Right Where You Are ...

 

"Do your little bit of good where you are; it those little bits of good put together 

that will overwhelm the world."

Desmond Tutu

It is important to look upon ourselves with compassion. As human beings, life is about trial and error or light verses darkness. As we fuel ourselves with good thoughts and deeds, we will be less likely to stumble when we are faced with challenge. We become empowered by learning the lesson whether we are right or wrong. 

When we align our actions with integrity and remain motivated by spiritual intentions, our conversations and behaviors reveal our identity. Living how we want to be with an open heart is not easy, but the rewards heal the body, mind and soul. Our positive contributions impact the lives of many who we may never know.

We can endeavor to not be distracted by the chaos in our world. We can hold positive thoughts and creative expectations when we are faced with diversity in thought, word, and deed. As we lavish love on others, it is imperative to bathe ourselves in it as well. We all equal perhaps in ways that are never apparent. 

 

Repetition in the Mind

"You suffer more from the story you repeat in your mind

than from the event itself. Let it go and become free."

Buddhism

Numerous times, negative events happen. Conversations might be over shared, or criticisms unintentionally overheard. Maybe we replied with anger, acted out or repressed the experience. Almost immediately, we begin to ruminate. Round and round our thoughts circle, replaying how we might have reacted in other ways.

Depending upon severity, our anger or hurt feelings may grow deeper. We may fall back through the past recalling similar situations. Spiraling, the initial event can be blown completely out of proportion. This creates not only mental fatigue, but also triggers tension within our body.

It is unfortunate that we talk to ourselves in manners that we would never speak to others. To initiate relief, we can choose to go to a favorite peaceful place or meditate to calm our spirit. Release can be found through journaling or other creative endeavors. The goal is to respect the self by counterbalancing negative emotions and becoming free.

 

Creating New Stages in Life

"What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself."

Abraham Maslow

It is challenging to change oneself if one does not know himself. As we move through stages of our lives, our interests and desires might shift. Dreams will not materialize if we do not acknowledge or invest our time and creativity into action. When a new opportunity presents itself, it is best to take advantage and explore.

We may be bored with our lovely selves and no longer have ways of highlighting our interests. This can lead to depression or abusive behaviors. With new eyes, look into the community to discover classes, groups, and volunteering to polish our skills.

We may feel silly if we express an interest in one of the arts. We may tell ourselves that our lack of skill may embarrass us. What if we try and succeed? What if the gain is meeting a new friend? There is significant chance that exposing ourselves to something new, our sense of worth will increase. Nothing to lose, and lots to gain! 

 

Offensive Remarks

"When someone drops an inappropriate comment, your body's internal alarm

system goes off instantly. You might find your heart races, your face flushes, and

every fiber of your being wants to either flee or fight back immediately."

psyche

If you choose to remain silent when someone has offended you, you are disrespecting yourself. There are numerous ways to face this situation with dignity remaining intact. The best way to put a stop to the abusive or insensitive conversation is to turn to them and ask, "What makes you ask such a thing?" Motivation becomes clear.

In other scenarios, the speaker may not be aware of their insensitivity. Jefferson Fisher suggests these responses: 1. How do you feel when you say that? 2. I'm surprised you would say that out loud! and 3. Did you mean for that to sound so _____? The attention returns to the speaker and holds them accountable.

We can stay calm and ask for clarification. We can state that we do not discuss this issue and change the subject and turn away. It is probably wise not to try to educate the person at this time. It may lead to further disrespectful involvement. "What other people say about me is none of my business." (Erma Bombeck)

The Third Male

"To be a mother of a son is one of the most important things you can do to change the world.

Raise them to respect women, raise them to stand up for others, raise them to be kind."

Shannon L. Alder

My youngest of three sons was born on July 18, 1977. He was a sweet and gentle soul from the start. He loved the outdoors and anything to do with nature. In the fall of 8th grade, he secretly planted iris bulbs to surprise me in the spring on Mother's Day. He walked the earth lovingly barefoot and connected with trees, stars and the moon.

We lived out in the country, and at age 8 he would find branches from trees which he would carve into primitive bowls for me. This became a skill he mastered in high school. He made a rocking chair, coffee table, and China hutch for me and a hope chest. His numerous gardens thrived under his loving care.

Hiking, fishing, camping across the state, he had deep respect for the land. I nurtured him, but he unfolded into who he most needed to be. This gentle soul professionally succeeded, married his tender-hearted love, and brought two children into this world. I could not have loved him more. 

When True Love Waits ...

"The course of true love never did run smooth."

William Shakespeare 

She was the high school cheerleader, the captain no less, and he was the high school athlete winning in every sport. College rolled around and took them in separate ways. Each married and lived in different cities in the United States. He became a minister and she was a tv celebrity. I had not seen either one of them in numerous decades. 

While eating with some friends at a local restaurant, I glanced over to a table in a different section. I stared at two people, puzzling over what they were doing together, as I recognized them immediately. Why are they here thousands of miles from where we had grown up? Had they slipped away for an affair?

I boldly walked up to their table. We all had aged, of course, and being out of context there was confusion at first. Stunned, we broke into a group hug! Both had divorced after years of marriage, returning to their original true love. They were now in a marriage intended years ago, but life got in the way. True love a bit bumpy, but worthy of the wait!

 

Victim or Master

"I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become."

Carl Jung 

Everyone has a story that has shaped his or her life. To be human is to face challenges that we have no control over, but we do have choice as to how to react. As we age, we begin to recognize patterns repeating themselves triggering our body, mind, and spirit. Frequently, the lesson is learned in segments like chapters in a book.

We can let life happen to us or we can choose to live our lives in alignment. If we are living falsely, we are allowing elements to dictate the level of our experiences. We have the choice to live life as a victim or as a master of our strengths. This requires us to remain both curious and observant, assisted by creative response. 

If we are unhappy in our life, it is up to us to change it. Choose not to remain stuck and seek resources for better understanding and support. Orchestrate a realistic plan that will lead to authentic living. One must have a clear sense of self, identifying personal needs and willingness to adjust. Learn to be you as everyone else is taken!

Despair With Courage

"Courage is not the absence of despair; it is, rather, 

the capacity to move ahead in spite of despair."

Rollo May

My pattern from childhood was to withdraw into myself when facing challenge. This of course created loneliness and isolation eliminated input from others. Without support, I fell deeper into darkness forgetting who I was or what strengths I may have had. Fear was my worst companion, overwhelming my sense of self.

Life has cast shadows of darkness upon my path, but I have learned to push forward. Patterns continue to circle in and out, but with each confrontation, I become stronger. There is an inner memory of finding my way back into the light. For it is in the light that I experience my wholeness, self-empowerment, and reason to thrive.

Revisiting the nature of my cycle and the need for courage, I am reminded of the importance to nurture myself through nature, writing, and energy work. Heightened awareness of others through observation and open mindedness, deepens understanding of the human struggle and the resilience of our inner sacred spirit. 

Inner Journey Mountain Climb

"The hardest mountain to climb is the one within."

J. Lynn

When we do not set our intention to ascend towards something, the chances are great we will regress backwards into nothingness. The motion of forward movement is filled with incidental sidebars of information to highlight our climb. There are hidden pockets where one can rest and begin again on another day.

The reward is seldom the success of reaching the top of the mountain. Ascending from our climb, we must notice what is lodged on either side of the trail. Unsure of footing, we may slip and descend backwards into darkness. Thankfully, there is often a waterfall to cleanse oneself enough to refocus on the dream.

Our climb upwards towards our destination can be just as important as reaching the top. As we struggle up elevated paths, uncertainty can be overcome by flashes of our inner soul. We are born to reach great heights, and the climb defines who we are through resilience and consistently restoring our vision. 

 

Trust Body Responses

"The body trusts slowly because it remembers deeply."

Chrisina Spears

Memories can be blocked or distorted depending upon how much healing we have allowed. There are layers of on-going experiences that also contribute to what is repressed. We may be unaware of our resistance or deliberately ignore it. It takes loving kindness with our self to unearth what blocks our progression to health and well-being.

We may be in a situation when suddenly something doesn't feel right when by all of our standards it ought to feel just fine. Whether we walk into a room or taste a particular food and an unrelated response surprisingly surfaces. It may have absolutely nothing to do with the present moment and everything to do with our past.

It can be helpful to have a calming practice in place. Whether it is a positive mantra or a brief breathing exercise, we can bring our full awareness into the present. Beneficial insight may occur if we take a few minutes to jot down our feelings and then meditate with them. By increasing our attention, often we can link the past with the present.

 

Choice Backed by Action

"Action is the foundational key to all success."

Pablo Picasso

Coming to a decision may take weeks or years, but not followed up with action, the choice really doesn't matter. Nothing will transpire unless we act upon our decision. Consequences occur when we allow fear to dictate the outcome. We may know what is right or we may be told what is beneficial, but unless we act everything remains the same.

Whether a well thought out decision or a snap judgement has taken hold, it is worthless unless we proceed. What are the steps we need to take in order to bring our decision to fruition? Impulsive reactions undermine us but well thought out plans for action are imperative to moving forward.

Fear can cause emotional insecurity and trigger resistance even when we are desperate to move forward. It is when we ground ourselves in love that steps move us into success. A positive mindset creates courage and confidence. Taking the initial step or a beginner's leap, action propels our choice forward. 

 

Work Becoming Play

 

"When we engage in what we are naturally suited to do, our work takes on the

quality of play and it is play that stimulates creativity."

Linda Naiman

If we wake up dreading our day, we need to make changes. Depending upon our personality, we might do better planning an engaging event at the end of our tasks or dividing up our chores across carefully chosen days. If our career or relationship is the dread, then larger changes are needed.

If we are able to bring our passion into a chore or required work, we will experience both challenge and pleasure. Life is too short to be focusing our energy on things that do not interest us. If we have become disillusioned with a relationship, perhaps it is time to join new groups compatible with our interests.

If we do not love what we are doing, why are we doing it? Are we investing our time bettering the life of someone else? Perhaps our boundaries need to be adjusted. Can we find a way to incorporate our strengths into our work? It is said that life aught not be all work and no play, so discover ways to bring on the fun! 

Waiting for the Right Time

 "Time and tide wait for no man."

Geoffrey Chaucer

Time is incredibly flexible in that it can stretch into what seems like eternity or seemingly disappear instantly. We may wait for the right time to accomplish a certain project, but are we just wasting time? Time may be the most misused resource and once it has passed, it will never be recaptured in exactly the same way.

It is said that it is never too late to begin. Moving through procrastination, building meaningful progression, satisfaction and joy or success and reward can be the result. We may be called to take giant leaps or baby steps with both needing a starting point. With patience and focus, time begins working for us, not against.

There is a difference between wasting time and preserving it for personal tine-outs. Securing nurturing time is pivotal to our preferred quality intentions. Time invested in the self is invaluable. Accessing quiet time, one hears the whispers of the heart. With new enthusiasm, we make better use of our time.

Designated Piece to the Puzzle

"You can't force a puzzle piece to fit, much like you can't force someone

 to be a part of your life."  Unknown

In childhood we often had opportunity to play with a jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes we may have started with just the edge pieces or matched pieces by color or similar patterns. A playmate of mine used to hide one piece so it couldn't be completed without him. Another was famous for actually cutting a piece to force it where it did not belong.

Solving a jigsaw puzzle is similar to life in that we must be patient with a steady eye for observation. Each piece has a designated place, but sometimes other pieces need to be fit in first. There are pieces that fit together easily while others have to be moved around prior to the perfect fit.

We may find ourselves pondering over a piece trying to puzzle how in the world it will fit into our life. Sometimes the answer will not be apparent until years later when newer pieces can be worked in first. Word to the wise, don't ever discard a damaged piece thinking it is not important as all pieces serve a designated purpose.  

Clarifying Paths

"If you find your feet dragging, check your path. You are probably on the wrong one."

Toshio Sudo

• Fear holds us in place and clouds our perceptions. We may not be able to recognize forward movement if it is unfamiliar. It may be challenging to take the first step when we know not where it leads. It is tempting to stay in a negative space just because it is familiar.  

• Running away from situations may at first feel like release, but obstacles reappear and are often times greater than at first. Our pathway twists and turns and without faith we will continue to end up at dead ends. Even when we are clear about our intentions, our passageway may not be recognized.

• Overwhelmed by choices, we may ignore all of them, and yet that is a choice in itself. Rather than shutting down, we can choose to step into the unknown with courage.  One step in front of the other, we move forward advancing towards our goal. When we continue to hit roadblocks, it may be Spirit telling us we are on the wrong path.

How Life Gets Better ...

"A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal."

Steve Maraboli

Even when we are feeling totally helpless, there is someone nearby that we can help. Whether we hold a door open or offer a smile, we have no idea how we have just changed the direction of someone else's life. We must never allow ourselves to become so absorbed in our own helplessness that we ignore the world around us.

And speaking of the world around us ... we may feel totally at loss about the chaos everywhere. There are choices, however. We can send either a positive email or a quick text to friends. We can reach out to trusted soul sisters, get out in nature or journal to our hearts content. It is best to give voice to our fears to make room inside for peace.

There are endless ways to extend our heart. Whether we feed and water the birds or donate an old box fan to a charity, we are helping support positive movement. We can plant beautiful flowers in our yard for those passing by to feel joy in their presence. When we give generously from our heart, life gets better.

 

Yielding ...

"Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it,

we can never do anything wise in this world."

Helen Keller

Yield to the 'right of way' is a positive gesture of respect and yielding towards a weakness can lead to our undoing. Respecting others is how the world needs to be, but not at the cost of ourselves. Moderation of experience, but never to the degree of overwhelm. There are times we need stamina, courage and determination to push forward.

Walking away or taking a time out assists us in gaining clear thought. We can listen to our gut as to what has prompted the situation or how to exit it. Asking ourselves what the lesson is and exploring if this is a repeated pattern. It may be a situation to adjust our perceptions which will open the landscape our life.

Eventually, we will find our way through. It is beneficial to understand our behavior in creating this situation to begin with. Did we let our guard down to temptation, our expectations too high or allow others to dictate a situation? When we give ourselves time to understand, we will be stronger, not give ourselves pity.

 

Yes, When We Mean No

 

"Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters, cannot be trusted in important affairs."

Albert Einstein

Promises can be easily made, but not as easily kept whether they are made to the self or to others. Too often saying yes is easier than standing our ground. If we feel pressure, the truth may be completely neglected. In time, we may lose the respect of others, but the worst is knowing we have dishonored ourselves.

Complicating matters in telling the truth, people may not want to hear our truth. There may be additional pressure upon us to change what we know as truth. This is where integrity comes in. Neglecting to tell the truth may cast a shadow upon us, but deliberately being deceitful can destroy our inner peace.

We can reframe our thoughts about truth telling by letting it become our trademark. It can become our gift to others in that they know they can depend upon our sincerity. Relationships deepen when built upon trust. Apologize promptly when we have misspoken, then carry on more determined to do better. We honor ourselves by telling the truth.

Sparks of Hope

"Every day is a great day to give love, spread joy and sparkle!"

Sheri Fink

Deep inside each one of us is a glitter that is often times buried beneath our sorrows and disappointments.  It is that lost gasp of childhood surprise and wonderment. As adults, we have grown way too serious. Perhaps we care too much about impressions or have experienced so much grief that we believe our light has gone out.  

The message on the Fourth of July is an invitation to look up into the sky, perhaps glimpsing a connection with the light. We know that the smallest spark can ignite a fire which is a symbolism we can emulate if we simply allow our inner child to play. The darkness in the sky begs us to appreciate the awe experienced in the illuminations.

Brilliant light can be seen everywhere no matter the time or season. Nighttime glimmers in the sky, beacons of brilliant sunlight, hot coals in a fire, the flame in a candle, or the twinkle in a child's eyes. It begins with our simple smile that sparks a sense of hope throughout our body, mind, and soul.

Crossing the Bridge

"Be responsible for your own destiny. You cannot rely on anyone else."

The Restoration Garden

In earlier generations, families had rigid expectations for their children that were not necessarily based on personal skills or desires. Boys were destined to carry on the family business, and girls were to be married and have children. Neither boys nor girls were generally asked and if they were, responses were ignored.

Times have changed, thank goodness, and even if one is not in the career of their dreams, they can be working towards it on the side. Musicians and artists tend to have a 'day job' until they can reach a certain level of success. When we can maintain forward movement, it is like crossing over a bridge. Holding ourselves accountable increases personal power. 

The goal may not be in sight, but one trusts it is ahead as we continue forward. Focused upon our dreams, we cross over numerous obstacles that could possibly pull us off course. We can respectfully glance on either side but stay the course. Appreciation of the view can stroke our weary soul until we finally arrive!  

 

Myriad of Possibilities, Not Dead End

"Impossible means that you haven't found a solution yet."

Henry Ford 

When a dream surfaces in our life, we experience a rush of possibilities. There is joy accompanied by a myriad of possibilities. Enthusiasm pours into our daily living, until it is tempered by reality. Slowly we lose both projections and perceptions. We experience the disillusion of dreams come true. 

Instead of giving up, however, we can choose to regroup. Maybe it is impossible to move forward with full vitality at this time, but we can discover a small thread to keep us connected rather than giving up entirely. Agreed, we cannot create completion at this time, but what portion of this dream can we create in the present moment?

With flexible thoughts and alternative procedures, we can move forward. Explore what we can adjust, maintaining the dream, but in smaller proportions. Hitting a roadblock does not mean a dead end, but perhaps a detour. Flexibility in thought, word and deed helps us discover a new pathway to dreams come true.

 

Promises ...

"Promises are only as strong as the person who gives them."

Stephen Richards

It is easier to keep a promise made to a friend than it is to fulfill a promise to the self. If I give my word in commitment, it is solid and true, but to myself, not so much. Holding myself accountable is indeed a tool for exploration into breaking patterns of turbulence and desire. 

I promise to my own self to be true, but desiring to be of service to others, I mistakenly regard his or her needs with greater importance. With years passing, I finally understand the connection between healing my wounds and personal responsibility. Ultimately, I cannot change anyone but myself, so I do have choice.

Under the full moon, I promise to treat myself with respect by honoring my needs discovered through deep dives into my history. What could I have done differently? I could have listened to myself. The moon reflects back to me courage to be fully me while meeting personal expectations. Better choices, better life.