Celebration For What Remains ...

The stuff of our lives doesn't change.

It is we who change in relations to it.

Molly Vass

Reluctantly, I attended a meditation dedicated to a family who had a daughter, sister, wife, loved one whisked out of their lives without any notice.  I worried that the meditation would become dramatic and more depressing than the situation already was, as if that were possible.  But I was very inaccurate in my suspicions, as the evening left me feeling uplifted, strong, and honoring the lives of many.

We sat in a circle of faces known and unknown, both young and old.  There was a table in the middle of the room holding candles and items people had brought for the family ... an altar of sorts.  There were shells, rocks, necklaces, flowers and symbolic pieces of love.  We all signed a card as well as a small notebook our friend could turn to when she randomly needed to hear support when none was available to her. 

A puja was offered ... a puja is two circles with participants facing each other.  Only the outer circle moves to the left while the inner stationery circle holds the person across from them with the hands, eyes, and loving kindness enveloping them.  This may sound simple, but it is an extraordinary experience of silent communication.  It offers a safe place to release grief, love, forgiveness or any repressed emotions.  A few moments of being present in each others lives.

Artistic dance and expression followed.  In a circle, one by one, each participant was allowed the time to express what they were feeling through movement and the circle duplicated each individual sacred gesture. 

We also sat in a circle, allowing each person time to articulate their intentions for the family ... strength, hope, forgiveness, spiritual connection, beginning new paths.  Sentiments were also offered for the safe passage of this young vibrant woman into the thereafter, being greeted by what ever waited for her on the other side. 

There was drumming and chanting, freeing our spirits to join together in love, peace, and hope ... all energies extended to the table altar symbolizing the grieving family.  All lives were honored.  Lives of those present, past and yet to come.  Hopeful inspirations were abundant.

Driving home, I was so thankful I had attended this eclectic gathering of loved ones and friends.  It was not a morbid mourning of what was lost, but rather a hopeful celebration for everything remaining.

Level of Kindness

Some people go to priests;

Others to poetry,

I to my friends.

Virginia Woolf

Every week I attend a gathering of spiritual women.  We have been meeting for numerous years stretching, growing, learning, and sharing.  As one woman makes a discovery, through her sharing we are all moved forward.  If one woman stumbles in darkness we are there as sisters to support her best we can.  

Although we are certainly different from each other in age, career, and family, we all share the common bond of caring for the spiritual path of others.  During our time together, we ask for energy, light, and love to be sent to those we know as well as those we do not know.  We extend our intentions to our community, city, state, and across the world to all those who hunger or are lost in pain. 

Many of my friendships are equally supportive.  These "sisters of my heart"genuinely care about me and uplift me with their awareness and insight.  They seem to intuit when I need words and when I simply need the comfort of their presence. 

Frequently, it is difficult for me to reach out to others as my natural tendency is to withdraw.  It is important to remember when friends are lifting me up, they are lifting the level of kindness in the world as well.  We must be gracious receivers as well as givers.

 

Loving Self .... OSHO

Love Yourself You will feel the most significant experience, you will become ecstatic if you can feel that the whole existence needs you, that you will be missed, that if you are not here there will be a gap, you will be missed. You are not unnecessary, you are not superfluous; you have tremendous significance. Hence, love yourself. You are needed as much as the trees, as the flowers, as the birds, as the sun, as the moon, as the stars. You have to be here and you have a right to be the way you are. Osho If you do not have the sense that you need to be you, please have the sense to know that I need you to be you!

Sweet and Tart

Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind. 

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


Today is a lovely day by the water.  The lull of the waves, the peace of the gentle breeze, and the sun shining upon my face settle me into my lazy chair.  My toes dig deeply into the warmth of the sand while my eyes gently close in reverie.

It is then that I see you, my friend.  You are sitting on your porch waiting, just waiting for me to pass by.  We happily embrace and eagerly I sink into the waiting chair.  You have made lemonade for us, sweet and tart, just like life can sometimes be.

We sit and chat, laughing at the really big things and crying over some of the little niggling things.  We gently clasp hands, exchanging the 'knowing' that we each share, that our friendship will always endure, and that we will be connected forever more.

Time has passed oh too quickly and it is time I am back on my way.  We hug yet again, promising soon, so soon we will be together again to open our hearts, to share life's burdens, and to chase the darkness away. 

The seagull calls to me and I gently open my eyes.  The tide has rolled in and the waves are inches from my edge.  The sun is now resting behind a cloud, and the breeze blows my day dream away. 

A Friend Indeed

 

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force.  The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward.  When we are listened to, it creates us, make us unfold and expand.

 

Shel Silverstein

 

 

Attending a spiritual gathering, I found myself racing through the parking lot.  On my way,  I noticed a license plate that I was certain I had seen in my neighborhood.  I walk most every day, taking in the birds, flower beds, trees, homes and license plates on cars.

 

Upon entering the building, I started asking several of my friends about who owned the car with this particular license plate.  As soon as the woman was pointed out to me, I knew we had never met. 

 

After the gathering, I approached this woman and introduced myself.  Our brief exchange was enough to determine that we had an instant connection.  We ended up car pooling a few times, then coffee, and then lunch meetings.  We discovered we had numerous friends in common and quickly became friends.

 

A few years have passed now and this woman easily has become a 'sister of my heart'.  Although she would sometimes say I am the teacher, she needs to remember that the teacher frequently becomes the student.  I have learned about her compassion, resilience, and desire to extend loving kindness to others.  She does not really realize how she is frequently pulled into situations where she becomes an angel in disguise.  She is more than willing to allow Spirit to use her in helping others above and beyond the expected. 

 

Life continues to challenge her, but optimistic she remains.  She is mindful to replenish her spirit so she can continue to generously give to unsuspecting souls.  Opportunities present themselves to her regularly allowing others to share their story as she is a wonderful listener.  She offers compassion without any trace of judgment or expectation in return.

 

Her friendship has been a gift to me and I treasure her presence in my life.  Our special relationship continues to expand and unfold as we lovingly open our hearts and souls.

 

 

 

 

When Family Gathers ...

 

Love does not dominate;

it cultivates.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Gathering dear friends through the front door, I glanced down to discover the clematis I planted last year.  It had several deep purple blossoms fully opened graciously greeting our guests.  It had already began its climb up the trellis with plenty of new buds.

Everyone had brought food to share and delicious aromas filled the air.  Monkey Bread, Egg Casserole, Cheesy Potatoes, Fresh Fruit Salad, Spinach Salad, Biltmore's Famous Bacon/Cheese/Onion Dip with lots of veggies, Ham, and a Summer Delight Strawberry Dessert.  There were plenty of Mimosas and Sangrias passed around as these wonderful human beings formed a community of love around the dining room table.

Funny stories were once again told and updates of other friends were shared.  The conversation was relaxed, fun, and nurturing as we counted our blessings and shared thoughts about our families of origin spread across the United States.

Ignoring the dirty dishes, we spilled outside to the patio table and chairs where the hours leisurely slipped by.  A few folks continued on to other commitments, but the original core remained in the beautiful outdoors soaking up the sunshine and passing our new little Juniper Rose around, now nearly three months old.

There is nothing like sitting in a circle of friends where dreams, disappointments and fears can be safely shared.  I find myself amazed at the lengthy journeys already made by some people who are only thirty.  It pleases my heart to hear them report how they navigated through their challenges and in spite of the odds became wiser for the wear and tear.  Several times I felt my spirit lift in celebration of the resilience of the storyteller.  It isn't always the case to find a wiser soul at the end of a story.  When the challenge has not been mastered a bitter and unhappy person stands before you ... still struggling  ... still waiting to be rescued ... and all one can do is extend love, light, and energy. 

As evening drew near, we retreated into the house and snuggled into the family room where the conversation shifted to still another level.  We began to focus on things unseen and the world at large.  Our minds began to embrace new and different ideas accompanied by personal revelations. 

Ah, the safety of friends deemed 'family'.  I looked into the faces of those surrounding me and I felt inspired, loved, and hopeful.  I was inspired by individual stories that could only be told in safe boundaries.  I felt loved by the acceptance and compassion received from those who listened.  I was extremely hopeful that more and more people were reaching inside and configuring new dreams based upon their now recognizable strengths.  And laughter, the great healing agent when family gathers!