The Chicken or The Egg

The present was an egg

laid by the past

that had the future

inside its shell.

Zora Neale Hurston

Folklorist

1903 ~ 1960

Many references are made to the caterpillar's transition into a butterfly.  But what of the chicken fighting to crack the egg?  In THE BOOK OF AWAKENING, Mark Nepo says "Every crack is also an opening." Imagine being encased watching the space grow smaller and smaller.  The chicken cracks the shell by its own growth believing the world as it knows it is coming to an end.  All is falling away as the chick wiggles through the cracks.  The chicken does not die.  It begins a new life in a new world. 

In life, we cast off masks, break out of self-imposed shells, and struggle to regain safe footing.  Transitions are never easy, but new beginnings make the process worthwhile.  While growing up, we gather experiences and learn lessons.  There comes a time to let incidents of the past go, while maintaining the wisdom of the lesson.  In the present, we prepare for what will best suit us in the future.  Life may require sacrifice and loss, as we acquire strength and endurance. 

There was a time I used to feel that the future never really arrives, but with passing years, I find myself actually living in this so called future.  And if I do not relinquish enough of my past nor apply the wisdom learned in my present, I run the risk of creating cracks in this so called future.

Mark Nepo reflects that a crack is an opportunity for new life.  I wonder then, if when I get too many cracks in this so called future,  when I think I am suffocating and dying, will I simply squeeze through the cracks leaving the world as I know it, but actually fall into yet another new world?

I truly do not expect answers or explanations to my questions.  After all, they still seem to be working on what came first, the chicken or the egg!

Gardening the Soul

"Expect to have hope rekindled.

Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways.

The dry seasons in life do not last.

The spring rains will come again."

-- Sarah Ban Breathnach

 

Spring is the season of renewal.  The clocks 'spring' forward granting us less darkness and more light in our days.  Spending more time in 'light' offers us the opportunity for new vision, a new perception, and new method of growing.  The minds of human beings are as fertile as the rich earth waiting for new sprouts.  It is a time to visualize what we would like to grow in our lives with our tender loving care.

The spring season is like a healing process.  We need to clear away old debris, allowing the sun to warm our soul, bringing back to life our passion and desires.  Once our focus is defined,  we protect these new seeds from inclimate weather and adventurous animals.  We must tend to our soul, supplying wisdom and courage for sufficient growth.  We must loosely till our ideas enabling sprouts to easily shoot up through the earth, reaching for the sun.  We must be brave as new stems will have to face the wind, the rain, and the storms.  If we remain faithful to our healing process, buds begin to appear.  These newly formed buds are tender and precious.  They must be given time to gently unfold in their own time.  These buds must not be prematurely exposed as self-doubt and criticism can chew their heart away.

The gardener of the soul must be patient and diligent.  A true caretaker of what is present and what is yet to come, he or she must be closely connected to the entire process, knowing exactly how and when to commune.  Through close observation, the gardener responds when there is too little rain or too much sun.  He or she realizes each seed has a unique growing period and in order to survive, attention is given to the natural flow of the entire process.

Spring rain cleanses during this early season, washing off the old and preparing for the new.  The extended hours of light allow work to be done on observations, charting, and care for the goal.  When darkness falls upon the garden, it is time for the gardener to self-nurture and restore. 

The gardener faces each morning without the sense of toil.  He or she simply anticipates the joy of tending to the soul.  With every given day, the gardener beckons spring to gently unfold.

The Need To Be Outside

She turned to the sunlight
    And shook her yellow head,
And whispered to her neighbor:
    "Winter is dead.”

---A.A. Milne

When We Were Very Young

 

The coffee was in the final stages of brewing while I stood by my kitchen window surveying the damages made by the twelve inches of snow last week.  My eyes fell upon a rabbit, the first I had seen this spring.  Rabbits are a symbol for fertility and new life.  I was aware of the squirrel not far off and wondered when the hare would notice it approaching.  When the rabbit froze in position, I knew the squirrel was being observed.  Swishing its long tail, the squirrel boldly came closer and closer.  Without an instant of notice, the rabbit darted off making quick and rapid turns, clearly leaving the squirrel behind. 

According to ANIMALS SPEAK by author Ted Andrews, we learn from the rabbit the ability to take advantage of opportunities that may only present themselves for brief moments.  We must be able to recognize movements within our lives and be fast in  our reaction.  Squirrels are representative of busy activity and preparedness while displaying balance between work and play.    Squirrels pose the question of being too active or not active enough or just erratic, running around accomplishing nothing. 

Dissatisfied with my search, I poured my first cup of java  and returned to the window.  The honeysuckle bush had been filled with buds prior to last week's snow.  I had been concerned the wet snow was too heavy on the branches, but it seemed fine now.  I was happy to see a robin in the bush and I listened for a song.  Robins symbolize the spread of new growth or the initiation of creativity.

I continued to wait by the window in hopes of spotting a male cardinal to make my morning backyard survey complete.  The cardinal symbolizes renewed vitality through recognizing self-importance.  I needed to see this dash of red to add color to my life, and to remind me all that I do has importance. 

The cardinal was a 'no show', so I contented my self with the reminder that winter had officially passed, and signs of spring would soon be everywhere.  I threw on my coat and walking shoes, deciding to extend my search for spring through-out the neighborhood.  April had finally arrived and I had the need to be outside.

Color Your Day

Forget the past

It’s just a dream you keep alive by dreaming
A bubble that wants to hit the ground and burst
But which you keep afloat by thinking.

The past is only a tail
You keep dragging behind you
Collecting dust and dirt
Until it’s so heavy with bitterness and regret
It stops you moving forward.

You don’t have to sit there and watch
While the scenes of your past play back
The tragic-comedy of your life
Simmering with hurt and envy
Shuddering with embarrassment
Stabbing yourself with pangs of regret.

There is no past
There are only memories of events
And every memory is refracted through
A hall of mental mirrors
Until whatever once was true
Dissipates and disappears
Like vapour trails fading in the sky.

So cut the tail, and cut the tale
Turn the mental projector off
Don’t strain your eyes trying to see through the fog
When the panorama of the present stretches
Clear and bright around you.

by Steve Taylor



Every day is a new day or a new opportunity to begin again.  As we shower of a morn, we can visualize washing off all negativity, all heaviness from the past.  We can change our morning routine or navigate a different way to work.  We can create a new communication with those who surround us by setting our attitude and tone to a higher level of interest. 

At lunch we can view our surroundings as though we had new glasses to look through.  Keep looking until we find something we have never noticed before whether it is minimal or magnificent.  Begin the afternoon with a new sense of energy and an eagerness to do your best.

On your way home, recall only the good aspects of the day.  Find a different route home and notice as though it were the first time to view the neighborhood.  Upon arrival home, mix it up.  Maybe turn on some music before we begin our evening habits.  If we are alone, maybe take an early soak in the tub with a nice cup of hot tea or a very red Chablis.  If we have family surrounding us, invite them to assist in dinner preparation and encourage conversation about their day.  Let our thoughts wander through their day and really listen without trying to solve problems.

As we retire into our bed for a long night of sleep, journal or read a favorite poem or do yoga's lazy child's pose to stretch your back and deepen our breath.  While waiting for sleep, think in colors and fantasize what wonderful really looks like.

In the morning, begin again.  Get into the spirit of things and get really creative with changes for another new day.  How many tiny changes can we make each day before we realize we color our day either by dark thoughts from the past or vibrant colors of no limitations!

Once Called Home

The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving.  I didn't want to destroy anything or anybody.  I just wanted to slip out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland.

Elizabeth Gilbert
Eat, Pray, Love


A month ago, I sat on my daughter's back patio.  There were so many memories of this dwelling place, but now she was moving on to create a new space to call home.  New opportunities were waiting, and life always continues on.

From the lovely windows in her back den, I had watched snow fall, spring flowers bloom, wisteria stretch its arms over the picket fence, and fall leaves gently float to the outer back yard.  I watched her Golden Retriever blend into the fall background, and then come prancing when I called her name, "Hannah".  The Tuxedo cat, Trudy, was always lingering by the windows observing Hannah's every move. 

As I sat for the last time on this patio, I recalled happy times here of celebration with gathered friends; birthday party bubbles and sparklers for when my girl turned 30; hours of leisure reading and endless notes in a journal;  and worried times when the future was shifting and changing for both of us. 

While rocking in my white wicker rocker, I knew that life always continues whether we are ready or not.  Decisions that seem so resolute untangle into a free fall and the only firm grasp is faith in Spirit.

My gaze moved upwards towards the sky and I noticed the yellow finch flying near to say good-bye.  It seemed to make my farewell complete.

Begin ...





It Is I Who Must Begin

It is I who must begin.
Once I begin, once I try --
here and now,
right where I am,
not excusing myself
by saying things
would be easier elsewhere,
without grand speeches and
ostentatious gestures,
but all the more persistently
-- to live in harmony
with the "voice of Being," as I
understand it within myself
-- as soon as I begin that,
I suddenly discover,
to my surprise, that
I am neither the only one,
nor the first,
nor the most important one
to have set out
upon that road.

Whether all is really lost
or not depends entirely on
whether or not I am lost.

~ Vaclav Havel ~

(Teaching With Fire, ed. by S.M. Intrator and M. Scribner)

New Beginnings of Spring

The cool wind blew in my face

and all at once

I felt I had shed dullness from myself.

The birds were singing.

It was spring.

Burl Ives

 

Spring is here and I feel as though I have just awakened from a long winter's nap.  The birds are all singing and the grass is greening while the flowers are making their debut.  Once again I feel a joy, a connection with all of life.  I am ready to begin again, to plant seeds and nurture them for creative growth.  My energy is coursing through my body and I am excited to move forward again!


On small slips of paper, I have written down all of the 'shoulds' in my life (I should attend ... I should call ...) and placed them in a small brown paper bag.  I went out to the garden and buried the sack below the rich garden soil.

There is newly found freedom in letting these 'shoulds' go.  A heaviness has been lifted and I excitedly wonder how my life will grow.  I want it to unfold without structure or obligations, to just gently flow. 

I long for Spirit to move me through the mysteries of nature and into the creative silence I have known as bliss.  During the day, I will wait in the white wicker rocker with sunshine on my face.  I will linger on the porch swing of the evening, watching as the moon slowly glides across the sky.  Even in dream time, I will maintain an awareness for the new beginnings of spring.

Be a Beginner ...

Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.

--Meister Eckhart

This morning as I was waking up, I was delighted to see the sun shining.  Darkness had carried away the storms of the night, calmed the winds and grumblings in the sky.  I could hear the birds celebrating the spring like morning while anticipating the warmth of a sunny afternoon.  As my eyes adjusted, I noticed in the back area of the yard a bush opening its newly sprouted leaves.  Spring Equinox is just a few days away and I long for the winter to pass so a new season can begin.

As I continue gazing out my bedroom window, I notice my neighbor with his garden tools.  He is working the ground and planning where his vegetables and flowers will grow.  It seems that he is excited for this new season of growth and eager for the rewards. The neighbor on the other side is spreading grass seed in his yard.  He, too, has anticipation for the arrival of spring. New beginnings are just that way.

Realizing I am probably the only one on the block still in bed, I drag myself up and indulge in my first cup of coffee.  I sit on the back porch breathing in the fresh morning air and allowing the sun to warm my pale white feet.  I know I will hunt for my sandals today and begin the transition of putting away heavy clothes and dragging out spring delights.

With birds singing in the background and the sounds of neighbors tinkering in their yards, I open my awareness in hopes of collecting morning inspiration.  I breathe in fresh air and slowly breathe out heaviness.  Three times I do this before I feel my body relax and my heart open.  My mind finally quiets and I can miraculously blend with all that surrounds me.

Winter is very symbolic for me.  It represents my tendency to hibernate and withdraw.  It has been cold almost harsh at times with struggle and challenge at my door.  In seclusion, I am forced to review what resides within waiting to be discarded or refurbished.  It is necessary and yet painful at times to make way for the new by letting go of the old.  What may have seemed dark and damaged in the darkness of winter, however, may now appear bright and beautiful in the warm sunshine and rain.  Rain will come and cleanse emotions, preparing me for the new growth of each beginning day.  

I will once again be a beginner this spring, embracing as much as I can.  I promise to trust in the unfolding of life and have faith.  In the summer I will tolerate any heat tending to wilt my spirit, and remain eager to discover the fruits of my labor come fall.  

  

Unseen Grid

"Your need is connected to someone else's;

at this very moment someone wants to offer the very thing you seek.  Know that the divine connection system is always operating."

~Hilda

My dear friend Bonnie always points out that God has a plan before we even have the desire.  So once again, as human beings, we require patience for the plan to come together.

Every night we may fall to our bed, heavy laden with unfulfilled desires, but every morning we awaken with a clean slate.  With each sunrise, we get to start anew.

We can begin again in each and every moment, hour, day, month, year, while waiting to connect the dots for our intention.  Often times, we must repeat or regroup or redesign until the appropriate networking is complete.

We forget the divine network that supports our efforts and some are unaware of the unseen grid surrounding us.  We are like molecules bumping into each other.  We do not become aware of the connectedness until we are aligned with what is necessary for our plan. 

This unseen grid intrigues me.  I met a woman one time who I had heard many good things about.  I was certain that our paths had never crossed before. Once I met her, however, I realized we had been attending the same meetings and trainings on a regular basis.  We laughed and wondered how many years our paths had been crossing, but we just didn't know it. 

My daughter, living in Tennessee, mentioned to a fellow Nashville colleague that she was born and raised in a small Illinois town.  The colleague mentioned attending college in a small Illinois town and it turned out to be located in my daughter's birth place.

Last July I attended a meeting at a location I had never previously visited.  I walked into the room and knew no one there.  Being new to the community, I sat down next to a woman and through conversation learned that she had grown up 30 minutes from where I used to live.

There are endless stories like the ones above.  None of them may be earth shattering, but joined together we discover these synchronicities, coincidental or accidental meetings, or flukes bring desires together in an almost magical way.   

We walk amongst strangers every day, but I feel certain that if and when we take the time to be friendly, we would discover some sort of shared link in this unseen grid.  If we took the time to greet those around us in the manner we greet babies in a grocery store, the world would be a more friendly place.  We would realize our similarities and no longer see each other as strangers. 

So we don't need to give up on our dreams and desires just because they have not taken form.  It does not mean that they are wrong, but rather we have not yet met the person who offers the need we seek!