None of our Business

Your direction is simple:  to come back to the self you were born to be ~~ the self that resonates with divine goodness, which embodies your unique identity.  The self you would most naturally  and joyfully become had you been born into a world filled with wisdom, harmony, and unconditional love.

Judith Corvin ~ Blackburn

JOURNEY TO WHOLENESS
A Guide to Inner Healing

How wonderful if we had been born with a map so we would know where to begin and where we would end up.  Perhaps an ancient scroll displaying our lineage of where our family has been, what part we play and who will follow us.  Or quite simply, if we were born with directions.

Growing up we hear:  "Sit with your legs together.  Don't pick your nose.  Don't talk back.  You don't know anything.  You didn't clean your plate and there are children starving in Ethiopia."  If we were frightened or scared we may have been labeled emotional, a baby, a chicken, or laughed at.   Like little lambs, we were herded in the direction of the cool kids.  Our role models were more than likely enriched with athletic or educational talent we might never have.  We adjusted our clothes, our feelings, and our behaviors to fit in.  Even our deepest thoughts were most likely unspoken.

Being an elder to any child, we are able to adorn them with encouragement.  We can highlight their differences as strength and not weakness.  We can express freely the beauty we see in them and offer scenarios of the future coinciding with their expertise.  As a listener and not a sensor, we can encourage their heart's desire.  Instead of offering answers we can ask, "What would you most like to do?  How are you feeling about the choices before you?"  We can bless them by offering praises for their uniqueness and the difference they make in the world.

Oh how different youth would be if a gentle spirit patted us on the head saying, "You are wonderful."  Too many of us had a relative slapping us across the face with harsh  criticism and predictions of failure and incompleteness.  How much more exciting life would have been if someone  stated, "I will be so eager to see all of the wonderful things you will choose to do in your life!"  It is so vitally important for us to know at a very young age that we have entered this world perfect just as we are.  It is difficult to feel validated when we are constantly told we are sinners and imperfect in God's eyes.

We spend a life time filling our lives with things we 'should' do as our unique desires become buried under layers of masks.  When wisdom finally touches our souls, we spend a great deal of time undoing everything we have previously done to resurrect our true self. 

What liberation and acceptance there is when we can finally say to the world, "This is who I am and I am loving every minute!"  There is increased worthiness when we can look our selves in a mirror and say, "I love you.  I am so proud of you."  There is a revelation of insight when we embrace who we are (imperfections and all) and peacefully settle into life.  I recall a quote from an eclectic wise woman, Barb Ryan,  "Remember what other people think of us is none of our business." 

Returning Home

 

 

 

 

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.” 

 

Edith Sitwell

 

 

 

Staying in Key West for over a month has been a wonderful blessing.  I am most grateful and thankful to be able to have enjoyed this opportunity especially with Russ.  We have visited an old cemetery,  historical fort, gardens and homes, the gulf, the ocean, Red Barn Theater, Waterfront Theater, intimate garden concert, art show, art festival,  shrimp boats, wharf, cruise ships, and a spectacular evening celebrating Russ's birthday on an island arriving by ferry.  We have haunted most every neighborhood restaurant eating in beautiful gardens.  We have walked extensively every morning, afternoon, and evening.  I am stuffed with fresh fish, lobster and shrimp to say nothing of the homemade ice cream at Flamingo Crossing.  My skin is so soft and once again has some color.  It has been a joy to spend every day out doors surrounding by the abundance of richly colored nature, and the dipping pool in the back yard.

 

 

It is time to go home, however, and I must admit I am prepared.  I am anxious to return to my own surroundings where I can find familiar books, writings, and favorite coffee cup.  I will get the fireplace started and apologize to my plants.  I will reach out to my favorite coffee 'sister' as well as my women's group and writers group.  I have missed all of these tender hearts as they so generously support and encourage me.

 

 

With loads of laundry piled high, I will put away my summer linen and return to my closet to rediscover my winter garbs.  From flip flops to boots, from linen tops and shorts to sweaters and leggings.  I will nest in front of the warm fire in my favorite sweats and baggy thermal shirt.

 

 

I will find time to journal about the holes I have found in my spiritual wardrobe, and begin requests for additional help in mending my ways.  It is curious to me when we grow spiritually stronger, it allows us to see more areas of personal repair. My father used to use an old Swedish saying, "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get!"

 

 

Fare thee wells will be extended to our friends and paradise will be imprinted upon my memories.   I will stay present in the moment, letting go of this abundance, making room for what will next unfold.  As one adventure ends, a new journey begins.

 



You Do Have To Begin!

"It's impossible" said pride.

"It's risky" said experience.

"It's pointless" said reason.

"Give it a try" whispered the heart!

Anonymous

We invest time and money into education, careers, homes, cars,

children and families, but how much do we invest in our own personal enhancement?  We race to meet the needs of others and yet stumble on our own road towards self-worth.

It's impossible:  I don't have time; the family have to come first; my schedule doesn't allow space; I don't know where to go; I don't know how to do it.

It's Risky:  I might fail; I am embarrassed in front of others; someone might find out; it might change me.

It's Pointless:  I have been this way for so long;  It is too late to begin; I have tried before and cannot do it;  No one will understand;  My family will just make fun of me!

Give it a try:  If this were for a loved one, you would make the time;  Pinpoint your heart's desire and let 'google' do the rest; Allow your self to be a beginner again; If it doesn't work out, you can explore another option; Don't let what others think be more important than what you think;  Change can be enormously positive;  It is never too late to change;  Keep your choice a private adventure until you feel comfortable with disclosure.

Anytime is a perfect time to begin.  How much money do you have to have before you invest in your self?  You are worthy of enhancing even the smallest part of your life.  You don't have to be a professional musician to take lessons.  You don't have to be a ballerina to take ballet or even tap dance.  You don't have to be an established artist to take a class.  You don't have to be a florist to arrange flowers.  You don't have to be published in order to write.  You don't have to be an Olympian to swim.  You don't have to be a yogi to learn yoga. 





But you do have to begin!





Holding Light

We are each gifted in a unique and important way.

It is our privilege and our adventure

to discover our own special light.

Evelyn Dunbar

It is my desire to not only work in the light but to be light itself.  As an energy worker, I work with light on a daily basis.  For me, light is filled with Divine Spirit and energy.  We are all made of energy so working with light is enhancing energy that already exists.

I believe in Oneness, we are all one in the same.  What I do to you, impacts my self.  What you extend to me, returns to you. I strive to respect energy found in all things living or not.  If you do not understand this theory, pick up a rock that has been sitting in the sun.  Feel the warmth and the energy spread into the palm of your hand.  The rock holds energy.  Sit in the presence of a full moon and as you gaze upon it, you will feel the moon's energy.

I hold light in my body in a meditative state.  I send light to other people, bathe them in light, and hold them in light.  Any light I send out into the world helps to create more light.  Yes, there is darkness, but light can be brought into the darkness.  

I try to be a person who walks around discovering the light in others.  We all have different energy levels and frequencies.  To experience energy in others can be very powerful.  I easily sense both positive and negative energies.  It is quite similar to knowing if someone is in a good mood or bad mood ... you sense it.  Our energy puts out a vibration that impacts everything surrounding us. 

Light or energy is a form of Spirit and extending it non-verbally to others can be compared to offering a blessing, like "Peace be with you".   I am not going to be found wandering around the grocery store muttering blessings to others, but I certainly will be sending light silently to most everyone I encounter. 

This is how I experience light, but how do you experience it?  Is it a goodness you express through acts of kindness?  Does your light take the form of prayer?  Maybe you offer services that brings light into others lives.  But you do have a light.  Some may call it 'the light of Christ' or 'a spark of the Divine' or 'a golden heart'.  Have you discovered your own personal light?

Isn't it time that you did?

Moving Forward

He who knows others is learned;

He who knows himself is wise.

~Lao-tzu

Tao te Ching

The time is quickly approaching for me to travel on a spiritual quest to North Carolina.  Last year my intention was to 'align my stars' while safely crossing the bridge to the other side.  The time spent traveling to and from this women's retreat was simply magical.  Being in the presence of heightened energy allowed one to travel in time or simply stand still.  I believe I experienced both.

"Why, if I had such a deep experience of self-discovery last year, am I feeling resistance to attend this year," is my on going question.  I am faced with my own rigid behaviors and false limitations.  I am discouraged by the appearance of ruffles and bows rather than seeing the simplicity of what could be.

Turning to contemplation, I used a favorite book for guidance.  While reading the well worn pages, I came across a paragraph encouraging me to travel with like minded people.  The writing reminded me that when energy is gathered we not only stimulate our selves, but also awaken the spiritual impulses of the earth.

Thinking of the bigger picture, perhaps it is not important for me to actually 'know' why I am attending.  Maybe I am not attending for a personal intention, but simply need to be present in the gathered energy. 

I am willing to trust there is a reason for my attendance even though it is currently hidden from me.  I can feel Spirit nudging me to move forward, so forward I will go.

 

Blessings of Solitude by John O'Donohue

 

 

 

 

 

May you recognize in your life the presence,

power, and light of your soul.

May you realize that you are never alone,

that your soul in its brightness and belonging

connects you intimately with the rhythm of the universe.

May you have respect for your individuality and difference.

May you realize that the shape of your soul is unique,

that you have a special destiny here,

that behind the facade of your life

there is something beautiful and eternal happening.

May you learn to see your self

with the same delight,

pride, and expectation

with which God sees you in every moment.

John O’Donohue

 

 

This morning I was missing a friend of mine who is on vacation, so I spent some time on her blog: 

 

Nan Yoga ~ Along the Path 

http://www.nanyoga-alongthepath.blogspot.com  

 

She has introduced me to numerous poets over the years through her inspiring style of teaching yoga.  She is also a member of the writer's group I attend.

 

Reading John O'Donohue's poem happened to occur while I was thinking of the writer's group meeting yesterday.  As I had not attended for some time, I was very impressed to find an atmosphere of positive thinking.  The focus was on steps that had been taken (even if baby steps) rather than reporting on the many tasks left undone.  There was enthusiasm and encouragement which quickly became infectious.  I realized that in my absence, these writers self-confidence and recognition of self-worth had definitely heightened. 

 

In reading Blessings of Solitude by John O'Donohue I was once again reminded of principles that keep us strong and focused.  We need to recognize and embrace the gifts and talents that happen to be unique to our selves, honoring them rather than comparing them.  In times of loneliness, rather than shutting down inwardly, we can reach out to the beauty surrounding us or utilize prayer, meditation, yoga, etc ...  All of these actions connect us with Divine Spirit, The Universe, God and Angels.  We can readily grow more fully into our selves if we hold the reflection of how we are seen by our Creator.

 

Personal discoveries made in solitude develop trust and confidence.  We are a part of a very large picture and this very large picture will not be complete unless we contibute our unique splash of color!

 

 

Crisp Clarity

In order to be full

you have to empty yourself

completely of yourself.

Eknath Easwaran

Thoughts for the Day

This morning I eagerly took my coffee onto the back patio to sit in my white wicker rocker and to enjoy the beauty of the morn.  The sun was out and the singing of the birds floated on the currents of the spring breeze. 

I, of course, was not alone.  I was accompanied by the inspirational writings of Mark Nepo, Alan Cohen, and a large collection of poems.  I feel open to breathe in the beauty of the morning and willing to experience new thought.  I was prepared.

Eknath Easwaran in the Thought for the Day, speaks of how we must empty our inner self in order to have room for fullness.  For me, this is not new news.  I find my self doing an internal 'spring cleaning' pretty much every day.  I endeavor to discard all that no longer supports me and everything that is nothing more than emotional baggage.  And yet, as I read these words this morning, I can only sigh in acknowledgement of having too much still attached within me.

I stretch my awareness in hopes of recognizing the criticisms and negative attitudes lurking in my mind.  I long for crisp clarity which will allow me to hear the slightest spiritual motion bringing me into the true sense of the presence of now. 

I realize spiritual moments are fleeting and it is impossible to live endlessly in bliss while navigating through this physical experience we call life.  It is unrealistic to expect to be in splendor all day long, so I seek it of the morning.  I wait for it in the early hours as my day begins.  If by chance I can glimpse a magical moment with insight or wisdom, I can face my day with calm and kindness.

And what if I cannot capture this experience during my morning coffee?  Well, of course the perfect answer might be to remain present in my white wicker rocker well into a meditation with lunch!  Maybe only rain will drive me back in without the support I need.  When asked what I have done today, "Spring cleaning," always seems to keep further questions at bay. 

Breathing in Wisteria

 

You have to believe in your self

when no one else does.

That's what makes you a winner.

Venus Williams

For numerous years, driving to Nashville has been an excited return to all that is inspiring and good .  This trip, I was gone for only three weeks, yet I feel out of rhythm and out of sorts.  Misplaced and without a sense of direction in an overwhelming sort of way best describes how I feel while sitting out back breathing in the wisteria.

The yard has an arbor covered with wisteria.  I was not familiar with this flower until my daughter first moved to Tennessee.  It reminds me of an upside down lilac, but much more fragrant.  It has varying degrees of purple and the most interesting gnarly branches.  The vines are unruly and offer a delite similar to watching the gracefulness of a ballerina.  Bees swarm all around its heavy ladened flowered branches and I just want to be lost in its beauty.

Upon my return, there is so much waiting for me to do, but I feel frozen in place without the ability to invigorate my spirit.  Granted, I never have tranisitioned very well, but I am simply stuck in time and place. 

It is not that I don't believe in my self, as I do most definitely. It is not that I don't believe that others believe in me, as many definitely do.  I guess I just don't care about being a winner.  I'd much rather just sit in my white wicker rocker breathing in this wonderful fragrance of the wisteria.

Finding Equal Happiness

How passionately we love everything

that cannot last:

the dazzling crystallory of winter,

the spring in bloom,

the fragile flight of the butterflies,

crimson sunsets,

a kiss,

and life.

Dean Koontz

Brother Odd

Yesterday was an euphoric entry into the magical rhythms of spring ... sunshine bursting, flowers radiant, green grass begging for bare feet, sweet fragrances floating in the air ... and all was well in my world.

People in the community were holding their hearts open in celebration of spring.  Everyone seemed to be a bit more kinder and polite towards each other by holding doors, offering smiles and seemingly happy to be alive!

In search for a few new pieces to spruce up my spring wardrobe, I encountered, much to my surprise, a professional friend I had not seen for twenty years.  She looked wonderful as she shared her accomplishments and excitedly embraced my career reporting.  I felt connected to my successful past which brought joy into my present.

When I returned to my car and settled into the driver's seat, I noticed something on my windshield.  "Oh no," I thought,  "not a ticket to ruin this perfect day!"  I climbed back out and ripped the paper from behind the windshield wiper.  What could this be?  Upon closer examination I discovered the lovely handwriting of a neglected friend.  Oh how I wish I had seen her!  Her quickly written message made me miss her all the more.

Upon arriving back at the house, I bustled in vibrating with all of the energies from this lovely spring day.  Writing in my journal,  I leisurely expressed my thoughts about the unfolding of this spring day.  I sadly realized that this foray into spring bliss, as other things I surely love, couldn't sustain these feelings much longer.  

The sun would once again sink into the horizon, and the graceful appearance of the moon would glide across the star lit sky.  Begrudgingly, I would leave the porch swing and find my way to bed.  I would place my fantasy spun memories to rest in hopes of finding equal happiness tomorrow.

Arriving Where I Began

We shall not cease from our exploration

And at the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.

T. S. Eliot

In the last few years, I believe I have become content with the knowledge I have rather than continuously seeking new.  I will always love to read and welcome new thought, but no longer will I be searching.  While exploring what I have gathered, I realize that all of the messages are the same, just spoken in different ways.  It is now time to practice all that applies.

Perhaps it is a simple transition from searching outside to going within my own true nature.  The more I honor my inner self, the less compelled I am to pursue other information defining who I am.  The transition, although simple, can feel threatening as I give up old definitions and old ways of thinking.  Any time I step into the new, I feel discomfort and even fear until a new comfort zone is established.  Once I embrace all that I hold to be true, I know that I have arrived back to my original starting place which I will now call home.

Realizing that my spirit is perfect, created by Divine, the need to reinvent my person fades.  Taking strides to perfect presentations or to master writing is enjoyable but no longer a requirement to secure who I am.  As spirit does not change, the discomfort stemming from change is created by the masks or false identities we strive to create and maintain.

It has taken a life time to override the teachings of being a sinner and a lesser than female.  It has taken a life time to become proud of my authentic and creative approach to life.  I am no longer driven to discover an identity that will be accepted or approved of by others.  I am simply me ... the same beautiful soul that began this journey so long ago.