Remaining in the Womb ...

Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us,

and glimpsed the follies, and misfortunes

that would befall us later on,

we would all stay in our mother's wombs.

Lemony Snicket

When I was a young adult, it was probably a good thing I did not know what was loitering in the hallways of this classroom called life.  As a seasoned adult, I look back and wonder how I had the resilience to accomplish all that I have.  


If we were given an itinerary at birth, and applied organizational skills and well thought out goals with outcomes, we certainly would still fall short of the expected mark.  How could we possibly maintain focus for all of time?


I do not believe we are predestined, that there is a specific detailed profile for us as we have freedom of choice which allows us to stray all over the map. I do believe there is a gentle outline of expectations or lessons we need to learn with a variety of ways to accomplish this.  I sometimes have compared my life to a billiard game where I am the ball bouncing off one post into another until I reach the needed destination.

And what about second chances?  If I were shown all of the errors of my ways and given another chance at life, certainly I would not make the same mistakes ... I'd end up making new ones ... and maybe they would be worse than the first!

It is a good thing I do not have control over the mechanics of this existence named life.  I believe Spirit allows me to wander from my intended path, yet ultimately I am guided back to where I need to be.  Sometimes it seems as though I am on a scavenger's hunt, collecting parts of myself from one place and then another. 

I do not believe I would have preferred to remain in the womb.  I don't do well in crowded places and need to be out in the sun. I am fairly impatient and get bored if I cannot relax into walking or reading.  And good grief, how would I write or worse yet, talk!  No, life has unfolded better outside of the womb.

Finding Equal Happiness

How passionately we love everything

that cannot last:

the dazzling crystallory of winter,

the spring in bloom,

the fragile flight of the butterflies,

crimson sunsets,

a kiss,

and life.

Dean Koontz

Brother Odd

Yesterday was an euphoric entry into the magical rhythms of spring ... sunshine bursting, flowers radiant, green grass begging for bare feet, sweet fragrances floating in the air ... and all was well in my world.

People in the community were holding their hearts open in celebration of spring.  Everyone seemed to be a bit more kinder and polite towards each other by holding doors, offering smiles and seemingly happy to be alive!

In search for a few new pieces to spruce up my spring wardrobe, I encountered, much to my surprise, a professional friend I had not seen for twenty years.  She looked wonderful as she shared her accomplishments and excitedly embraced my career reporting.  I felt connected to my successful past which brought joy into my present.

When I returned to my car and settled into the driver's seat, I noticed something on my windshield.  "Oh no," I thought,  "not a ticket to ruin this perfect day!"  I climbed back out and ripped the paper from behind the windshield wiper.  What could this be?  Upon closer examination I discovered the lovely handwriting of a neglected friend.  Oh how I wish I had seen her!  Her quickly written message made me miss her all the more.

Upon arriving back at the house, I bustled in vibrating with all of the energies from this lovely spring day.  Writing in my journal,  I leisurely expressed my thoughts about the unfolding of this spring day.  I sadly realized that this foray into spring bliss, as other things I surely love, couldn't sustain these feelings much longer.  

The sun would once again sink into the horizon, and the graceful appearance of the moon would glide across the star lit sky.  Begrudgingly, I would leave the porch swing and find my way to bed.  I would place my fantasy spun memories to rest in hopes of finding equal happiness tomorrow.

Alignment ...

maps

"there is no map.

you gotta write your own.

you gotta carve your own.

you gotta sweat, cry, grieve, laugh

and love your own.

and when you are all done,

that's all that will have mattered."

Bone Sigh Arts

                                                                         

Life could have been so much easier if we had been born with a personal navigation system. It could be advanced, of course, indicating not only what roads to take, but which relationships to cultivate, what schools to attend or employment to choose, and preventive health measures. Maybe in addition to a voice directing us, there could be bells and whistles to indicate when we were veering off course. Yes, maybe there could be some programmed affirmations rather than just hearing a woman say, "recalculating" after we've missed the turn.

Navigational systems are simply a reflection of how our culture relies upon outside sources. Information must be gathered for furthering mankind. Input from others is valuable to test and redefine theories. I have deep respect for the power of research providing understanding, application and advancement. However, all must be tempered by the guidance and insight we can receive from within ... harm no one.

We do have an internal navigation system. It is the voice inside of us, guiding us if we would but listen. The little voice of big wisdom has been called various things for endless generations: intuition, gut feelings, angels, or Divine Intervention.

Navigating through life, I have of course used available resources, but how many times have I said, "I should have followed my gut!" There are many memories of following some one else's advice only to later learn how it ultimately advanced their purpose and not my own. Instances can be recalled when I was so strong willed that I ignored my own inside voice in addition to the educated voices of others. (Note to self: trip didn't go so well!)

Tears and laughter as well as loss and gain are all an integral part of living this physical life. One unfortunately needs to know the one in order to appreciate the other. If we trust our inner guidance, however, we still experience difficult situations, but without the deeper drama and tearing of the soul.

During this time of my life, I find it vital for my body, mind and spirit to be aligned. In order for me to navigate around curves in the road, climb steep hills, and travel through seemingly unlit passage ways, I must feel inside all things resonating in relation to my purpose and kindness to others. Alignment makes for a much smoother ride!