Finding Safe Passage

The heights by great men

reached and kept,

were not attained by sudden flight,

but they,

while their companions slept,

were toiling upward in the night.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

In my late twenties, I was reading a book that supported the idea of re-framing our language to change our self-assessments and general out look on living.  The substitution of words that impacted me the most were "I made a mistake," instead of "I failed."  Somehow, I had been thinking that every time I did not succeed or perform to the best of my abilities, I had failed. Failing carries a great deal of pressure and judgment whereas making a mistake is correctable and forgivable.  

Several months ago, I was reading an inspirational message suggesting the substitution for the word "worry" with the word "wonder."  I thought I would give it a try, and once again I felt a definite shift in how these two words impacted me.  The word worry is frequently accompanied by stress, anxiety, and tension.  The word wonder is light, creative, and positive in nature.

Now enters Dr. Wayne Dyer who distinguishes between the two words beliefs and knowledge.  "Beliefs," Dr. Dyer explains, "are notions we acquire from the outside world -  judgments and world view of those who influence us.  Knowledge, on the other hand, proceeds from within.  We know what we know because we know it, and it has nothing to do with what anyone else tells us or does."

The difference between words can alter the cadence of our life.  By re-framing through the choice of using words that are accurately defined and less harsh, alters how we feel about our selves and the world we live in.  For example, the word "sin" is derived from a Greek archery term meaning "to miss the mark." How in the world did this word get so twisted into a threat of being condemned to hell?

We choose our words carefully.  We try not to offend.  We speak in a way that others will understand us and accept us.  And the more we do this, the farther we grow away from our own truth and identity.

I had been selected to be a part of a team to present an inspirational message to an audience of emotionally and spiritually wounded human beings.  I was very excited about this opportunity and I gathered several of my favorite books to be used as resources.  I quickly made an outline that would include all of the support the audience would be wanting to hear.

The team met for a preliminary meeting and the chairman, a man I greatly respected, examined our outlines and accompanying notes.  I knew he would be very pleased with my expertise.  After he read through my material,  I could tell that in his hesitation he was trying to find the best words. 

This kind gentleman looked me right in the eye and said, "These are wonderful facts based in psychology and sociology, but I want you to go home and write from your heart."  I was stunned.

Eager to do my best, I immediately picked up my pen and started writing based on my feelings from personal experience.  I wrote what I felt was a definite part of my self.  I understood that the listeners would not be hearing from my professional self, but from my own wounds and healing.

At the weekend retreat, I did not find my self to be nervous.  I was uncomfortable with allowing my self to be so vulnerable, but I was willing to be open.  I asked spirit to use my words to comfort all who were present.

The end result was overwhelming.  Without referring to one note, I spoke to the hearts of each person present.  I offered encouragement and the promise of living in the light again.  There was not a dry eye in the audience when I ended with, "It is not enough to know God's love, we must be God's love."  I have 'no' idea where those words came from other than the knowledge that dwells within us.

So when we are crossing a bridge from one section of life into the next and a fog seems to settle in, we can think about the impact of our words.  We must choose our words wisely from our heart as we work steadily to improve our life.  The fog will clear, the sun will rise, and we will find safe passage once again.

 

Daring Greatly

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be
with those timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt
26th President Of The United States

Find two pieces of identically clean paper. The first piece, place untouched in a safe and clean place.

  Take the other blank piece of paper and examine it,

looking at the sheer plainness

and unmarked beauty of the fiber. 

Notice the pristine texture of the sheet. 

Now fold the paper in half, gently. 

Turn the paper around and fold it again, carefully. 

Continue to fold the paper over and over,

creasing the folds heavily. 

Carry it in your back pocket or billfold. 

Shove it in a drawer or with a stash of other papers.
Then when you have almost forgotten about it, retrieve it.

Unfold the paper and notice the creases, discoloration,

and change in the texture. 

Look very closely at all of the wrinkles and changes. 

Now compare the other piece of paper

that had been kept 'safe' and 'clean'.

Which do you find more interesting and intriguing? 

Safe and pristine or weathered and worn?

Read the words of Theodore Roosevelt again.

Coping with Christmas

What is Christmas?  It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future.  It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace. 

~Agnes M. Pahro

Holidays bring families and loved ones together, but old family patterns can release tremendous feelings of sadness and loss.  Revisited memories can stir up insecurities and re-open old wounds.

We can maintain our sense of loving kindness in spite of our emotional triggers.  Be mindful of forgiveness (not condoning inappropriate behavior), extend blessings (all people need blessings more than idle chatter),  bestow respect (this reflects our own nature rather than judgment), and maintain boundaries (regulate the time spent with people who do not encourage our chosen path).

Coping with Christmas becomes easier when we treat our selves as we would treat our friends.  If we find our selves 'out of sorts', then we need to ask, "What would I do for a friend in this situation?"  Then act accordingly.  Be nice to you!