I don't like that man.
I must get to know him better.
Abraham Lincoln
During our busy days, we come across friends, professional acquaintances, or strangers who really trigger the ugly in us. We may have an immediate dislike for the person or a growing negative opinion from over time and issues. Then there are those who we take an immediately liking to or instantly feel an immediate deep connection. Either way, people come into our lives for reasons. Each an every person carries a message for us and it is important to decipher the content of the message.
Along life's passage, I have learned not to spend time with people who drain me or who do not respect me; however, I really try to determine what I need to learn from them. Are they reflecting some underdeveloped part of myself needing strengthening. If they are loud or dominate all conversations is this life reflecting to me I need to speak up more and socialize or is it saying I too speak too loudly and dominate conversations. If we have a negative reaction, where did this originate or what does it represent to us? Inside we feel the answer to the question. On the other hand, if we deeply admire a person for generous help extended to others or acceptance of everyone, perhaps we need to be more like them. Either way, it benefits us to take the time to decipher each person's message.
I believe Abraham Lincoln's response to meeting someone he doesn't care for is not only compassionate, but a truth leading to world peace starting one by one. If we can eliminate judgment and replacement with understanding, surely harmony would follow. Not that we need to condone negative behavior, but to look for the roots, the cause, and what action might have made a difference. Learning from this insight, we may not be able to help the individual teaching us, but we may carry the new understanding forward into other situations. We all learn from each other.
To make my self clear, I will put it this way. I don't imagine that all learnings lead to positive resolve, but if the time is taken all learnings bring new awareness even if the information reinforces our right to disagree. It is not about agreeing. It is about listening and understanding. We all know that we can agree to disagree, but it is paramount this decision is accompanied by respect and honor.
