Life Form Again

“If you live in the dark a long time and the sun comes out, you do not cross into it whistling. There's an initial uprush of relief at first, then-for me, anyway- a profound dislocation. My old assumptions about how the world works are buried, yet my new ones aren't yet operational. There's been a death of sorts, but without a few days in hell, no resurrection is possible.”

Mary Karr
Lit: A Memoir


Jesus proclaimed we could do anything He did and some things we could do better.  It is my personal belief that Jesus the Christ died and rose from the dead, creating a symbol or cycle all humans experience.  I believe we  shed old parts of our self (dying), struggle for rebalance (hell), and then stretch into a more defined sense of self (rebirth).  I must admit it often seems as though hell appears before death more so than prior to the rebalance.

Challenge comes to us and having free will, we have the option to master the opportunity.  In order to do so, we at times need to detach from ego or material attachments creating fear of the future.  It can be hell not knowing what will be remaining once we have given up so much.  Our resistance and denial can also add a few flames to the fire.  The death of the old can be painful, but it also can bring relief.

The period after the death of old patterns can be uncomfortable as we are released of dragging old baggage around.  There may be a sense of freedom, but it can be followed by a loss of connection.  We know what we do not want any more, but we do not know what to welcome in or what will be brought to us next.  There can be great discomfort in this suspension. 

Eventually, the void created by the death of the old, begins to balance with a new definition of the self.  We begin to gather in a greater sense of compassion and acceptance building a new strong foundation.  Our creative expression may exceed, our original gifts may flourish, and our authentic self grows stronger.  Clarity forms with deeper understanding, our hearts and minds become more expansive, and our spiritual connection strengthens.

Easter and/or Spring  is the very reminder of new birth or rebirth.  It is inspiring to watch seeds develop and sprouts struggle up through the earth.  Displayed on healthy stems, flowers display the vibrant colors of life.  And so  Spirit and Divine Energy takes life form again.

 

Kiss of Christ

When, within our souls and psyches

we are made aware of a safe but insistent drum beat,

repeated like butterfly wings in motion,

we sense the message…

that our inner self has begun its search for freedom.

Mary Meeker

The butterfly is a symbol of rebirth and freedom, and we sometimes forget the struggle it went through as a caterpillar prior to its flight.  There always seems to be a struggle that when endured, beauty is revealed.  According to Richard Bach, "What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly."

Standing in front of the church I had once attended with three little kids in tow, I was sharing a quick moment with an 80 year old woman who I viewed as a wise woman or sage.   Out of no where came a butterfly gracefully dancing around us and settling on my face.  My elderly friend immediately responded, "You have been kissed by Christ!"  Surely I had heard Christ referenced to butterflies before, but this was the very first time I felt deep meaning existing within this beautiful creature called a butterfly. 

From that day forward, I have truly loved all butterflies in all of their varying shapes and colors.  I sense their joy in newly found freedom, and admire the grace of their gentle flight.  So gentleness and freedom come first to my mind until this beautiful creature lands on me.  It is then I humbly embrace the "kiss of Christ" and the  reality of rebirth transforms me.

Spirit is Eternal

He who believes in me will live,

even though he dies;

and whoever lives

and believes in me

will never die. 

- John 11:25-26

Over the years, people have asked me who I would most like to meet, dead or alive.  My answer has frequently been Jesus the Christ.  The messages of Jesus were simply put: love your brother, embrace all peoples, heal the sick, love the children and respect the elders.   It does not matter to me where He was born, what time He was born, or if He were one of many masters.  Jesus the Christ impacted my life more so than any religious leader, adult, author or mentor.

Jesus the Christ has been a constant in my life even though my relationship with Him shifted throughout the years.  To me, Christ represents comfort, clear vision, and healing light.  I have loved Him dearly, shouted with anger at Him, and mourned in great sorrow with Him.  He has remained steadfast even when I was most lost and underserving.

I have never understood the labeling of "good friday" as to me it seems most conflicting.  As a child, I attended the stations of the cross as a very moving experience, but still "good friday" seemed most inappropriate. 

I preferred to focus my attention upon His life after death, the resurrection.  I don't know when Jesus the Christ actually died, but I do believe His spirit is eternal.  His truth became my truth ...

"whoever lives and believes in me will never die."

 Jesus of Nazareth as described in Wikipedia: 

"Scholars have offered various portraits of the historical Jesus which at times share a number of overlapping attributes, such as the leaderof an apocalyptic movement, Messiah, a charismatic healer, a sage and philosopher, or a social reformer who preached of the "Kingdom of God" as a means for personal and egalitarian social transformation.  Scholars have correleated the New Testament accounts with non-Christian historical records to arrive at an estimated chronology of Jesus' life." 

None of our Business

Your direction is simple:  to come back to the self you were born to be ~~ the self that resonates with divine goodness, which embodies your unique identity.  The self you would most naturally  and joyfully become had you been born into a world filled with wisdom, harmony, and unconditional love.

Judith Corvin ~ Blackburn

JOURNEY TO WHOLENESS
A Guide to Inner Healing

How wonderful if we had been born with a map so we would know where to begin and where we would end up.  Perhaps an ancient scroll displaying our lineage of where our family has been, what part we play and who will follow us.  Or quite simply, if we were born with directions.

Growing up we hear:  "Sit with your legs together.  Don't pick your nose.  Don't talk back.  You don't know anything.  You didn't clean your plate and there are children starving in Ethiopia."  If we were frightened or scared we may have been labeled emotional, a baby, a chicken, or laughed at.   Like little lambs, we were herded in the direction of the cool kids.  Our role models were more than likely enriched with athletic or educational talent we might never have.  We adjusted our clothes, our feelings, and our behaviors to fit in.  Even our deepest thoughts were most likely unspoken.

Being an elder to any child, we are able to adorn them with encouragement.  We can highlight their differences as strength and not weakness.  We can express freely the beauty we see in them and offer scenarios of the future coinciding with their expertise.  As a listener and not a sensor, we can encourage their heart's desire.  Instead of offering answers we can ask, "What would you most like to do?  How are you feeling about the choices before you?"  We can bless them by offering praises for their uniqueness and the difference they make in the world.

Oh how different youth would be if a gentle spirit patted us on the head saying, "You are wonderful."  Too many of us had a relative slapping us across the face with harsh  criticism and predictions of failure and incompleteness.  How much more exciting life would have been if someone  stated, "I will be so eager to see all of the wonderful things you will choose to do in your life!"  It is so vitally important for us to know at a very young age that we have entered this world perfect just as we are.  It is difficult to feel validated when we are constantly told we are sinners and imperfect in God's eyes.

We spend a life time filling our lives with things we 'should' do as our unique desires become buried under layers of masks.  When wisdom finally touches our souls, we spend a great deal of time undoing everything we have previously done to resurrect our true self. 

What liberation and acceptance there is when we can finally say to the world, "This is who I am and I am loving every minute!"  There is increased worthiness when we can look our selves in a mirror and say, "I love you.  I am so proud of you."  There is a revelation of insight when we embrace who we are (imperfections and all) and peacefully settle into life.  I recall a quote from an eclectic wise woman, Barb Ryan,  "Remember what other people think of us is none of our business." 

The Ability to Accomplish

Whatever form it takes – whether unhealthy behaviors or limiting thought patterns – self-sabotage always diminishes the passion and energy we need to fulfill our dreams. Self-sabotage is the outer manifestation of our inner feelings of shame, anger and unworthiness. At the heart of the matter, we only create as much love, fulfillment, success and joy as we feel worthy of having.

Debbie Ford
Overcoming Self-Sabotage
Daily Om



We tend to be very careful with words used to describe our best friends, colleagues, or mentors definitely down playing any weakness.  We focus on their strengths, kindness, and willingness to share with us.  Conversely, the way we speak of our selves is appalling.  "I am such a klutz.  I am so stupid.  I could never do that.  I am a terrible person.  I am not a good friend."   Unfortunately, our brain is an avid listener recording our damaging comments and adding them to a long list created over the years especially spoken by our family of origin.  Our self-criticism is harshly being played in the background and although we don't always pay attention to it, the words are digging deeper and deeper into our self-worth.


Through conversation, others will tell me of their unfulfilled dreams or lost passion.  They are able to speak of a plan of action and the willingness to sacrifice for their goal; but they have done nothing.  When asked, they will say "Oh I could never do that, it would never work."  So they have destroyed their dream or passion by censoring self-worth before even starting.


I had taken my car to the dealership to its scheduled mileage check.  A gentleman came out and told me I needed new brakes.  I immediately said to myself, "Oh, I ride the brake so hard, I bet I do need them." I told the mechanic just to put it back together as I needed to re-schedule when I had more time.  All of the way I chastised myself for using the brake too much.   My significant other then took my car to his favorite mechanic to have my brakes replaced.  The mechanic called us back saying, we did not need new brakes.  I had already informed my partner how terrible I was with brakes, so he instructed the mechanic to go ahead an replace them rather than waiting another month and having to do it then.  The honest mechanic said, "No.  The brakes are fine they do not need replacing nor are they close to needing replacement."  How could this be?  I sat in my chair in wonderment of how I had totally convinced myself that I was horrible about riding the brake to the point of early replacement.  It finally dawned on me.  My father used to tell me when he was teaching me how to drive that I rode the brake too much.  I  took this comment to heart  and wrote it on my never forget list.   The comment by the way, was made 50 years ago, but I was thoroughly convinced my father was right.


We unfortunately log negative comments that may or may not been true in some small incidence in our life and make the words a verdict limiting our entire life.   We must listen to the negative statements repeated in our head, asking, "Who is that speaking?"  Is it a second grade teacher, a neighborhood bully, a jealous teen girlfriend or the first guy to break our heart?  When we determine the original author of the words, we must ask ourselves of the likelihood of the statement still being true?  We will find we have simply conditioned ourselves to think negatively.


At one time, I was part of a family of athletes.  I was the only non-performing state champion.  I was the family klutz.  For years I referred to myself as a klutz until a friend called me on it.   She reminded me to playing girls basketball, girls field hockey, girls volleyball, member of the swim team, tennis, golf, etc...   I may have been a klutz in comparison to an exceptional athletic family, but I was not a klutz.  I was amazed I had taken a one time spoken negative and draped over my entire life as a blanket of truth.  



We all have created limitations in our life based on isolated statements that have nothing to do with us as a whole person.  We must listen to our self-judgment and remove negative statements that are no longer or maybe never were true.  When we eliminate all of these seemingly unimportant criticisms, we begin to breathe more deeply and freely.  We begin to once again hope, and feel the possibilities of dreams and goals forming once again.

Walking Home by Mary Oliver

I called to the other men that the sky was clearing, and then a moment later I realized that what I had seen was not a rift in the clouds but the white crest of an enormous wave.

Ernest Shackleton


Life is reflected in nature, and strong parallels run between the two.  Clouds with a low ceiling can make us feel oppressed by their heaviness, similar to the emotional stress cloaked around our shoulders and neck.  As the rolling clouds take on a darker form, our problems also seem to multiply.  We might be dreading personal consequences while the clouds begin to threaten and rumble.  Our phone rings breaking our imagined sense of  safety and  bolts of lightening strike out of the sky.  It is good news arriving by phone, and there seems to be a clearing in the sky.  The relaxing sense of relief begins to evacuate our tension.  Just when we allow our selves to believe everything can be worked out, we realize there was not a clearing in the sky, but rather another large wave coming right at us.  In the distance, we hear sirens going off predicting more turbulent times, and we search for shelter where we can discover a way to survive.

Gratefully, life is not always this dramatic, but the point is how we use nature for comparisons:  out of the woods, storm passes, drowning, blown away, dead weight, etc...  Nature is the very form many poets use to express their most inner feelings.  There is an identity that is easily embraced.



WALKING HOME FROM OAK~HEAD
Mary Oliver

There is something
     about the snow - laden sky
        in winter
            in the late afternoon

that brings to the heart elation
     and the lovely meaninglessness
        of time.
            Whenever I get home ---whenever---

somebody loves me there.
     Meanwhile
        I stand in the same dark peace
            as any pine tree,

or wander on slowly
     like the still unhurried wind,
        waiting,
            as for a gift,

for the snow to begin
     which it does
        at first casually,
            then, irrepressibly.

Wherever else I live ---
     in music, in woods,
        in the fires of the heart,
            I abide just as deeply

in this nameless, indivisible place,
     this world,
        which is falling apart now,
            which is white and wild,

which is faithful beyond all our expressions of faith,
     our deepest prayers.
        Don't worry, sooner or later I'll be home.
            Red-cheeked from the roused wind,

I'll stand in the doorway
     stamping my boots and slapping my hands,
        my shoulders
            covered with stars.
       

Keep it Simple

Saint Francis of Assisi:

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console,

To be understood as to understand,

To be loved as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.

Reading ancient transcripts or the writings of current philosophers can get rather overwhelming.  Bit by bit, author by author, we gather information retaining some and dismissing the rest.  Speculation and imagination prompt wanderings into the unknown where we draw to our selves more experiences to peak our curiosity even further.  On and on we go, seeking more and more information to add to our great thinking tanks.   Seminars, vision quests, and time spent in solitude are opportunities for the hopeful to learn even more tools to increase our communication with the Divine.  Much time and thought is given to these richly intertwined spiritual moments.

Quite unexpectedly, we happen to run across a touching prayer such as that of the Italian,  St. Francis (1181/1182 to 1226).  Within his words from centuries ago, we discover requests that if granted,  we would all live as one in a world of peace.

In prayers such as this we are reminded we do not need all of the rhetoric, limitations, and boundaries proposed by organized institutions to discover the heart of the matter.  Displayed in the prayer of  St. Francis of Assisi is a 'To Do List' or daily affirmations.  We do not have to be a theologian or rocket scientist to navigate our way through meaningful life.

I believe it was Jesus the Christ who encouraged us to love one and other.  So very basic and yet so seldom followed.  Release the illusion of separateness that is so dramatic and complex.  Let us just love, and keep it simple!

Perfectly Safe

A daughter may outgrow your lap,

 but she will never outgrow your heart.

Author Unknown

It was a morning of snow covering a layer of ice on the road.  When I pulled out of my drive way, I questioned the safety of my journey.  As  I slowly moved along, I saw flashing police lights at the corner and a few cars were already backed up.  Like the other drivers, I put the car in park and tried to see what had happened ahead.

Traffic was not moving and there seemed to be two cars in collision at the intersection.  It started snowing again and I wondered about turning around in the church parking lot.  I noticed a car pulling into the church lot with the driver door flying open as the car jerked to a stop.  A middle aged woman was running through the deep snow towards the corner.  She did not have a coat on and I could have sworn she had on fuzzy slippers.   It was within seconds that I noticed a teen-aged girl running towards her away from the collision.  She wore a heavy jacket and big boots  with her long hair flowing in the blowing snow.  Her arms were stretched out straight in front of her, reaching for her mother still many yards away. 

I unrolled my car window in time to hear the girl sobbing and screaming for her mother.  I heard the mother yelling, "Are you hurt?"   Tears crept into my eyes as I watched mother and daughter run into each others arms.  They hugged and moved in place like they were never going to let go.  The mother stroked the young girl's hair while the daughter rested her head on her mother's shoulder.

This particular scene symbolized the strength of the mother daughter relationship.  It reflected years of trust and comfort.  I found my self praying for them and for all mothers and daughters with the hope for tender and endearing moments.  It was my wish for all children to have the comfort of knowing the safety found only in the arms of a mother's embrace. 

Changing my mind, I turned around to head home.  I felt my self yearning to hug my own daughter, to keep her safe, and out of harms way.  As this is not  possible as she is grown and living in her own space, I parked in the garage and immediately found my cell phone.   I was thankful when in a few moments  she responded to my text perfectly safe.   

A Good Day After All

“The most incredible architecture
Is the architecture of Self,

which is ever changing, evolving, revolving and has unlimited beauty

and light inside which radiates outwards for everyone to see and feel.

With every in breathe
you are adding to your life
and every out breathe you are releasing what is not contributing to your life.
Every breathe is a re-birth.”

Allan Rufus

The Master's Sacred Knowledge

The sky is an ugly gray.  It is cold out. There is no prediction for sunshine.  It is too late to go back to bed and too early for a nap.  I am completely unmotivated.  I decide to ignore the growing stack of laundry and allow the dust to gather yet another day. 

After running through a self-assessment, I know in my heart  I will accomplish nothing today.  So I decide to create a sacred space to do nothing in.  I start a fire in the fireplace, gather candles, and my favorite old quilt.  I fill a basket with books ... Rumi, Hafiz, Gibran; old dream journals;  Kubler-Ross, Moody, Weiss; Tolle, Braden, Nepo, Cohen;  and my current journal with a new purple ink pen.  I complete this space by adding  bottled water, a fresh carafe of coffee and a stash of snacks.

Once settled, I extend a prayerful invitation for others to come and join me in my newly created sacred space.  I request energy, love, and light accompanied by wisdom and insight.  My heart then opens wider to allow my self to change, evolve, and grow. 

I feel purposeful and content to experience my created day.  I realize we some times need to just stop and carve out a place for our sacred self to be nurtured, revitalized, and safely grow.  My heart is warmed by the gathering in front of  my fireplace ... kindred spirits, angels, and some  I don't know.  I find my self excited as it turns out to be a good day after all.

Dismantle the Wall

Indian teacher Sri Nisargadatta writes, "The mind creates the abyss. The heart crosses over it." Sometimes the abyss of fear and isolation is so wide that we hold back, unable to enter the sanctuary of presence, frozen in our pain. At such times, we need a taste of love from somewhere in order to begin the thaw.    

Tara Brach



Tara Brach is a Clinical Psychologist, Author, Teacher of Buddhist Mindfulness and regularly posts on a blog for The Huffington Post.  In the entry I was reading this morning, Tara Brach was sharing a story about a friend who was faced with illness and not surprisingly scared.  This story reflected how we throw up walls around us when we are frightened which prevents us from receiving what we need ... love.  She encourages us not to go into isolation but to reach out and asked to be loved.  To be loved is our basic need.

I have been a master brick layer all of my life.  I can create a solid brick wall within a blink of the eye.  My walls can be easily removed once I feel safe, but generally remain in place for lengths of time.   I can openly share this now as I have learned to face fear an not hide.  I am still tempted to demonstrate my brick laying skills, but I now force my self to stand still in the moment facing fear.  Fear is nothing but an illusion.  What happens to be waiting for us behind the illusion of fear is not always good, but it is better than the emotional damage hiding behind a wall.

Standing in the present moment requires courage as so does asking to be loved.   Some where along life's path I assumed that if you were worth it, people would tell you of their love and one never asked for love.  To ask for love would be totally humiliating. 

Sometimes in spite of our isolation, a true friend sees through our mask and reaches out to us, to save us from our limiting behaviors.  At first we may be shocked a person saw through our thick wall of protection, and then we collapse with relief to be loved after all.  

It takes more energy to be a master of disguise obsessed with building an invisible wall, than it does to stand still in the present moment.  It takes less energy to face our fears.  With great courage, we can extend our hand through fear and discover the warm hand of a friend just waiting for us.  We don't have to be alone to face the challenges in our lives.

These things help me:
~ be aware that a wall is being put up
~ notice the isolation
~ understand self-sabotage
~ remember being worthy
~ reach out to a trusted friend
~ request hugs
~ remember this is not unique nor healthy behavior
~ it is a basic human need to be loved

It is important to remember that action is the key.  Those surrounding us may or may not be aware of challenges we try to hide.  We must reach out.  Sometimes that is all we can do, just reach out.  Maybe we do not have the courage to disclose the story, but the act of reaching out will be comforting in itself.  When we gain the confidence to share our story, we then will have a person to explore some solutions.  Through trusted conversations, we can discover healthy
ways to move forward. 

Quick fixes are not the answer.  Be patient with life and we must be gentle with our self.  We can sit in the sun and allow our self to thaw.   We can discover a patron saint, a favortie poet, or a daily inspiration to help us on our way. (May I suggest Allan Cohen and Mark Nepo)  Brick by brick remove the wall.  If this seems impossible, than climb over it ... just get to the other side!

For whatever reason if we do not feel we have any person physically capable of being present to witness our lives, seek out a minister, a mentor, or guidance through meditation.  There are numerous energy workers or even a massage can stimulate our body, mind, and soul.  In prayer, we are always heard even if we do not receive immediate results.  Journal or write letters.   We need to make the choice to begin.  Reach out!

Habit Forming

Criteria of Emotional Maturity

*  The ability to deal constructively with reality

*  The capacity to adapt to change

*The capacity to find more satisfaction

in giving than receiving

*The capacity to love

William C. Menninger, MD

Body language has always intrigued me while observing others.   It is interesting to listen and observe a person saying, "I am good.  Really good."  All the while, the speaker is shaking his or her head no from side to side conflicting with the yes answer.  There is almost comic relief when a person says, "I am open to anything you have to say."  He then crosses his arms in a very defensive position. 

One time I read a depressed person walks with his or her head down, looking at the sidewalk or feet.  A person bracing for what awaits, walks hunched over and into an imaginary wind.  The optimistic person walks looking up into the sky seeking sunshine, birds, clouds, and happiness.

Positive and negative thinking is linked directly to positive and negative behavior.   We choose our thinking and behaviors.  Both are habit forming. 

Positive Thinkers                                                      Negative Thinkers

Connected to creative power                                   Feeling scattered

Be constructive                                                         Heavy criticism

Look for the good                                                     Expect the worst

Choose how  to feel                                                  Lack of emotional control

Do the best in every situation                                 Muddle through unprepared

Eat mindfully and healthy                                        Poor diet  lowered immune system

Happy and optimistic                                               Anxiety, depression, pessimistic

It is easy to see that negative thinking can be bad for our body, mind, and soul.  When we respond by being hesitant and resistant we are not open or flexible to change.  If we do not change, we remain stuck in negative thinking and negative behaviors follow.

A positive attitude does not spare any one from challenge or sorrow.  We all experience both difficult and precious times.  The optimist allows the memories of precious time to sustain and to give courage when experiencing life's disappointments.  An optimist is more likely to step through fear and face the known or unknown consequences.

It is important to use self-talk or affirmations to set the tone of our day.  'Today will be a good day.'  'Today I will embrace all people with patience.'  When we know we are facing a difficult morning we can acknowledge it but also see past it.  'This morning is going to be challenging, but I will get to the other side where calm awaits me.'   

Life is consistently teaching us lessons and is not out to destroy us.  When we endeavor to be a positive and  receptive student, things will still unfold, unravel, and undo, but if we can maintain an open attitude we are more able to  withstand hardships and succeed. 

Spring's Arrival

“Winter is the time for comfort,

 for good food and warmth,

for the touch of a friendly hand and

for a talk beside the fire:

it is the time for home.”

Edith Sitwell

My astrological sign indicates how important home is to me.  My home surrounds me with my favorite collections of things gathered from all over.  Most items are insignificant to others, but I can recall their origins and why they meant something special to me.  I guess I could say the same about the friends I have gathered into my home.  Each friend being uniquely their own, but we all have a vibrant thread connecting us in some invisible way.

Winter has its share of beauty, but I find it to be so cold and dull.  I don't mind hibernating so much, it is the absence of brilliant colors, sunshine and warmth.  The winter is drab and my imagination feels stunted in return.  I have been told that today is the first day of spring, but clearly some one has neglected to pass the word along to those who control.

Most people watch television, but my personal favorite winter activity is watching a fire in the fireplace.  I can stare into a fire for hours on end being magically led to what has passed, the possibilities of dreams for the future, and what might need special attention in the present.   It is as though the fire dances around stirring stories within me.  Some stories are just sad memories, others are filled with laughter, and some are nothing but wonderment.

Winter hibernating doesn't take much effort on my part.  If I have my favorite quilt, I can cuddle up most anywhere and read or write for hours on end.  I have no need to communicate with anyone and I  seem to lack any desire to be out in the cold.   Actions always have consequences which in my case means isolation.  On some level I miss my circle of friends who support me so very well, and yet I find my self willing to sink deeper into the folds and creases of my soul.

The hermit side of my self seems to be gaining momentum away  from the extroverted part of me.  I willingly enter the deep caverns of my cave with candles glowing and a warm fire waiting.  Endless silent moments are like little gifts dropped lovingly upon me.  I love the silence and it intensifies the cloak of darkness draping over me. 

It is here in this darkness my light will reflect what is remaining for me to do.  It will radiate a brightness for me to view what loiters still that I won't allow my self to see.   As I shred pieces of my past,  into the fire they go.  Now kindled by the discarded trash, the fire grows, lifting the darkness and leaving a healing glow.

Hibernating in a cave being  content as a hermit, creates a social awkwardness when others are anticipating the extroverted side of my self.  The clashing of my 'selves' creates an anxiety that grows too loudly in my ears.  I discover my self retreating back into my winter cave, knowing I will welcome new growth in the spring.  When it actually arrives!

Stillness Can Be A Gift

                             "Seek out a tree and let it teach you stillness."

                                                    Eckhart Tolle

(Findhorn Retreat: Stillness Amidst The World)

The art of being still accompanies practices like yoga, meditation, contemplation and simple observation.  The greatest skill is learning to quiet the mind.  Mind chatter, frequently referred to as monkey chatter, can and will distort most efforts of mind solitude.  Sometimes it is more difficult to quiet the mind in seclusion than simply 'zoning' out in the midst of life.

There is a technique which assists being still in the moment with another person.  Clear the mind of thoughts, and listen to what the other person is saying.  It helps to imagine their words filling a blank space above the head like one sees in cartoons.  Let the white cloud  fill up with the person's words.  Look at them just as they are, without bringing personal reaction to mind.  By keeping our personal beliefs or reactions to our self and opening our mind in solitude to receive the words of another, can really be challenging and insightful.

This particular practice brings a better understanding of others.  When we are totally still, we are more objective with the words of another.  It is easier to understand a different perspective without agreeing or disagreeing.  We are simply still in the moment, allowing the other person to be heard without interruption or interpretation.  Our emotions do not become conflicted or enmeshed and the opportunity for growth is fertile.

Some times our feedback is unnecessary.  A person may be seeking the opportunity to creatively express themselves without fear of judgment or challenge.  If we encourage them to continue speaking without our own personal comments, the experience can be liberating.  Again, we can agree to disagree, but it is not even necessary to express that option.  Just be still and this will be a gift ... to be a quiet witness in the space of another.

The Traveler

The spiritual path ~ is simply the journey of living our lives.

Everyone is on a spiritual path,

most people just don't know it.

Marianne Williamson

If the spiritual path were in one straight line where the traveler could have clear vision, and confidence on the path, the journey would be so much easier.  This is not the way, however.  The spiritual path bends and curves, has barriers to be overcome, detours available for free choice, stretches through rain, fog, sleet, snow, and very high winds.  Some days the sun is shining while other days darkness covers the path.  It is not easy nor was it meant to be.  The spiritual path requires patience, awareness, determination, courage and guidance from various sources.  The goal is to find all parts of the self and to become one with all there is.  All paths lead to Divine Spirit.

Although each spiritual path differs, the traveler meets a variety of teachers along the way, learning important lessons.  Some teachers stay with us for awhile and yet others seem coincidental just in passing.  Most of the journey is spent alone, discovering the traveler's purpose, strengths, gifts and talents.

Another portion of the spiritual path is designated for the traveler to not only be a student of life, but also at times the teacher.  As the teacher, experienced wisdom can be passed along to others upon the path.  It is an opportunity for the traveler to be in service to fellow travelers.

When the traveler wanders off the path, connections can be made with exceptional people who do not appear to be traveling at all.  These non-travelers do not appear to be following any sort of path and yet they are spiritually inspiring almost unknowingly.  They may not even refer to themselves as even being spiritual, but we find them to be respectful and honorable.

The spiritual path is a journey of a life time.  It is not meant to be a super speed way, as it is mostly a solitude road.  At times a section of the path may seem familiar as though it has been previously traveled, but the boulder once struggled with is now only a rock.  Tools are gathered along the way in hopes the traveler can move through troublesome areas more gracefully.  At times, it is easy to forget about the tools, and the traveler mounts the boulder again.

A traveler may also be a seeker or one who wanders.  Just because the traveler may wander, it does not mean the traveler is lost.  There are various foot paths available and although these less tread paths are not direct routes, they frequently provide needed rest or solitude or greater challenge. 

We are all travelers in one way or another and all paths lead to the Divine. 

Joy in Bubbles

A smile starts on the lips.

A grin spreads to the eyes.

A chuckle comes from the belly;

But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul.

Carolyn Birmingham

Over time, I have become more selective with those I entrust.  Feeling more comfortable  with closer friends, I guess I let my guard down.  I have always had the tendency to see the spiritual side of people rather than the human side.  Unfortunately, when some one behaves very much in human form, I find my self disappointed. So I have an unrealistic expectation, even though I am compassionate and understanding.  I forgive easily, but I tend to feel wounded or betrayed when I have been personally disappointed. 

Pure gossip rounded a bend and unexpectedly splattered in my face.  I felt my self escalating through initial embarrassment, humiliation, and a wounded spirit.  It was not so much about what exactly was said, but rather the reflection of the person not understanding me at all.  We can agree to disagree, but it is rather disturbing to then be made fun of for the differences.  I some how expected extended respect and honor for each other.

I took off on a walk hoping the wind would blow away my sinking self-worth.  I lectured my self on not letting what others have to say about me be more important than what I know to be true.  I cautioned my self to let it go and be in the moment.  Release the drama and move along.

As I turned the corner, bubbles burst upon my face.  Then another rush of shinning bubbles burst into my hair.  I immediately felt joy as bubbles are one of my most favorite things!  I glanced up on the porch and there was a man laughing at me.  He had set up a bubble machine just to see peoples reactions.  He told me he just felt like bringing a little laughter into his life, to not take life so seriously.  What a blessing this man was to me.  I felt as though he were an angel deliberately set on my path to gently coax me out of my pity party.

After chatting with this delightful stranger, I continued on my walk feeling extremely lighter and more buoyant.  It felt good to smile, to grin and even to chuckle;  but the laughter from my soul helped to transform the negative to a positive.  I felt happy again created by the simple act of offering bubbles.

Star Fish: Healing and Regeneration

“Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said,  "It made a difference for that one!"

Loren Eiseley

The Starfish has been used to represent the Virgin Mary (Stella Maris which means Star of the Sea) who creates safe travel over troubled waters and is also seen as an emblem of salvation during trying times. The Starfish can also be seen as a celestial symbol and as such, represents infinite divine love. In addition to love, the Starfish also holds characteristics such as guidance, vigilance, inspiration, brilliance and intuition. To see a starfish in your dream, suggests a period of healing and regeneration. Alternatively, it may indicate that you have many options to weigh and decisions to make.

There are many symbols surrounding us every day.  If we would take the time to decipher the meaning of such a symbol we would discover extended reflections about our lives.  Learning about symbols would bring deeper meaning into every day.  It is a matter of investment ... in our selves.

Night Circus

I thought a circus environment would be an interesting venue to explore, where you didn't just have one tent with three rings and a show going on but where you could explore different things in different tents.

Erin Morgenstern
NIGHT CIRCUS


While at my daughter's home, she encouraged me to read a book she had just finished reading.  The book is entitled, "NIGHT CIRCUS" written by Erin Morgenstern.  It is not the type of book I would choose for my self, but I enjoyed it immensely.  It was relaxing to escape into the fantasy of a Night Circus, to use my own imagination to broaden the author's intention, and to experience a life more like a dream. 

Night Circus is not filled with clowns, animals and carnival rides.  The story focuses more on individual characters and how they expand their gifts and talents.  The author engages the young and the old into an arena of possibility where imagination allows escape from every day reality.  The fantasy triggers questions of whether or not things like this story could really exist.

Although this is a fun read, there are a few characters showing a dark side, ulterior motives, and ability to manipulate others.  So there are parallels comparable to reality.  We must stay alert, dedicated to our purpose, open to creativity, and be aware of others motivations. 

So if you are looking for an interesting escape with great character development, laced with illusions and memorable characters, Night Circus will be of interest to you!

 

Subtle Change

“It takes courage...to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.”

Marianne Williamson, Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"



In the month of December of 2012 I prepared for the ending of another year.  Parts of my self began to shift and  although observant, I was not feeling as though I knew where this slide was taking me.  The swift journey down the slope dumped me into January of 2013 with subtle changes short of my grasp. 

I had been sick for two weeks, cleansing body, mind and soul, leaving me exhausted and apprehensive of what was waiting in store.  As my mind had been de-cluttered, I was aware of open space waiting for a new level of understanding or reviews of past challenges.  Nothing appeared.  It felt as though I were wearing a cap of nothingness upon my head with no purpose at all.

I am a person who collects and gathers.  I don't get everything in one lump sum, I add a little bit at a time.  Even so, the emptiness in my mind unnerves me.    It is as though I have become barren without sadness, choice or comprehension.  What is this to mean?

Growing more and more private, I pry my heart open ready to receive what is yet to come.  I remain still, anticipating subtle changes.  Love, energy, and light continue to be my domain even though nothing else seems to remain the same.

The Veil

God cannot leave us.

It is just that our soul is so vast,

we do not always feel His lips

upon the veil.

St. Catherine of Siena

(1347 ~ 1380)

In spiritual discussions, insights and mystical moments are frequently compared to a veil being lifted.    The veil being lifted refers to the sudden ability to see or understand something within a blink of an eye. It is so fleeting, the experience cannot be put into words or be appropriately reflected.  

This uncharted spiritual experience could also be compared to a drapery being pulled aside for a clear view and then replaced back into position, blocking what one had just seen.  It happens so quickly one wonders if they have experienced it at all.

It is as though the human being experiences a spiritual moment implanting a 'knowing' into our memory, but this 'knowing' is not accompanied by the spiritual language to explain such an experience.   Deep within, we have just witnessed an explanation of an unknown, but have been left with human limitations.  This 'knowing' leaves us with a feeling of affirmation and validation increasing our faith and dedication without a tangible explanation.

Spiritual "ah-ha" moments expand our understanding and knowledge, but leave us unable to appropriately relate them to others.  If not written down to the best of our abiltiy, the exceptional experience can be quickly forgotten as though it had never happened at all.

We need to be aware to notice the veil.  Our hearts must be open to see through the parted veil.  When we allow for stillness, our body, mind, and spirit are deeply connected and we are humbly embraced by all that is ...

To Journey with Dreams

I believe in everything until it's disproved.  So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons.  It all exists, even if it's in your mind.  Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?   John Lennon

Scientific studies, psychological literature, and sage philosophers reflect the importance of dreaming and substantiate dreams.  We dream in color, images or symbols reflecting emotions, and frequently personal messages can be detected.  In a sense, dreaming can be a form of communication.  This includes pleasant dreams as well as nightmares.

As I was driving home from Nashville, Tennessee,  I decided to listen to a series of spiritual tapes (yes, they are old)  to help pass the time as I found my self to be bored.  I had played these tapes many times, but it had been years and I was curious as to how much I had forgotten or embraced. 

After considerable winding and rewinding, I managed to insert one of the tapes correctly.  The content was discussing how God uses the Holy Spirit to speak through us.  The presenter was using an example of a child dreaming, actually having a nightmare.  Assuming the audience was on the same wave length, he describes entering the child's room and gently assuring the child he or she is safe.  He firmly stated that "we" were not interested in the dream content as it was not important.  "We" did not ask the child what the nightmare contained,  as our job was to bring comfort from the Holy Spirit through our voice.  After a few moments of assurance, the child is told to return to sleep.

Confined and alone in my car, I found my self yelling, "Are you kidding me?"  My hands  white knuckled on the steering wheel, and my foot accelerating in reaction to my anger,  I found my self speeding down the interstate.  Yes, of course, comfort the child with God and Holy Spirit flowing through words, but if there is no discussion of the dream, one will simply repress what was already repressed, allowing the nightmare to resurface again.

As I continued my drive home in silence, I recalled many times each of my four children experienced dreams.  They reported mystical dreams or silly adventures or nightmares.  I would remain present with them, listening and allowing them to talk the content out.  Comfort is vitally important but it is not the only necessity in dream resolution.

I think of dreams as feed back.  If I am suppressing fear, chances are good I may have a nightmare.  If I am struggling with creative output, I may have a dream containing an excellent format I had not yet thought of.  If I am conflicted with a relationship, I may dream a mini drama reflecting different options I had not considered or see my self portrayed in a not so pretty light.

Dreams are a form of communication, telling us, showing us, and helping us to navigate in life just a little bit better.  They help us to see things how they could be or maybe how things really are.  There are symbols, themes and insights buried within the scenario just waiting to be discovered and applied.

If you are the least bit curious, please discover the book:  THE MYSTICAL MAGICAL MARVELOUS WORLD of DREAMS, written by Wilda B. Tanner.  It truly is the only book a person might need.  The first part explains how dreams work, what they might mean, and developing the practice of remembering or recording dreams.   Another section discusses what animals, buildings, clothing, backgrounds, locations, actions, parts of the body, and actions have to do with dreams.  The remainder of the book is a dream dictionary.  I first purchased this book in 1988 and truly believe it is one of the best available.  It is very user friendly, respected, and thorough.

Need to get away?  Grab this book and a journal and you will be blown away!!

Building Futures



Have you seen your future lately...?
Oh, there it is!
Spinning in the palm of your hand. 

The Universe

www.tut.com

Can we really see our future in our hands?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Our hands, however, play an enormous part in our future.  We can dream of our future, but if we do not take action with our hands, our future may never become a reality.

Our future doesn't just happen willy nilly.  The future takes planning and preparation even though the end result may be something entirely different from what we planned.  We can still be spontaneous and open to possibilities but we must have at least a sketchy idea or vision.

A future is much like a building.  It needs a strong foundation and lots of layers of bricks.  Then windows must be added to let the light in and doorways for communing with others.  A kitchen for gathering and nurturing the soul. Add a well lighted stairway for ascending into better ideas and concepts.  A strong roof must be added to protect from bad storms, strong winds, and whatever else may fall.  Yes, I suppose it is the story of the Three Little Pigs all over again!

We hold our dreams or futures in the palms of our hands, but the work must begin in the now, in the present.  We work towards the future, not waiting for a miracle to plop down our futures and dreams manifested.  We have work to do.  Don't wait for the future to arrive.  Start building pieces of the future today and every day. 

Human Beings Learning to Evolve

Life Was like a prism;

what you saw depended on

how you turned the glass.

Jonathan Kellerman

A COLD HEART

In the passing years, I have learned to look at life a little differently.  There was a time when I would be moved to tears by headlines or feel threatened by random acts of violence spread across televisions.  My emotions would run rampant with thoughts of how to fix the world in spite of the fear in my belly.

Then somewhere along the way, I realized people only changed when they wanted to change and personally, I could do very little.  Reality preached I was the  only person I could change.  Fighting ego's shouts of selfishness, I focused on my own behaviors and how they were mirrored in the world around me.  I detached from the expectations of the outside world, and began a journey within to meet the true essence, my soul.

Once we learn to love and accept our selves, (flaws, imperfections and weaknesses)   we begin building a self-value or a confidence in what we are truly capable of doing ... creatively, constructively, and passionately.  So when we turn the prism and begin to see life a little differently, we are no longer entrenched in fear, violence, and helplessness.  We find our selves with hope and positive inspiration impacting those around us.

When we are running on positive energy, others around us are attracted to this vibration.  It is not heavy nor restrictive.  It is light and vibrant pulling us into positive motion.

It somewhat seems that peace begins within us and we can only create that through self-exploration and discovery.  Will world peace come one man/woman at a time? If so, we must be patient while human beings learn to evolve.

Time Being Spent in Nashville, Tennessee

“It’s funny how certain cities get under your skin. I’ve been around, but there’s something captivating about Nashville, Tennessee – a ‘crazy town’, as locals call it, bursting with culture, history and Southern charm (the kind of charm that prompts locals – easily the friendliest people I’ve ever encountered.”

-Brisbane News




A few days ago, I made the 6 hour journey to Nashville, Tennessee.  It is a beautiful drive and a drive I have been taking for over 10 years.  The solitude in my car suits me as I soak up all of  nature,  watching the landscape change the farther south I travel.  From north to south, all of the little towns dotting the interstates have become familiar to me.  I know exactly which exits offer what and where the gas is cheapest. 

Navigation in Nashville is rather easy once one gets the lay of the land.  I can travel most anywhere I want, and believe me, there are plenty of things to do and see.  Scarlett Begonia is my favorite shop, Centennial Park hosting endless art festivals, Nashville Zoo, Nashville Library Downtown, Hillsboro Village, Ann Padgett's Book Store, Music City, Green Hills and Cool Springs Malls, Lake Radner, beautiful parks, and delicious eateries.

My most favorite place in all of Nashville, however, is my daughter's home.  It doesn't matter which season I visit, the highlight will be my time with her.  I feel very nurtured in her space which also houses Hannah the wonder Golden Retriever and Trudy the temperamental Tuxedo Cat.  We can be content just 'being' with each other either reading or sharing in front of her fireplace or out on the covered patio.  We always manage to take plenty of walks and to visit with her friends both new and old.

This precious time between mother and daughter always moves too swiftly.  We are both good listeners so our shared stories, accented with laughter, tears, and lessons, continue to bind us tightly together.   Being with her lifts my spirit and soul.  She reminds me of who I am, what all I have accomplished, and new ways to share my gifts and talents with others.  She awakens my sleeping positive attributes and hushes my critical ego.  By the time I leave, I will be cocooned in an emotional gauze of hugs and kisses, fully prepared to once again face the world.

Symbols are vitally important to me.  My daughter symbolizes life itself with her compassion, endurance, courage, intelligence, and service.  Her inner beauty matches her physical appearance and her worst enemy is her critical ego. 

Oh, if we could only see our selves as Divine Spirit intended ... focusing on our positives, using our gifts and talents with equal love for others as well as for our selves!