“It takes courage...to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.”
Marianne Williamson, Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"
In the month of December of 2012 I prepared for the ending of another year. Parts of my self began to shift and although observant, I was not feeling as though I knew where this slide was taking me. The swift journey down the slope dumped me into January of 2013 with subtle changes short of my grasp.
I had been sick for two weeks, cleansing body, mind and soul, leaving me exhausted and apprehensive of what was waiting in store. As my mind had been de-cluttered, I was aware of open space waiting for a new level of understanding or reviews of past challenges. Nothing appeared. It felt as though I were wearing a cap of nothingness upon my head with no purpose at all.
I am a person who collects and gathers. I don't get everything in one lump sum, I add a little bit at a time. Even so, the emptiness in my mind unnerves me. It is as though I have become barren without sadness, choice or comprehension. What is this to mean?
Growing more and more private, I pry my heart open ready to receive what is yet to come. I remain still, anticipating subtle changes. Love, energy, and light continue to be my domain even though nothing else seems to remain the same.
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