In Spite of Limitations

        

        

The purpose of life is for the individual

to become greater than

the definitions he has inherited.

James Baldwin

When one of my sons was around four years old, I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up.  His face exploded with excitement and without any hesitation blurted out, "A fire truck!" My first thought was to correct him and say, "Oh, you mean a fire man," but I could tell he very well meant truck.  I begged him to expand and he reflected both amazement and longing to be such a shining red flash of fast.  He mentioned the really huge ladders, long hoses, the screaming siren and flashing lights.   Friends got to climb on in their suits  and even sometimes there was a spotted dog when in a parade.  Indeed, he wanted to be a fire truck.

Over the years whether during parenting or professionally in social services, I have had the opportunity to be confided in with the segue, "You know what I would really like to do?"  My experience with my youngest son had taught me to be an enthusiastic listener and not to blow holes in someone else's dreams. 

There are doctors, lawyers, teachers or other professionals who share  being in their particular profession was their father's dream.  Many talented musicians and artists have been discouraged from their original gifts by well meaning family or elders.  As a small child, if our dreams and desires are squelched we will easily acquiesce as adults as well.  For those who were more rebellious, they may have been used to ignoring the input of others and persevered in spite of lacking support. 

We of course would not bolster a person's desires if they were unhealthy for themselves or harmful to others,, but young children rarely need condescending remarks about their dreams. Their aspirations change along with their development.  If they are constantly critiqued, confidence will never grow.  They will hesitate before sharing out loud, then they will deliberately  repress, and in many cases this results in rage and anger.

There was a young girl who loved to color and had a huge box of crayons.  She equally liked to draw and had a giant box of colored pencils.  Her parents admired her imagination, but knew one day she would be a teacher.  The young girl's aspirations to use her talents outside of a classroom continued throughout her childhood.  Around the age of 12, the young girl was struck with polio leaving her paralyzed on one side.  The parents were extremely discouraged about her future.  The girl regained her confidence and continued her attraction to sketching and colors.  In spite of her parents concern, she entered college as an art major specializing in design.  The last I heard, she was a successful clothing designer in a major city. 

As mentors, parents, or role models, we would do the next generation a greater service if we displayed the courage to step through our fears.  If we can teach others to accent their strengths, and to follow their desires in spite of limitations from false illusions, we will have a better world community.

Fourth of July

We are all longing to go home to some place

we have never been ... a place half-remembered and

half-envisioned we can only catch glimpses of from time to time.

  Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak

with passion without having the words catch in our throats.

Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes will

light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power. 

Starhawk

Let us all celebrate diversity by honoring and respecting each other in peaceful ways.  Let us all feel the freedom to be who we truly want to be, and then endeavor to be just that!

When we see the fireworks up in the sky, let the sparks ignite our heart's desire!  Allow our thoughts to explode with passion, turning all our dreams into radiant light!

Celebrate all that you are

and all that you will be!





Breathe Deeply into Life

Be kinder than necessary

for everyone you meet

is fighting some kind of battle.

T.H. Thompson and John Watson

Everyone knows the importance of washing off fruit before devouring it!  I learned quite awhile ago that strawberries were the only fruit having seeds on the outside rather than on the inside.  What I didn't know, strawberries are chemically sprayed more heavily and thoroughly than any other fruit.  I shudder while rinsing the fruit, as I so often just pop one into my mouth.

So frequently we lack awareness about what goes on around us. Either we are caught up in our own world or we falsely believe others have a perfect life and dismiss looking any deeper. We get so stuck in our own challenges we neglect to notice the struggles of others. We may cave into ourselves, withdrawing from what surrounds us and hide in our own darkness.

Yes, we all march to a different drummer, but we are all marching none the less. A kind gesture to someone else also elevates our own sense of worthiness. Opportunities surround us to momentarily be present in the life of an other. Offering bird feed for the birds, fresh water for the bird bath, lovingly dead heading the flowers or a gentle knowing smile to a stranger pulls us out of ourselves and into the world.

Unlike strawberries, our seeds are tucked away deep inside just waiting to be nourished. Like strawberries, our outsides have layers upon layers of 'stuff' we have applied for protection. It is time we wash off our own chemicals and breathe deeply into life. Let love soak through our open pores and feel alive again!

When Family Gathers ...

 

Love does not dominate;

it cultivates.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Gathering dear friends through the front door, I glanced down to discover the clematis I planted last year.  It had several deep purple blossoms fully opened graciously greeting our guests.  It had already began its climb up the trellis with plenty of new buds.

Everyone had brought food to share and delicious aromas filled the air.  Monkey Bread, Egg Casserole, Cheesy Potatoes, Fresh Fruit Salad, Spinach Salad, Biltmore's Famous Bacon/Cheese/Onion Dip with lots of veggies, Ham, and a Summer Delight Strawberry Dessert.  There were plenty of Mimosas and Sangrias passed around as these wonderful human beings formed a community of love around the dining room table.

Funny stories were once again told and updates of other friends were shared.  The conversation was relaxed, fun, and nurturing as we counted our blessings and shared thoughts about our families of origin spread across the United States.

Ignoring the dirty dishes, we spilled outside to the patio table and chairs where the hours leisurely slipped by.  A few folks continued on to other commitments, but the original core remained in the beautiful outdoors soaking up the sunshine and passing our new little Juniper Rose around, now nearly three months old.

There is nothing like sitting in a circle of friends where dreams, disappointments and fears can be safely shared.  I find myself amazed at the lengthy journeys already made by some people who are only thirty.  It pleases my heart to hear them report how they navigated through their challenges and in spite of the odds became wiser for the wear and tear.  Several times I felt my spirit lift in celebration of the resilience of the storyteller.  It isn't always the case to find a wiser soul at the end of a story.  When the challenge has not been mastered a bitter and unhappy person stands before you ... still struggling  ... still waiting to be rescued ... and all one can do is extend love, light, and energy. 

As evening drew near, we retreated into the house and snuggled into the family room where the conversation shifted to still another level.  We began to focus on things unseen and the world at large.  Our minds began to embrace new and different ideas accompanied by personal revelations. 

Ah, the safety of friends deemed 'family'.  I looked into the faces of those surrounding me and I felt inspired, loved, and hopeful.  I was inspired by individual stories that could only be told in safe boundaries.  I felt loved by the acceptance and compassion received from those who listened.  I was extremely hopeful that more and more people were reaching inside and configuring new dreams based upon their now recognizable strengths.  And laughter, the great healing agent when family gathers!

OSHO Message



You will feel the most significant experience,

you will become ecstatic if you can feel

that the whole existence needs you,

that you will be missed,

that if you are not here there will be a gap,

you will be missed.

You are not unnecessary,

you are not superfluous;

you have tremendous significance.

Hence, love yourself.

You are needed as much as the trees,

as the flowers, as the birds, as the sun

as the moon, as the stars.

You have to be here and

you have a right to be the way you are.

Osho

 

We are in relationship, one to the other.  We too easily forget we are an important ingredient to our own personal/spiritual growth, and also to the personal/spiritual growth of others. 

Celebrate your strengths and honor the intricate connection you hold for the greater good.  My wish for you is that one day you will see your lovely self as I see you ... amazingly beautiful inside and out!

Savor, Digest, or Destroy

The great end to religious instruction

is not to stamp our minds upon the young,

but to stir up their own.

Not to make them see

with our eyes,

but to look inquiringly

and steadily

with their own.

William Ellry Channing

Eclectic reading presents my mind with a variety of ideas and I have the freedom to pick and choose the information I want to savor, digest, or destroy.  Frequently, I will express my thoughts while working out the facts in my head or waiting for feedback before I make my final decision.

Entertaining my mind with diverse thoughts helps me to continue to stretch and grow.  Expanding my mind enables me

a broader view of things said, accomplished or abandoned.  To remain neutral while accessing information, concepts can be understood without feeling threatened or prejudiced.

The same is true with my heart.  I have had to learn to hold it open not to just those I love.  Compassion and acceptance once established in the mind and heart can greatly add to the learning experience of life.  Our minds and hearts need to remain open.

As an articulate explorer of the written word and human experience, my views perhaps fall from the norm.  My intention is not to make believers out of listeners.  I simply desire to share what I have learned and expect others to embrace whatever resonates within them and to leave the rest.

A dear mentor of mine reminds me, "We have an obligation to speak our truth ... once.  And then let it go."  I write what I hold dear and what happens after that, well ... savor, digest, or destroy!

Fulfilling Needs

For it was not into my ear

that you whispered,

but my heart.

It was not my lips 

that you kissed,

but my soul.

Judy Garland

We all need to have attention on some level.  We need to be noticed to validate our very presence in the world.  A simple simile from a passing stranger or a kindness reflected in a quick eye glance.  An isolated comment between strangers can have more significance than we could ever imagine.  


Isolation can be debilitating and it is happening to children, adults, and the elderly.  Children are bullied or not chosen to be a part of a group.  Perhaps parents are hard working and too exhausted to have meaningful exchanges.  The elderly may be surrounded by others, but frequently withdraw into themselves.  Isolation is not only physical.  It is emotional and spiritual as well.

Adults as well as children need affection.  We all need that physical touch whether it be a handshake, hug, or a massage.  Years ago, children spent hours sitting on the laps of their elders or families cared for isolated neighbors.  In many situations now, we may not even know our neighbors and our relatives could be living in an entirely different state.

It is fun to be in a grocery store or library and randomly compliment a stranger.  Maybe the color they are wearing brightens them up or perhaps they remind you of someone else. Any simple recognition lifts kindness into the face of the lonely. Sincerely thanking a clerk in the check out lane or a server cleaning off your table at a restaurant can acknowledge a job well done no matter what level of skill.

We all long to be accepted.  For some it may be politics, family, relationship or career, but sadly, many long to be accepted just as a human being.  We all want to feel connected or to feel like we belong whether it is to family, club, specialty group or the human race.

The first step in fulfilling needs is simply recognizing that we have them and then acknowledging that needs deserve to be met.  We are worthy in spite of poor choices or our age.  We are never too young nor too old to meet our needs.  

We need to be  mindful of our words as they so often go directly to the heart ... ours included.  We need to be appropriately generous with our affection as it kindles our souls.  In freely extending attention, affection, appreciation and acceptance towards others, our needs will be met in kind.

  

Get Over Your Self ...

Walk toward the door that is opening,

rather than clawing at the one

that is closing.

I HAD IT ALL THE TIME

Alan Cohen

Frequently, I have pondered the disconnect between being born with an incredible sense of my spiritual self, and then forgetting it all while becoming focused only on my physical self.  A child has wonderment, insight, and wisdom with deep appreciation for nature, only to be trapped in a materialistic world.

Alan Cohen is one of my most favorite authors.  He has written numerous books and they all seem to speak to me.   In his writing of I HAD IT ALL THE TIME, he discussed the shift from the spiritual self to the physical self in childhood.  It was all so obvious once I read his reflections and blended them with other insights.

Prior to this incarnation, we are spiritual beings with the Divine, the Universe, Spirit or whatever deity is foremost in your belief system. This spiritual being is the 'self' and a portion of this self takes form in this material existence on earth. While on earth, self plays many roles and wears a variety of masks, but behind it all, it is still the 'self'.  We are not our personalities nor are we the images projected on to others.  The self is still part of the spiritual being.

Once we have taken physical form, our language begins to reprogram who we really are, causing us to forget our spiritual identity.  Our caretakers frequently phrase comments in terms of the physical.  They might say, "What have you done to your self? Did you burn your self? Don't touch your self!"  What would have been more accurate is "What have you done to your arm or leg or body? Did you burn your hand? Don't touch your body!"  Can you sense the difference? Slowly we shift away from being a spiritual self into identifying with our physical body as self. Splitting hairs you may think, but I disagree.

"Get over your self," is a popular phrase, but it is impossible to do so.  You will always be self in the spiritual sense.  It is the ego that you need to get over. Your ego is not the self, but the many masks and projections that have been created in the physical.  It is all of the parts causing you to feel fraudulent.

Our physical bodies need to be nourished, nurtured, and cared for as they are our vehicles on this earth.  Our bodies host our spiritual self while experiencing a physical experience.   Our true self is love, energy, and light.  This is the story of old passed down through centuries and revered by many cultures. 

It may be time for you to close the door on what no longer reflects your true nature.  Turn to the opening door offering new beginnings.  Move towards the light or the sacredness that can be found in this life.  

Your true nature or your true self resides behind the life we create. Your true spiritual self is sacred loving kindness and so much more.

Live Each Day

It's only when we truly know and understand

that we have a limited time on earth ~ 

and that we have no way of knowing

when our time is up ~

that we will begin to live each day

to the fullest,

as if it was the only one we had.

***Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

  

I unexpectedly viewed Kevin Costner (actor) delivering an eulogy to Whitney Houston (singer and actress) at her funeral.  I listened to his words about this talented and beautiful woman who led a life riddled with insecurities.  His words haunted me as they were words that I have heard so many disclose ... doubts about our own personal worth.

It is so sad to me that there is such a strong disconnect between our authentic beauty and our presence in daily living.  We can all bring to mind someone we admire who repeatedly criticizes and underestimates himself or herself.  We are amazed that someone so gifted could have so many doubts.

Life itself is filled with challenges we have come to master, but did we bring such desecration of our inner self from the start?  What washed away our communion with the Divine?  Who separated our body, mind, and spirit leaving us so fragmented?

My belief system allows me to feel a personal loss when someone dies, but it also creates a curiosity about the transition death and dying triggers.  I confidently believe that in death we simply cross over into another realm or another dimension of living.  It is my conception that while the physical body dies, our spiritual self lives on eternally.

So the sadness I felt today was not about Whitney Houston's death, but rather about her inability to embrace her self while on this earth.  What impacts me even more deeply is the fact that many of us experience the same desperation seeking release in a variety of obsessions.  The emotional isolation that goes undetected in those we love so dearly, concerns me greatly.  To be left helplessly watching someone spiral out of control is even worse.  

The best thing we can do, perhaps, is to live each day as meaningful as we can, embracing others with sincere compassion while maintaining a balance between spiritual and material existence.  Try to begin each day with gratitude for all of our blessings and keep seeking for the Divine connection within.

***Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote a wonderful book about death and dying that opened my youthful eyes and broadened my earlier adult concepts about life.  Later, she wrote a book on death and dying of children which was one of the most difficult, yet inspiring books I have yet to read.

Fitting The Pieces Together

Conditions for creativity

are to be puzzled;

to accept conflict and tension;

to be born everyday;

to feel a sense of self.

ERICH FROMM

German born American

Philosopher/Psychoanalyst

1900-1980 

  

It is liberating to be free to create with our own gifts and talents.  Yet often times we are faced with conflict and become discouraged. Each day we start anew, and our creative gifts need to be expressed in a manner most comfortable to our inner being. In many instances, it takes years to discover the way to articulate or display our gifts in harmony and purpose.

Creativity comes in all shapes and sizes. It is not limited to music or painting or writing.  Inside of our being, there is a yearning to express our own sense of creativity.  Whether it is in mathematics or science, language arts or history, creativity plays a definite role.  We use creative expression in all that we do and it gives us a deeper sense of self.

From generation to generation, arts and crafts are frequently passed down.  There are third generation weavers or sculptors or carpenters. The art form may change from generation, but the basic skill threads its way through families.

My mother was very skilled in sketching which she used to design clothes and wedding gowns.  Her creativity was never used to its fullest and I believe this stunted her spirit.  

I received the gift of creativity as well, but unlike my mother, I cannot sew much more than a button.  I learned to express my creativity through different ways, such as: knitting, crocheting, candle~wicking, quilting, basket weaving, and various forms of painting.  

Although not skilled, I love to sketch in my journals which I have kept since childhood.  I have a passion for writing and it is my main outlet for creativity.  I have a gift for full color visualization in meditation which supplements both my spiritual life and daily activities.

Creativity has been passed down to my children as well.  My oldest son is very creative in building and story telling.  My next son finds mathematics to be a language  he speaks fluently.  My youngest son is gifted in carpentry and his gardens are filled with creative design.  My daughter, the youngest of the four, shows her creativity in her eclectic approaches while working as a therapist, and as a professor teaching to college grad students while dressing with original flair reflecting her creatively unique spirit.

Like mastering anything else, creativity takes time and patience.  Whether it is baking, cooking, gardening or furniture arranging, creativity must be cultivated with devotion and imagination.  We each have an obligation to explore gifts and talents as they are an important part of our personal and spiritual development and an excellent outlet for stress.

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle.  It is not until we fit several pieces together that we are able to see color and reason taking form.  As our lives begin to take shape, pieces do not necessarily fit together more easily, but the bigger picture becomes an incentive to carry on.  

Celebrating Self

Some people think letting go

is the same as giving up.

It's not.

It's releasing those things

that are no longer right

for you

or your happiness.

It's making room in your life

and in your heart

for something new.

It's believing ~

like I do ~

that you are

a wonderful person

who deserves nothing

less than the best.

Carlton Cards

I purchased a card with this inscription in it, intending to mail it to a friend.  Then realized I wanted to share it with everyone!  

If you are reading these words, I cannot help but believe that you are consciously or unconsciously searching to stretch and grow.  And in order to do this, you must make room for the new by letting go of the old. 

The challenges in life can be very trying so you must try to keep support in place ... mentors, teachers, retreats, classes, books, etc... In truth,however, the person you see the most is yourself.  You need to be your best means of support.

Very few of us see ourselves as being 'wonderful' and that is a horrible loss.  A loss not only to ourselves, but to our friends and community.  We each have a gift to share.  We each are a piece to the puzzle.  Without our individual contribution, the whole is lacking completion.

No matter what poor choices we have made in the past or what we have left undone, we are all deserving to lead creative and nurturing lives.  We must set the pace for others to follow by respecting and honoring our gifts and talents. 

Begin to fan the flame of passion and seek ways to make authentic contributions no matter how great or small.  It is through giving we truly begin to receive.   



If We But Listen ...

The only way to get what you really want is

to know what you really want.

The only way to know what you really want

is to know yourself.

The only way to know yourself is to be yourself.

And the only way to be yourself

is to listen to your heart.

I do, 

The Universe

www.tut.com

Life is a process requiring observation, contemplation, and integration.  Unfortunately, there is not a simple switch on the back of our heads to be switched on and off.  

We must come to understand: 

why we do what we do, why we say what we say, and why we stay small....

what stories we tell ourselves to keep our truth at bay...

how frequently we allow the judgment of others to over ride

what we hold dear in our hearts...

where we feel most safe and how often we visit ...

when we start celebrating our uniqueness we stop 

criticizing our differences ... 

Create a place of silence and experience solitude.  It is in this very space that our hearts begin to speak if we but listen.

'Undivided Tenderness'

"When you're a beautiful person on the inside, there is nothing in the world that can change that about you.  If you can't accept yourself, then certainly no one else will."     ~ Sasha Azevedo  

Over time, we grow aware of our differences.  Differences from the role we play in our family, to our selves, and to others surrounding us.  Who are we any way?  When we are exposed to conflicting belief systems,  dysfunctional family dynamics, and  inappropriate life styles, it is important to have a strong sense of self so we will not be over come by so many differences.  If we learn from these differences, we will not become stagnant nor lose opportunities to stretch and grow.  If we carefully open our inner self and not be rigid in our perceptions, we will see our selves in a new light.

Lingering memories from the recent holidays can be challenging for all of us.  It is a sensitive time and we all have unresolved issues or challenges to work on ... forgiveness ... acceptance ... compassion ... fears.

We must not lose our selves in the past nor is it wise to escape too far into the future.  We must use 'undivided tenderness' to nurture our spirit in the present moment.  Be here now for all else is an illusion.

If you are lonely: 

1.  Make a presentation at a senior center, youth group, church circle
2.  Read books out loud to incapacitated
3.  Offer to babysit your neighbors children for one hour
4.  Take a class ... dance, art, writing, photography
5.  Start a garden club
6.  Initiate a monthly meet at the local coffee cafe

                                                            The ideas are endless ......

A Positive Message

Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of a parent gives the child some message about self-worth. It is sad that so many parents don't realize what messages they are sending.   ~Virginia Satir

Everyone is entitled to think what they want, but unfortunately, we sometimes base our thinking on the behaviors of people we love.  If mom says I am not living up to her expectations or dad simply shakes his head disapprovingly, their assessment must be true ... I trust her, I love him, they know me better than I know my self.  We internalize the judgment and criticism.

We need to realize others project things upon us, but the projection is really more about them ... their own fears ... their own agendas.  We are all concerned about being loved and accepted.  If something harsh is said to us, let it be a signal that the person is really needing to feel more secure or loved.  Let there be a pause, and then find some way ... maybe just an unexpected hug, a special note or flowers ... to reassure the person.  In reality, the person is probably already hating himself or herself for speaking to you in such an inappropriate way. 

We must learn to build our lives in ways that support our growth.  Our own behaviors towards our inner growth must be nurturing and affirming.  If we were not chosen to sing in a choir or chorus, it does not mean that we cannot sing.  SING!  It is good for us  to hear our own voice making joyful noises or settling us into calm.  DANCE! Moving our feet is not only good exercise, but a liberation of spirit as well.  PAINT!  We don't have to be an artist to make strokes with a brush.  Fall in love with mixing colors.  WRITE!  Be creative using a private journal.  Jot down notes or quotes.  Cut out pictures and make mini collages or simply sketch.  Find a way for creative expression and it will lead us into our true nature.
We must try to be nice to our inner self as it will help to reprogram earlier negative messages from those we loved.   We willingly do things for others, but not so much ourselves.  We tend to censor kind gestures towards ourselves ... thinking it is too selfish and our ego talks us out of it.  We must be vigilant in giving our self permission to respect, honor, and nurture our very life.

Please do not hide your beautiful self.  The world needs your bright and shining light!  Be a positive message to our world.  We need you just as you are!



Face in the Mirror



If I could give you one key,
and one key only to more abundant life,
I would give you a sense of your own worth,
an unshakable sense of your own dignity
as one grounded in the source of the cosmic dance, as one who plays a unique part
in the unfolding of the story of the world...

- Greta Crosby

In my mid-twenties, I was standing in front of the bathroom sink washing my hands when I happened to glance at myself in the mirror.  I was clearly startled at the realization I did not know this person staring back at me.

Appraising myself, I tried to create a sense of who I was:  daughter to two parents, sister to one sibling, college graduate, wife in a marriage, mother of two little boys, and director of a preschool program.  These were all adjectives describing parts that stemmed from the center, but not who I was in the very inner center.

I felt a very haunting feeling spread into my heart.  The loneliness of not knowing deeply who I was spread a cold chill throughout my body.  "I don't have time for this," I remember saying.  I turned my face away from the mirror not wanting to face my reflection any longer.

This was one of many instances over the years where the veil parted and I glimpsed an inner depth to life, more than what floats on the surface.  Perhaps it was my soul calling out for me to return to the knowing of who I was meant to be.

For many of us, it is not until we release our grip on all of our gathered identities from family, career, and community that we follow the path back into the depth of our soul.  It is similar to an oxymoron in that we discover this part of our self deep within while learning that we are a part of the great whole. 

If you have personally not discovered your first steps to the great cosmic dance, I encourage you seek and find "the unique part you are playing in the great unfolding of the story of the world."

Sauntering Through the Woods

I think that I cannot preserve my health and spirits, unless I spend four hours a day at least - and it is commonly more than that - sauntering through the woods and over the hills and fields, absolutely free from all worldly engagements. 

~Henry David Thoreau

It is a glorious day!  The sun is out, no harsh wind blowing through the trees, and my schedule allows freedom to play.  I take Hannah, a golden retriever near and dear to my heart, for a walk through the woods.  We are both smiling, happy to be outside and away from others.

What is it about being in nature that calms my soul?  When the birds take flight singing their song, my eyes follow them across the sky, feeling as though a part of me is soaring above right along with them. 

As we walk along, I observe Hannah as she lifts her snout up into the air as though she is detecting delicacies fresh from an oven.  Her entire body wags in delight as she almost prances down the path. 

It is the trees who call loudest to me.  They have been stripped of their brilliantly colored leaves and yet they remain standing tall and proud.  Facing a season of brutal winds and freezing temperatures, they remain courageous.

We find ourselves off the beaten path.  I settle onto a bench hidden in the trees while Hannah quickly settles upon the ground, as happy as she can be.  This is where I can relax, breathe in the crisp air and exhale the built up holiday tensions.  I slowly return to being me.

Oh how I need this solitude, to be isolated from those I dearly love,  to have a gentle breeze sweep away the emotional remnants hanging in the hallways of my mind, and to rise spiritually out of this human form.

This is my favorite space in what is called time.  I am limitless, and not restrained by boundaries of any kind.  I am freely connected to bird, tree, and sun as it all becomes a part of me.  Suspended in nothingness, I am filled with all there is to be seen and unseen.  A sacred oneness enters me.

It is here in the woods with life kept at bay, that I have the strongest sense of self.  Surrounded by nature, all becomes holy.  I am content to be me.

Reluctantly, I stand to leave these sacred grounds and Hannah pauses as though she, too,  is saying good-bye.  Together we find our way back to the path, slowly retreating from the woods into the static noise of the world.

Finding the Child ...

 

 

There's nothing sadder in this world

than to awake Christmas morning

and not be a child.

Erma Bombeck

As the mother of four, making Christmas magical was a full time job.  Specialty stocking stuffers chosen specifically for each individual stocking took thought, preparation and time.  Christmas wrapping paper were of two different varieties: one was used only for Santa's presents, and the other for gifts from Mom or Dad.  Each child would receive his or her special ornament that had been selected with care (which they claimed for themselves once an adult leaving my tree almost bare!)

A variety of cookies needed to be baked as siblings never liked the same ones.  Groceries galore filled every inch of counter space.  Appropriate clothing for Christmas Eve church services or church Christmas programs or school Christmas programs needed to be purchased for all four growing children.  Hiding spots for the gathering purchases also needed to be discovered. 

Time had to be designated between the children's commitments, adult obligatory dinners, and gatherings of friends.  Then opportunities needed to be created between stories of the Christ child, Advent services, and religious reflection.

It is no wonder women suffer from empty nest syndrome once the children have all moved away.  What to do with all of the extra time? There are other resolves than waiting for grandchildren to start the crazy cycle of creating magic all over again.

After I had my children, I realized that I needed to withdraw from several activities in order to be the kind of mother I expected myself to be.  I recall this decision clearly and knew both then and years later that there would be time when to reclaim my life as my own.

Our age does not matter, however, when we have the opportunity to once again be a child.  Perhaps the awareness of a child could be with us daily.  We can hide gifts for friends; make a snow angel;  select a special present for ourselves, wrap it in decorative paper and place it mysteriously under the tree ... waiting like a child for Christmas morn.

Frequently, we are referred to as children of God.  In this sense we are called to experience life with childlike wonder, to maintain faith and trust like that of a child, and to play well with others.  Our gifts of course are not found under a tree, but rather well hidden and waiting to be discovered within ourselves.

So on this Christmas Day, through childlike eyes see the surrounding magic.  See the beauty of the earth, and the radiance in every one's hearts.  Listen for the whispers of guidance to be heard in the lyrics of Christmas Carols or to be found in the written word. 

Light one candle, just one small votive candle in honor of yourself, in respect for all that has been given and all that has yet to come.  Give praise and thanksgiving for the freedom to celebrate the Christmas Season in whatever manner you choose. 

 On this Christmas Day,

I wish you a heart full of happiness

and a mind filled with inspiration

and wonderment!