Moving Forward

"He could hear human hearts breaking.  Tonight, he could hear soundless screams of a nameless brigade trying to find its way out of a concrete jungle of unrealized dreams."

Sidney Poitier

MONTARO CAINE



When in high school, I viewed the movie, LILIES OF THE FIELD, and I experienced  great admiration for Sidney Poitier.  Somewhere in there was another movie entitled, A PATCH OF BLUE, followed by TO SIR, WITH LOVE; IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT;  and GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER.  Sidney Poitier is a well established actor,  film director, author and diplomat.  He is a spiritual man I greatly admire.

I have just read Mr. Poitier's novel, MONTARO CAINE.  The story itself was not what held my attention, but rather the depth of meaning behind the story.  The characters from the beginning moved with a momentum leading to qualities that today's world needs to adhere to.  The quality of his writing had a simple richness to it with the his ability to utilize well chosen words.   

In this time in our world, right now, we are all being called to goodness, to stand up for what is right for all peoples.  We are being nudged to realize we are temporary visitors of our planet and we are being unacceptable guests.  We are individually being called to know our heart, to share in the care of the earth, and to speak our truths.  When we trust and embrace kindness, the Universe provides.

If we truly listen to the nightmares, the doubts, the shaming and guilt residing within, we can experience self-forgiveness and personal healing.  When we throw off the misguided choices of our past, there is new room cleanly created to rekindle our passion and discover new beginnings of hope.

Words of surrender and submission  go against my grain, but I feel ascended by the thought of embracing Divine Spirit surrounding me in all things.  I have faith to step through the fear of darkness and onto the path of light where we can all move forward together.

Less is More

 

 

 

Come, come , Whoever you are

Wanderer, Worshipper, lover of leaving

it doesn't matter,

ours is not a caravan of despair.

Come, even if you have broken your vow

a hundred times

Come, Come again, Come.

 

~rumi

 

 

Walking by the edge of the Atlantic Ocean, the chilly waves cleanse my feet, and all negative thoughts.  I am lulled by the sound of the ocean and comforted by the warm sun upon my back. The gentle breeze encourages me to walk just a little further, and then a little bit more.

 

I came across this Rumi quote written on a post card in a great unique shop named THE GREEN PINEAPPLE.  I have been a wanderer all of my life whether it be of body, mind, or soul.  Life has guided me in so many directions, I have often wondered if I don't have 'gypsy' blood.  My travels have been many, but only to places provoking deeper parts of my self to surface.   The more I get to know my inner self, the more I realize I am no longer the person I have been.  Layer upon layer sheds, and the lighter I find my self feeling.  Letting go of issues that once mattered encourages me to believe that less is truly more.

 

Excused from a rigid routine, free floating through a sunny day, my mind relaxes and my spirit is calm.  Perception of life is easily broken down into small pieces for me, and I carefully review delicate ponderings.

 

Rumi speaks of broken vows and I am reminded of the many I have earnestly made to my self, only to allow them to lapse in the pursuit of another.  Being gentle with my self, I realize as I stretch, grow, and change, earnest vows cannot always be honored.  To remain rigid in the confines of previous thoughts does not lend it self to deeper understanding just waiting beyond the boundary.  Stepping through the many illusions all based in fear, I feel closer to Spirit and connected to all things in nature and beyond.

 

There is a freedom here, a pure sense of "no-thing-ness" as the water tickles my feet and the ocean seems to extend forever.  Last night's dream returns and I once again try to decipher the many layers of meaning.  There is a distinct message loitering just beyond my understanding.  I will continue to unearth the symbols unknown to me in hopes of making the message clear.

 

It is time to turn around and go back.  The sun shines in my face, and the ocean continues to play with my feet.  There is no more longing.  The yearning has stopped.  I am here, clearly present in the moment and I know I can ..."Come, Come again. Come."

 

 

 

Inward Gaze

 

Truth be told, the inward gaze is something she's not too fond of.  But there are secrets that lurk in the mind, and she doesn't want any of them sneaking up on her.  Sometimes it pays to take a deep look inside even if you get queasy gazing into those dark corners.

 

Alden Bell

The Reapers Are the Angels

 

 

We all repress unpleasant memories for a variety of reasons.  Who knows what really triggers one to unexpectedly surface.  We might respond with a fit of nervous laughter or a startling realization of the return of something thought to have been left in the past.  There may be a sense of foreboding or dread, but if something has surfaced, we need to take a look.

 

It is said with recalling memories, nothing will appear we are not prepared to examine.  If our mind feels certain we are capable of exploring, it will release what it is we need to know.

 

Exploring inner landscapes is not always a pleasant thing to do.  We find our selves discovering both shadow and light.  We search for words to articulate the silence held within and this is not an easy task.  In fact it takes courage and resilience to face what appears to be the unknown.

 

Our hidden truth is like a seed buried in the ground, pushing to sprout and be known.  When we are capable of  embracing whatever lurks under the surface, we will find our selves to be a creative master of our garden.

Never Too Late!

It's never too late to become

the person you might have been.

George Eliot

Sometimes I cannot help but wonder how my life might have been if I had returned to Chicago after college rather than marrying and becoming a mother in a small city.  The social life of a big city does not enter into the equation, but the challenge of social services in a large city would have been daunting.  The harshness of life may have altered my personality, values, and attitudes immensely.  Then again, I may have followed a writing career which would have led me through a variety of experiences. 

Even now, however, years later, I still have the opportunity to write.  Perhaps not as a career, but giving writing the attention my life now allows.  I post on my blog every day, belong to a writers group, journal and  continue to work on a handbook.  My livelihood does not depend upon my writing, so it is a joy rather than a pressure to produce. 

Many women return to earlier passions ... piano lessons, dance lessons, additional education, small business entrepreneurs or various opportunities in the arts.  It is never too late to expand and grow ourselves to the fullest of our desires.

Triangle Approach

The most important thing in life

is to know yourself.

Thales

This morning I was visiting spiritual sites, getting caught up on some of the current thinking.  The word "triangle" jumped out at me on the Tom Kenyon pages.  The triangle is my favorite symbol and has been the most prominent one in my life.

Tom Kenyon suggests a "Triune approach to duality" that seemed quite easy for me.  If you can, visualize a triangle with positive perspective in one bottom corner, negative perspective in the other bottom corner, and the 'self' above in the top of the triangle.  The approach suggests that when we have a reaction to someone, whether positive or negative, we would do ourselves a favor by floating above the perception to get a broader view, to see what we are not seeing by being so close. 

It makes sense to me.  If we are using binoculars and find ourselves in rapture over a rare bird in a tree, we may be so singularly focused we miss the bear appearing from the other side of the landscape.  (I know, a stretch, but you get my point)

We are often called to make a too quick assessment of someone or we take them at face value only later amazed at the glaring qualities we originally missed.  I am not suggesting paranoia or the idea that we hold people at a distance. 

Each and every one of us have positive and negative aspects in our character and we decide which we use and when.  When we view others however, our perception is frequently too narrow.  If we would gently pull our vision back to take in the entire essence of the person we may discover so much more.  We may not be so quick to judge, either way.

So the next time we become immediately attracted to someone, mentally float up above and scan the entire landscape.  The same holds true if we are instantly repulsed by someone.  By pulling back, we will be broadening our perspective, viewing additional information which may alter our perspective.

For years I have tried to understand myself, and just when I think I do, I change.  So this triangle approach is good to be used on ourselves as well.  When we feel our behavior or thinking shifts, we can pull back and see the in's and outs.  We can better explore if our shift is permanent or temporary, is it action or reaction, does it need to be modified or enhanced ... well, you get the idea!  

Avoiding the Void ...

Through silence,

solitary practice,

and simple living,

we begin to

fill the empty

reservoir.

David A. Cooper

It is part of the human experience to feel a void inside.  I have read that the void first comes to our attention when we begin to separate from the idenity of our parents, realizing that we are not just an extention of them.  So if we are not them, exactly who are we?  We begin to explore many avenues ... sports, creative expression ... vying for attention in various ways.

We are all very unique even though we have so many similarities.  We attempt to meet our needs differently, and not always successfully.  Over time, we stuff our void with endless activities appropriate and unappropriate ... all a part of the learning curve.  We wear different hats, slip into other people's shoes, and search outside of our selves ... if only we could fill the void.

The void can be called a yearning or loneliness.  It can be called depression or anxiety.  Although not a human form, it sometimes sleeps only to come roaring awake demanding to be fed.  The last place we think to look for solution is deeply inside.

Once we begin the journey within, we create an awareness that helps us tune in to the light and dark residing inside.  We seem to start out carrying a small candle, but our light grows along the way enabling us to see more and more of who we are and who we are meant to be.  Sometimes it takes a blow torch to reach into the darkest parts of our selves, but the rewards of forgiveness and letting go of the past lightens our weary soul.

There is a little book quite old by now entitled, "THE HOUND OF HEAVEN".  The story reflects how we run from our true connections with the Divine.  We search for meaning in all of the unfulfilled places before we finally surrender to who we are spiritually.  We cannot avoid the void forever.

It all begins with cleansing the void and then proceeding gently gathering qualities true to our nature.  By being in the present moment, growing comfortable in the stillness, and remaining mindful we finally fill our void with self-love, self-respect, self-forgiveness and engagement with the Divine.

Blessings of Solitude by John O'Donohue

 

 

 

 

 

May you recognize in your life the presence,

power, and light of your soul.

May you realize that you are never alone,

that your soul in its brightness and belonging

connects you intimately with the rhythm of the universe.

May you have respect for your individuality and difference.

May you realize that the shape of your soul is unique,

that you have a special destiny here,

that behind the facade of your life

there is something beautiful and eternal happening.

May you learn to see your self

with the same delight,

pride, and expectation

with which God sees you in every moment.

John O’Donohue

 

 

This morning I was missing a friend of mine who is on vacation, so I spent some time on her blog: 

 

Nan Yoga ~ Along the Path 

http://www.nanyoga-alongthepath.blogspot.com  

 

She has introduced me to numerous poets over the years through her inspiring style of teaching yoga.  She is also a member of the writer's group I attend.

 

Reading John O'Donohue's poem happened to occur while I was thinking of the writer's group meeting yesterday.  As I had not attended for some time, I was very impressed to find an atmosphere of positive thinking.  The focus was on steps that had been taken (even if baby steps) rather than reporting on the many tasks left undone.  There was enthusiasm and encouragement which quickly became infectious.  I realized that in my absence, these writers self-confidence and recognition of self-worth had definitely heightened. 

 

In reading Blessings of Solitude by John O'Donohue I was once again reminded of principles that keep us strong and focused.  We need to recognize and embrace the gifts and talents that happen to be unique to our selves, honoring them rather than comparing them.  In times of loneliness, rather than shutting down inwardly, we can reach out to the beauty surrounding us or utilize prayer, meditation, yoga, etc ...  All of these actions connect us with Divine Spirit, The Universe, God and Angels.  We can readily grow more fully into our selves if we hold the reflection of how we are seen by our Creator.

 

Personal discoveries made in solitude develop trust and confidence.  We are a part of a very large picture and this very large picture will not be complete unless we contibute our unique splash of color!