Finding the Child ...

 

 

There's nothing sadder in this world

than to awake Christmas morning

and not be a child.

Erma Bombeck

As the mother of four, making Christmas magical was a full time job.  Specialty stocking stuffers chosen specifically for each individual stocking took thought, preparation and time.  Christmas wrapping paper were of two different varieties: one was used only for Santa's presents, and the other for gifts from Mom or Dad.  Each child would receive his or her special ornament that had been selected with care (which they claimed for themselves once an adult leaving my tree almost bare!)

A variety of cookies needed to be baked as siblings never liked the same ones.  Groceries galore filled every inch of counter space.  Appropriate clothing for Christmas Eve church services or church Christmas programs or school Christmas programs needed to be purchased for all four growing children.  Hiding spots for the gathering purchases also needed to be discovered. 

Time had to be designated between the children's commitments, adult obligatory dinners, and gatherings of friends.  Then opportunities needed to be created between stories of the Christ child, Advent services, and religious reflection.

It is no wonder women suffer from empty nest syndrome once the children have all moved away.  What to do with all of the extra time? There are other resolves than waiting for grandchildren to start the crazy cycle of creating magic all over again.

After I had my children, I realized that I needed to withdraw from several activities in order to be the kind of mother I expected myself to be.  I recall this decision clearly and knew both then and years later that there would be time when to reclaim my life as my own.

Our age does not matter, however, when we have the opportunity to once again be a child.  Perhaps the awareness of a child could be with us daily.  We can hide gifts for friends; make a snow angel;  select a special present for ourselves, wrap it in decorative paper and place it mysteriously under the tree ... waiting like a child for Christmas morn.

Frequently, we are referred to as children of God.  In this sense we are called to experience life with childlike wonder, to maintain faith and trust like that of a child, and to play well with others.  Our gifts of course are not found under a tree, but rather well hidden and waiting to be discovered within ourselves.

So on this Christmas Day, through childlike eyes see the surrounding magic.  See the beauty of the earth, and the radiance in every one's hearts.  Listen for the whispers of guidance to be heard in the lyrics of Christmas Carols or to be found in the written word. 

Light one candle, just one small votive candle in honor of yourself, in respect for all that has been given and all that has yet to come.  Give praise and thanksgiving for the freedom to celebrate the Christmas Season in whatever manner you choose. 

 On this Christmas Day,

I wish you a heart full of happiness

and a mind filled with inspiration

and wonderment!

Santa Claus, Symbol of Hope

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.

- W. C. Fields

My earliest memory of Christmas is pretending to be intrigued by the age old stories of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and Frosty the Snow Man as I held my little books in my lap.  I was not allowed to help decorate the tree as I apparently did not do it 'right'.  So as my sister and mother joyfully decorated the tree, I remained alone on the couch . 

My eyes would wander over to the wooden manger with all of the statues of animals, shepherds, wise men, Mary and Joseph, and of course the baby Jesus in the manger.  The star that was placed by edge of the roof always held my attention.  There was an unexplainable significance in the star always remaining just out of my reach.

Every Christmas Eve my family attended church services.  As a small child, I did not feel much of a celebration with the birth of Christ knowing that he would soon be crucified.   My imagination, however, was always captivated by the brilliance of all the candles filling the church.  This fascination with the flickering flames of light continues today.

Santa Claus was important to me, but not because of any glamorous presents and toys.  He brought a sense of magic I desperately needed in my life.  It was difficult for me to stop believing in him and to face my emotional isolation.  I was 13 years old when I finally released my childhood fantasy of Santa.

As an adult, I began to shop for wooden Santa Claus figures.  I have accumulated quite a collection, purchasing one per year.  I have kept them in a cabinet for many years, always displaying them at Christmas time.  Each Santa holds unique meaning for me and individual placement is given great care. 

Every Christmas, my children received presents from Santa, and the gifts were signed with distinguished penmanship.  I created a specific signature for "Santa"

which I continue to use to this day.  As grown adults, I believe that my children continue to enjoy the random surprises found in their stockings that "Santa" continues to fill.

The child in me still watches for Santa Claus as

I realize that no matter how old you are or what he is named (Santa, St. Nick, Father Time) he is a symbol of hope.  Every year, my lips break into a smile every time I hear, "Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!"

Christmas Candles

A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;

It makes no noise at all,

But softly gives itself away;

While quite unselfish, it grows small.

- Eva K. Logue

Early on, I loved candles.  I do not remember them in my childhood home except for special occasions or birthdays, but the candles near stained glass windows in church mesmorized me. 

In college, we were never allowed to have candles in our dorms for fire safety reasons, so my exploration into candles began when I married.  Throughout the year, my candles were ignited regularly.  One summer evening, a friend dropped by and exclaimed, "It looks like Christmas in here!  What are you celebrating?"  I love candles.

Candles bring light into a room, but they also bring light into my soul.  If I am nestled in my reading chair, I like to have a candle burning.  Sometimes when I get up of a morning, I like to light a candle in celebration of the day or of my life.  I can stare into the flame of a candle in easily get lost or suspended in time.  A flame seems to diminish the chill of the world.

And so it is Christmas, an appropriate time for candles.  We will begin to see them everywhere ... stores, church services, homes, and outside decorations.  Wherever you happen to be, I suggest you pause and focus on the flame of the candle. 

The flame of the candle can be associated with the light of Christ or the light of the world.  Watch it flicker and feel its warmth extend into your heart.  Embrace the light, welcome it into your heart.  Let it brighten your space and time on this earth.

turning point

turning point

“ lighting a candle in her own darkness,
she came and brought it to the others.
'i understand,' she whispered, 'and i want to help.'
there was safety in what she offered.
there was hope in the flickering shadows.
quietly, they gathered.
and it began.
crying, trusting, struggling, sharing.
empowering and celebrating,
they grew and became more.
taking their own candles back to their own worlds
they changed the darkness back to light. ”

~terri st. cloud
 www.bonesigharts.com

and finally ...

" ... and finally she came to the place

whether the other no longer mattered.

where Grace lit up the room.

lighting her candle

from that sacred flame ---

she went out to warm the world."

terri st. cloud

bonesigharts.blogspot.com

The Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church celebrated its 24th Greek Festival and the attendance was high.  The weather was beautiful and the gala music floated through the air.   There were food tents and tables filled with candles, jewelry, and religious mementos.

Tours of the church were offered, so I wandered inside.  The wooden pews, the decorative paintings, and the design all reflected a religion that I did not know, but I felt invited and embraced.  Towards the back of the church, there was an area with skinny beeswax candles stuck in sand burning brightly.  For a small donation, an unlit candle could be chosen, then touched to an existing burning candle.

Clearing my mind, I was careful in selecting my candle from the pile.  As I walked over to the burning candles, I waited for a prayer to form.  Almost instantly from my heart, the words came tumbling out.  ... 'Thank you!  Thank you so much for my four children and grandchildren who have taught me how to love and remain resilient."  I moved the wick of my candle into a flame and as it ignited, I felt a tender warmth in my heart. 

As I walked out of the church, the festival activities once again surrounded me and lifted my spirits even higher.  I felt joyful and almost buoyant.   It was good to watch the children dancing in costume and to hear adults heartily singing words I did not understand.  To be in the midst of this celebration my warmth naturally flowed into a collective feeling of being one.