The Other Side of Nothingness

"I spent my life learning to feel less.
Every day I felt less.
Is that growing old? Or is it something worse?
You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”

Jonathan Safran Foer

To grow up minimizing the self and taking up as little space as possible, yet being gregarious to receive validation of any sort, is much  like a weed pushing up through a crack in the sidewalk.  The wild weed seeks everything at great risk with out anything but the sun coaxing it out of the darkness.  Without faith, hope, and trust, it is doubtful the weed will succeed.

To push out of the darkness one feels way too vulnerable standing before the sun.  So we seek shade for protection like Eve hiding from the garden sun.  How odd we are birthed into the light and yet we seek to disguise our nakedness.  We strive for the light and yet we fear to be exposed.

What price must we pay for authenticity, to completely unfold?  Obstacles and damage cause us to bend and sway, but curiosity beckons us further down the way.  We seemingly arrive strong and bold, ready to welcome what we desire to hold.  The space is endless and the silence deafening, and still we appear  alone.

The weed struggles out of the darkness and into the light only to discover there lies something still beyond the light.  So search again we must while we stretch and grow a little more.   With faith, hope, and trust, surely we will eventually pass through all illusion,  exploring the other side of nothingness. 

Allowing Truth to Rise Within





                                                     “You can't stop the future
                                                      You can't rewind the past
                                                  The only way to learn the secret
                                                          ...is to press play.”

                                                                Jay Asher
                                                  THIRTEEN REASONS WHY

 

 

 

It is as though someone has drained all color from the world and only black and white remains.  Instead of walking through soft sand, I am wandering through snow.  The floating butterflies are gone, replaced by hungry backyard winter birds.  The lovely outdoor gardens for dinning have disappeared along with all of the fresh fish.  So I guess I need to push play and get on with my life.

 

Perhaps I am simply stalling, knowing that responsibilities and obligations await.    I need to be gentle with my self as I transition back into place.  It takes more courage to be authentic at home than it did in the midst of strangers.  My thoughts need to focus on what feels true and release the interfering thoughts of fear. 

 

My intention is "to let truth as I know it rise within" just as Mark Nepo suggests.  He also advises even when we do not yet understand all that is our truth, we need to let it fill us.     As time passes, segments will come together  forming a complete piece.  Until I have full understanding of what I have experienced during my last adventure, I will remain open for understanding  or to be taught otherwise.   

 

Life can be compared to a dream in that during the first glance, we can form opinions, but as we look more deeply we can find layers of symbols and  hidden wisdom.  Like a dream, life frequently is not at all as it first appeared.  Understanding unfolds with time and patience encouraging us to experience it slowly and fully.  If for whatever reason we do not comprehend the initial experience, like a dream, it will recur until we learn the necessary truth.

 

It comes down to how much time  we want to invest in understanding our own lives.  Do we want the Cliff Notes or the enhanced version?  Are we always going to take the express lanes or will we route our experiences partially upon country roads?  Will we speed dial or slowly enter individual numbers? 

 

We will discover the need to pace our selves through life or life has a way of slowing us down.  All we have is the present moment  so we must expand each moment to the fullest even if just while we are standing still.