The Meanings of Christmas

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.     - Agnes M. Pharo


Deep in each and every one of us, we long to be heard, accepted, and loved.  As we have no control over anyone else, we must execute our own behaviors to open the hearts of others by being available to them.  Not be used, abused, or minimized, but to retrieve parts of our inner being that remain caught in the past.  As a dear mentor of mine says, "Pull our parts together."  In so doing, we become whole and better prepared to approach the life we have been meant to live.

It takes courage to be emotionally vulnerable to what has hurt us in the past.  As we face family or friends, we accept them ... their truth, their path, their choices ... without any need to 'fix' them or bring them 'around to our way of thinking."  They, too, want to be heard, accepted, and loved, but not one of us needs to forsake our selves ... our dreams, our insights, our paths ... in order to be loved.

Personally, I find silence to be a wonderful tool for this holiday season when so many unresolved differences are presented.  Silence, accompanied by sincere listening, genuine acceptance, and love, promotes a safe passage for everyone involved.  We can agree to disagree, emotionally stay in tact, and experience the true meaning of Christmas.

And what is the true meaning of Christmas?  I believe it is determined individually in many languages and with a wide range of definitions.  In the final translation, however, I believe we find these words ... hope, unconditional love, and peace.

Complaint Department

"who will take the blame?" she asked.

"nobody," he answered,

"it is too much to carry.

leave it behind and

let the wind take it.

we have places to go."

                                                         BLAME

terri st cloud

Bone Sigh Arts

 When we got in trouble as children, we learned to point the finger at someone else to take the pressure off of ourselves.  If we could successfully blame another person for our own actions, the sense of relief was so great, it temporarily overcame any feelings of guilt.

It doesn't matter how old you are, we are all tempted to blame.  It appears to be the easy way out, but in the long run, it can generate more damage than when it first began.  We have grown so comfortable with blaming others, complaint departments can be found most anywhere.  Perhaps if we complain loud and long enough, we can distract ourselves and others from honest and truthful solutions.

In most conflicts, there are at least two people.  Each person plays a particular part in the disagreement.  One person may be 97% responsible for the discord, but the individual with the 3% responsibility must me held accountable as well. 

If the only person we can truly change is our self, we must look within for resolution.  We must decide what part we play, no matter how great or how small.  We must own our behaviors and learn from the consequences.  Even if we are the 3% participant, we must correct our part in the drama or else we will repeat it again.

What part did I play?

What was my intention?

When did I begin to ignore the default?

Where could I have done things differently?

Complaining serves no purpose, but to drive each other farther a part.  Yes, we each have voice and we must use it, but it is to be used in a healthier, more positive way. 

Shame, blame, complain are all components in a game of deceiving ourselves as well as others.  Forgiveness, compassion, and healing all lead to higher ground.