Peace or Silence

 

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”  Rumi

Keeping peace does not mean swallowing your truth or avoiding conflict. What we repress begins to show up in physical discomfort … clenched jaw, pounding headache, anxiety and so on. This is not peace, it is a form of silence stifling our true self. Tension flows over into healthy relationships creating further discord.We then discover that we are disappearing.

From an early age, we believe that silence is respectful and in certain situations it can be. But we can address conflict in an honorable way using our voice. Phrases such as I feel or I believe is a reflection of the self. We are not preaching, simply reflecting our thoughts. We can use a neutral voice sharing our perspective, and avoid a challenging atmosphere.

Peace is maintained by continuously being in touch with our own presence. Do we even know what we believe or are we allowing others to dictate how we feel? It is best to listen to others opinions without judgement. Peace is fueled by updating perspectives and releasing what we have outgrown. When we are at peace with ourselves we can thrive in our silence.

Color of Nature

 

“Nature always wears the color of Spirit.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Recently, I was blessed to be taken on a surprise getaway. The first part of the trip, I drove in solitude thinking of all the years I had traveled this road. I greeted the tall and sturdy trees lining both sides of the interstate knowing they had faced fires, ice, and general neglect. They greeted me like Spirit’s private angels.

The second part, Spirit sang to me through the waves of the ocean. Mesmerized by the consistent motion of the water and cleansing sounds, I was lulled into a deep peace. I could feel my body unfold as I embraced the waves as though each one were an old friend, rushing to hug and love me.

The last part, I was hugged by the sun. Sand crusted on my feet while salt water dried on my lips. My eyes teared watching my loved ones play. So many years I have loved these humans, knowing our life times had crossed before. Generations bonding together creating the best colors of nature … spiritual peace and love.

Layers

 “Faith means living with uncertainty, feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide your life like a lantern in the park.” Dan Millman  

It does not matter how good of a person we are, troubling challenges happen. To be a part of the human experience includes the ability to navigate hardship. If we make bad choices, we will have a negative experience. If we react with kind heartedness, the challenge is the same, but the result may not lead us into victimhood.

Allowing fear to distract us from having faith in our skills and abilities cripples our endeavors. If we backslide into memories of past mishaps, our inner energies will not be used for moving forward. Life is a process meant to be a collection of lessons learned through trial and error. Maintaining awareness of our patterns of behavior assists in positive progression. 

When we maintain a spiritual connection in both good and challenging times, communication flows with inspiration for problem solving. Healing may come in stages but each one will be forming a healthy layer to support us. Trust that spirit will lead us out of darkness, lighting the way to a healthy and productive life beyond current distractions.

Belonging In Nature

"Nature is a mirror, inspiring us, teaching us, and deepening our 

sense of belonging in the world."

Madisyn Taylor

We are naturally drawn to nature whether we see a tiny bird perched in a tree or a sly fox scampering across the road. Unfortunately, we utilize the delight found in nature on neighborhood walks or on the weekend get-a-way. But nature is always present, waiting for us to notice the depth, beauty and peace awaiting us.

Nature can be experienced in the rush of white-water rafting or meditating outside in a garden. There is magic in the stars and moon and brilliant wonder in illuminating sunshine or the grace of the setting sun. There is inspiration in the unfolding of the budded flower or the ripening of the fruit hanging from its vine.

There is inspiration waiting throughout nature. Birds protect and feed their babies in a nest and mama bears settle their cubs in a disclosed cave. Hummingbirds illustrate patience and control while caterpillars shed to unfold into the flight of the butterfly. And humans, they exchange tenderness caring for all aspects of nature discovering deep connection.

 

Strength in Vulnerability

 

          “We often think that vulnerability is a kind of weakness, but there’s a kind of              vulnerability that is actually strength and presence.” Ram Dass

If we are fear based we consistently maintain watch for things going wrong or people taking advantage of us. We may hide and project what we believe others to want or need from us. If we believe in ourselves and ability to navigate in life, we can choose to hold ourselves open to the gifts of others and to experiences enriching our lives.

Being open does not mean to be stupidly open, but ability to be flexible with our boundaries. The more we embrace the unknown we not only learn, we open to deeper meanings. Rather than being stuck in automatic pilot, there is room to slow down for new landscapes and developing perceptions.

Being vulnerable means we do not know all of the answers and remain brave enough to discover what we do know might not be completely accurate. Holding ourselves open, we can grow stronger in our own sense of self and determine how to release and gain higher knowledge to truly become who we have always been meant to be.

Keys Open Doors

 

"Don't give up. Normally it is the last key on the right which opens the door."

Paulo Coelho

Even when our hands hold the keys to all of the doors we need to open, locks can get jammed or changed. We may feel as though we obtain all of the power needed to be attained for successful living, and yet chances are good we are wrong. There are scenarios where our future shifts just because we lost one key element.

Digging through the junk drawer, we may come across a key ring that has numerous keys. Some look familiar but we cannot remember exactly what they open. The same is true of our thoughts lodged in our memories. Once they may have seemed vital, but now we cannot recall their significance. 

We may have found numerous keys throughout our life. with some opening to opportunity while others opened to grief and sorrow. Then unexpectedly, a key turns a lock to the unexpected and goodness comes flooding in. The importance of having keys is finding what they unlock and how to unlock it!

FULL BUCK Moon

"The Full Buck Moon symbolizes growth and gaining inner strength

to overcome difficult obstacles."

Amber Mitchell

Human beings can be resilient. In times of emergency, people have been known to do remarkable things that they would never seem to do in day-to-day life. Certain individuals may lead a lack-luster life until they discover their passion which triggers exceptional exerted energy. 

The full Buck Moon symbolizes growth and gaining inner strength to overcome obstacles and achieving difficult goals. It is a time to remember our personal power and vitality. Challenges are not meant to stop us, but to inspire us to pursue solutions resulting in a higher sense of accomplishments.

This may be a good time to sit with our inner selves and evaluate our interests and productivity. We can inventory what clutter needs to be cleared so that new inspiration can come through. When we explore our true nature, we are reminded that we are capable of doing so much more than just living a mediocre life. 

Found Gifts

 

"In the tapestry of life, we're all connected. Each one of us is a gift to those around 

us helping each other be who we are, weaving a perfect picture together."

Anita Moorjani

Growing up in Chicago, diversity was a given. Various churches, dwellings, food options and languages. It was quite obvious that people were different. No one really dressed the same and there were a very broad range of interests. This is not to say there weren't slurs, inappropriate actions and imaginary divides.

Walking down a city street, it was very unlikely to see someone you knew. Perhaps this was where I developed the habit of looking into people's faces. Curious of the variety of people, wondering where they came from and where they were going flooded my mind. Besides, it was always good be aware of those around you.

I believe life is like a tapestry of varied colored threads. At the heart of the matter, I sense there are strong connections between all strangers, just waiting to be discovered. If we would seek similarities or remarkable artistic and skillful differences, our lives would be filled with amazing gifts found in each other.

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Not Quite the Same ...

"In reality, we are still children. We want to find a playmate

for our thoughts and feelings."

Wilheim Stekel 

There is such freedom in childhood activities and less stress interacting with friends. It is not like a club where you have to complete an entry form and pay for access. Whether you shoot a few hoops or cool off on the swing, there a very few formalities.

When we change locations or retire, some of our associates may not make the shift with us. As we engage with new interests we meet more like-minded people. No dress codes and previous employment may not necessarily be an asset. 

Just sitting on the porch with a cool night's breeze, our mind wanders back to the squeals of laughter, running through the spray of a hose, or a simple game of hide and seek. Somehow joining the YMCA just isn't quite the same.  

Meeting of the Minds

"The most important person you meet in life is your highest self."

Matshona Dhliwayo 

During a Reiki training, my Reiki Master Morris asked if we knew the definition of a guru. Several responded with flowing description. Then he shared his definition ... gee, you, are you. There was no mistake in that he never held one person above another. He believed we each had something to learn as well as share.

There is great comfort in exchanging knowledge with others, but they are not to be worshipped. An enlightened human never pontificates himself or herself. They teach and share with the intention of assisting us reach stronger connections with our higher selves. With the recognition of our higher self, we will be propelled forward. 

There are those I hold in the highest esteem and feel humbled by his or her presence. But this is not to diminish myself. I may not have their gifts, but I do have my own. It is the blending together where the meeting of the minds elevates individual contribution impacting the life of all peoples in united peace and goodwill.

Breaking Regulation

"Whatever you are not changing you are choosing."

Laurie Buchanan 

We are born with guard rails on our crib, fences in the yard, and boundaries implanted in our baby minds. We are raised with rules, family patterns and structures to keep us safe. In time, we accept the limitations of being boxed in. We actually become uncomfortable if we do not establish railings on either side.

One day the confines finally feel just too tight and the urge to break out demands attention. Where do we begin our expansion? Do we defy authority, break a dress code, run away emotionally or kick down that which binds us? There is a feeling of being just too small and our energy surges.

Exiting whatever tunnel there may have been, we find an opening at the end leading to expansion. As our heart is set free, our mind is flooded with artistic expression, and our souls are lifted into a lofty surge. We may ponder "who am I".  And isn't that just the point ... realization that we are so much more and exciting choices need to be made.

 

Going Solo

"It is easy to stand with the crowd.

It takes courage to stand alone."

Mahatma Gandhi

We become exhausted while trying to hold the world up alone. Extending our emotional or financial resources without collaboration, the inevitable happens ... we run dry. If we are continuously over giving, perhaps it is time to review our motives. Do we not believe we can gain what we need by simply being ourselves?

In the spiritual sense, we may be overdoing our generosity subconsciously hoping to be revered or to save another soul. The best way, perhaps, to help others is by simply being ourselves in the presence of their challenge. People will only learn and change when they are ready to do so, regardless of our overextending.

If we disengage from the maddening crowds that no longer inspire, we can better ourselves by going solo. Whether it is a change in relationship or profession, a designated weekend retreat will heal and restore. One must find the courage to stand alone in sacred space to reinvest in the personal journey of the sacred soul. 

 

Circles ...

"The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are."

C S Lewis

Being present in a circle, there is comfort in movement around the area with no one behind or in front. Individuals each have a turn to express themselves. The circle can band together closer or expand to accommodate change.  There is beauty in the sharing of knowledge for reaching joint conclusions.

There are sewing circles, knitting or crocheting circles, prayer circles and dream circles, to mention just a few. Drum Circles allow each person to participate, and each beat tends to eventually blend into a compatible rhythm within the circle. The same might hold true for a council meeting sharing ideas to form one consensus. 

Working in a circle takes pressure off one person determining the outcome. Each person has the chance to express his or her knowledge which then can be combined with the wisdom of others. No one is sitting behind and no one is placed in front. It seems to be the optimum shape for all voices to be heard with combined outcome. 

Right Where You Are ...

 

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it those little bits of good put together 

that will overwhelm the world."

Desmond Tutu

It is important to look upon ourselves with compassion. As human beings, life is about trial and error or light verses darkness. As we fuel ourselves with good thoughts and deeds, we will be less likely to stumble when we are faced with challenge. We become empowered by learning the lesson whether we are right or wrong. 

When we align our actions with integrity and remain motivated by spiritual intentions, our conversations and behaviors reveal our identity. Living how we want to be with an open heart is not easy, but the rewards heal the body, mind and soul. Our positive contributions impact the lives of many who we may never know.

We can endeavor to not be distracted by the chaos in our world. We can hold positive thoughts and creative expectations when we are faced with diversity in thought, word, and deed. As we lavish love on others, it is imperative to bathe ourselves in it as well. We all equal perhaps in ways that are never apparent. 

 

Repetition in the Mind

"You suffer more from the story you repeat in your mind

than from the event itself. Let it go and become free."

Buddhism

Numerous times, negative events happen. Conversations might be over shared, or criticisms unintentionally overheard. Maybe we replied with anger, acted out or repressed the experience. Almost immediately, we begin to ruminate. Round and round our thoughts circle, replaying how we might have reacted in other ways.

Depending upon severity, our anger or hurt feelings may grow deeper. We may fall back through the past recalling similar situations. Spiraling, the initial event can be blown completely out of proportion. This creates not only mental fatigue, but also triggers tension within our body.

It is unfortunate that we talk to ourselves in manners that we would never speak to others. To initiate relief, we can choose to go to a favorite peaceful place or meditate to calm our spirit. Release can be found through journaling or other creative endeavors. The goal is to respect the self by counterbalancing negative emotions and becoming free.

 

Creating New Stages in Life

"What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself."

Abraham Maslow

It is challenging to change oneself if one does not know himself. As we move through stages of our lives, our interests and desires might shift. Dreams will not materialize if we do not acknowledge or invest our time and creativity into action. When a new opportunity presents itself, it is best to take advantage and explore.

We may be bored with our lovely selves and no longer have ways of highlighting our interests. This can lead to depression or abusive behaviors. With new eyes, look into the community to discover classes, groups, and volunteering to polish our skills.

We may feel silly if we express an interest in one of the arts. We may tell ourselves that our lack of skill may embarrass us. What if we try and succeed? What if the gain is meeting a new friend? There is significant chance that exposing ourselves to something new, our sense of worth will increase. Nothing to lose, and lots to gain! 

 

Offensive Remarks

"When someone drops an inappropriate comment, your body's internal alarm

system goes off instantly. You might find your heart races, your face flushes, and

every fiber of your being wants to either flee or fight back immediately."

psyche

If you choose to remain silent when someone has offended you, you are disrespecting yourself. There are numerous ways to face this situation with dignity remaining intact. The best way to put a stop to the abusive or insensitive conversation is to turn to them and ask, "What makes you ask such a thing?" Motivation becomes clear.

In other scenarios, the speaker may not be aware of their insensitivity. Jefferson Fisher suggests these responses: 1. How do you feel when you say that? 2. I'm surprised you would say that out loud! and 3. Did you mean for that to sound so _____? The attention returns to the speaker and holds them accountable.

We can stay calm and ask for clarification. We can state that we do not discuss this issue and change the subject and turn away. It is probably wise not to try to educate the person at this time. It may lead to further disrespectful involvement. "What other people say about me is none of my business." (Erma Bombeck)

The Third Male

"To be a mother of a son is one of the most important things you can do to change the world.

Raise them to respect women, raise them to stand up for others, raise them to be kind."

Shannon L. Alder

My youngest of three sons was born on July 18, 1977. He was a sweet and gentle soul from the start. He loved the outdoors and anything to do with nature. In the fall of 8th grade, he secretly planted iris bulbs to surprise me in the spring on Mother's Day. He walked the earth lovingly barefoot and connected with trees, stars and the moon.

We lived out in the country, and at age 8 he would find branches from trees which he would carve into primitive bowls for me. This became a skill he mastered in high school. He made a rocking chair, coffee table, and China hutch for me and a hope chest. His numerous gardens thrived under his loving care.

Hiking, fishing, camping across the state, he had deep respect for the land. I nurtured him, but he unfolded into who he most needed to be. This gentle soul professionally succeeded, married his tender-hearted love, and brought two children into this world. I could not have loved him more. 

When True Love Waits ...

"The course of true love never did run smooth."

William Shakespeare 

She was the high school cheerleader, the captain no less, and he was the high school athlete winning in every sport. College rolled around and took them in separate ways. Each married and lived in different cities in the United States. He became a minister and she was a tv celebrity. I had not seen either one of them in numerous decades. 

While eating with some friends at a local restaurant, I glanced over to a table in a different section. I stared at two people, puzzling over what they were doing together, as I recognized them immediately. Why are they here thousands of miles from where we had grown up? Had they slipped away for an affair?

I boldly walked up to their table. We all had aged, of course, and being out of context there was confusion at first. Stunned, we broke into a group hug! Both had divorced after years of marriage, returning to their original true love. They were now in a marriage intended years ago, but life got in the way. True love a bit bumpy, but worthy of the wait!

 

Victim or Master

"I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become."

Carl Jung 

Everyone has a story that has shaped his or her life. To be human is to face challenges that we have no control over, but we do have choice as to how to react. As we age, we begin to recognize patterns repeating themselves triggering our body, mind, and spirit. Frequently, the lesson is learned in segments like chapters in a book.

We can let life happen to us or we can choose to live our lives in alignment. If we are living falsely, we are allowing elements to dictate the level of our experiences. We have the choice to live life as a victim or as a master of our strengths. This requires us to remain both curious and observant, assisted by creative response. 

If we are unhappy in our life, it is up to us to change it. Choose not to remain stuck and seek resources for better understanding and support. Orchestrate a realistic plan that will lead to authentic living. One must have a clear sense of self, identifying personal needs and willingness to adjust. Learn to be you as everyone else is taken!

Despair With Courage

"Courage is not the absence of despair; it is, rather, 

the capacity to move ahead in spite of despair."

Rollo May

My pattern from childhood was to withdraw into myself when facing challenge. This of course created loneliness and isolation eliminated input from others. Without support, I fell deeper into darkness forgetting who I was or what strengths I may have had. Fear was my worst companion, overwhelming my sense of self.

Life has cast shadows of darkness upon my path, but I have learned to push forward. Patterns continue to circle in and out, but with each confrontation, I become stronger. There is an inner memory of finding my way back into the light. For it is in the light that I experience my wholeness, self-empowerment, and reason to thrive.

Revisiting the nature of my cycle and the need for courage, I am reminded of the importance to nurture myself through nature, writing, and energy work. Heightened awareness of others through observation and open mindedness, deepens understanding of the human struggle and the resilience of our inner sacred spirit. 

Inner Journey Mountain Climb

"The hardest mountain to climb is the one within."

J. Lynn

When we do not set our intention to ascend towards something, the chances are great we will regress backwards into nothingness. The motion of forward movement is filled with incidental sidebars of information to highlight our climb. There are hidden pockets where one can rest and begin again on another day.

The reward is seldom the success of reaching the top of the mountain. Ascending from our climb, we must notice what is lodged on either side of the trail. Unsure of footing, we may slip and descend backwards into darkness. Thankfully, there is often a waterfall to cleanse oneself enough to refocus on the dream.

Our climb upwards towards our destination can be just as important as reaching the top. As we struggle up elevated paths, uncertainty can be overcome by flashes of our inner soul. We are born to reach great heights, and the climb defines who we are through resilience and consistently restoring our vision. 

 

Trust Body Responses

"The body trusts slowly because it remembers deeply."

Chrisina Spears

Memories can be blocked or distorted depending upon how much healing we have allowed. There are layers of on-going experiences that also contribute to what is repressed. We may be unaware of our resistance or deliberately ignore it. It takes loving kindness with our self to unearth what blocks our progression to health and well-being.

We may be in a situation when suddenly something doesn't feel right when by all of our standards it ought to feel just fine. Whether we walk into a room or taste a particular food and an unrelated response surprisingly surfaces. It may have absolutely nothing to do with the present moment and everything to do with our past.

It can be helpful to have a calming practice in place. Whether it is a positive mantra or a brief breathing exercise, we can bring our full awareness into the present. Beneficial insight may occur if we take a few minutes to jot down our feelings and then meditate with them. By increasing our attention, often we can link the past with the present.

 

Choice Backed by Action

"Action is the foundational key to all success."

Pablo Picasso

Coming to a decision may take weeks or years, but not followed up with action, the choice really doesn't matter. Nothing will transpire unless we act upon our decision. Consequences occur when we allow fear to dictate the outcome. We may know what is right or we may be told what is beneficial, but unless we act everything remains the same.

Whether a well thought out decision or a snap judgement has taken hold, it is worthless unless we proceed. What are the steps we need to take in order to bring our decision to fruition? Impulsive reactions undermine us but well thought out plans for action are imperative to moving forward.

Fear can cause emotional insecurity and trigger resistance even when we are desperate to move forward. It is when we ground ourselves in love that steps move us into success. A positive mindset creates courage and confidence. Taking the initial step or a beginner's leap, action propels our choice forward. 

 

Work Becoming Play

 

"When we engage in what we are naturally suited to do, our work takes on the

quality of play and it is play that stimulates creativity."

Linda Naiman

If we wake up dreading our day, we need to make changes. Depending upon our personality, we might do better planning an engaging event at the end of our tasks or dividing up our chores across carefully chosen days. If our career or relationship is the dread, then larger changes are needed.

If we are able to bring our passion into a chore or required work, we will experience both challenge and pleasure. Life is too short to be focusing our energy on things that do not interest us. If we have become disillusioned with a relationship, perhaps it is time to join new groups compatible with our interests.

If we do not love what we are doing, why are we doing it? Are we investing our time bettering the life of someone else? Perhaps our boundaries need to be adjusted. Can we find a way to incorporate our strengths into our work? It is said that life aught not be all work and no play, so discover ways to bring on the fun! 

Waiting for the Right Time

 "Time and tide wait for no man."

Geoffrey Chaucer

Time is incredibly flexible in that it can stretch into what seems like eternity or seemingly disappear instantly. We may wait for the right time to accomplish a certain project, but are we just wasting time? Time may be the most misused resource and once it has passed, it will never be recaptured in exactly the same way.

It is said that it is never too late to begin. Moving through procrastination, building meaningful progression, satisfaction and joy or success and reward can be the result. We may be called to take giant leaps or baby steps with both needing a starting point. With patience and focus, time begins working for us, not against.

There is a difference between wasting time and preserving it for personal tine-outs. Securing nurturing time is pivotal to our preferred quality intentions. Time invested in the self is invaluable. Accessing quiet time, one hears the whispers of the heart. With new enthusiasm, we make better use of our time.

Designated Piece to the Puzzle

"You can't force a puzzle piece to fit, much like you can't force someone

 to be a part of your life."  Unknown

In childhood we often had opportunity to play with a jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes we may have started with just the edge pieces or matched pieces by color or similar patterns. A playmate of mine used to hide one piece so it couldn't be completed without him. Another was famous for actually cutting a piece to force it where it did not belong.

Solving a jigsaw puzzle is similar to life in that we must be patient with a steady eye for observation. Each piece has a designated place, but sometimes other pieces need to be fit in first. There are pieces that fit together easily while others have to be moved around prior to the perfect fit.

We may find ourselves pondering over a piece trying to puzzle how in the world it will fit into our life. Sometimes the answer will not be apparent until years later when newer pieces can be worked in first. Word to the wise, don't ever discard a damaged piece thinking it is not important as all pieces serve a designated purpose.  

Clarifying Paths

"If you find your feet dragging, check your path. You are probably on the wrong one."

Toshio Sudo

• Fear holds us in place and clouds our perceptions. We may not be able to recognize forward movement if it is unfamiliar. It may be challenging to take the first step when we know not where it leads. It is tempting to stay in a negative space just because it is familiar.  

• Running away from situations may at first feel like release, but obstacles reappear and are often times greater than at first. Our pathway twists and turns and without faith we will continue to end up at dead ends. Even when we are clear about our intentions, our passageway may not be recognized.

• Overwhelmed by choices, we may ignore all of them, and yet that is a choice in itself. Rather than shutting down, we can choose to step into the unknown with courage.  One step in front of the other, we move forward advancing towards our goal. When we continue to hit roadblocks, it may be Spirit telling us we are on the wrong path.

How Life Gets Better ...

"A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal."

Steve Maraboli

Even when we are feeling totally helpless, there is someone nearby that we can help. Whether we hold a door open or offer a smile, we have no idea how we have just changed the direction of someone else's life. We must never allow ourselves to become so absorbed in our own helplessness that we ignore the world around us.

And speaking of the world around us ... we may feel totally at loss about the chaos everywhere. There are choices, however. We can send either a positive email or a quick text to friends. We can reach out to trusted soul sisters, get out in nature or journal to our hearts content. It is best to give voice to our fears to make room inside for peace.

There are endless ways to extend our heart. Whether we feed and water the birds or donate an old box fan to a charity, we are helping support positive movement. We can plant beautiful flowers in our yard for those passing by to feel joy in their presence. When we give generously from our heart, life gets better.

 

Yielding ...

"Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it,

we can never do anything wise in this world."

Helen Keller

Yield to the 'right of way' is a positive gesture of respect and yielding towards a weakness can lead to our undoing. Respecting others is how the world needs to be, but not at the cost of ourselves. Moderation of experience, but never to the degree of overwhelm. There are times we need stamina, courage and determination to push forward.

Walking away or taking a time out assists us in gaining clear thought. We can listen to our gut as to what has prompted the situation or how to exit it. Asking ourselves what the lesson is and exploring if this is a repeated pattern. It may be a situation to adjust our perceptions which will open the landscape our life.

Eventually, we will find our way through. It is beneficial to understand our behavior in creating this situation to begin with. Did we let our guard down to temptation, our expectations too high or allow others to dictate a situation? When we give ourselves time to understand, we will be stronger, not give ourselves pity.