Closest Ally

“A daughter is a mother's gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self. And mothers are their daughters' role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships.”

Victoria Secunda



Today is my daughter's birthday.  She was born on Mother's Day and has been an everlasting gift of joy, hope, and courage.    She was welcomed into the world by numerous family members, but especially embraced by her three brothers.  Her brothers educated her well in holding her own against the male gender.  They carried her everywhere when she was young and protected her ferociously when older.  They foolishly encouraged her to talk and she has since  mastered articulation to a science.

After three boys, I was not as certain as to how a girl child was to be raised.  Then it became so obvious ... lead with my heart.  My daughter and I learned together, faced challenges, and accepted each other.  We spent endless hours quietly reading, going for lengthy walks and funny bike rides.  We could sit for hours on a porch swing discussing everything or nothing.  Just to be present with each other has been nurturing and a blessing.

Together we have journeyed to Wisconsin, New Jersey, Wichita, Dallas, San Diego, Seattle, San Fransisco, and New York.  As I age, I can feel our relationship shifting.  It is as though the tables are turning as she begins to gently assist me.  She has been my nurturer, safe haven, and support.  We have both given and received, knowing that our hearts will be linked forever.

My daughter's intelligence, drive, and persistence have awarded her exceptional skills to help families, children and individuals in addition to being a professor.  In her own way, she helps to heal the next generation while strengthening the bonds of feminine freedom. 

 

Perfectly Safe

A daughter may outgrow your lap,

 but she will never outgrow your heart.

Author Unknown

It was a morning of snow covering a layer of ice on the road.  When I pulled out of my drive way, I questioned the safety of my journey.  As  I slowly moved along, I saw flashing police lights at the corner and a few cars were already backed up.  Like the other drivers, I put the car in park and tried to see what had happened ahead.

Traffic was not moving and there seemed to be two cars in collision at the intersection.  It started snowing again and I wondered about turning around in the church parking lot.  I noticed a car pulling into the church lot with the driver door flying open as the car jerked to a stop.  A middle aged woman was running through the deep snow towards the corner.  She did not have a coat on and I could have sworn she had on fuzzy slippers.   It was within seconds that I noticed a teen-aged girl running towards her away from the collision.  She wore a heavy jacket and big boots  with her long hair flowing in the blowing snow.  Her arms were stretched out straight in front of her, reaching for her mother still many yards away. 

I unrolled my car window in time to hear the girl sobbing and screaming for her mother.  I heard the mother yelling, "Are you hurt?"   Tears crept into my eyes as I watched mother and daughter run into each others arms.  They hugged and moved in place like they were never going to let go.  The mother stroked the young girl's hair while the daughter rested her head on her mother's shoulder.

This particular scene symbolized the strength of the mother daughter relationship.  It reflected years of trust and comfort.  I found my self praying for them and for all mothers and daughters with the hope for tender and endearing moments.  It was my wish for all children to have the comfort of knowing the safety found only in the arms of a mother's embrace. 

Changing my mind, I turned around to head home.  I felt my self yearning to hug my own daughter, to keep her safe, and out of harms way.  As this is not  possible as she is grown and living in her own space, I parked in the garage and immediately found my cell phone.   I was thankful when in a few moments  she responded to my text perfectly safe.