The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving. I didn't want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland.
Elizabeth Gilbert
Eat, Pray, Love
A month ago, I sat on my daughter's back patio. There were so many memories of this dwelling place, but now she was moving on to create a new space to call home. New opportunities were waiting, and life always continues on.
From the lovely windows in her back den, I had watched snow fall, spring flowers bloom, wisteria stretch its arms over the picket fence, and fall leaves gently float to the outer back yard. I watched her Golden Retriever blend into the fall background, and then come prancing when I called her name, "Hannah". The Tuxedo cat, Trudy, was always lingering by the windows observing Hannah's every move.
As I sat for the last time on this patio, I recalled happy times here of celebration with gathered friends; birthday party bubbles and sparklers for when my girl turned 30; hours of leisure reading and endless notes in a journal; and worried times when the future was shifting and changing for both of us.
While rocking in my white wicker rocker, I knew that life always continues whether we are ready or not. Decisions that seem so resolute untangle into a free fall and the only firm grasp is faith in Spirit.
My gaze moved upwards towards the sky and I noticed the yellow finch flying near to say good-bye. It seemed to make my farewell complete.
