Navigation of the Spiral Cycle

"When I dare to be powerful - 

to use my strength in the service of my vision,

then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid."

Audre Lorde

We may long for empowerment, asking questions and listening for answers.  We might even begin to awaken into a deeper awareness of purpose or meaning.  If we do not, however, leave fear at the door of opportunity, we can backslide down the spiral cycle.

The spiral cycle spins us from uncertainty to vision; from vision to action; and from action to manifestation.  Unfortunately, the spinning can be so accelerated, one can spin right out of the cycle into overwhelm.  Overwhelm then delivers into withdrawal where we are then lead to depression.  

For numerous reasons, we find ourselves beginning again and again.  As we navigate just a little farther each time,  we begin to recognize old road signs marking our progress.  It is not known if we are traveling towards our hidden longings or veering away from the place of knowing.   

We eventually discover our passage leading inward.  We find guidance in the silent whisper, leading us to exactly where we need to be.  As we service our vision, empowerment slowly unfolds.  Without fear, the spiral cycle gently unfolds.  

Reflection of True Nature

"Be an example ...

Show kindness to unkind people.

Forgive people who don't deserve it.

Love unconditionally.

Your actions always reflect who you are."

SIMPLE REMINDERS.COM

Forgiveness seems to bring a deliberate ending to a relationship or a healing to a situation.   This doesn't mean we accept or condone whoever or whatever needing absolution.  It simply brings closure for us and offers the offender opportunity to become accountable for what had transpired.

There are those who thrive on conflict and drama.  They continuously invest energy into scenarios unlikely to change.  The essence shifts from being offended to who will win.  No one wins.  Everyone involved continues to suffer.  

Minor slights or unintended damage occurs that are easily addressed and dismissed.  Deep forgiveness, however, is needed for damage impacting our body, mind, and spirit.  Without mercy, our emotions are doubled.  Instead of using all of our energy to heal, it becomes splintered between ourselves and the offender, and allows the suffering to continue to grow.  Our own behavior  can become just as damaging or worse.

Peace will not visit us until we are ready to let go.  When we reach a point where we are able to release the past, to place focus upon goodness, and move forward, judgment has been replaced by forgiveness.  We will continue to be a reflection of our true nature.

A Whisper In The Night

"You are a child of the universe

no less that the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here."

Max Ehrmann

Would we have less child abuse if like pillows, we arrived with a safety tag securely stitched into our side?  If we arrived with a message like handle with care, or wash gently, or do not expose to high heat, would we have less child abuse and enhanced childhoods?

Answering my own question, I would say, probably not.  The thoughtless care givers who choose to abuse would not be deterred by any label of care.  Neglected little ones barely see sheltering trees or stars of hope.  They are too busy trying to be invisible or at least minimize personal presence.  They avoid attention out of fear.  Unfortunately, these immature minds are not equipped to realize they have done no wrong.  They willing accept the word of the predator that they are somehow damaged and unworthy. Shame binds them completely onto themselves as unworthy.

There are exceptions, but unfortunately the majority of us are full grown before we realize any sense of entitlement to this earth.  By the time we turn to nature for comfort or some sense of connection, our barriers are erected high and self-loathing is tucked inside.  How dearly it would be to hear the sound of a whisper in the night, "You have a right to be here!"

Reaching Out

"It may be that the ability to know the necessity for help; to know how to look for that help

and then most importantly, how to ask for it, is one of the primary transformative dynamics

that allow us to emancipate ourselves into each new epoch of our lives."

David Whyte

CONSOLATIONS

There is sadness in the fact we tend to minimize our difficulties and allow thoughts of shame to bind us.  We neglect to remember every human being experiencing life in this moment is also struggles with challenges.  What we hide from others is often clearly demonstrated in our mannerisms, attitudes, and choices. 

Do we choose a confidant we see every day or will that in time feel like pressure?  There may be a person of respect or a mentor who would listen without judgment.  Professional help may be well worth the investment.  The importance is to make a decision and follow through.

Either secure an appointment, invite an elder to coffee, or engage a friend to walk.  In this way, the intention of being together is deliberate.  Although it may seem awkward at first, once we delve into the subject, the situation becomes easier.  If we have chosen a compassionate witness, we will feel the binds of shame lessen.  We will begin to feel the tension and stress slowly slip away.  Be clear with them as to what  is needed. Assure the other person to either just listen, to engage in a constructive discussion, or share insights.  Guidelines are important and we need to set our boundaries.

We don't always want someone to solve our dilemma.   What someone else has experienced emotionally or physically in the exact same situation will not necessarily be equalled to our own.  We are unique and react differently.  The act of reaching out is a healthy step leading to further disclosure and eventual resolution to our problem.

A Beacon of Light

"In wisdom be a lamp,

a light unto yourself."

Jack Kornfield

When we feel intimately connected to the Divine or the Universe, we shine like a light.  It is with this light we turn into our personal darkness to eliminate hidden fears or extract sadness from the past.  As we bring light into our darkness, our vision increases enabling us to see beyond the illusion of fear.  Our confidence increases and we link our lessons together, noting the triggers of numerous behaviors.

New understanding generates compassion for ourselves which increases the ability to finally forgive and move forward.  To participate in a personal journey, we become empowered; more comfortable in our own body, mind, and spirit; and inclined to pursue more healing adventures.  

Darkness will never completely go away, so it is for us to accept it.  When we maintain our radiant light, we see better into our hidden spots without fear.  We treasure the feelings of intimacy and healing, as they teach us to become a beacon of light to ourselves as well as to others. 

Truth Changes

  "Truth is a seed hidden

in the days until watered 

by our experience."

Mark Nepo

THE ENDLESS PRACTICE

Truth resides in all of us whether it is our biased opinion or documented fact.  Said knowledge lingers in our being not fully understood until it is put into practice.  We may assume a certainty means a particular thing, but it is not until we experience it that authenticity comes alive.  When we finally add feeling to truth, it becomes a full experience.

It is not until we have walked through a situation that our understanding deepens.  Experience triggers our definition of what we know to be true; and, in addition, welcomes all of our senses to be heightened.  Our original definition of truth comes alive with layers of meaning.   

When our emotions begin to flow, our tears water the initial seed of truth.  Facts begin to stretch and grow, taking on greater definition. The physical touch adds a layer of comfort or increased fear,  just as the sense of smell will always be present in our recall.  If there was smoke or lots of flowers or heavy cologne or propane,  it too will be trapped in what we remember to be true.

After we have lived through what we hold as our truth, we can choose to be bitter or thankful or compassionate.  We once again create our new understanding of truth, until life brings it back to us once again.   Truth continues to change according to the stories we tell our lovely selves, while additional experience may generate new meaning.  Truth resides in the context of our understanding.

Haunting Sense

"If you're not haunted by something,

as by a dream, a vision, or a memory,

which are involuntary,

you're not interested or even involved."

Jack Kerouac

Book of Sketches

There are dirty dishes in the sink waiting to be washed and laundry wrinkling in the dryer.  The vacuum sits in the middle of the hallway as I search for the dust cloth and spray.  While my body moves in automatic animation, my mind becomes alert to some element of distraction.  

Confused, I tell myself to stay on task, but with each movement, there is an atmosphere building around me filled with emotion.  As I work, I listen for noises, but hear nothing.  I stop what I am doing and check the locks on the doors.  I laugh out loud at the extent I go to simply postpone my chores.

As I continue to deal with housework, I grow even more aware of tension growing within me.  Intuition kicks into high gear as I try to identify what I am exactly sensing.  Then I realize it is not what, but whom?  There is a presence, but one that is not fearful.

It does not take me long to recognize his energy, even though he has passed over numerous years ago.  I do not have to physically see him to know he is with me.  I don't catch a whiff of his old cologne nor do I hear his amazing voice, but,  I do feel his big brown eyes scanning over me.  

In confusion, I stop what I am doing.  My heightened senses strain to gather every sound and noise, but it is clear, at least to me, he is not in  human form.  He is simply visiting my heart and mind, this old companion of mine and he means me no harm.  Just those sad brown eyes searching all over me to be assured I am okay.  

Quietly inside my heart, I thank him for all of the joy he brought to my family, all of the fun and laughter.  I ask his forgiveness for any pain I had caused him deliberately or innocently.  My eyes fill with tears as I slowly realize his presence is once again gone.

Bleeding Hearts

"Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him,

and then choose that way with all his strength."

Hasidic Saying

The flowers,  Bleeding Hearts, come early spring.   I anxiously await for the heart shaped buds to take delicate form, before they burst into full bloom.  There is something inspiring about these dainty hearts,  strung together, all dangling from one spindly branch.  They are vulnerable to spring storms, but unafraid, they gracefully display kindliness in my sight.

In comparison, my heart has never been as vulnerable nor as exposed.  I wouldn't consider myself to be a 'bleeding heart', but I do admit to being exceptionally sensitive.  On occasion, heart centered clusters have been a safe haven for me, but I have a tendency to keep my heart tightly wrapped, protected from all seasons of life.

There is both joy and pain to be learned from an open heart, but a closed heart will wither and die.
There is a quote about allowing our hearts to be repeatedly broken until they remain open forever.  It is with an open heart we welcome others in spite of the risk we take.  Compassion for others is what allows our hearts to burst from a small bud into full bloom.

What Awaits

I CHOOSE ...

to live by choice, not be chance.

To make changes, not excuses.

To be motivated, not manipulated.

To be useful, not used.

To excel, not compete.

I choose self-esteem, not self-pity.

I choose to listen to my inner voice.

Not the random opinion of others.

Charles Glassman

MD.com

We can view our options, as poor as they may be, and gently move forward or we can remain paralyzed as a victim.  Life needs to be lived deliberately and for this we must be motivated or else life just happens to us and not with us.  Everyone can think up an excuse, but our energy is better used creating positive action.  

On the outside, it may appear easier to allow someone else to use us for their profit, but in the long run, we will be the one to lose.  There is no competition when we depend upon our authentic self, using our unique set of tools.  We can wish others, "Godspeed," while we push on towards our personal goal.  

Any steps moving us forward builds our self-esteem.  We feel empowered when we lift our own hand to help ourselves.  Once the confusion and sense of overwhelm has settled, we can concentrate on what our next steps might be.  We open ourselves to directions that seem to resonate within our heart.  

We can listen to what others say, picking out what sincerely applies to us, and discarding what does not.  We can always learn through another person's input, but there is no need to allow others to beat us down.

Breathe in the surrounding beauty.  Develop an appreciation for the goodness we have no matter how small.  Be thankful for a new beginning and with gratitude, be curious with what awaits.

Curiosity Opens Us

"Replace fear of the unknown

with curiosity."

The Elephant Journal

When life does not unfold as we anticipate, fear easily steps in and clouds the view.  Not being able to see where we are headed can undo the best of us.  We can substitute fear with curiosity and boldly step through the illusion.  The sense of excitement pulls us further into the unknown adventure and does far less damage than the halting experience of fear.

We are not in control of our lives no matter how intricate our plan.  When establishing our goals, we must add to the equation: "This or something better."  In doing so, we allow for the Universe to provide us with the best case scenario which often appears as a detour.  When we find we are traveling on an unchartered path, it does not necessarily mean we are lost.  We may have been gently nudged into a direction best meeting our needs.  

Discarding the mind set of 'right or wrong", our curiosity opens us to a larger perspective.  There are many overlooked options when our focus is too narrow.  The original viewpoint may produce a mediocre result whereas, a grander vision may lead to a more satisfying success.

There are those who hide visions from others, fearing exposure and leading to smallness.  More confidant individuals turn to others saying, "Just out of curiosity, what do you think of this?" This situation can turn into brainstorming and additional support.  Curiosity can lead us to a higher level of  understanding and production.

A Picture Perfect Day

Listen to the wind,

it talks. Listen to the

silence, it speaks.

Listen to your heart,

it knows.

Native American Proverb

For no apparent reason, a perfect day is sliding off a sunny foundation.  In spite of our early morning motivation to explore a day of happiness and joy, we become aware of goodness draining from our heart.   Our mood is altered and our energy has disappeared.  We do not understand why the heavens are not supporting our intention.  In our hand, we sadly crumple the list for the nursery bulbss and plants; pottery from the sale barn; and fresh mulch from the hardware store.

We asked the heavens for a day of happiness and joy and perhaps the heavens are trying to give us this very thing, only it may arrive in a different packaging.   If we  allow ourselves to give up control, and permit the day to unfold, we will be bathed with elements of  happiness and joy, as our heart is filled with love.  Unfortunately, without thinking, we rudely respond to what is being offered without allowing time for the plan to develop.

The door bell rings and a friend is at the door, "Oh good," she says, "I was afraid you wouldn't be home!"  She gifts you with bulbs and flowers from her prize winning garden.  As we walk to her car, we notice a yard sale a few houses down.

Our interest is peaked and so we wander into the neighbors yard finding a few perfect pieces of pottery that are too heavy for the elderly couple to move.  We skip home for some cash and return with a wagon and big smile like a child on an adventure.  We run into the mailman upon returning to the house, and he is laughing.  "This must be your lucky day!" he says.  He hands her a flier from the hardware store with a coupon for mulch.

We now sit on our back steps with freshly brewed tea marveling at the perfection of God's given day.  We feel a breeze rustling our hair, sunshine warming our face, and intimate connection with all living things.  We feel blessed by the artistic brush strokes God intimately applies on our canvass making a picture perfect day!

Hood-Winked Into A Lesser Role

"To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best

to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you 

are ever going to fight.  Never stop fighting."

e. e. cummings

Life is not meant to be a battle, but we are most definitely challenged.  The act of creating who we truly are is the most on going revelation we ever experience.  Hopefully, we face our growth with a sense of learning and compassion, and not with an attitude of fighting a war.  What comes our way may be harsh, but we do not have to respond with violence and revenge.  

We are tempted in our personal,  professional, and spiritual lives to help us become more compassionate and loving, not to stroke fires nor kindle battles.  Every day we are faced with choices, and in each moment we decide how to be.  Will we please others at the expense of personal growth or will we risk judgment by remaining who strive to be?  

It is healthier to have the disposition of welcoming change with love rather than with the stance of a warrior.  Seldom do we have control over the situation, but we always have choice in how we respond.  Do we want to build on our self-respect or will we be hood-winked into a lesser role? 

As life unfolds, it is a good idea to look at ourselves in a mirror.  Are we who we think we are, or are we just telling ourselves a story?  The reflection of self displays what we are projecting out into the world.   Does it match what we are creating inside?  Can we step through our fears and trust life to unfold teaching us an experiential lesson?  When we believe we are walking the path of the Divine, guided by our soul, we will reflect exactly who we are meant to be.

Three Scrambled Realities

"You can close your eyes to reality

but not to memories."

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

Three differing realities surround me.  My senses are bombarded by extreme emotions, actions, and conversations.  One woman is sharing her present life, except everything is a collective hodgepodge of memories.  Another woman is crying, begging to be sitting at a table and inquiring what she had done wrong.  She mournfully shouts, "I am so sorry.  So sorry!"   Still another, dressed in a short hospital gown with legs splayed, pleasures herself.  With an open heart, I am bombarded by the realities of these three elderly women.  They are physically in the same time zone, but their distorted realities are anywhere, but the present.  

Mark Nepo, who I greatly admire, asks us to live in the moment, letting go of the past and thoughts of the future.  I observe these ladies and speculate what their immediate moment might be.  The first woman doesn't seem to be able to recognize the present moment and so she fills it with random pieces of her past.  Her present moment will not support her as it is too lonely.  The second woman is begging for acceptance and forgiveness, but the catalyst seems to originate years in the past.  Her present is stuck in an earlier event of shame and criticism.  And the last woman, her masturbation surely soothes her beyond the present.

David Whyte implies our memories are like waves always washing over us.  He says they are an important part of us, enriches us.  Yet, the waves washing over the non-stop verbiage of the first woman does not seem to be enhancing her at all.  Confused, she is doubtful of others motives and paranoid of the strangers around her.  (I am one of those unidentified strangers, as she no longer remembers me.)  The women needing forgiveness is definitely experiencing waves of memories, but hers are not pleasant either.  The last woman, of course, is still humming to her heart's delight and I have no way of knowing if she is reliving a sexual memory or creating a new reality for herself.

To remain in this entangled wrinkle of time, I ground myself for a short reprieve.  My senses, however, are only assaulted more strongly by sounds carried down the long hallway, with more women entering the sad and darkened room.  The volume is on high while the television broadcasts THE GOLDEN GIRLS.  This seems inappropriate creating a contrast so great, my visit is forced to come to an end.  

I walk slowly to my car both disheartened and discouraged.  The haunting eyes and hollow bodies seem to be following me.  I gently close my eyes, only to find waves of these three scrambled realities washing over me.

Right Before Our Eyes

 "Wakefulness is not a destination

but a song the human heart keeps singing,

the way the birds keep singing at the first sign of light."

Mark Nepo

Conversations about being awake are common.  Actually, we are all awake, but not paying attention to the vast amount of information surrounding us inside and out.  If we were to access the information intimately available, we would become more like the person we were born to be.

Our desires are often overridden by criticism by our ego or other negative tapes that play in our head. We may stumble across a life changing idea, but our fear of failure or our fear of appearing foolish to others, scurries our insight right out of our head.

We have outgrown many of our automatic responses that once intended to keep us safe.  They may have worked at the time, but they are no longer necessary.  The outdated pattern is not an appropriate reaction to the present.

If we grew up poor, we may have been vigilant about spending money.  We might have worked two jobs while attending school just to keep afloat.  It was difficult to live month to month, but there was a sense of pride for paying the bills.  We may have developed rigid practices to keep us financially safe.  Time passes and although we may not be rich, we are leading a comfortable life with the same mindset of rigidity in fear of financial failure.

When we are awake, we are able to create a better balance in our lives.  In each moment, we decide what is best without the influence of past experiences.  If our hearts remain open and our actions are  cushioned with compassion, each moment has its gift.  When we race into future scenarios or get stuck in the emotional heaviness of the past, we miss the gift right before our eyes.

 

Willingness To Be Small

"Thinking will not overcome fear,

but action will."

W. Clement Stone

Fifty years ago, Sir Anthony Hopkins was a musician and composed a waltz.  He believed it was not good enough, ceased being a musician, and pursued a very successful career in acting.  Today, I watched and listened to the first time his waltz was played.  Dutch violinist, Andre Rieu performed the waltz with the assistance of an orchestra.  The fifty year old waltz was mesmerizing!

This does make me wonder how many masters have given up, believing they are not worthy.  Undoubtedly, there are manuscripts, recorded music, and spiritual journals sitting in total disregard based upon our willingness to be small. 

In our lives, we choose to be invisible rather than to step through the illusion of fear.  This robs us from creative expression, joy, and completion.  Our gifts remain hidden which is a terrible thing not only for the individual, but the world at large as well.

We all have a talent to contribute no matter how great or small it may be.  When each of us offer what we create, it joins earthly abundance and perpetuates joy.  It is a sad lament to hear a dying elder state:  "I wish I had ...!"  Whether it is leaving a message,  sharing a family heirloom, or creative ability, we can extend our presence beyond our physical death.

Most of us will not be a master of a waltz, but we do possess an authentic part of our lovely self, needing some form of expression.  Even if we minimize what we offer, it may become a special keepsake to someone else.  It is amazing to discover we are not invisible after all!

Keep This Part Alive

"You may be whatever you resolve to be.

Determine to be something in the world 

and you will be something.  'I cannot,'

never accomplished anything; 'I will try,'

has wrought wonders."

J. Hawes

We all have a wild side providing energy to pursue and obtain our dreams.  The wild part of self must not control us, but it doesn't need to be put to sleep either.  We can acknowledge the less tamed parts without need to integrate or to act upon.  It is not possible to totally integrate every aspect of our inner core.  Accepting our rough edges is embracing our imperfection.

To use this approach, we can eliminate constant criticism and the sense of repressing passion.  This is not about hiding parts of self from others or acting on shallow impulses.  When we create an awareness of our conflicted qualities, and use compassion, we create a partnership instead of a harsh inner dialogue.

There is a story about a gifted violinist who was not making enough money to support his family, so he quit and became a postal worker, never picking up the violin ever again.  Discernment is the key.  What action can we take to  provide recognition and a created plan?  The idea is to form a balance or a partnership.  Become a postal worker, but continue sharing a gift privately or an occasional public performance.  To have repressed his gift, the violinist must have had a great sense of loss, frustration and  resentment.

Love to write, but cannot do it professionally?  Write on lunch hours, weekends, or when time allows; and then gather all pieces together when schedules change or retirement arrives.  Love to sing, but a career in finances does not offer this opportunity?  Don't give up.  Volunteer at a nursing home, a school, or sing in a church choir.  Give singing lessons to keep this part alive. Try to find a way.

We will be healthier if we do not shut down our dreams.  We will experience more happiness when we can live in harmony blending our passions and dreams.  Just try!  Don't give up before starting.  Our resilience will drive us until we can decipher a plan allowing recognition for all parts of the self.

Heart Soars

"Creating anything is a

messy business!"

Nancy Long

In the beginning of the process of creating, things can be pretty messy.  Whether gardening, artistic expression, or exercising, the preparation may be overwhelming.  When we remember it is a process and break the tasks down into increments, we can experience a sense of progression along the way.  While baking, sewing, or landscaping, making a mess comes first.  Only after the grunt work, our joy and passion begins to unfold.  

In the midst of our projects, we may get stuck and wonder how we have made such a mess of things.  If we regroup, we can begin again.  We can get lost in our submersion to our glory, but we might also stray from the original vision.  The artist in us decides when straying is beneficial and pushes through to a new level or realizes the need to pull back onto course.

Creating as an artistic venture is never easy.  We must leave ourselves open to options without losing  our authentic dream.  We discern between what is improvement or distraction.  When the spirit is totally absorbed in the expression, and we are spot on, our heart soars! 

Getting Out of Dodge

"Sometimes running away

means you're headed in the

exact right direction."

Alice Hoffman

We can turn to addiction to temporarily remove our selves from pain, hold firm to denial, insist on resistance or get out of dodge!  Impulsive running as an avoidance and is never an answer to our dismay; however, to take a little jaunt might not be a bad idea.  Escaping for coffee with a friend, a walk in the park, or an affordable shopping spree can be a positive act of nurturing.

To run away physically or emotionally is not a healthy decision, but to create a break in time is sometimes necessary.  As a dedicated parent or a focused career person, we forget to temporarily step away.  The act to remove ourselves from a situation can offer us a reprieve.  It creates a space to break our concentration and in return we see things anew.  Our moods can shift, our attitudes can lift, and our vision can become more creative.  In this sense, running means we are headed in a positive direction.

If we are overburdened by emotion stemming from unresolved problems, running is not the right direction.  We must gather our strength and use it for courage to seek healthy outcomes.  Running away simply means we are carrying our problems with us; and therefore, the same issues will surface in our new environment.  Intervention is needed.

In other scenarios more extreme, such as domestic violence or corrupt work place, the act of running may be a necessary risk.  We must create the strength for a purposeful exit.  It may take courage and planning, but it may be the best choice.  In these extremes, reaching out to a professional, trusted friend, or community resource, will help us to provide a safe plan of action.  To ensure personal safety or the safety of others, using resources and following a created plan is necessary.

When we find ourselves falling out of control, we can use our energy for the positive.  We can acknowledge our fear and step through the illusion of helplessness.  Calmly make a list of options.  Explore the options.  There is no shame in reaching out to those who can help us.  Getting out of dodge is not the answer!

Pockets of Prayer

"The time of business does not with me differ from the time of prayer, and in the noise and clatter of my kitchen, while several persons are at the same time calling for different things, I possess God in as great tranquility as if I were upon my knees at the blessed sacrament."  Brother Lawrence

Even when successful in eliminating the negative mind chatter, it is often replaced by nonsensical thoughts. Quieting the mind can be a monumental task.  Through meditation one learns the ability to be still and with mindfulness, this experience can be stretched into the chaos of the day.  When we become aware of surrounding drama, we can bring our meditative experience into the moment.  If we tune out of our environment, and tune in to stillness, we will remain calm.  Of course we do not want to completely extract our selves from the human experience, but there are times when we can afford to distance our minds from the surrounding noise.

This can be thought of as pockets of prayer.  Rather than becoming judgmental about the chatter of others, we can slip into prayer or conversation with the Divine.  We can remain aligned and be purposeful at the same moment.  With our mind's eye, we can be extending light and love out into the world or to those specifically who are in need, rather than engaging in gossip or criticism of others.

In The Garden, A Rose

"In my garden of motherhood, I grew four seeds.  One sprouted tall, and was caught by high winds.  Another raised himself slowly, and endured the challenges of nature.  The third dug into the earth with deep roots that would nurture his growth.  The last was the most fragrant in the garden, a Rose."

Virginia's Voice
www.blogspot.com


Thirty-five years ago, I added a daughter to my collection of three sons.  She was born on Mother's Day and has been a gift every second of each day.  She was protected by her brothers and loved by her father, but she and I shared an invisible bond.  Our connection deepened through conversation, solitude, and compassion throughout the years to come.

There was plenty of confidence while raising the boys, but I learned how to raise my daughter as she grew.  I learned from her lessons I should have learned at my own mother's and father's knee.  As delicate as she was, her seldom shown prickliness would catch others by surprise.  She rarely used her thorns, but they brought balance to her developing core.

As my lovely Rose unfolded, each of her petal's displayed a gift lined with insight, courage, and compassion.  There came a time she was called from my garden leaving only her fragrance behind. She nurtured herself by the sun and connected with the earth beneath her feet.  She welcomed the cleansing of the  rains and played in the blowing snow.  She always survived gracefully into the next spring.

My daughter, a delicate Rose, maintains strength to carry the burdens of others by being present in their overwhelmed condition.  Witnessing the cruelty in life, she brings light into the darkness.  Through teaching and example, she gives witness to the risk of being vulnerable. She will thrive in her garden, years on end.

Brothers and Sisters ...

Happy Birthday to son and daughter
on Mother's Day!

     "No one has yet fully realized the wealth of      sympathy, kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of a child."   Emma Goldman, author

"To the outside world, we all grow old.  But not to brothers and sisters.  We know each other as we always were.  We know each others hearts.  We share family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys.  We live outside the touch of time."  Clara Ortega

 

                                                                                Irving Berlin:  "Lord  help the mister that  comes

between me and my sister."

Reside In The Glow

"Woman must come of age by herself ... to learn how to stand alone.  She must learn not to depend on another, nor to feel she must prove her strength by competing with another.  In the past, she has swung between these two opposite poles of dependence and competition, of Victorianism and Feminism.  Both extremes throw her off balance."  

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

GIFT FROM THE SEA

Women have not always had role models who were exhibiting a fully balanced life.  There was the stay at home mom or a business woman who had taken on the characteristics of a business man.  Appropriate guides didn't seem to be pointing in a helpful direct and so females learned by trial and error.

Each woman discovers her whole throughout a process as she passes through life.  She gathers bits and pieces, hoping at some point they will all fit together.  It is not until we experience the strengthening of the core that we are truly capable of a balanced relationship with self and others.

Our goal is not about motherhood, career, or competition; but it is about discovery of creases in our authentic selves.  As we straighten the fabric of our inner lives, we bring light to discern any deep crevices needing repair.  As we mend old wounds, we grow stronger in character.  

As a woman, when we finally step into life fully, wearing both our masculine and feminine qualities, we are prepared to follow any path.  We have created an inner beauty of our own, attracting fellow path finders who have no interest in reshaping who we are meant to be.   We safely reside in the glow of body, mind, and spirit.

Experience with Bliss

"If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living.  Wherever you are ~ if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time."

Joseph Campbell

Bliss is best described when you fall into the depths of enchantment.  It is a heavenly experience of feeling enraptured and truly blessed.  Needless to say, bliss had escaped me for the majority of my life.

While in attendance of a gathering to welcome a Tibetan Master, I felt safe in the crowd as I was flanked on both sides by long time friends.  The reception began with mantras and chants, followed by meditations and visualizations.  The energy in the room was over the top, and I felt as though I could reach the twilight zone with ease.

Apparently, the schedule had been interrupted by the monk running late.  To fill this lapse of time, additional chanting and euphoric exercises were shared by the attending group.  Never, had I ever felt quite so buoyant.    

Grinning ear to ear, I embraced friends on either side of me.  The once strangers in front of me and behind me were now glowing beings of radiant light.  We hugged within this seventh heaven. The gathering place was thick with joy.

The guru finally arrived, and his delightful message captured us all.  Each of us were invited, one by one, to approach him for an individual blessing.  It felt like a gift to be in his presence.

When I think back to this day spent with trusted friends, I immediately recapture the spectrum of emotions experienced during the morning wait.  It remains to be a most exceptional time where I was physically pure light, emotionally nothing but joy, and spiritually flying.  This experience was bliss.

Advancing Desires

"The only way to do 

all things you'd like to do

is to read."

Tom Clancy

We may not always have the skills to fulfill our desires, and that is how reading can help.  Reading broadens our world, our experiences, and our dreams.  Through the written word, all of our senses can be heightened.  

The adventure of traveling may can begin right now.  There are endless books with breath taking pictures to help us decide where exactly we want to go.  If we want to plant differing flowers, we can explore available gardening books to teach us what grows best in our climate and for how long.  

There are numerous activities to choose from and perhaps we do not have the time to follow through now.  Preparation can begin with pilfering through books to firm our ideas or narrow our choices. When we do finally have the time, we are better prepared to begin.  If the desire is to express desires through art, explore endless resources on technique, quality of brushes, and available paints.

Author Tom Clancy was not accepted into the military as he had planned.  His poor vision prevented him from enlisting.  He poured his passion into writing about military interests.  In this way, he was able to experience what he had been disallowed. (Rumor has it he even bought a tank!)

The only way to do all the things you'd like to do is to read 

Tom Clancy

I See You

"There is hunger for ordinary bread,

and there is hunger for love, for kindness, for thoughtfulness;

and this is the great poverty that makes people suffer so much."

Mother Teresa of Calcutta

The hunger for loving touch eats away at the body, mind, and soul.     As human beings, we hunger for love, kindness, and thoughtfulness.  The bellies may be empty,  but the absence of acceptance can be even more deadly.

We may not have the network to tend to the emotional survival of others, but we do have a smile for each and every human we meet.

Too much time is focused on what we cannot do, instead of placing creative attention on what we can do.  Poverty includes much more than lack of monetary needs.  As human beings to human beings, we need to make a connection by reaching out in any way we can.

Send love out into the world while driving.  Embrace neighbors and friends when possible.  Exchange pleasantries with fellow shoppers.  Lavish smiles upon passers by.  Send prayers for the needs of others while holding them in our heart.  Meditate or visualize the warm glow of love encircling communities or countries.  Focus on the empty faces and offer them a promise, "I see you!"

Beautiful Forever

"According to the Buddha, 

everyone is born to be beautiful ~

not just for the first twenty-five years, but always.

The source of all beauty is within."

Eknath Easwaran

Your Life Is Your Message

Listen to the praises a new born!  Even a toddler is portrayed by magical actions or sayings.  Watch an adult greet a child in a grocery store.   When is it we begin to withhold praises and stop admiring the light shining brightly from within?  At what point do we stop feeling confident and purposeful?  Who is it deciding these things, anyway?

Think back to a time or an event in your life when you felt particularly special.  Visualize how you looked and notice in your body how you felt.  What about your posture and facial expression?  Try to step into the memory and take in the emotion, the physical expansiveness, and the personal identity.  Relive the moment as best as you can.

Now try to bring all of those special feelings back into the present moment.  Recapture the emotion of feeling special and let it spread through your body.  Slowly, breathe in joy.  Slowly, breathe out any heaviness you may feel inside.  Leave room only for the expansive appreciation for your authentic spirit.

Carry these feelings of acceptance throughout your day, mindfully breathing in and out.  Do not allow any negativity to linger in your mind.  Let it go.  Just for today, be who you were always meant to be ... beautiful forever, inside and out.

Impacted Perspective

"It is therefore not necessarily the presence of an emotion

that is the problem but how we respond to it."

Rob Preece 

feeling wisdom

We cannot prevent emotions from occurring in our lives.  They are a part of the human experience and cause problems only through our reactions.  If we repress an emotion, it is similar to a sticky little seed.  It will begin to attract other similar feelings.  This is how thoughts become stuck within, and energy can become blocked which impacts our health.  

We display our repressed emotions in body language:  the way we walk, how we hold ourselves, and by our physical distance from others.  We develop internal sensations such as anxiety, indigestion, headaches or more serious ailments.  Clinging to our unresolved feelings, alters our mind set and our attitude towards ourselves as well as others.  Our perspective on living, surviving or thriving is impacted as well.

Ideally, we monitor ourselves closely enough to recognize the original feeling.  We can stay on neutral ground and acknowledge the emotion.  To take pause, one creates time to decide if there is any worth to the feeling or if we should just let it pass.  If there is something to be learned, then we can attend to it right away, and then let go.  

Storing our feelings, stuffing our emotions, or avoiding and denying thoughts do nothing more but create building drama.  Our sense of being light hearted is lost, joy evaporates, and we are pulled away from our core beauty.  It is imperative to remember we have free will and many options are open to us.  To make a decision lessens the damage of any emotional buildup and the physical calamities that can follow.

Mentors For A Diversified Mind

"For to know a man's library

is, in some measure, 

to know his mind."

Geraldine Brooks

If a library is a reflection of a person's mind, then mine is certainly eclectic.  I have a huge collection of books, each one deliberately important to me.  The inside print of my books are generally highlighted and sometimes accompanied by personal notations.  They are grouped into subjects such as:  psychology, spirituality, energy work, women's issues; and writing resources.  Some books could fit into multiple categories so they are not always returned to the same place.

I tend to borrow fiction from the library or read it on my iPad.  If I am captivated by it, I will end up buying a copy of my own, which seldom happens.  Non-fiction books need to be held in my hand, ready to be highlighted, and paged back and forth numerous times.  They are like old friends whom I have conferred during changing times, while others are specific mentors for my diversified mind.  

As my eyes pass over one title after the next,  I am gently reminded of certain times or places.  If an individual book does not greet me with familiarity, then it is time to pass it along.  Every once in a great while, I will come across a book on my shelf I can remember purchasing at a certain event.  I realize, even though it has been in my possession for a lengthy period of time, I have never read it.  Plucking it from the dusty shelf, and browsing through the table of contents, I laugh out loud as it is the very subject challenging me in the moment.  Serendipity! It appears at the most precise time.

As a life time avid reader, books have been intimate companions.  I have shared more transformational moments with the written word than I have in relationships.  Books cannot repeat what the reader discloses.  They do not count the teardrops falling upon their pages.  Transportable and dependable, books have been my expanding foundation.