, physical and spiritual pain.  

As we rush around in preparation for home entertainment or for travel, we do not get enough sleep and eat many more unhealthy food items resulting in a run down feeling.  When we are tired, we are much more likely to become irritable or depressed. 

Balance must be brought into the equation.  Make sure that you are restoring your body, mind, and soul by making good choices:

Physically:  Park a little farther from the store so you can stretch your legs and breathe in fresh air.  Decide what you are going to eat prior to arriving at the restaurant.  Don't look at the menu, just order a healthy meal as chefs are very obliging.  Share your dessert.

Mentally:  Do not over personalize.  If some one is rude to you, wonder to yourself, "I wonder why they are having such a bad day.  I'll be a little nicer to them!"  By extending kindness to some one appearing to be stressed out, usually changes their persona immediately.  It's not about you! 

Spiritually:  Even when we minimize materialism during the Christmas Season, we often become distracted by holiday parties, programs, and commitments.   Every morning, quietly ask your self, "Where is my heart this Christmas Season?"  Be mindful all day long if we are role modeling our spiritual beliefs.  Throughout the day, listen for the magic that circulates in and out of our lives.  Magic is everywhere when we are willing to see Divine Spirit in every heart, in every living thing, and in every breath we take.

May we all find balance in our lives to fully experience all that is holy through giving and receiving to others, to ourselves, and to Spirit.

        

Autumn by Rainer Maria Rilke

 

                                                      The leaves are falling, falling as if from far up,
                                                as if orchards were dying high in space.                            
                                                Each leaf falls as if it were motioning "no."

                                               And tonight the heavy earth is falling
                                               away from all other stars in the loneliness.

                                               We're all falling. This hand here is falling.
                                              And look at the other one. It's in them all.

                                              And yet there is Someone, whose hands
                                              infinitely calm, holding up all this falling.
                                       
                                        Rainer Maria Rilke 

  Ah, the blissful comfort

                                              of being safely cradled

in Somone's hands.

(This poem was sent to me by a young woman who teaches me through her old soul eyes of innocence, her yearning for answers with a questioning heart, and her euphoric laughter.  Her joyful spirit is sacred company on my too often lonely path.)

Food for Thought ...

We cannot hold a torch

to light another's path

without brightening

our own.

Mohammed

The grocery store was quite empty this morning as I went much earlier than usual.  I always go to the same store so I am familiar with some of the folks working there.

The young man unloading my shopping cart takes his job seriously and always has a great smile.  He seems to be joyful while helping others in any manner he can.

The gentleman checking out my groceries casually asks if I had a good Thanksgiving.  "Oh yes," I reply.  "Friends, great food, and beautiful weather all made for a wonderful day."  He tells me that he is married, has 3 adult children, and multiple grandchildren.  "Where does the time go?" he asks.  I assume that he is retired, working another job to generate more income or to stay busy. 

In the few minutes that follow, the three of us (the checker, the bagger, and myself) each share comments regarding time passing so quickly.  The checker says the bible tells us that both time and our life on earth is but a vapor.  The bagger says when he was younger, time passed so slowly.  My comments reflect the elasticity of time, expanding and contracting, but never feeling my age. 

Then the checker begins to speak of our lives here on earth, how we forget that our real destination is heaven.  The bagger mentions his father who passed away two years ago, and how he keeps his memory alive until he sees him face to face once more when he, too, passes.  I suddenly feel too emotional to speak.

There is a slight pause before I turn to leave the check out

aisle.  The three of us are looking each other in the eyes, saying nothing, but emotion is hanging in the air.  I feel loving kindness being emitted from both of them, so much so, tears begin to seep out of my eyes.

As I walk to my car, I continue to reflect on this strange grocery store encounter.  This unusual exchange seems like a wrinkle in time, leaving me with plenty of food for thought.

"Either you be or you don't be."

... unplugged ...

                 

To be or not to be

is not the question of compromise.

Either you be or

you don't be.

Golda Meir

Mercury in retrograde, end of Mayan calendar, global warming, and religious warnings are just a few areas of current concern.  We must be cognisant of the many shifts going on around us, but do we really need to be fear based?  Seriously, there is so much information being misunderstood, misinterpreted, and misrepresented, the negativity can be overwhelming.

If I were not rooted in my spiritual beliefs, I would be blown away by the negativity and/or violence in the newspapers, television and other forms of media.  Darkness, doubt and fear multiply in the hearts of many.

I just need to be unplugged.  Quiet time can be filled with yoga, meditation, and ancient transcripts.  Walking in the park will engage me with a positive connection to the outside world.  Listening to music will certainly soothe my frayed soul before I settle into rest.

                "Either you be or you don't be." 



Simplicity, Patience and Compassion

I have just three things to teach:

simplicity, patience, compassion.

These are your greatest treasures.

Compassionate toward yourself,

you reconcile all beings in the world.

Lao-Tzu

Life gets pretty complicated sometimes.  Unresolved issues and uncontrolled emotions spike up the drama in any situation.  If we try to keep things simple, life unfolds not only more naturally, but more meaningful.

Emotions and issues get in the way of our basic love, honor, and respect for each other.  While someone is being rude to us, instead of directing anger towards them, we can extend compassion for we do not know the burdens they are carrying.  We don't need to accept or condone their actions, but if we can mentally extend loving kindness to them, it just might be a turning point in their day. 

Simplicity and compassion requires patience.  We decide to embrace the world as our brothers and sisters, but we will find ourselves immediately tested by the harshness in the world.  At times we can feel like the only spiritual warrior on the playing field.  Maintaining patience, keeping things simple, and extending compassion we will begin to notice a more peaceful nature to our own lives.

"Be the change you want to see," is a beautiful quote and very much to the point.  We must start with ourselves, our own community, and surrounding environment.  When we begin with ourselves, simple, patient, and compassionate, we are role modeling to others.  We can begin a small ripple that just might turn into a wave that could bring cleansing or healing to faces you will never see. 

We are all in this together.  We each play an independent part, but we are all connected.  We can begin together to make this world a peaceful place to be. 

Restoring the Spirit

True silence is the rest of the mind;

it is to the spirit

what sleep is to the body,

nourishment and refreshment.

William Penn

Last night, I woke up feeling like I had slept for ten hours, but glancing at the clock by my bed, I realized I had only slept for a few hours.  Wide awake, I got up, slipped on my robe and found my way to my favorite chair.  I lit a candle and stared at the flickering light. I lost myself by mentally slipping into the flame.

Memories from the day and any thoughts for a new agenda simply slid away.   I felt only peace and calm as I tried to work with my breath, breathing in calm and then exhaling stress.  Slowly, I felt like I was suspended, just 'being' in the moment.

My physical self seemed to fall away and in my mind, I wandered in the silence.  Soothing colors gently surrounded me and I was caressed by all that might comfort me.  I seemed to be restored through the presence of endless love.  There was no sense of time and eventually, I found myself awake.  I was sitting in my chair with the candle still flickering.

I blew out the candle and wandered back to bed, knowing that I would sleep well.  I felt as though my spirit had been deeply connected with all there is and all there ever will be.   

There are no means that I have found to adequately describe this time and space.   Every day words like solitude or dream simply do not encompass the depth of such an experience.   Meditation or contemplation is known to be a wonderful place for training the mind to be still and to experience suspension of time.  I have found that any technique in stilling the mind can lead to an open passage way to restoring the spirit.