Excavating Memories

"When you tell the truth, your story changes ~

and when your story changes, your life is transformed."

Mark Matousek

As an adult, we may be sheltering a child's memory of shame. Even a brief flashback of the situation causes our body to responds with nausea or a thickness in the throat.  In reaction, we may pull away from friends and yearn to become invisible.

While writing in a journal, sharing with a trusted friend or seeking professional help, we begin to look at the embarrassment through our adult eyes.  If we invest quiet time in exploring the situation, we may be surprised to discover there is more to the truth than we remembered.  

When we widen the lens of our memory, we no longer see the action out of context.  We begin to notice the behaviors of those around us and how they contributed to the event.  With additional knowledge and consideration to our age at the time, we begin to realize a larger truth.

Some may wonder why there is any need to go back to explore passed episodes.  Shame in our past can impact our present day actions.  It may be causing panic attacks, abusive relationships or escalate to depression.  Excavating our memories, our truth changes as we can view those memories through the eyes of an adult, rather than through the narrow understanding of a child.

As our truth expands, so do our lives.  With greater understanding, we may rebuild our self-confidence, eliminate abusive behaviors, and finally put an end to mindless self-loathing.  We may feel physically and mentally lighter, prepared to begin expanding our horizons.