Gifted Ugly Boots

"Time constricts and flattens, you know.

It's not evenly weighted.  Certain moments

linger in the mind and others disappear."

Christina Baker Kline

Orphan Train

There are many memories I have lavishly placed in my journal from a women's retreat out of state.  Undoubtedly, I have referred to it previously as it impacted me greatly.  There were many opportunities to be experienced through sharing stories with others, meditating as a group or solitude, walking on Indian sacred ground, cleansing with sage, and sitting in a circle of rituals within a tipi.  

During one meditation, we were lulled into a space of clarity awaiting a gift from the other side.  One could feel the anticipation within the group.  After a lengthy time, we returned to each other to share our experience.  One woman was gifted with an amazing crystal from an ancient soul.  Another was given a carved wooden box containing mystery.  Yet another received an ornate paint set to highlight her work.  Then there was me.  I was visited by a great grandmother who I have 'seen' in the past.  My gift from her was an old pair of boots.  She told me I needed to walk my talk.  

Although my gift was not as glamorous as some other experiences in the room, it really resonated within me.  I always knew I was a fore runner to help others on their journey, to speak my truth as encouragement, and to be involved with energy work.  Each seemed to compliment one and other.

My boots are old and well worn these days.  I sometimes wonder if it isn't time for me to pass them down to another, but then I get that gypsy urge to wander a little further.  I may be one who dies with her boots on!  Then again, as time expands and contracts, I might just walk into another realm.

The Promise Of A New Day

"Stop telling yourself

stories and lies."

Deborah Brothers

The desire to see someone who is my perfect image has been strong for years.  To gaze into a mirror at my own reflection doesn't offer the entire experience of being who I am.  I want to observe my mannerisms and posturing to capture my essence.  I want to hear the pitch of my voice and the sound of words as I speak them.  To view my body language would be a delightful insight into who I truly am, and not who I think I am.  I long for the awareness of my movement through this time and space labeled life.

I seek the round knob positioned just outside of the door to my soul.  I yearn to escape momentarily to capture a differing perspective.  What would it be like to absorb everything at once fully  integrated inside of the self?  

There are sharp pieces of  criticism stuck inside my bones, reminding me of negatives with every extension or turn.  Nerve endings fire up to counter  the blood turned cold by the harsh winds of life.  The sun offers beams to warm my soul, but there is a fear of melting entirely away.  It is only in the night when the moon beckons me to converse with the stars that my heart feels the promise of another day. 

Simply Take Action

"It's important that loving another person

doesn't take priority over listening

to yourself and knowing

what you need."

Thich Nhat Hanh

HOW TO LOVE

Women have been trained to acquiesce to the requests of men.  It takes years to give ourselves permission to decline a suggestion or directive.  Time lumbers on before we can say a simple no without feeling guilty or lesser than.  

As I harvest my journals, I find the spiral  continuing to swirl through this issue of prioritizing.  For years, everyone came first even if it were detrimental to my peace of mind.  At some level I insisted that going along would ensure peace, even though it never did.  The more I gave, the more was taken.

When we are depleted and desperate, we are willing to explore what is exhausting our nature, energy, and love.  Women have been taught it is selfish to put ourselves first.  We carry lists of responsibilities to others, and time is lost for identifying our own personal needs.  If our hopes and dreams were never recognized as a child, the greater the likelihood we will continue to be unaware of them.   

Shame, guilt, and embarrassment can easily repress our true desires.  Even when given the opportunity, we may feel foolish is expressing our longings.  We risk being laughed at and suffer rejection when not listened to.  We tell ourselves it is easier to remain silent.

There comes a day, hopefully not too late, to realize taking the easier road of silence leads to a longer road of suffering.  We have the right to speak our truth, even if we are wrong.  In voicing our opinion, we recognize our own value and our very words resonate through our being.

If we find ourselves unable to verbally express our feelings, we can creatively express our experiences through art.  We have numerous options, but we must follow through and choose.  Will listening to music or playing an instrument calm us?  Can we find peace through painting or drawing or writing?  Meditation or yoga are beneficial as well as just being outside, lost in nature.

Simply take action.  Let the movement bring us to a better place where we can feel alive, recognized and loved for our own unique existence. 

Ability to Restore

  "In reality, none of us are separate; 

we are all part of the same creation, 

drawing our strength, happiness, and fulfillment 

from the cosmic tree."

Eknath Easwaran

WORDS TO LIVE BY

It is easy to feel alone in a world highly populated world.  A sense of separateness can be experienced even though others are gathered around us.  As an island onto ourselves we can be overwhelmed by isolation and  the beauty and strength available cannot be seen nor appreciated.

There is great importance in spending time alone, exploring our inner nature and discovering pockets of synchronicity and magic, but when taken to the extreme, our spirits can no longer thrive in the depleted energy.  As authentic human beings, we were each created to bring gifts into the world.  We were intended to share with each other and to assist everyone in gaining prosperity.  Although competition can be a motivator, it was not meant to be the driving force of all things.  

On the other hand, we were not meant to be drones lacking creativity and inspiration.  We would have been created as clones if this had been the intention.  Instead, we were given free will to express our ways creatively in private and in union.  

When we lean too far towards isolation, our spirit is stifled; whereas, if we extend too far towards others, our spirit is spent.  Moderation, enjoying personal time supplemented by sharing with others creates a balance of our energies.  When we are able to manage this ebb and flow, our lives become harmonious with all living things.  We are increasingly aware of the beauty surrounding us and we breathe in its energy.  With compassion we are willing to be a presence for others without draining our energy dry.

Separateness is simply a story we tell ourselves in great detail.  We may have numerous volumes on the subject even though this is all fiction.  We cannot be totally isolated as Divine is available to us if we simply choose to look beyond our illusions.  Renewal transforms us through the presence of all things created ... trees, birds, skies, breezes, sun, stars, and moon. Simply breathe in and feel restored.

Being God's Love

and she had love

and she gave love.

and when she was really present -

she was love.

terri st. cloud

bone sigh arts

Our sense of unworthiness convinces us there is a separation between ourselves and any thing deemed holy.  This makes it difficult to know the love of the Divine.  In the wrinkles of time when life is temporarily perfect we believe all is well in all the kingdoms of the world.  We can easily see the goodness inside and outside ourselves and others.  As the veils fall back into place, however, we lose sight of our own shining light and distance our selves from the burning lights of others.

Once we grasp the concept of unconditional love, we welcome the Divine into our lives and bask in the joy of knowing this love.  When the world turns and a shadow is cast, we cling to the notion that we still remain in the presence of Spirit.  

We must share the love of the Divine, by passing it on.   The more we find ourselves extending love, the faster it is replenished.  We find ourselves blessed as it never runs out. We become mindful of our actions and extend acts of kindness towards others. 

We come to know God's love through compassion for ourselves and others.  This love becomes a natural gesture in life and we simply become God's love.    

Connection Everywhere

"You know what music is?  God's little reminder 

that there's something else besides us in the universe;   

harmony connection between all living beings, 

every where, even the stars."

Robin Williams

August Rush, 2007

Robin Williams was an unforgettable person.  He will be remembered for excelling in diverse rolls, and for his outstanding  human acts of kindness towards others.  Robin Williams did not know a stranger.  He embraced all beings no matter what position they happened to be in his life.  He respected others and was head strong in wanting to make others laugh.  It has been said, he was determined to make others happy so they would not have to experience the loneliness he held inside.

We forget we are all vulnerable no matter how many gifts and talents we may have.  

When I scan through the movies Robin Williams made, the characters he played always made a deep impression upon me.  So when I think of this man, it is like looking at a crystal as there are so many sides to him.  I believe he had a very deep understanding and an exceptional ability to relate to others.

Admittedly, Robin Williams made me very nervous whenever he was interviewed.  His energy was so far off the charts, I would mentally be yelling at him to breathe.  To be running full throttle constantly will surely burn a person out.  And that is how I recall this man, as a shooting star streaking across the sky leaving a trail of stardust.  I believe he encourages us to live to the fullest in harmony with others, leaving no one behind.

Decorating The Inner World

"I feel so intensely the delights of shutting oneself up in a little world

of one's own, with pictures and music and everything beautiful."

Virginia Woolf, The Voyage Out

The more I integrate into all parts of myself, the more connected I feel to the unseen.  Odd, to grow stronger only to withdraw more into my own little world.  What could be better than surrounding oneself with silence, nourishment, books, pen, and paper.  

In silence, I listen for the words not spoken and imagine how my life might be, if they were to escape to the surface.  If they were released, would they paint my world with happiness and illuminate my desires or would they be like small dead birds hitting an unseen wall.

My spirit is comforted by the words of ancient writers, as the wisdom is not bound by passing time nor daunting future.  If I wear the heavy shadow of my past, or a sketchy veil of my future, I remain who I am.   Just being me in the moment, they say it is enough; but, I wonder.  

So, I remain in my intricate world where things are ornately beautiful and silence is filled by the  sounds of nature.   Peace and calm surround me and compassion fills my heart.  My words drip from my fingertips filling empty pages, and at times a glimpse of wisdom hangs in the air eventually absorbed by the rays of the sun. 

Nocturnal Rewards

"The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.

Don't go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want.

Don't go back to sleep."

Rumi

Many women experience a waking period disrupting a night of sleep..  They get frustrated, cranky,  or flop around struggling with a pillow or twisted sheet.  This time, however, can be best used by asking a simple question and waiting for an answer.  The answer may register directly or present itself in a following dream.  ts.

In the middle of the night, without reason, we are snatched from out sleeping state.  There hasn't been an unusual noise in the house or any disruption from outside.  Some believe the moment is deliberate, especially when there is a full moon.

There are women who will get up from bed and start to journal without a particular theme or choose an insightful book to idly pass the time.  Each woman become surprised as they come  across a synchronized piece of information believing it is more easily received without the normal earthly distractions. 

When we utilize this unexpected space in time, we can begin to view it as sacred.   We can be creative in our reaction or we can be a silent listener.  The most difficult task is to remember to take advantage of this nocturnal time.  When we do remember to be open to possibility, we will deep the rewards.

Filled With Dreams

We all need something that sets our hearts on fire!  To decipher our passion and to channel it into form can be  adventurous, thrilling, and life extending.   We demonstrate contagious enthusiasm, lighting sparks in all who gather near us.  When we share our passion, we feel a live with a connection to all things imaginable and unimaginable.  

Even if we do not fully understand a person's passion, the excitement dancing in their eyes pulls us in towards the magic building in their soul.  We can become lost in their imagination and suspended in the possibilities of our own creation.  

  

With contemplation, we can determine our heart's desire and create what we envision as a gift to our world. Discard any sorrow lingering in the corner of the eye, and replace it with hope. Life is filled with dreams and we can make them come true!

And So May It Be

"Do not stray into the neighborhood of despair.

For there are hopes:  they are real, they exist - "

 Rumi

Violence is paramount in all forms of media.  Our hearts can easily be filled with despair.  We begin to live our lives in fear and our minds become filled with horrific visions.  It is important for us to learn to balance our viewing, what we read, and say, with positive input.  

Really, it is quite simple.  If we choose to see darkness in the world, we will see darkness.  If we focus on goodness, then we will be reinforced with light.  When we remain centered, our inner flame attracts the light of others.  We create a world of goodness around us.  This does not mean we are not faced with challenges, but we can surmount them with greater learning when we do not get pulled into drama and darkness.

What will you contribute to our world, a bright light or dark fear?  In the words of Andrew Harvey:

"May the Light of the Heart be revealed in all of us, and may we all, united in and by Divine Love, transform together the conditions of life on earth."  

And so may it be.

The Damage of Resentment

"Resentment is one of the strongest

and most damaging of human emotions."

John Holland

When we do not use our voice, we disrespect our selves and deny our reactions.  It is an illusion that feelings just go away.  They are repressed and they find a spot within to hide.  Unexpressed desires or beliefs accumulate inside of us taking a toll on our health, our relationships, and our spiritual outlook.

Resentment grows as our feelings are denied or unheard.  The heart closes and we begin to distance ourselves from others.  Anger builds as we fall deeper into isolation.  We might as well imprint a "KEEP OUT" sign on our chest.

Our goal is to prevent damage by finding healthy outlets for our feelings.  If we cannot safely speak our words to one person, perhaps there is another willing to listen.  When we are embarrassed and decide not to share our story with others, we can release our built up emotions through creative projects or appropriate exercise.  We can discover calm through meditation or yoga.  The key is to remain balanced.

We have choices no matter what situation we find ourselves in.  We are aware of  what choice we have to make, but find ourselves avoiding it out of fear of the unknown.  It is a temptation to stay in discomfort rather than step through the illusion of fear; but in the long run, embracing change will lead us to better opportunity.

Favorite Kind of Day

    My To Do List For Today:

*  Count my blessings * Practice kindness

*  Let go of what I cannot control

*  Listen to my heart

*  Be productive, yet calm

*  Just breathe

    Julian Lennon

There is no agenda for today which is my favorite kind of day.  I do not feel any pressure to get dressed, go anywhere, or do any particular thing.  I gather my books and journal and head for a quiet spot where the fireplace can be seen easily.  Lost in thought, I sip my coffee and begin to thank my lucky stars for the freedom to be me.

In my journal, I record all of the current blessings coming my way, and I write in detail all of the gratitude I feel in my heart.  I lazily, but impeccably jot down the dreams from the night time passed. I ponder over symbols and implications of my night time fantasies, hoping a meaningful message will bounce to the surface.

Three new books set upon my lap:  MIND WHISPERING by Tara Bennett-Goleman; FEELING WISDOM by Rob Preece; and IN PURSUIT OF SILENCE by George Prochnik.  I am hoping for my mind to stretch and grow, and have new insightful thoughts from passages I read.  There is nothing quite like being lost in thoughts that do not contain violence, crisis, anger and doom.  

Yes, today I will remain in my little bubble of warmth and good thoughts.  I will listen to my heart, stay calm,  and practice kindness to me.  There is nothing to control except my coffee, and I just have to remember to breathe! 

Dwarf the Lovely Experience

"You were always stronger than

your fear and pain."

Bryant McGill

Emotional development is frequently hampered by life experiences.  We are wounded and our heart nor our mind forgets.  We tend to build up barriers to keep others out, thinking we will never be hurt again.  This story we tell ourselves is not true.  Our barriers may keep others outside, but they also keep our pain inside as well.

Over time, layers of pain continue to build as we attempt to repress them.  We falsely believe we are better by being 'above' basic feelings of anger or rage, but in reality, we are doing ourselves more harm.

The ideal process is to feel the pain, and then let it go before it gets stuck and thickened by additional emotion.  In this way, we will not grow weary of the need to be strong, manning the fort.  We can more or less flow through life with far less baggage to pull us down.

Changes continue to bombard us with emotions, and not all of them are bad, but armor deflects the good along with the bad.  We need to be in a receiving and giving mode, to interact with all levels of emotion and we won't do this by hiding.  By creating barriers, we can become stagnant, embittered, and dwarf the lovely experience life was meant to be.

Barefoot Connection

"When we are in contact with the earth, meaning our skin is either touching the ground or we are not standing or wearing something electrically inhibiting (wood, rubber, plastic), the earth's electrons are conducted to our body.  We then are brought to the same electric potential as the earth.  This is also referred to as grounding.  RENEE KIRSTEN


In my community, there is a very interesting woman I have known for many years.  She is impressive in her healing abilities, educational background, and insights.  She once told me she began every day by standing outside in her bare feet upon Mother Earth, connecting with the energy that was there.  She shared she could feel it coursing through her feet and up into her calves, thighs, etc ...  This was a very rewarding ritual for her.

I, too, have spent many times bare footed upon this earth, but in the winter, not so much.  I will admit, however, there are unexpected times I have found myself shocked by the coldness under the soles of my feet as  I run the garbage out or try to coax my stubborn hound inside,

The frigid temperature of the ground slams against the bottoms of my feet.  The suddenness seems to say, "Remember, I am here!"  I can gently relax into the arching energy pulsing from below.  Which was once ice cold turns into a warm embrace spreading through my welcoming body.  There is nothing like connecting with our lovely Mother Earth.

Shades of Gray

"We stand shivering at the door,

terrified and panicked

that we have lost the key.

We waste lifetimes

in the waiting

because in the haze

the painted fog

of our fear,

we forget

to check the handle

and discover

it has never been locked

at all."

Tyler Knott Gregson

If we would continually evolve our concept of love, Valentine's Day wouldn't be dreaded by so many. As it is, this day promotes anxiety and stress while accenting the awareness of being alone.  In truth, love abounds when we can broaden our visions of love to more than just romantic fantasy.  

Love comes in all kinds of containers and can be deeply experienced in diverse ways.  When we are rigid in defining what love looks like or feels like, we are robbing ourselves of pleasure.  If we focus on ways to make our selves happy, we each become responsible for a very special day.

If we define Valentine's Day as a fancy dinner out, then we can treat our lovely selves and invite a friend. If we define this heart day as a movie date with hot buttered popcorn, go to the show whether alone or not. If we imagine a divine evening with a glass of wine and a good read, then snuggle in  a comforter in front of a fire place.

If we are thinking, "This is not a real Valentine's Day," then we are rigidly confining this day of happiness into a day of shear distress.  Gather some friends, create some home made valentines and leave them in random mailboxes.  Meet some kindred spirits at a coffee shop and bring some candy kisses to be handed out to others.  Throughout the day, wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day!

When we start giving rather than sitting back and waiting to receive, love abounds.  It really is a matter of perspective and how we want to color our day.  So which is it?  Are we going to use shades of gray or an array of bright colors!  Truly, the choice is ours.

To Love And Be Loved

"The greatest happiness of life

is the conviction that we are loved;

loved for ourselves, or rather,

loved in spite of ourselves."

Victor Hugo

There are numerous concepts about love, such as loving your self before attempting to love others. This concept reflects a person will never believe somebody else loves them if they do not have a sense of their personal value.  This creates the specific challenge to allow the self to be vulnerable
and not hide imperfections.

This may sound daunting and yet it occurs routinely. Aspects of life are dramatically irregular and we seem to take them in stride without judgment.  In fact, abnormalities are frequently embraced as artistic expression or individualized characteristics.  We have the tendency to be more forgiving of others than ourselves.

A gardner digs in the soil as a librarian is intrigued by new books. Neither are concerned with perfection as much as curiosity.  An artist dabbles in paint as a poet plays with words. Both anticipate   the creativity resulting from expression.  Any development is a process requiring patience and time.

If we allow ourselves to have broader vision, to see the total value, we can better accept both weakness and strength.  This applies to self-exploration as well. When we embrace all parts of our selves in this very moment, we create a sense of worth.  We begin to love ourselves and respect the love of others.

Both Sides of A Story

"He was a secretive man, who kept his own counsel.  He was an ambitious man of humble origins, with colossal designs on the future.  And it would always be advantageous not to be closely known, never to be transparent. Passing a farmer on a day, he would tip his hat and grin.  Everybody knew him.  Nobody knew him.  He would play the fool, the clown, the melancholy poet dying for love, the bumpkin.  He would take the world by stealth and not by storm.  He would disarm enemies by his apparent naiveté, by seeming pleasantly harmless.  He would go to such lengths in making fun of his own appearance that others felt obliged to defend it.   

 Daniel Mark Epstein, The Lincolns:  Portrait of a Marriage

A few women I shared time with in a writers circle, were well versed in their history, or should I say their southern version of history.  There were twelve of us and I was one of the youngest by fifteen years.  Their downplaying of Abraham Lincoln was so apparent I hesitated to disclose I once lived in a town named Lincoln.  As these were genteel women, they never really got into name calling, but their derogatory references clearly displayed what army they stood by. 

Having lived the majority of my life in the north, I was somewhat taken aback by the lack of honor for Lincoln.  I just never thought any differently, and therein lies the problem. In the presence of these southern belles,  I opened my heart and closed my mouth. I began to understand a new perspective.  I, of course, did not embrace it, but I understood it.  Ignorance is avoided and compassion instilled when one listens to both sides of a story.

I have never really thought about Abraham Lincoln without simultaneously thinking of freedom and slavery.  The few men I admire politically held and hold  the same sense of equality dear.  How many presidents, leaders, wars and human sacrifices will we spiral through before the concept of freedom is clearly in place?

 

The Need to Filter

"As we live we will go through the processes 

of opening to new information, integrating it, 

and stabilizing our worldview."

Madisyn Taylor

With modern day technology, we have access to unlimited information and growing awareness of daily events occurring most anywhere in the world.  We are surrounded by dramatic reports, traumatic footage, and sound bites of hysteria.  The overabundance of constant negativity has taken an impact upon our Western Culture.  

It is unfortunate that we no longer sensor information streaming into our brain. Not all reporting is accurate, and we are shown what has been singled out by a person who certainly has their own bias.  

Unfortunately, magazines and newspapers do not sell if loving kindness is spread across the page.  The editors supply the buyers with what they seek ... sensationalism, scandal, and abnormal life styles.  What is viewed is air brushed, taken out of context, or falsely presented.

The solution is not to turn our brains off or to look the other way.  We do not want to be ignorant of the changes across the world, our country, our state and the community we live in.  We can, however, become a filter for the information we choose to digest.  We can limit our intake and check sources.  We can support the resource of our choice and then turn it off.  We don't need to be bombarded all day long by drama and tragedy.  Whether we are actively watching or not, our brain continues to absorb the background noise as well as our little ones innocently playing near by.

The more concrete information we gather, the better we can stabilize our viewpoint without judgment of others.  We can feel secure in what we choose to believe, and allow others the same courtesy.  It is vitally important, however, to leave our mind open so that it can ebb and flow as times change.  We don't want to be rigid or stuck in the past.

The Wounded Heart of Western Culture

"Indeed, it is our ordinary mind, with its

emotional entanglements, that closes us

off from the essential heart mind which 

is essentially clear, peaceful, and natural

compassion and loving-kindness."

Rob Preece

FEELING WISDOM

Author Rob Preece addresses cut off heart energy in his book FEELING WISDOM.  He reflects upon our very life style in the Western culture.  The way we live applies a subtle level of pain and depression which manifests in insecurity, anxiety, and unhappiness.

In American lifestyles, at a very early age we experience great expectations.  We experience separation from our mom with pressure to be independent and self-reliant.  Our environment 

reveres extreme competition while driven to succeed.  Our communities are disintegrating and our families are dysfunctional which plays right into fear, insecurity and anxiety becoming the root of emotional drive.

According to Preece, if we find ourselves to be self-absorbed and thriving on personal gratification at the expense of others, we have a deep rooted wounding. Our wounded pathology of the heart has become a cultural normality.  Our wounded heart leads us to problematic relationships with others resulting in feelings of sadness and loneliness. This blocks us from experiencing any true sense of heart connection.

To resolve the wounded heart, we once again turn within, shifting false self-images and quieting the harsh critic.  We follow a path inward towards our personal wisdom of who we really are, and who we were truly meant to be...a loving human spirit extending and receiving love.

The Non-Verbal Realm

"Trauma is not what happens to us,

but what we hold inside

in the absence of an empathetic witness."

Peter Levine

IN AN UNSPOKEN VOICE

Currently, I have been working on a presentation about Articulating Silence which embraces concepts about learning to listen to the authentic voice, unwrapping layers of emotional triggers, and the power of personal voice.  Peter Levine discusses this in his book, IN AN UNSPOKEN VOICE, stating, "The key to healing, he argues, is to be found in the 'deciphering of this nonverbal realm.'"

There are many differing levels of trauma and as one experiences it without verbalizing it in some way, the experience creates an inner vulnerable place.  This place is like sticky like glue collecting all future emotions similar to what was felt during the trauma experience creating grooves in side of us.  These patterns are run over and over again, reenforcing the negative emotions still trapped inside.  We are triggered by something similar to our trauma whether it is taste, smell, touch, hearing or seeing.  Our body responds from numbness to freezing emotionally.

These unaddressed vulnerable areas may or may not be recognized as such, as many individuals go into an automatic pilot to withdraw or isolate, fight or flight, or dissociate.  These combustable emotions must go somewhere and at some point be addressed.

Professional intervention is always helpful, but depending upon the level of trauma, there are other ways of recognizing and releasing the emotions.  A person does not have to 're-live' the trauma in order to release it.  One must discern the vulnerability and the negative emotions encompassing it.  Body work or energy work is very helpful in eliminating repression.  Some people may experience a release through artistic expression, meditation, or sharing with a compassionate friend.  Again, one does not have to relate the exact experience.  The focus is on recognizing the disharmony within, discerning the trapped emotions, and voicing them for release.  When we are able to allow a compassionate listener to witness our tender emotions, we soon begin to realize we are not alone and there is a community of others like us.  

Internal Excavation

"I will not leave a corner of my consciousness covered up,

but saturate myself with the strange and extraordinary 

new conditions of this life, and it will refine itself

into poetry later on."

Isaac Rosenberg

Flexibility greatly enhances our progress in moving forward with change.  If we cling to what is familiar, and resist what is new, we will surely flounder.  When we close our lovely selves off, we no longer learn.  We can become stagnant in our thinking and even in our routines.  

We spend so many years seeking an identity outside of ourselves, ultimately moving further away from our authentic nature.  The divide can grow so wide, we can eventually isolate ourselves from our inner connection with life, nature, and Spiritual relationship.

Ideally, we will find ourselves in a position to do some internal excavating, digging up old rotted roots, and tossing garbage we no longer need.  When we uncover these areas within, we can allow light or change to flow inwards, helping us to thrive, stretch and grow.

Within The Silence, Creation Speaks

"Art is an act of tuning in and dropping down the well.

It is as though all the stories, paintings, music, and 

performances in the world live just under the surface

of our nomad consciousness."

Julia Cameron

Creative expression continues to amaze me.  There are times I make numerous attempts to appease my desire to create.  Whether it is water color, sketching, or writing, when I am forcing myself towards some form of outcome, my well runs dry.  Nothing seems to blend, fit, or follow a common thread.  Many 'do overs' can be involved.  Conversely, when I allow myself to be led, to not have an agenda, the magic just flows.  

Where inspiration originates is never really clear to me, but the joy of releasing color, design, and words and watching them flow together is a joy!  Just copying the expression of others does not produce this authentic feeling.  I recognize the need to get out of my own way, and let the artist in me flow out onto the paper.  My critic needs to be in some sort of time out chair, so I can deeply listen for authentic guidance.

The unique part of these experiences is although creative expression is coming through me from an unidentifiable source, I also sense the presence of my higher self integrated into the expression, whatever it may be. 

We all have a creative genius hovering beneath our surface, waiting to be unleashed and to give expression in this world.   The key is to drop our agendas and to become still, as it is within the silence that creation speaks.

The Answer Is Within

"The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego,

the second half is going inward and letting go of it."

Carl Jung

It can occur at any stage of life.  We can be at the top of our game or running into a wall.  At some point, however, we realize we no longer know who we are.  We feel disconnected, uncomfortable, and lost.  No longer are we even certain in which direction to go.  The answer, of course, is within.

There comes a point in time we feel desperate enough to address the unidentified longing we have been ignoring for years.  We are called to face the yearning we can no longer douse with pleasure, work or other distractions.

We are in need of a cleansing from outgrown ideas, ill fitting roles, and excess baggage.  We scrub ourselves with forgiveness, compassion, and unconditional love.  When we are fresh and clean, we are careful to wrap ourselves in layers that truly reflect who we are.  Slowly we begin to acquire a new sense of self, but it takes time, patience, and solitude.

There will be areas of our lives we will want to expand and then some we will want to release.  Our energy will flow more fluidly and the joy of discovery will create a new sense of belonging.  We will be aligned with body, mind, and soul, hearing our inner voice say, "Welcome home!"

When Vision Blurs

"With an eye made quiet by the power

Of harmony, and the deep power of joy,

We see into the life of things."

William Wordsworth

Most of us are people watchers, but not all of us absorb the beauty of life surrounding us.  We forget there is depth to all things and depending upon our level of perception, there is much to be seen. When we are conflicted, we are distracted and notice less.  When our emotions are balanced and we are in harmony with life, we are more likely to see the wonders in the world.

If we happen to be sitting in the sun, lost in deep thought, our vision might blur slightly and colors can take on movements.  If we remain in a relaxed state and open our minds to the vibrancy dancing in the sun light, we will be pleasantly amazed. We will feel a warm connection with all things.

If we are staring into the flame of a candle or a roaring fire, lost in thought, we may become aware of shapes shifting in the fire.  If we relax our eyes and let out thoughts follow into the energy of the fire, we may notice deep thoughts of wisdom or awareness or love entering our minds.

So when we learn to quiet our minds, our eyes can speak to us more clearly.  They willingly show us daily delights we normally pass by.  Just gazing at a flower, when we are a resident of joy, we may see petals unfold displaying even more depth.  Then there is always a spider web, a daydreamer's delight.  Oh the things we can see when we are quiet and our eyes can show it all!

Long Time Coming

"When the soul becomes quiet,

you feel nourished."

Swami Chidvilasananda

The sun was shining today which makes everything right in my world.  Inspired by the sunshine, I  joyfully wrote all morning long.  Of course, this involves resourcing favorite authors, special quotes, and comments I have journaled throughout the years.  To be surrounded by words linked makes a lovely place to be.

The afternoon was reserved for finishing a book of fiction which had kept me intrigued.  I then tended to a few things around the house, leaving plenty of time to just sit and be.  Outside, I let the sunshine warm my face and listened to the birds hoping for spring.  I breathed in the gentle air, and pushed everything dark outside of me.   

By the day's end, I felt buoyant and free.  Nothing nurtures me more than words, books, and outdoors.   My routine is intentionally slow paced, so I can absorb these simple pleasures of life.  Like just being me.  It has been a long time coming, this part about being me.

Fear, the Achilles Heal

"Welcome Challenges.

Don't Make Them Into Enemies!"

Eckhart Tolle

If we remain mindful life is a series of lessons, we can be like a student preparing, studying, and maintaining a balance of play, work, and sleep.  Life is more manageable if we slow down and take notice of what bothers us before it becomes full blown resistance.  When we witness our thinking, we usually find fear as the little pebble digging into our achilles heal.  The more rigid our thoughts, the less likely we will be able to complete lessons in a timely manner.

Life is very much like nature.  There are rhythms and patterns we automatically accept like seasons, sunsets, and  moon phases; but, we rarely glide through the stages of life as easily.  We somehow have distorted expectations or limitations assigned to aging and by doing this we make enemies out of  natural unfolding. 

When we embrace the gift hidden in each day, we are more likely to stay focused in the present.  We do not waste time regretting the past and avoid overwhelming predictions of the future.  We have no guarantee as to when our lives will end, so why be investing in tomorrows which wastes this day in the process?  

Welcome challenges, and do not let fear cloud the gifts of the situation.  Let faith sustain us until we discover the meanings, without making anyone or anything into an enemy.

Full Capacity To Imagine

"Perhaps man has a hundred senses, and when he dies

only the five senses that we know perish with him,

and the other ninety-five remain alive."

Anton Chekhov

Death is not something I fear, as I believe only my physical body will run out of time.  I also believe time is an illusion, so there is no reason for me not to carry on in another form of energy vibration or differing frequency.  I respect the thoughts and concepts of others, hoping they will return the favor.

If we truly use only five percent of our brain, it is easy for me to entertain the thought of using only five senses out of ninety five.  We are creatures of extreme possibility with realms, visions, and perceptions barely explored.  I ponder the effect of  past lives, the significance of present lives, and project images of future lives.  In addition, however, I think of parallel lives and flimsy veils between other worlds.    

I have been blessed with great creativity and a working brain.  My mind is awash with brightly colored concepts and abstract patterns.  Symbols do not always have tangible meaning, and yet they trigger a sense of knowing within.  My heart feels differing depths of  places where  the brain cannot fully understand.  I have learned to embrace the unknown.  My fear has dissipated, and my resistance has dissolved, leaving me with full capacity to imagine.  

Library, The Perfect Lover

"If you read a book a week from age 5 to age 80,

you will have read 0.01%

of all books in print."

Lewis Buzbee

A library can be the perfect lover.  Some are quite like an historical era or even a large collage of art, while others may have a sense of mystery or a certain kind of smell.  They can provide information on any subject while offering a cubby hole for privacy and a smuggled cup of Chai tea.  A person can wander up and down aisle after aisle gently running fingers across tight or misshapen spines.  There is an array of color to choose from, and differences in size or shape to say nothing of the wide selection of prints.  The style of a font can set the tone of an entire book.  

A library offers quiet, but safety.  When a person becomes bored, he or she can find yet one more embrace as a newly discovered aisle opens.   This lover is not stingy either, as you can select quite a few pieces to bring home with you.  Once home in a comfy reading chair, covered with a nostalgic quilt in front of the fireplace, exploration of books can lead the reader most anywhere.

The library, as a lover, welcomes the reader back unconditionally, eager to display many more new views.  There is no need to check in, make reservations or utter small talk.  There is independence based on a source of security.  Of course, if one brings a book back disheveled in any way ... creased pages, ripped covers, or simply not on time ... there is a price to pay!