I Did Not Know ...

"Crying's always been a way for me to get things out

which are buried deep, deep down."

Ray Charles

I watched her walk across the room with long confident strides. She stopped to talk to others and I could hear her laughing. She stood seemingly poised as her gaze joyfully scanned the room. Dressed as a natural authoritarian, she presented as perfection. I did not know, however, that she was screaming on the inside.

As she visited small groups, it appeared as though she were deeply interested in what others had to say. She spoke with compassion and gentle direction. It was obvious that others loved being in her presence, being seen for whom they were. I did not know, however, that she was balancing on the edge of self-destruction.

At the end of the day, she was the last out the door. It was then the tears began to fall, silently slipping out of her beautiful blue eyes. Once secured in her home, sobbing brought her to her knees. In desperation, she phoned begging for help.  I did not know, however, until I answered the phone.