Continue Moving



Life is like riding a bicycle - in order to keep your balance,
you must keep moving.

Albert Einstein



My father taught me how to ride a bike.  I had a little bit of difficulty weaning my self away from by lovely blue trike with the well worn smooth pedals.  With my father's encouragement, I boarded my sister's old Schwinn two wheeler with great anxiety.  I repeated his words of direction over and over,  "Don't look back.  Keep pedaling.  Balance is the key.  It is easy!"

With these words spinning in my head, I felt my father steady me on top of the bike.  I knew he was holding the bike upright and that my part had yet to begin.  Next he was running beside me, shouting, "Use the pedals.  Move your legs!"  It was challenging to keep my feet on the pedals that were already moving without me. 

I suddenly realized my father's voice was no longer in my ear.  So I turned around, ignoring directions, and saw him standing a half of a block behind me.  WOW! I was moving and doing this all by my self.  My confidence picked up and I was sailing.  Sailing that is, until I hit the corner realizing I wasn't quite so sure how to turn.  I cut the corner too close and fell into the freshly grass seeded lot with the sprinklers running.  The bike and I quickly turned to mud.

In Key West, there are bicycles everywhere and every color of the rainbow.  Some bikes are rented and they are easy to spot as the bikes are a solid color and the helmet protected rider has white knuckled the handlebars. A Key West resident rides a bike full of splattered colors or partially rusted.  They almost always have a basket on front for their dog (Saw one bike rider with their cat in an arm sling strung across the chest.)  and baskets in the back for groceries and such.  Bikes are uniquely decorated in ways that make one laugh out loud, as  the bicyclist moves in and out of traffic with  out one sign of fear.  Women wear dresses, bathing suits, or surprisingly formal attire as they zig and zag down the streets.  Wind blows through their hair, their skirts flutter, and  on their faces are looks of childhood delight. 

For many here in Key West, a bicycle is better transportation than a car.  There is virtually no place to park, the saltwater air rusts everything out, and the tourist traffic is horrendous.  The cars on the streets are  high end , like a BMW, Lexus, or sport car. Then there are tons of Mini Coopers that are ever so fun, especially the convertibles.   Many motorcycles make themselves loud and clear.  They are a definite part of the landscape, but so is the scooter!  There are scooters dodging in and out of everywhere.

The highly decorated bicycles trigger the free spirit in everyone.  They are a symbol of innocence, fun , and freedom. They bring back memories of friends, laughter and adventure. Hearing the cha-ching, cha-ching  of those round silver handlebar bells makes me years lighter and happier.

Just like a bicyclist, we need to keep our balance and keep moving.  Since I don't even walk straight, I think I'll keep my feet as the best mode of transportation.  I will continue moving, striving for balance in spite of challenge.



Good to Go

 

 

 

 

Old friends pass away, new friends appear.  It is just like the days.  An old day passes, a new day arrives.  The important thing is to make it meaningful:  a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.

Dalai Lama

The vacation days here in Key West have passed way too swiftly. The days remaining are too few, but precious.  We will try to absorb as much beauty and warmth as we can (up to 5 inches of snow await us at home). 

 

 

We will be meeting our friends today at the Key West Art Show.  We have attended this before and find it to be very good.  We will wander through the exhibits talking to various artists and hopefully make a few purchases.  Then we will have lunch with our friends.

 

 

Last night we ate at a neighborhood authentic Cuban restaurant .  The place was packed, the food delicious, and the prices very reasonable. Typical of our evening, we slowly walked back through Old Towne to the rental house accompanied by our friends.  We sat on the back porch enjoying these lovely souls, knowing the days were on count down.  This couple is a blessing in that we all like each other ... not just the wives or a business connection.  We all bring something different to our relationship so conversations are random, but heartfelt.

 

 

Little by little, I feel my self beginning to withdraw from this place I love.   I do believe the gifts I have received here would not have been so quickly apparent at home.  When we step out of our comfort zone, leave normal surroundings, and have fewer distractions or responsibilities, it is easier to maintain awareness of what we need to mend.  I have had time to notice different parts of my self needing repair and with the help of this gorgeous weather and diversity of people, I am in a good place.

 

 

In truth, I had hoped to be able to return home ready to leap tall buildings and spiritually fly.  So foolish these traps we set for our selves.  I am simply me.  If I am not me, who will be?  I must continue to be the best me possible.  This challenge may have been a life time project, but I am no longer "under construction".  There is enough time left, I hope, for me to put on the final touches and then I'll be good to go.

Fish Out of Water

 

 

 

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.

~Nelson Mandela



My last trip to Maui was a month long spiritual journey.  Revelations greeted me at every turn and a sense of euphoria filled my life each and every day.  Although I experience Key West in a different way, I arrived here anticipating additional spiritual break throughs.  I felt prepared to open my heart and mind to thoughts to propell me farther along my spiritual path.


With every transition, change is present and we best be prepared to go with the flow.  Nearly a month ago when we arrived at a lovely little rental house in Old Towne, I was fully prepared for adventure and discovery.  Little did I know my awareness would reveal I had arrived at my destination which happened to be my inner self.  My imperfect inner self.


Instead of soaring above the ocean like an eagle in the sky, I remained grounded in observations of gaping holes I needed to mend.    Why are we always surprised to discover we have traveled near and far only to arrive at the starting point once again.   The difference is I now know the way to go, which paths to take, as I have traveled it more than once before.


As I wander the familiar streets and favorite places, I am aware of just how much I have changed since I was last here.  I am proud of who I am today, and grow increasingly aware of who I have always been.  I believe this search of meaning in life is simply a matter of swimming deeper and deeper within our own waters.  We develop the ability to shed more and more of what we no longer need, and learn to swim with the current. 


My nature is to grow increasingly comfortable while in the water.  I float, swim, and dive in the rolling waves.  What is there not to enjoy?  There is such a sense of cleansing, of washing away the heaviness of life, and hearing only the silence of  the liquid surrounding the body.    I find myself to be light hearted and buoyant, not wanting to be the old fish  spit out by the ocean onto the sand.   I don't want to be just another fish out of water.

 



Fog of Fear

          

 

 

The strength of a woman is not measured by the impact that all her hardships in life have had on her; but the strength of a woman is measured by the extent of her refusal to allow those hardships to dictate her and who she becomes.

 

C. JoyBell C.

 

 

 

Historically, the strength of men has been portrayed as a physical quality.   The strength of women has been viewed more as an emotional or mental quality.  We can look at a man and physically be aware of his strength, but woe is the one looking upon a smaller woman and not being aware of her endless strength.

 

 

To be a strong female was a requirement in my life, even though my strength was often hidden.

I did not necessarily need for others to know of my strength, but it was vital for me to maintain this quality.  I have been overwhelmed, and challenged.  It is not in the falling down that strength is required.  It is needed for the standing back up.  The strength to move forward, once again, requires every ounce of strength within the body, mind, and spirit.

 

 

It becomes exhausting to be the strong one all of the time.  Some where along the line, the decision is made to stop protecting others and defending the self.   The longing to 'just be' becomes greater than the fear of being vulnerable.  By allowing the strength to become balanced, energy can be used in the discovery of self-identification. 

 

 

All of the concern once lavished on others can now be used to nurture personal unfolding.  While polishing off the old comments from others, we rediscover the gifts we have had all along.  We strive to become more creative with our life and as the Universe supports us, we care less and less about what others may be thinking or saying.  We develop a self-appreciation that has been long in coming.  We are amazed to finally feel a sense of worthiness, and to give our self permission to take up space in this world.

 

 

As we begin to live in each moment, we realize there is no need for a protective shield.  We have the strength to address challenges as they come and go, letting falseness pass right through us.  We no longer hold the illusion of life trying to harm us.  We create calm by embracing the richness that waits beyond the confusing fog of fear.

 

 



Synchronicity at Hog Fish Bar in Stock Island

 

 

I do believe in an everyday sort of magic -- the inexplicable connectedness we sometimes experience with places, people, works of art and the like; the eerie appropriateness of moments of synchronicity; the whispered voice, the hidden presence, when we think we're alone.” 

Charles de Lint

 

 

There is nothing like synchronicity to bring magic to life.  We have all experienced those unexpected moments when random factors all line up in unison, bringing the unexpected together. 

 

One of my favorite  places to eat is at an outdoor bar known for serving Hogfish.  This particular fish is caught locally, so it is very fresh.  Hogfish is mild, meaty and just delicious.  The Hogfish Bar is established right in the middle of the shrimp docks so no matter where the customer sits,  there is plenty of activity going on at the wharf. 

 

Every time we visit the Keys, we always make sure to visit this outdoor eatery.  In the  bathroom for women, there is a sign stating,  "All employees must wash  hands. If employees not present, wash your own hands!"  

 

As I stood in line waiting for the bathroom, the woman behind me struck up a conversation.  "Have you eaten here before?" 

I responded in a very affirming way. 

Then she asked the usual question of where I was from. 

I told her Illinois. 

She then replied, "Oh, so am I.  Where in Illinois?" 

I told her Springfield and she exclaimed, "So am I!"  

So we laughed and hugged like twins separated at birth.

 

Synchronicity has been laced in and out of my life, and I am grateful for the inexplicable connectedness.  Synchronicity brings the kid out of us.  We are amused like a slight of hand trick.  Our funny bone gets tickled and magic seems to light up the stars in the sky.   

 



Pra Na Spa in Key West

 

 

 

 

“If I could touch anything in the world right now,

it would be your heart. 

I want to take that piece of you and keep it with me.” 

 

Jessica Verday

 

 

For Christmas, Russ gave a gift certificate to me from the PraNa Spa in Key West.  I have received massages here before with great satisfaction.  It is in a Zen setting with softly playing meditation music.  So I happily returned this year anticipating nothing but pleasure.  And pleasure it was.

 

During the last ten years as Russ and I have traveled, I always arrange time for a massage.  Each and every one has been interesting in its own way, and each  experienced masseuse has allowed me to enter into the private realm of my spirit.  Through the power of touch, stress falls away and the body relaxes followed shortly by the mind.  I find my self in a peaceful and suspended space outside of  ordinary time.  Within this sacred space filled with brilliant healing light, I mentally reach out to touch the hearts of those I love.  I visualize this light floating across time and space, successfully settling into these hearts bringing a wisp of contented love.  Then I extend this rejuvenating sense of calm out into the world, hoping it will arrive where it is most needed.

 

It is truly a shame the word 'massage' carries a stigma for some.  A professional massage is healthy for body, mind, and soul.  It is interesting to learn in the very first definition of hospital,

the structure offered medical procedures, family discussions, and massage.   Manipulating the body was considered an important part of the healing process.  With the growing population of Senior Citizens, there are many who have not been physically touched since the passing of their mate.  A massage would be rejuvenating physically and emotionally. 

 

The experience of a massage realigns our physical balance as well as the balance between body, mind and spirit.   It helps to adjust our perspective and attitude, allowing negativity to fall away.  If this has still not peaked an interest in a full body massage, try this.  Place a favorite lotion in the palms of each hand, then slowly rub each palm and then the top of the hand.  Rub the fingers and the wrists. Extend the rub up to the elbows working both the top and bottom of the arm.  Continue to the feet.  Apply lotion and knead the bottom of your feet and then stroke the top.  Attend to the toes like the fingers, rubbing in between each toe as well as the base in the back of the toe.  The ankles can also be massaged and part way up the leg, especially at the back of the calf.  It is truly amazing how this attention can impact the entire body with so little effort. 

 

If these comments still leave doubt lingering in the mind, think of the Bible.  There are many references to a common practice of anointing the feet with oil.  I am certain it was as pleasurable then as it is now.

 

 

 

 

  

Aligning With the Inner Self

"I want to feel my life while I'm in it."

Meryl Streep

We move through life witnessing both success and defeat, courage and fear, and happiness and sorrow.  During these segments, we are frequently focused on how to move forward and disallow our selves time to actually feel any depth of emotions.  We don't want to be stuck in our emotions.  We don't want to be carried away by our emotions.  If, however, we do not allow our selves to truly feel we are not aligning with our inner self, Divine Spirit, or wisdom to guide us. 

Using success for example.  If we experience success and ignore our true inner emotions, we may not realize are loneliness, lack of passion or sense of being in the wrong place.  Just because we become successful in a certain arena, does not mean it is the the arena for us to perform in for the rest of our lives.  Even if the success is the result of a long held goal, we may discover it is not where we truly resonate.  On the other hand, while experiencing success, we feel buoyant, joyful and continued passion, then by recognizing these emotions, we are validated and encouraged.

When we avoid our inner self, our feelings get repressed.  They do not simply go away.  In sorrow, people will tell us to be brave, get over it, and prepare for a new life.  We need to allow time to check in with our sadness, our loss, or vulnerability.  We need to feel these emotions deeply so we can begin the process of healing. 

A few years ago, I was with a trusted mentor.  I shared a childhood story with her I had told many times over the years as I thought it was so funny.  The story involved my self and an exchange with an adult.  After sharing the incident I was laughing heartily, but the mentor challenged me.  She said, "I see you regard this as funny, but how did it make you feel?"  Silence followed.  No one had ever asked me this question before and I was truly caught off guard.  I realized only in that moment it made me feel horrible.  When I stopped crying, I knew I would never tell the story in the same way again.

Human beings walk around life with a back pack.  When they come into contact with an emotional reality they don't want to deal with, they throw it in their back pack.  This works fine until one day the back pack is so filled with repressed anger, rejection, abandonment and/or other negative experiences, we are so off balance we fall.  It becomes time to remove the back pack and to sort through it discarding all of the old rubbish.

When we stay in alignment with Divine Spirit, our inner self is flowing and free no matter what the outer world brings to us.  We can face our challenges with a spiritual force (trust or faith) allowing us to embrace reality, feel our emotions, and move through life fully experiencing the union of body, mind, and spirit .

    



Simmer Until Boiled Dry ...

Where there is anger,

there is always pain underneath. 

Eckhart Tolle

There have been several times I have noticed the exchanges between couples prompting me to  question the balance of power in relationships.  I hope to recapture these moments to display what I mean.

    A  woman in her early sixties was standing at a check out counter of a small shop.  The husband entered (they were wearing wedding bands) and in a loud harsh voice says, "You are not buying that are you?  You'll never wear it.  You don't need it." The few customers in the store turned to the bullish man as quiet loomed in the shop.  The shop keeper sympathetically looked into the woman's eyes and asked, "How about if I take 20% off the price?"  The husband in a degrading voice looked at the wife saying, "You aren't seriously going to buy that are you?"  The customers in the shop seemed to gather closer.  The wife took a deep breath and asked the shop keeper to please wrap it up.  The husband stormed out of the shop.


     A woman sipping her drink leaned forward and lovingly said to her companion, "Are you going to keep me forever?"  The man was hesitant creating a slight pause before he responded, "Well, forever is an awfully long time."    The earlier look of love quickly turned to embarrassment.

     A woman asked a man, "Which way do you want to go?"  Curtly,  the man replied, "How about you go that way and I'll go this way.  We can meet back at the house."  The smile fell from the woman's face while the man attempted to convince her he had been only teasing.

    The sidewalks were cramped with people moving ever so slowly.  An attractive woman was bumped off the curb and a man behind her was quick to grab her arm.  "Are you okay honey?" he asked.   She jerked her arm away from him obviously angry.  She loudly yelled at him, "You do not need to take care of me.  I can take care of my self.  I don't need you at all." 

    The attractive couple shared a bottle of wine.  He was physically fit and graying around the temples of his well structured face.  She was an attractive blond with long legs stretching under the table for two, reaching out to his.  Her smiling eyes never left his face.  She encouraged him to talk and they shared laughter throughout their dinner.  There seemed to be an intimacy between them.  Then he said, "Before my wife died ... "  She responded  immediately in body language.  She pulled her tanned legs back under her chair.  She broke her loving gaze from his face and looked away.  Pretending to let a huge yawn escape from her mouth, she quickly wiped the tears from her cheeks.  As she leaned back in her chair, she crossed her arms as if they would protect her. She yawned again in attempt to fill the newly created silence between them.  He appeared to be lost in his thoughts while she seemed to notice us for the first time at the neighboring table.  "Lovely evening isn't it," she bravely said in our direction.  We politely replied as the man left to pay the bill.  She seemed to wander off the porch of Bagatelle's Restaurant out into the night.

These are all examples of anger with pain under the surface.  If we choose to ignore  anger and let  emotional pain simmer until we are emotionally boiled dry, what then?  How long does one endure degrading remarks in public, humiliation in front of others, or damaging personal insults passed off as teasing or joking.  This behavior is not exclusive to age or gender.  The basic issue is respect and honor towards our selves and  others.  It is also about appropriate communication and speaking out about inner feelings.  Unfortunately, when we exercise this kind of behavior, it can spill  over into other relationships both social and professional.

It is discouraging to observe and/or experience these types of situations.  They reflect the masks we choose to wear when we are not authentically present in the moment and not aligned with our precious selves.  They are reminders to us all to be more direct and honest so we won't boil dry.

Nooks and Crannies ... Key West Tour of Homes.

Never make your home in a place.  Make a home for yourself inside your own head.  You'll find what you need to furnish it - memory, friends you can trust, love of learning, and other such things.  That way it will go with you whenever you journey.    Tad Williams

"Be comfortable in your own skin" is a directive I have heard for several years. My love for people and natural curiosity with human behavior, has always allowed me to be comfortable with others, but not necessarily with myself.  I learned to gather things in my home reflecting my interests and passions.  Over the years, however, the treasures I store in my heart sustain me.

The Old Island Restoration Foundation promotes the preservation and restoration of historically significant buildings.  With our friends we took advantage of the Foundation's 50 year celebration of Key West House Tours.  We visited six different homes, each reflecting a different life style, history, and care. 

Although all of the homes were interesting in one aspect or another, there was one that lingers in my mind.  It belonged to an artist who resided half of the year in Key West and the other half in New York.  The property is really divided into two small structures attached by a wide walk way with a lovely garden in the rear. 

The living quarters are on one side offering two modest bedrooms and an amazingly unique kitchen.  In the covered walkway,  the roof joins the two structures.   In this area, there was a wonderful hiding place filled with cushions and partially enclosed like a built in window seat providing a wonderful reading or dreaming nook.  Snuggled into this space, one can glance out into the lovely backyard and enjoy the breeze passing through the middle of these structures. 

The other structure was my favorite.  The entire back wall had windows that faced the backyard's secret garden.  There was a queen size bed facing the window for endless napping or visualizing.  It was one big room with the windows and bed on one end, and an artist's studio on the other.  There were numerous cubby holes in the wall to hold supplies or treasures and a work table with a good window.   Glance up to the ceiling and there is a tiny walkway leading to a loft offering a rocking chair in a small  private cranny facing the top of the large triangular windows from below.

This second structure has been implanted in my memory.  It will be a mental hide-a-way for me to escape ... to dream, ... to contemplate ...  and to create.  It is a mental space where I can be comfortable in my own skin without any material distractions or attachments. 

Touring six  historical homes was  very interesting.   They were all very individualistic and creative.   Visiting the artist's small two structure home with nooks and crannies will remain with me indefinitely.  It  has been yet another gift from Key West. 



Largest Art Festival in USA at Coconut Grove

We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion. ~ Max de Pree

 

Traveling with our friends, we drove through all of the Florida Keys headed for Miami. It was a three hour drive, but the views along the way were very inspiring. Our friends explained the history of each Key and how it had significantly grown or suffered. This long drive took us to the largest art festival in the United States. The Coconut Art Festival was celebrating 50 successful years with over 350 artists on site and more than 500,000 people expected to attend. This is a juried show with highly skilled artists, best quality work, and exceptional offerings from across the United States, Canada, and a few other countries.
 

The skill of each artist was so unique nothing seemed replicated. There were oils, water colors, multi-media and even embroidered I had never seen displayed before. There were etchings in pencil and glass, pottery in Miami style, unique jewelry for all occasions, spectacular glass pieces for walls, vases, and table top decorations. Much to my surprise, I came upon a jewelry maker I had purchased from at the Peoria Art Festival in Illinois. (I knew she was counting on me, so I bought from her again. I couldn't let her down!) Other artists offered metal works, sculptures, fibers and painted silk, wood creations and leather designs. In addition, there were performing artists and individual musicians scattered throughout the show. In the attempt to not exclude any artist, there was an entire section of culinary arts with amazing food and chefs.
 

This was an amazing experience. I have attended art shows and festivals for years now, and I have to admit even though this was the largest scale art show I have ever attended, not one tent nor exhibitor had failed to reflect their unique interpretation of what they had honed their skills to create. 
 

These artists truly reflected the concept of remaining focused on individual interpretation, extending time and money on the preferred skill, rather than spending energy on duplicating some one else's creation or style. They followed their personal instincts with passion and the results were extremely creative gifts. We found some of the artists visiting other artists to buy what they honored in others. One jewelry artist was looking at a beautiful silk painted shawl. She was willing to support others in what they did best. Artists respecting the exceptional qualities in others promotes diversity and good will.
 

One particular young woman will always stand out in my mind, Teresa Merriman.  Her business is MIND'S EYE JOURNALS.  She was from Colorado and created exceptional journals. She had made the paper which was high quality, and then prepared leather of different shades to cover each journal. She also bound all of the journals her self. There were three different sizes and not one a like. The higher end prices were on the journals adorned with leather covers plus uniquely individual metal disks. These journals were high quality artistic offerings. I loved talking with this artist at length and regretfully didn't buy one. I felt I would never have anything worthy enough to say to grace the lovely pages in this exceptional journal.  Her skilled crafts (woman) ship can be viewed at: 
www.MindsEyeJournals.com
 

We also attended the neighboring art festival (We walked out of one and right into another) composed of artists applying too late to get juried for the larger show. It was also very entertaining. In a delightfully older school building, High Tea was being offered with fresh strawberries on scones. We of course wanted to support their efforts as well.
 

After stimulating the economy in this creative heaven, we were ready to head home. With a three hour return drive a head of us, we had plenty of time to share our favorite experience or food from the day. Half-way back we experienced a wonderful dinner at The Green Turtle giving ourselves time to rest and regroup. We had left our rental house by 7:30 am and returned exhausted by 10:30 pm, but what a magnificent day.

Woman with a Parrot

Let's take a walk together near the ocean shore,

hand in hand you and I.

Let's cherish ev'ry moment we have been given

for time is passing by.

Kool And The Gang

Time here in Key West is passing too quickly.  We have done so many things, gone to differing sites, and visited with friends, but there are still destinations to be met.  There is so much more I am wanting to experience here, and yet a balance must be kept.

There are experiences I have yet to share and insights left unreported.  Some are incidental meetings while others have been synchronistic. And what can be said for increasingly complicated dreaming I have yet to figure out.  Understanding the many layers to this time being spent here, one must also account for the bombardment of emotions or energy accompanying each person and place as the abrasive vibrations are mixed in with those I hold dear. 

I was wandering down a beautiful Old Town street, canopied with trees and yards over flowing with flowers.  I heard a bird and immediately turned my head as I knew it would make a noise again.  And so it did.  I scanned the branches and the fences, but I saw nothing of a bird even though the noise grew louder.  I never stopped walking so I was curious as to how this bird was becoming louder instead of fading away.  I quit searching as I was approaching an elderly woman in front of me walking at such a slow pace.  As I began to pass her, a parrot sitting on her shoulder screeched at me.  The woman offered her arthritic old hand and the parrot climbed aboard.  The bird squawked at me again enjoying the fine act of startling me.  I stopped to admire the bird tethered to the woman by a very filthy string. The one end of the string was attached to the old woman's wrist and the other end was wrapped around the parrot's right foot.  She stooped over to loving set the bird on the sidewalk and then stood to face me.  I was already delivering my tourist response to her having a parrot on her shoulder, but immediately shut my mouth as soon as her eyes locked with  mine.  My first impression of a sweet older woman with her parrot companion swiftly changed to a gnarly old woman filled with bitterness and torment.  She never said a word, orally that is, but her eyes spoke volumes.  The energy she was generating towards me was not good.  It was heavy and chaotic.  She knew I would back away and back away I did.

As in all places, there are both happy folks and sad.  There are the homeless, but some with wealth just as sad.  Money does strange things to people  just as poverty can be debilitating.  There are some souls living alone in loneliness while others even though surrounded by others are trapped in a void of their own.  To all of them, I extend love, energy and light.

As time in Key West is flying by, I embrace with compassion all I am blessed to see ... all children of the Universe ... and not for me to speculate, judge or remedy.  I will cherish all of my experiences as each and every one reflects a reality not normally caught in the perception of my own little world.  In spite of our appearances, underneath, we really are all struggling to embrace the challenges we face. 





It Takes Input

The ocean was the best place, of course. That was what she loved most.

  It was a feeling of freedom like no other, and yet a feeling of communion

with all the other places and creatures the water touched.”    

  

~ Ann Brashares



Every day I hear the ocean and it calms me.  As the waves roll in, I feel as though I am being cleansed, over and over again.  The sun shines brightly upon my face and there is only joy, not sorrow.  As I wander back to our rented Key West home, I soak up the beauty of the beautiful trees and vibrant flowers snapping pictures all of the way. 

Once settled on the covered porch, I can laze on the glider listening to the gurgle of the small pool just a short glance away.  I watch small hawks flying overhead and wait for my favorite butterfly so delicate and graceful and yet so swift. 

For several years now, I have been meeting weekly with a small circle of women for contemplation, wisdom, and insight into various topics.  The sharing and learning between us has created a very strong bond of love.  This is where I feel accepted, not necessarily approved;and honored and respected in spite of frailties and wounds. Even though I carry these "sisters" in my heart, I miss their physical presence.

The same can be said for my writers group.  A few years back, I attended this gathering of diverse women and have returned weekly ever since.  Together we have laughed, cried, and taught each other through our shared writings and stories.  It is with these lovely ladies I have experienced tender hearted criticism, encouragement and validation.  I am keenly aware of my absence from these spirited sisters, and look forward to being with them once I return.

I also have weekly visits with a mentor and a close friend and by being absent, I realize how very much they help me to understand my self.  They say it takes a village to raise a child.  For me, it takes input from trusted and diverse souls to remain grounded and nurtured on my chosen path.  My destination will not be met if I travel completely alone, void of assistance from others.

When we were on the ferry last night, I was watching a buoy in the water bobbing around in the ocean waves.  This is how I feel at times, bobbing around in the deep waters of life.   I am upright and strong until a wave washes me over.  I resist and flounder until I allow my self to be upright again.  When I just trust the flow of the water and go with the ups and downs, life runs more smoothly.

A Kindred Spirit at the Intimate Concert at Historic Casa Antigua

 

 

 

Noel Paul Stookey

of

Peter, Paul and Mary

(See note below) 

 

 

 

 

When Russ told me he had acquired tickets to the Noel "Paul" Stookey concert (sold out) to  be held at the turn of the century private garden at the Historic Casa Antigua, I was extremely pleased.  At that time, however, I had no idea how the concert would validate my true sense of self.

 

The concert was a benefit for the Florida Keys Arts, specifically for Art Council Grant Programs.  The surroundings were a private garden with a simple one man stage.  I recognized Paul immediately.  He had aged well and it was hard for me to believe he was ten years older than myself.  His voice was just as rich and tender as I remembered, and his guitar playing was mesmerizing as we watched from the front row. 

 

As the old familiar words floated into my heart, I began to have vivid memories of my younger self.  I was able to recall  how these lyrics were aligned with my belief system as a teen and just how deeply I knew them to be truth.  It suddenly occurred to me that my beliefs were not just some carry over from the Bohemian Coffee House Poets or the Hippie Movement or Anti-War or New Age periods.  The words being softly delivered, touching the audiences very souls, made me aware, once again, I was truly me.  My views of today are better researched and formulated today but were based in the same earlier desires for honoring diversity, love not weapons, loving our land, and freedom for all.  I felt very validated sitting in the small audience, knowing that all  of us had been awakened to a former passion from so many years ago.  The past had become alive once again.  I was happy to acknowledge that I had remained truly me.

 

Noel Paul  Stookey presented several new songs that I had not heard prior to this "MUSIC from the HEART" concert.  His lyrics held the same desires with even deeper sentiments.  Through the lyrics and the chords he played, the audience could feel his passion that has held true over the years.  Who he was this evening on that stage, was a kindred spirit.  I longed to ask him questions about his long and dedicated path.  I wanted to know how he overcame being discouraged as we were faced with the same issues today (love, peace, acceptance) that he faced for the last forty years.  I was curious how he maintained his gentle nature and what kept him moving forward in these his later years.  He did say that it only took one man and his guitar to deliver a message we all needed to hear. 

 

Deeply moved by his performance, I felt a rush of creative expression and the strong desire to carry these themes further out into the world.  The synchronicity of his values being mirrored in many of my past and current writings assured me I was on the right track.  It was exhilarating to know seeds had been planted in me so long ago and diversity of others grew those seeds.  My strong sense of love and equality might not have been original, but I was born with the fertile ground, waiting for these seeds to sprout. 

 

Peter, Paul, and Mary had growing popularity as folk singers in the early 1960's. Their lyrics were passionate about freedom and brotherly/sisterly love. Their guitar melodies were just as heartfelt. The trio opened for Martin Luther King, Jr on the day he was killed which deepened their message of peace not war.

As a teen, I loved their music. The ballads were so easy to sing joining the hearts of the audience with the compassion of the musical artists. Much to my delight, I was able to see the trio perform live in Chicago, forever embedding them in my memory. One never loses track of loved music, but my path did not cross with this music again until the mid-nineties when I saw Peter perform in Salt Lake City, Utah. The words to his songs were reawakened in my heart and the full audience increased the intensity by passionately singing along. Mary died around three years ago, but up until then, Peter, Paul, and Mary continued to perform with their same commitment and dedication to love and peace.

 

 

****Peter, Paul and Mary song titles

 

BLOWIN' IN THE WIND

IF I HAD A HAMMER

FLOWERS

PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON

 

There are many more song titles, but these are songs you may remember.

 

 

 

 



 

 



 

 



SIX DANCE LESSONS IN SIX WEEKS

 

 

 

People hasten to judge

in order not to be judged themselves.

 

Albert Camus

THE FALL

 

 

The Waterfront Playhouse (celebrating 73 years in Key West) presented SIX DANCE LESSONS IN SIX WEEKS.  The two hour play was listed as a "part comedy, part drama and part cha-cha-cha.  There were only two performers in the entire play.  A man, who portrayed a gay dance instructor and a woman, who played the role of a widowed Southern Baptist minister's wife.  They were very suited for the characters they played and the viewing time rushed by.  They played to a full house receiving a standing ovation at the end.

 

I certainly wouldn't want to write a review for this play, but the story line ran very close to the truth of how we can consider our selves loving and kind, not prejudiced, but still have hurtful words pass out of our mouths without even realizing it.  In the production, the gay man frequently and boldly called out the woman for her stereotyping and the aging southern belle did not mince words to bring his false assumptions and unaligned defenses front and center.

 

It is my hope communities today are much better at embracing diversity in cultures, religions, races, and politics.  I am uncomfortably aware of the hatred in the world, but I am addressing the prejudices we unknowingly portray.  I am referring to things we say off the top of our heads that when we are challenged we discover we have no real basis for the accusations we have just made ... just assumptions, things we have learned from our family of origin or individual experiences now judging a certain group instead of the singular offender.

 

We can all recall incidents of making a faux pas, but I shudder to think of the many times I have not been aware of offending someone as I unknowingly blathered on.  There are times when I run through a conversation in my head hours or days later and cringe at something I have said that was perhaps open to a different translation.  The words can never be withdrawn and trying to clarify by reopening the conversation usually makes things worse.

 

When someone challenges us about words we have carelessly uttered, we sometimes discover our opinion has been based on false assumptions or as mentioned before, lumping an entire group of people into a negative category based on the behaviors of  just one person.  Even in generalizing ... "These kids today are spoiled.  Single parents are not up to the challenge.  Doctors are in it just for the money.  Other countries are evil.  Our world is doomed."

 

The bottom line is we must be accountable for our opinions.  We must listen to what others say in addition to what we are saying.  If we hold an opinion, we must be well informed to support it based on facts not assumptions.  There is no need to back down or alter personal beliefs, but we need to  listen to what others have to say.  This of course requires an open heart, compassion, and respect  for others.  We must also be willing to recognize our own short sightedness and to be willing to adapt and change when needed. 

 

SIX DANCE LESSONS IN SIX WEEKS illustrates how we are all human beings needing love and acceptance.  It portrays how we are so busy pointing out the fleck in some one elses eye, we peer around the boulder in our own.  We all have many parts to our selves combining us into a whole being.  Not all of our parts are pure or sterling.  It is helpful to be aware of our weaker parts, to strive to accept and adapt them, and to become integrated in our awareness of not just others, but our selves as well.

 

 

 



Footprints On My Heart

 

 

 

 

Francois Mauriac
No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever.

 

 

 

My life has been blessed by good friends, acquired sisters, and finally a love that lasts.

All individuals crossing my path, however briefly, are captured in my heart.  Those who once appeared to be judgmental of me, have eventually revealed themselves as teachers.  The challenge is often in retaining the  lesson.  I am thankful for those who give so generously from their hearts. 

 

Life taught me how to detach, to protect my self from pain, not realizing in doing so, one also locks out love and appreciation from others.  It is written somewhere that God continues to break open our hearts, over and over again, to allow our hearts to fully heal.  I realize I have been a hard heart to crack. 

 

In finally loving my self, I have attracted a life long companion to share love, life, and its challenges.  To celebrate the survival of our ups and downs, we will board a ferry taking us to Sunset Island a short distance away.  Here we will enjoy a twilight dinner on the ocean's edge.  We will watch the sun go  down trusting it will rise again in the morn.  Such is our relationship, feeling love between us, trusting it will rise again in the morn.

 

For all of those who have loved me or not, I  extend love on this Valentine's Day for the past, present or future role played in my life.  I readily assure you, once you have been present even with storm or strife, your footprints on my heart will be forever more.



 

 



Answering When We are Called

 

"Love only grows by sharing.  You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others." 

 
―   Brian Tracy

 

 

There is a lot to be said for defining boundaries and clarifying limitations when in relationship.  It is only when these two things are addressed that giving will not exhaust us.  It is the gift of giving when it is reciprocated back to us.  This is not to say that reciprocation will come immediately nor will it necessarily be returned by the same person.  Frequently, our random acts of kindness are returned to us in quite a different way and at a different time.

 

Some of us will say we glory in the feeling of joy once we extend our selves or resources to some  one else.  The joy of giving in unmistakable, but even though our intention was never to receive in turn, goodness shall be returned. 

 

We do not extend love in order to be loved in return, as life will repeatedly show us this isn't how relationships work.  We give out of love and our love for our selves swells by our kind actions.  When we are filled with love for our selves (I am not talking about ego here) we will attract love back to us.  The joy of giving creates love for all involved. 

 

We extend our selves without an intention for an outcome.  We give freely in spite of what will unfold.  We do our part and leave the rest.  We answer when we are called without any agenda.

My favorite example of this is the the story of two men walking down the street passing a disheveled homeless woman begging for money.  The one man looked the other way while the second man immediately extended cash to the "down on her luck" woman.  

 

The first man asks if the second man is crazy.  "Do  you really think she is going to go buy milk or food with that money," the first man asks.  The second man smiles at the first man and explains that his obligation is to respond to the needs of others and then it ends there.  Whatever the woman does with the money is up to her.     He does not have an agenda or intentions for a specific outcome.  He is simply answering the call.  Too often, we relinquish our part by judging the other.

 

Today is my significant other's birthday.  In my eyes, he is this second man.  Although prudent, he frequently will immediately respond to a call once received.  He is willingly to accept the responsibility of helping another without a return.  He will never mention his good deed again as he just takes it in stride.  He does not worry, get overly involved, or further engage.  He simply does what he is nudged to do.

 

I celebrate his birth and his presence in my life.  He is my teacher and infrequently my student.  We are dramatically different, but our hearts are coupled, giving and receiving as our love grows.

 

 

 

Inside, We Feel the Answer

 

 

 

I don't like that man. 

I must get to know him better.

 

Abraham Lincoln

 

 

During our busy days, we come across friends, professional acquaintances, or strangers who really trigger the ugly in us.  We may have an immediate dislike for the person or a growing negative opinion from over time and issues.  Then there are those who we take an immediately liking to or instantly feel an immediate deep  connection.   Either way, people come into our lives for reasons.  Each an every person carries a message for us and it is important to decipher the content of the message.

 

Along life's passage, I have learned not to spend time with people who drain me or who do not respect me; however, I really try to determine what I need to learn from them.  Are they reflecting some underdeveloped part of myself needing strengthening.  If they are loud or dominate all conversations is this life reflecting to me I need to speak up more and socialize or is it saying I too speak too  loudly and dominate conversations. If we have a negative reaction, where did this originate or what does it represent to us?   Inside we feel the answer to the question.  On the other hand, if we deeply admire a person for generous help extended to others or acceptance of everyone, perhaps we need to be more like them.   Either way, it benefits us to take the time to decipher each person's message.

 

I believe Abraham Lincoln's response to meeting someone he doesn't care for is not only compassionate, but a truth leading to world peace starting one by one.  If we can eliminate judgment and replacement with understanding, surely harmony would follow.  Not that we need to condone negative behavior, but to look for the roots, the cause, and what action might have made a difference.  Learning from this insight, we may not be able to help the individual teaching us, but we may carry the new understanding forward into other situations.  We all learn from each other.

 

To make my self clear, I will put it this way.  I don't imagine that all learnings lead to positive resolve, but if the time is taken all learnings bring new awareness even if the information reinforces our right to disagree.  It is not about agreeing.  It is about listening and understanding.  We all know that we can agree to disagree, but it is paramount this decision is accompanied by respect and honor.

Psychological Resistance

 

 

 

 

Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is... The only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.

 

Dan Millman 

 

 

 

There is much in life we resist, primarily change that could possibly alter our comfort zone.  We like to feel safe as we can feel more creative and exploratory.  When unknown change abruptly appears, we meet it with resistance rather than facing what it brings. 

 

Even when the change has been initiated by our own merits, there is some element of risk.  The change may even be welcomed, but there will be a small part of us lingering in the familiar with the slightest resistance.

 

Resistance can be based in fear and lack of trust.  In life, change is a constant teacher.  The greater the resistance, the more complex the lesson becomes. We can strive to face change with an open heart and not simply react out of fear.

 

Every morning upon awakening, we can ask Spirit to help  us be alert to the challenges brought to us.  We can trust what is brought to us means us no harm, but deeper understanding of our selves and the world.  This does not mean condoning every change, but pausing to make decisions without fear.

 

Greeting life with resistance rather than trust keeps us in choppy waters instead of being in the flow.  It is like  trying to swim up stream, going against the current, and avoiding what will only resurface another time.  Resistance makes life more difficult and we are not as capable of remaining in alignment with body, mind, and spirit. 

 

We are referring to psychological resistance, not physical.  Psychological resistance is a choice based in fear.  Feelings that surface are often rooted in our past from other experiences.  These unresolved emotions from the past can easily distort our present reality.  This is why there is great importance in living in each moment ... not the past, and not the future ... in the present moment.

Congruent with Body, Mind, and Spirit

 

                                             

 

 

 

Flow with whatever is happening and let your mind be free.  Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing.  This is the ultimate.     ~ Chuang  Tzu

 

 

An oxymoron suiting me quite well is an "organized procrastinator".  There are areas in my life where I am highly detailed and disciplined, but other areas where I will put things off for absolutely no reason.  One minute totally focused and another minute drifting into unrestrained loftiness. 

 

This generates the conversation regarding being spontaneous and going with the flow or being disciplined so life has been lived to the maximum.  The obvious would be to balance discipline with spontaneity.  The not so obvious would to be so totally connected with the inner Spirit that we simply follow the guidance.  If we are truly in touch with our higher self, we can just allow life to unfold.

 

For a long time I stated I could only write the first thing of a morning.  I was very disciplined and wrote every morning.  As life has it, however, there were times my mornings were interrupted and I would wait until the next morning to write.  Put quite simply, this was nothing but an illusion.  It was a story I told myself and therefore became very rigid naming it discipline.  In reality, I can write any time I want to be disciplined to do it ... morning, afternoon, evening.  When I am connected to my inner Spirit, I know what is best for me to do.  If I am open to the idea of cleaning, I can sail through my tasks easily.  If I resist the nudge to do something, it grows heavy on my mind and I resist all the more.  Finally when I give in, I do the task begrudgingly and it takes on more time and displeasure. 

 

The point I am trying to make is this ... I want to be a verb for Spirit to use me when and where I can best contribute.  I want to maintain an awareness so I can be guided. By being congruent with body, mind, and spirit, I can be a force to create positive energy in what I do or where I go.  I can be an instrument bringing peace and calm.