Experience the Freedom

Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water.

Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup,

you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle,

you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot.

Now water can flow or it can crash.

Be water, my friend.

Bruce Lee

(November 27, 1940 ~ July 20, 1973) 

 

Finally, I feel the limitations of a winter hibernation falling away.  The warmer weather generates hope and instills the prospect of new growth.  I find my self breathing again, deep breaths.  I want to welcome the sunshine into the depths of my soul, thawing all that has been frozen.

My legs are once again finding their stride while I watch the landscapes unfold with my eyes.  The grass is a vibrant and healing green and the lovely flowers yearn to be seen.  The trees as they flower magically release scents of honeysuckle and crab apple.   The little creatures skitter to and fro while the song  birds are perched both high and low. 

I strive to cast off  the sadness of winter  as the sun floods my heart with joy and gladness.  I am once again thankful for this life and grateful for all kindness being extended in this world.  I am ready to embrace opportunities coming my way and to meet life's challenges in the most positive and gentle way.

Whether I dig in the dirt or master an art, inspiration stimulates life anew.  Creativity triggers the natural rhythm of life  and calls me to stand aside, out of my very own way.  I can now experience the freedom  to be limitless, formless and shapeless in the presence of Spring. 

Recognizing Parts of Self

I feel like I've never had a home. You know? I feel related to the country, to this country, and yet I don't know exactly where I fit in. And the same thing applies to the theater. I don't know exactly how well I fit into the scheme of things. Maybe that's good, you know, that I'm not in a niche. But there's always this kind of nostalgia for a place, a place where you can reckon with yourself. Now I've found that what's most valuable about that place is not the place itself but the other people; that through other people you can find a recognition of each other. I think that's where the real home is.

SAM SHEPARD               

There were two observations shared with me by two different friends over 30 years ago.  Both assessments were mentioned in a positive way.  For some reason, both statements remained affirmations helping me to be aware of the importance of perceptions.

Each and every one of us are multi-faceted, but rarely pay attention to the small things, the little things making our personality or character unique.  Some of our strengths we take for granted, being so used to having them we falsely assume others have the same abilities when in reality they do not.  They have their own strengths and their own weaknesses.

Although these two statements were made by people unknown to each other  during two different stages of my life, the comments support each other and have helped me be more gentle with my self.  The descriptions of my self allowed me to re-frame what I had considered to be negative aspects and turn them into positive qualities.

I grew up in a large city, attended a small town college and then lived in several different states, traveling around more than the average woman.  It was unsettling to me to hear acquaintances mention how they had never moved from the the location of their birth home or lived in the same area their entire lives.  For whatever reason, these comments always made me feel some what like a transient or lesser than even though each of my travels were made deliberately for personal or professional reasons.  A dear friend made reference to me saying, "I think you have some gypsy blood in you allowing your self the courage to travel into the unknown."  It was said in a very supportive and positive way.  It gave me food for thought.

A few years later, during a private conversation with a trusted friend, the second statement was made.  This is what was said: "I admire you, watching you move from one situation to the next and always adjusting your self to those around you.  You some how make your self comfortable no matter where you go or who you are with."  These words offered me a positive reflection of my self that frequently assisted me in traveling through my gypsy life.

Now in my later years, I do a lot of traveling and it is true, I adjust well with strangers and I have a lust for visiting diverse places.  I no longer see this as good or bad.  I embrace these qualities as a part of who I am.  Applying  this awareness has helped me to remain comfortable in my own skin.

                                  

Aligning With the Inner Self

"I want to feel my life while I'm in it."

Meryl Streep

We move through life witnessing both success and defeat, courage and fear, and happiness and sorrow.  During these segments, we are frequently focused on how to move forward and disallow our selves time to actually feel any depth of emotions.  We don't want to be stuck in our emotions.  We don't want to be carried away by our emotions.  If, however, we do not allow our selves to truly feel we are not aligning with our inner self, Divine Spirit, or wisdom to guide us. 

Using success for example.  If we experience success and ignore our true inner emotions, we may not realize are loneliness, lack of passion or sense of being in the wrong place.  Just because we become successful in a certain arena, does not mean it is the the arena for us to perform in for the rest of our lives.  Even if the success is the result of a long held goal, we may discover it is not where we truly resonate.  On the other hand, while experiencing success, we feel buoyant, joyful and continued passion, then by recognizing these emotions, we are validated and encouraged.

When we avoid our inner self, our feelings get repressed.  They do not simply go away.  In sorrow, people will tell us to be brave, get over it, and prepare for a new life.  We need to allow time to check in with our sadness, our loss, or vulnerability.  We need to feel these emotions deeply so we can begin the process of healing. 

A few years ago, I was with a trusted mentor.  I shared a childhood story with her I had told many times over the years as I thought it was so funny.  The story involved my self and an exchange with an adult.  After sharing the incident I was laughing heartily, but the mentor challenged me.  She said, "I see you regard this as funny, but how did it make you feel?"  Silence followed.  No one had ever asked me this question before and I was truly caught off guard.  I realized only in that moment it made me feel horrible.  When I stopped crying, I knew I would never tell the story in the same way again.

Human beings walk around life with a back pack.  When they come into contact with an emotional reality they don't want to deal with, they throw it in their back pack.  This works fine until one day the back pack is so filled with repressed anger, rejection, abandonment and/or other negative experiences, we are so off balance we fall.  It becomes time to remove the back pack and to sort through it discarding all of the old rubbish.

When we stay in alignment with Divine Spirit, our inner self is flowing and free no matter what the outer world brings to us.  We can face our challenges with a spiritual force (trust or faith) allowing us to embrace reality, feel our emotions, and move through life fully experiencing the union of body, mind, and spirit .

    



SIX DANCE LESSONS IN SIX WEEKS

 

 

 

People hasten to judge

in order not to be judged themselves.

 

Albert Camus

THE FALL

 

 

The Waterfront Playhouse (celebrating 73 years in Key West) presented SIX DANCE LESSONS IN SIX WEEKS.  The two hour play was listed as a "part comedy, part drama and part cha-cha-cha.  There were only two performers in the entire play.  A man, who portrayed a gay dance instructor and a woman, who played the role of a widowed Southern Baptist minister's wife.  They were very suited for the characters they played and the viewing time rushed by.  They played to a full house receiving a standing ovation at the end.

 

I certainly wouldn't want to write a review for this play, but the story line ran very close to the truth of how we can consider our selves loving and kind, not prejudiced, but still have hurtful words pass out of our mouths without even realizing it.  In the production, the gay man frequently and boldly called out the woman for her stereotyping and the aging southern belle did not mince words to bring his false assumptions and unaligned defenses front and center.

 

It is my hope communities today are much better at embracing diversity in cultures, religions, races, and politics.  I am uncomfortably aware of the hatred in the world, but I am addressing the prejudices we unknowingly portray.  I am referring to things we say off the top of our heads that when we are challenged we discover we have no real basis for the accusations we have just made ... just assumptions, things we have learned from our family of origin or individual experiences now judging a certain group instead of the singular offender.

 

We can all recall incidents of making a faux pas, but I shudder to think of the many times I have not been aware of offending someone as I unknowingly blathered on.  There are times when I run through a conversation in my head hours or days later and cringe at something I have said that was perhaps open to a different translation.  The words can never be withdrawn and trying to clarify by reopening the conversation usually makes things worse.

 

When someone challenges us about words we have carelessly uttered, we sometimes discover our opinion has been based on false assumptions or as mentioned before, lumping an entire group of people into a negative category based on the behaviors of  just one person.  Even in generalizing ... "These kids today are spoiled.  Single parents are not up to the challenge.  Doctors are in it just for the money.  Other countries are evil.  Our world is doomed."

 

The bottom line is we must be accountable for our opinions.  We must listen to what others say in addition to what we are saying.  If we hold an opinion, we must be well informed to support it based on facts not assumptions.  There is no need to back down or alter personal beliefs, but we need to  listen to what others have to say.  This of course requires an open heart, compassion, and respect  for others.  We must also be willing to recognize our own short sightedness and to be willing to adapt and change when needed. 

 

SIX DANCE LESSONS IN SIX WEEKS illustrates how we are all human beings needing love and acceptance.  It portrays how we are so busy pointing out the fleck in some one elses eye, we peer around the boulder in our own.  We all have many parts to our selves combining us into a whole being.  Not all of our parts are pure or sterling.  It is helpful to be aware of our weaker parts, to strive to accept and adapt them, and to become integrated in our awareness of not just others, but our selves as well.

 

 

 



Unfolding Parts of the Self

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”       

~Anais Nin




Change has never been one of my mastered areas as I lean more towards permanency.  I feel more comfortable  when things are the way I expect them to be; but then there suddenly seems to be a time when I want to rearrange everything as I have grown bored or feel stagnant.

Change is a constant in life, challenging us whenever we feel settled about an issue, situation, or location.  Change can shift our emotions and how we feel within seconds even though we may not be aware of the cause and effect until a much later time.

We are multi-faceted human beings.  We are not just one solid body of thought, word, or deed. We are made up of differing parts.  Our cause and effect, or ability to respond, or inconsistencies can vary from moment to moment or conversely may not shift for years.

We may be a professional flying to different cities daily, sleeping in different hotels every night and eating meals at random.  We may love this style of life, but when we return to our home, if one thing is out of place, we may go ballistic!  We may stay up late into the night arguing to win our partner over to our side.  Then first thing in the morning, our partner openly agrees, but we sometimes respond with, "No, I have changed my mind."

Not only are our parts vastly different from each other, they are also given to change.  We are similar to massive computers with files being added to regularly or transferred or deleted and then retrieved from the recycle bin!  We need to know ourselves well so we can recognize when we are on the cusp of real change or a fanciful whim. 

It is beneficial to listen to all parts of the self, as each part needs some level of honor and respect.  In other words, we need to create balance between all of our varying needs.  If we pay attention, we will recognize which part of our self is trying to get attention and to what degree we want to give it.

Sometimes our behavior may surprise us.  We may ask, "Where did that come from?"  We all are exposed to negative energy, and we are all confronted with change, creating a cause and effect.  If we take the time to know our selves very well, we can more readily anticipate our reaction and smoothly move through the currents of life.   If we rush through life, ignoring or repressing parts of our self, it will be a bumpy road.

Wizard, Not Magician

In the West a wizard is primarily thought to be a magician who practices alchemy, turning base metal into gold.  Alchemy also exists in India, but the word alchemy is really a code word.  It stands for turning human beings into gold, turning our base qualities of fear, ignorance, hatred, and shame into the most precious stuff there is:  love and fulfillment.  So a teacher who can teach you how to turn yourself into a free, loving person is by definition an alchemist.

Deepak Chopra

THE WAY OF THE WIZARD

Some of our best teachers in life may have appeared to be our enemies.  Think about it.  Looking at our lives, who have taught us the harshest lessons ... kind folks or those in clear opposition? 

I have been blessed with many loving teachers, but I have definitely gone up against opposition sometimes learning the hard way.  There have been times that I longed for a teacher to come into my life, but not always did one appear. 

The expectations we hold for a teacher, are they for magic or wisdom? Do we long for a magician to appear and remedy all of our problems or do we prefer a wizard who will teach us wisdom to face our own challenges?  

Many of us long for a secure place to enter and listen to wisdom. Some of us travel near and far seeking the wisdom of would be wizards.  Deepak Chopra says, "A wizard exists in all of us.  This wizard sees and knows everything."  So once again we are prompted to stop exploring outside of our selves, and begin to explore our own inner landscapes.  

When we are finally open to the wizard within, we begin to not only hear wisdom, but we begin to use it to free our creativity, love, and spiritual nature.  Embracing the knowledge within, we begin to expand our awareness and attract wisdom from all surrounding people and things.  We experience a full sense of being and a true purpose in life.  

Rumi shares with us:  "You are the unconditioned spirit trapped in conditions, like the sun in eclipse."  We can endeavor to set our selves free through self-discovery and deep appreciation for who we truly are ... Wizard, not Magician.

Slaying Dragons

Courage is not just about slaying the dragon,

but about being true to yourself

and speaking your mind.

Elizabeth Bernstein

If we manage to slay the dragon, but regress back into silence, another dragon will eventually appear.  Dragons can be  symbols of fear; thus the cycle of dragons.

Courage is a part of our self we use to conquer physical, emotional or spiritual fears.  We use courage to face battles, to run calculated risks, and to stand up for our truths and values.

For some, it takes courage just to get out of bed.

The Divine is perfection and the Divine has created us in perfection; however, as part of the human experience we have strengths and weaknesses.  The lessons in this human experience entitled "life" address our weaknesses far more than our strengths.  The lessons are opportunities to strengthen our weaknesses.  Whenever we face our fears our courage  grows just a little stronger.

When we maintain a balance between our body, mind, and spirit, we are 'in the flow' feeling resilient and empowered.  When we respect our gifts and talents, and integrate our personal beliefs with our outer world, we have the courage to move forward more easily.  If we hide our personal beliefs and do not utilize our strengths, life appears to be an upward battle.   Then one day, at last, we gather our courage and break through our fears, slaying our dragons.  

Brief Departure

We are sometimes as different

from ourselves

as we are from others.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

No matter how well we think we know ourselves, the element of surprise can catch us off guard.  In certain situations, things can trigger a response from us that is foreign to our very nature.  We find ourselves saying things like, "I don't know what came over me," or "I don't know what I was thinking!"

The brief departure from who we normally are could be an unusual indulgent purchase or a cutting remark escaping from generally sweet lips or skinny dipping on vacation.  The uplift in our routine can be caused by a spiritual transition or a financial windfall.  On the other side, we may experience a dramatic downward change from the loss of a loved one or decrease in financial stability. 

No matter how great or how small the dent in our own self-image, it is a matter of change.  In order to flow with these changes, we must not be rigid in our thinking and or actions.  If we can be flexible in thought, word, and deed, we create the opportunity to stretch and grow.

If we truly monitor ourselves, we easily recognize our drifting and can adjust our course accordingly; however, if we are not paying attention, we may discover ourselves way off course with out a clue as to how to get back.

Like the trees, we learn to bend in a breeze rather than snap in a storm.  Nurturing ourselves strengthens our roots with relationships and our changing world.  Being gentle enables us to accept our true selves no matter how we are in the moment.