Journey of Souls

Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.
Eskimo Proverb


There are still no birds outside my kitchen window.  There hasn't been since yesterday's hawk, one of my most favorite birds, ate a little bird under the bush.  I am patiently waiting for their trust in the safety of my yard so they will all return ... except the hawk of course, no matter how special his appearance originally seemed.

For some reason these last several months have been heavily visited by death which always churns emotions for others and my own mortality.  Like the hawk and little bird, I understand there is a natural order to life and reasons for death we cannot possibly fathom; however, facts are of little comfort to raw emotions.

This morning I attempted to make an appointment for a hair cut prior to our month's visit to Key West.  Usually this isn't a problem, but apparently the lovely woman who patiently manages my hair, has just experienced the death of her father.  He was an older man with a wonderful wife and the family seems to be quite close.  My heart goes out to them.

For the life of me, I cannot imagine death as final for our 'essence' or soul or spiritual component.  Watching nature, the physical pushes itself into the living, and eventually the physical dies, but frequently repeats the cycle.  It would seem that our physical bodies would do the same, housing our spirit until the process was over.

If we follow the Christian belief system, we know that there is death, resurrection, and life following death.  The Bible tells us of being rejoined with everyone in Heaven.  Throughout the ages, philosophers, poets, and writers have discussed the theories of death being a passage not the end in itself, and realms of spiritual existence.  Currently, more people believe in some form of an existence after death, and there continues to be documentation about those who have 'crossed over'.

If we are open to the topic of life after death, here are some excellent authors who have maintained their own research and sterling reputation:  Elizabeth Kubler Ross, Brian Weiss, and Raymond Moody.   If we really wanted to broaden our thinking, without exposing our selves to sci/fi horror, Michael Newton, Ph.D. wrote a very interesting book entitled JOURNEY OF SOULS followed by DESTINY OF SOULS.  This first book offers us a delightful vision of what  very well may be true.  Actually, Journey of Souls description of life after death is quite appealing to me!

Blown Away

Love comes unseen;

we only see it go.

Austin Dobson

We are all multi-sided individuals, creating different sides to one personality.  There are masks to give the appearance of what we are not or to hide what we are.  It is rare that we show all sides of ourselves to one person.

I was thinking of my children and how they would describe me or remember me when I have passed.  They knew me very well as a mother and a grandmother, but what about the other parts of me?

There are those from my career that knew what high standards I held for myself and what ethics I maintained for all people.  Privately, however, they really knew very little about me.

Sisters of my heart, my very dearest of friends, know me very deeply.  They have been present during my anger, pain, and joy.  They have witnessed my unfolding with encouragement and support.  And yet, there is much they do not know.

My daughter, perhaps, knows me best of all having been so constant and loving in my life over the years.  She has seen many sides of me and embraced me when times were very difficult.  The truth remains, she has never walked around in my mind where unexplainable knowledge resides.

As I grow older, I have integrated my private self with my public self by being less public and more out spoken in private.  There is less motivation to be 'known' as I do feel understood, accepted and loved.

There is so much left inside of me however, I feel all of this seeking and recording will have been in vain.  Like leaves falling from the branches of the trees, my most inner thoughts will be blown away by the wind. 

 

Live Each Day

It's only when we truly know and understand

that we have a limited time on earth ~ 

and that we have no way of knowing

when our time is up ~

that we will begin to live each day

to the fullest,

as if it was the only one we had.

***Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

  

I unexpectedly viewed Kevin Costner (actor) delivering an eulogy to Whitney Houston (singer and actress) at her funeral.  I listened to his words about this talented and beautiful woman who led a life riddled with insecurities.  His words haunted me as they were words that I have heard so many disclose ... doubts about our own personal worth.

It is so sad to me that there is such a strong disconnect between our authentic beauty and our presence in daily living.  We can all bring to mind someone we admire who repeatedly criticizes and underestimates himself or herself.  We are amazed that someone so gifted could have so many doubts.

Life itself is filled with challenges we have come to master, but did we bring such desecration of our inner self from the start?  What washed away our communion with the Divine?  Who separated our body, mind, and spirit leaving us so fragmented?

My belief system allows me to feel a personal loss when someone dies, but it also creates a curiosity about the transition death and dying triggers.  I confidently believe that in death we simply cross over into another realm or another dimension of living.  It is my conception that while the physical body dies, our spiritual self lives on eternally.

So the sadness I felt today was not about Whitney Houston's death, but rather about her inability to embrace her self while on this earth.  What impacts me even more deeply is the fact that many of us experience the same desperation seeking release in a variety of obsessions.  The emotional isolation that goes undetected in those we love so dearly, concerns me greatly.  To be left helplessly watching someone spiral out of control is even worse.  

The best thing we can do, perhaps, is to live each day as meaningful as we can, embracing others with sincere compassion while maintaining a balance between spiritual and material existence.  Try to begin each day with gratitude for all of our blessings and keep seeking for the Divine connection within.

***Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote a wonderful book about death and dying that opened my youthful eyes and broadened my earlier adult concepts about life.  Later, she wrote a book on death and dying of children which was one of the most difficult, yet inspiring books I have yet to read.

Tremendously More True, HAFIZ

TREMENDOUSLY MORE TRUE

She had a dream that told her she was going to pass from this world.

And on the day before, she still felt well, but believed these were her last hours, and come morning friends would be looking at her as she lay still no longer breathing.

She went into her garden as she as she always had before dark and spoke to the plants as she would.

Never more beautiful did the world look, never more a part of everything she now knew she was.

An assurance, some absolute certainty opened up in her and she knew any mortal identifications one could have were such a small part of something tremendously more true ... that awaited our knowing.

Her whole life she saw was like a slipper, often too tight, she had worn for a long day, and did not now mind at all taking it off.

She lay down that night, then merged into a brilliant Sky----

someone could call God, she found her soul had always, had always been holding in its hand.

A YEAR WITH HAFIZ

Daniel Ladinsky