A Good Day After All

“The most incredible architecture
Is the architecture of Self,

which is ever changing, evolving, revolving and has unlimited beauty

and light inside which radiates outwards for everyone to see and feel.

With every in breathe
you are adding to your life
and every out breathe you are releasing what is not contributing to your life.
Every breathe is a re-birth.”

Allan Rufus

The Master's Sacred Knowledge

The sky is an ugly gray.  It is cold out. There is no prediction for sunshine.  It is too late to go back to bed and too early for a nap.  I am completely unmotivated.  I decide to ignore the growing stack of laundry and allow the dust to gather yet another day. 

After running through a self-assessment, I know in my heart  I will accomplish nothing today.  So I decide to create a sacred space to do nothing in.  I start a fire in the fireplace, gather candles, and my favorite old quilt.  I fill a basket with books ... Rumi, Hafiz, Gibran; old dream journals;  Kubler-Ross, Moody, Weiss; Tolle, Braden, Nepo, Cohen;  and my current journal with a new purple ink pen.  I complete this space by adding  bottled water, a fresh carafe of coffee and a stash of snacks.

Once settled, I extend a prayerful invitation for others to come and join me in my newly created sacred space.  I request energy, love, and light accompanied by wisdom and insight.  My heart then opens wider to allow my self to change, evolve, and grow. 

I feel purposeful and content to experience my created day.  I realize we some times need to just stop and carve out a place for our sacred self to be nurtured, revitalized, and safely grow.  My heart is warmed by the gathering in front of  my fireplace ... kindred spirits, angels, and some  I don't know.  I find my self excited as it turns out to be a good day after all.

Dismantle the Wall

Indian teacher Sri Nisargadatta writes, "The mind creates the abyss. The heart crosses over it." Sometimes the abyss of fear and isolation is so wide that we hold back, unable to enter the sanctuary of presence, frozen in our pain. At such times, we need a taste of love from somewhere in order to begin the thaw.    

Tara Brach



Tara Brach is a Clinical Psychologist, Author, Teacher of Buddhist Mindfulness and regularly posts on a blog for The Huffington Post.  In the entry I was reading this morning, Tara Brach was sharing a story about a friend who was faced with illness and not surprisingly scared.  This story reflected how we throw up walls around us when we are frightened which prevents us from receiving what we need ... love.  She encourages us not to go into isolation but to reach out and asked to be loved.  To be loved is our basic need.

I have been a master brick layer all of my life.  I can create a solid brick wall within a blink of the eye.  My walls can be easily removed once I feel safe, but generally remain in place for lengths of time.   I can openly share this now as I have learned to face fear an not hide.  I am still tempted to demonstrate my brick laying skills, but I now force my self to stand still in the moment facing fear.  Fear is nothing but an illusion.  What happens to be waiting for us behind the illusion of fear is not always good, but it is better than the emotional damage hiding behind a wall.

Standing in the present moment requires courage as so does asking to be loved.   Some where along life's path I assumed that if you were worth it, people would tell you of their love and one never asked for love.  To ask for love would be totally humiliating. 

Sometimes in spite of our isolation, a true friend sees through our mask and reaches out to us, to save us from our limiting behaviors.  At first we may be shocked a person saw through our thick wall of protection, and then we collapse with relief to be loved after all.  

It takes more energy to be a master of disguise obsessed with building an invisible wall, than it does to stand still in the present moment.  It takes less energy to face our fears.  With great courage, we can extend our hand through fear and discover the warm hand of a friend just waiting for us.  We don't have to be alone to face the challenges in our lives.

These things help me:
~ be aware that a wall is being put up
~ notice the isolation
~ understand self-sabotage
~ remember being worthy
~ reach out to a trusted friend
~ request hugs
~ remember this is not unique nor healthy behavior
~ it is a basic human need to be loved

It is important to remember that action is the key.  Those surrounding us may or may not be aware of challenges we try to hide.  We must reach out.  Sometimes that is all we can do, just reach out.  Maybe we do not have the courage to disclose the story, but the act of reaching out will be comforting in itself.  When we gain the confidence to share our story, we then will have a person to explore some solutions.  Through trusted conversations, we can discover healthy
ways to move forward. 

Quick fixes are not the answer.  Be patient with life and we must be gentle with our self.  We can sit in the sun and allow our self to thaw.   We can discover a patron saint, a favortie poet, or a daily inspiration to help us on our way. (May I suggest Allan Cohen and Mark Nepo)  Brick by brick remove the wall.  If this seems impossible, than climb over it ... just get to the other side!

For whatever reason if we do not feel we have any person physically capable of being present to witness our lives, seek out a minister, a mentor, or guidance through meditation.  There are numerous energy workers or even a massage can stimulate our body, mind, and soul.  In prayer, we are always heard even if we do not receive immediate results.  Journal or write letters.   We need to make the choice to begin.  Reach out!

Habit Forming

Criteria of Emotional Maturity

*  The ability to deal constructively with reality

*  The capacity to adapt to change

*The capacity to find more satisfaction

in giving than receiving

*The capacity to love

William C. Menninger, MD

Body language has always intrigued me while observing others.   It is interesting to listen and observe a person saying, "I am good.  Really good."  All the while, the speaker is shaking his or her head no from side to side conflicting with the yes answer.  There is almost comic relief when a person says, "I am open to anything you have to say."  He then crosses his arms in a very defensive position. 

One time I read a depressed person walks with his or her head down, looking at the sidewalk or feet.  A person bracing for what awaits, walks hunched over and into an imaginary wind.  The optimistic person walks looking up into the sky seeking sunshine, birds, clouds, and happiness.

Positive and negative thinking is linked directly to positive and negative behavior.   We choose our thinking and behaviors.  Both are habit forming. 

Positive Thinkers                                                      Negative Thinkers

Connected to creative power                                   Feeling scattered

Be constructive                                                         Heavy criticism

Look for the good                                                     Expect the worst

Choose how  to feel                                                  Lack of emotional control

Do the best in every situation                                 Muddle through unprepared

Eat mindfully and healthy                                        Poor diet  lowered immune system

Happy and optimistic                                               Anxiety, depression, pessimistic

It is easy to see that negative thinking can be bad for our body, mind, and soul.  When we respond by being hesitant and resistant we are not open or flexible to change.  If we do not change, we remain stuck in negative thinking and negative behaviors follow.

A positive attitude does not spare any one from challenge or sorrow.  We all experience both difficult and precious times.  The optimist allows the memories of precious time to sustain and to give courage when experiencing life's disappointments.  An optimist is more likely to step through fear and face the known or unknown consequences.

It is important to use self-talk or affirmations to set the tone of our day.  'Today will be a good day.'  'Today I will embrace all people with patience.'  When we know we are facing a difficult morning we can acknowledge it but also see past it.  'This morning is going to be challenging, but I will get to the other side where calm awaits me.'   

Life is consistently teaching us lessons and is not out to destroy us.  When we endeavor to be a positive and  receptive student, things will still unfold, unravel, and undo, but if we can maintain an open attitude we are more able to  withstand hardships and succeed. 

Spring's Arrival

“Winter is the time for comfort,

 for good food and warmth,

for the touch of a friendly hand and

for a talk beside the fire:

it is the time for home.”

Edith Sitwell

My astrological sign indicates how important home is to me.  My home surrounds me with my favorite collections of things gathered from all over.  Most items are insignificant to others, but I can recall their origins and why they meant something special to me.  I guess I could say the same about the friends I have gathered into my home.  Each friend being uniquely their own, but we all have a vibrant thread connecting us in some invisible way.

Winter has its share of beauty, but I find it to be so cold and dull.  I don't mind hibernating so much, it is the absence of brilliant colors, sunshine and warmth.  The winter is drab and my imagination feels stunted in return.  I have been told that today is the first day of spring, but clearly some one has neglected to pass the word along to those who control.

Most people watch television, but my personal favorite winter activity is watching a fire in the fireplace.  I can stare into a fire for hours on end being magically led to what has passed, the possibilities of dreams for the future, and what might need special attention in the present.   It is as though the fire dances around stirring stories within me.  Some stories are just sad memories, others are filled with laughter, and some are nothing but wonderment.

Winter hibernating doesn't take much effort on my part.  If I have my favorite quilt, I can cuddle up most anywhere and read or write for hours on end.  I have no need to communicate with anyone and I  seem to lack any desire to be out in the cold.   Actions always have consequences which in my case means isolation.  On some level I miss my circle of friends who support me so very well, and yet I find my self willing to sink deeper into the folds and creases of my soul.

The hermit side of my self seems to be gaining momentum away  from the extroverted part of me.  I willingly enter the deep caverns of my cave with candles glowing and a warm fire waiting.  Endless silent moments are like little gifts dropped lovingly upon me.  I love the silence and it intensifies the cloak of darkness draping over me. 

It is here in this darkness my light will reflect what is remaining for me to do.  It will radiate a brightness for me to view what loiters still that I won't allow my self to see.   As I shred pieces of my past,  into the fire they go.  Now kindled by the discarded trash, the fire grows, lifting the darkness and leaving a healing glow.

Hibernating in a cave being  content as a hermit, creates a social awkwardness when others are anticipating the extroverted side of my self.  The clashing of my 'selves' creates an anxiety that grows too loudly in my ears.  I discover my self retreating back into my winter cave, knowing I will welcome new growth in the spring.  When it actually arrives!

Stillness Can Be A Gift

                             "Seek out a tree and let it teach you stillness."

                                                    Eckhart Tolle

(Findhorn Retreat: Stillness Amidst The World)

The art of being still accompanies practices like yoga, meditation, contemplation and simple observation.  The greatest skill is learning to quiet the mind.  Mind chatter, frequently referred to as monkey chatter, can and will distort most efforts of mind solitude.  Sometimes it is more difficult to quiet the mind in seclusion than simply 'zoning' out in the midst of life.

There is a technique which assists being still in the moment with another person.  Clear the mind of thoughts, and listen to what the other person is saying.  It helps to imagine their words filling a blank space above the head like one sees in cartoons.  Let the white cloud  fill up with the person's words.  Look at them just as they are, without bringing personal reaction to mind.  By keeping our personal beliefs or reactions to our self and opening our mind in solitude to receive the words of another, can really be challenging and insightful.

This particular practice brings a better understanding of others.  When we are totally still, we are more objective with the words of another.  It is easier to understand a different perspective without agreeing or disagreeing.  We are simply still in the moment, allowing the other person to be heard without interruption or interpretation.  Our emotions do not become conflicted or enmeshed and the opportunity for growth is fertile.

Some times our feedback is unnecessary.  A person may be seeking the opportunity to creatively express themselves without fear of judgment or challenge.  If we encourage them to continue speaking without our own personal comments, the experience can be liberating.  Again, we can agree to disagree, but it is not even necessary to express that option.  Just be still and this will be a gift ... to be a quiet witness in the space of another.

The Traveler

The spiritual path ~ is simply the journey of living our lives.

Everyone is on a spiritual path,

most people just don't know it.

Marianne Williamson

If the spiritual path were in one straight line where the traveler could have clear vision, and confidence on the path, the journey would be so much easier.  This is not the way, however.  The spiritual path bends and curves, has barriers to be overcome, detours available for free choice, stretches through rain, fog, sleet, snow, and very high winds.  Some days the sun is shining while other days darkness covers the path.  It is not easy nor was it meant to be.  The spiritual path requires patience, awareness, determination, courage and guidance from various sources.  The goal is to find all parts of the self and to become one with all there is.  All paths lead to Divine Spirit.

Although each spiritual path differs, the traveler meets a variety of teachers along the way, learning important lessons.  Some teachers stay with us for awhile and yet others seem coincidental just in passing.  Most of the journey is spent alone, discovering the traveler's purpose, strengths, gifts and talents.

Another portion of the spiritual path is designated for the traveler to not only be a student of life, but also at times the teacher.  As the teacher, experienced wisdom can be passed along to others upon the path.  It is an opportunity for the traveler to be in service to fellow travelers.

When the traveler wanders off the path, connections can be made with exceptional people who do not appear to be traveling at all.  These non-travelers do not appear to be following any sort of path and yet they are spiritually inspiring almost unknowingly.  They may not even refer to themselves as even being spiritual, but we find them to be respectful and honorable.

The spiritual path is a journey of a life time.  It is not meant to be a super speed way, as it is mostly a solitude road.  At times a section of the path may seem familiar as though it has been previously traveled, but the boulder once struggled with is now only a rock.  Tools are gathered along the way in hopes the traveler can move through troublesome areas more gracefully.  At times, it is easy to forget about the tools, and the traveler mounts the boulder again.

A traveler may also be a seeker or one who wanders.  Just because the traveler may wander, it does not mean the traveler is lost.  There are various foot paths available and although these less tread paths are not direct routes, they frequently provide needed rest or solitude or greater challenge. 

We are all travelers in one way or another and all paths lead to the Divine. 

Joy in Bubbles

A smile starts on the lips.

A grin spreads to the eyes.

A chuckle comes from the belly;

But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul.

Carolyn Birmingham

Over time, I have become more selective with those I entrust.  Feeling more comfortable  with closer friends, I guess I let my guard down.  I have always had the tendency to see the spiritual side of people rather than the human side.  Unfortunately, when some one behaves very much in human form, I find my self disappointed. So I have an unrealistic expectation, even though I am compassionate and understanding.  I forgive easily, but I tend to feel wounded or betrayed when I have been personally disappointed. 

Pure gossip rounded a bend and unexpectedly splattered in my face.  I felt my self escalating through initial embarrassment, humiliation, and a wounded spirit.  It was not so much about what exactly was said, but rather the reflection of the person not understanding me at all.  We can agree to disagree, but it is rather disturbing to then be made fun of for the differences.  I some how expected extended respect and honor for each other.

I took off on a walk hoping the wind would blow away my sinking self-worth.  I lectured my self on not letting what others have to say about me be more important than what I know to be true.  I cautioned my self to let it go and be in the moment.  Release the drama and move along.

As I turned the corner, bubbles burst upon my face.  Then another rush of shinning bubbles burst into my hair.  I immediately felt joy as bubbles are one of my most favorite things!  I glanced up on the porch and there was a man laughing at me.  He had set up a bubble machine just to see peoples reactions.  He told me he just felt like bringing a little laughter into his life, to not take life so seriously.  What a blessing this man was to me.  I felt as though he were an angel deliberately set on my path to gently coax me out of my pity party.

After chatting with this delightful stranger, I continued on my walk feeling extremely lighter and more buoyant.  It felt good to smile, to grin and even to chuckle;  but the laughter from my soul helped to transform the negative to a positive.  I felt happy again created by the simple act of offering bubbles.

Star Fish: Healing and Regeneration

“Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said,  "It made a difference for that one!"

Loren Eiseley

The Starfish has been used to represent the Virgin Mary (Stella Maris which means Star of the Sea) who creates safe travel over troubled waters and is also seen as an emblem of salvation during trying times. The Starfish can also be seen as a celestial symbol and as such, represents infinite divine love. In addition to love, the Starfish also holds characteristics such as guidance, vigilance, inspiration, brilliance and intuition. To see a starfish in your dream, suggests a period of healing and regeneration. Alternatively, it may indicate that you have many options to weigh and decisions to make.

There are many symbols surrounding us every day.  If we would take the time to decipher the meaning of such a symbol we would discover extended reflections about our lives.  Learning about symbols would bring deeper meaning into every day.  It is a matter of investment ... in our selves.

Night Circus

I thought a circus environment would be an interesting venue to explore, where you didn't just have one tent with three rings and a show going on but where you could explore different things in different tents.

Erin Morgenstern
NIGHT CIRCUS


While at my daughter's home, she encouraged me to read a book she had just finished reading.  The book is entitled, "NIGHT CIRCUS" written by Erin Morgenstern.  It is not the type of book I would choose for my self, but I enjoyed it immensely.  It was relaxing to escape into the fantasy of a Night Circus, to use my own imagination to broaden the author's intention, and to experience a life more like a dream. 

Night Circus is not filled with clowns, animals and carnival rides.  The story focuses more on individual characters and how they expand their gifts and talents.  The author engages the young and the old into an arena of possibility where imagination allows escape from every day reality.  The fantasy triggers questions of whether or not things like this story could really exist.

Although this is a fun read, there are a few characters showing a dark side, ulterior motives, and ability to manipulate others.  So there are parallels comparable to reality.  We must stay alert, dedicated to our purpose, open to creativity, and be aware of others motivations. 

So if you are looking for an interesting escape with great character development, laced with illusions and memorable characters, Night Circus will be of interest to you!

 

Subtle Change

“It takes courage...to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.”

Marianne Williamson, Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"



In the month of December of 2012 I prepared for the ending of another year.  Parts of my self began to shift and  although observant, I was not feeling as though I knew where this slide was taking me.  The swift journey down the slope dumped me into January of 2013 with subtle changes short of my grasp. 

I had been sick for two weeks, cleansing body, mind and soul, leaving me exhausted and apprehensive of what was waiting in store.  As my mind had been de-cluttered, I was aware of open space waiting for a new level of understanding or reviews of past challenges.  Nothing appeared.  It felt as though I were wearing a cap of nothingness upon my head with no purpose at all.

I am a person who collects and gathers.  I don't get everything in one lump sum, I add a little bit at a time.  Even so, the emptiness in my mind unnerves me.    It is as though I have become barren without sadness, choice or comprehension.  What is this to mean?

Growing more and more private, I pry my heart open ready to receive what is yet to come.  I remain still, anticipating subtle changes.  Love, energy, and light continue to be my domain even though nothing else seems to remain the same.

The Veil

God cannot leave us.

It is just that our soul is so vast,

we do not always feel His lips

upon the veil.

St. Catherine of Siena

(1347 ~ 1380)

In spiritual discussions, insights and mystical moments are frequently compared to a veil being lifted.    The veil being lifted refers to the sudden ability to see or understand something within a blink of an eye. It is so fleeting, the experience cannot be put into words or be appropriately reflected.  

This uncharted spiritual experience could also be compared to a drapery being pulled aside for a clear view and then replaced back into position, blocking what one had just seen.  It happens so quickly one wonders if they have experienced it at all.

It is as though the human being experiences a spiritual moment implanting a 'knowing' into our memory, but this 'knowing' is not accompanied by the spiritual language to explain such an experience.   Deep within, we have just witnessed an explanation of an unknown, but have been left with human limitations.  This 'knowing' leaves us with a feeling of affirmation and validation increasing our faith and dedication without a tangible explanation.

Spiritual "ah-ha" moments expand our understanding and knowledge, but leave us unable to appropriately relate them to others.  If not written down to the best of our abiltiy, the exceptional experience can be quickly forgotten as though it had never happened at all.

We need to be aware to notice the veil.  Our hearts must be open to see through the parted veil.  When we allow for stillness, our body, mind, and spirit are deeply connected and we are humbly embraced by all that is ...

To Journey with Dreams

I believe in everything until it's disproved.  So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons.  It all exists, even if it's in your mind.  Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?   John Lennon

Scientific studies, psychological literature, and sage philosophers reflect the importance of dreaming and substantiate dreams.  We dream in color, images or symbols reflecting emotions, and frequently personal messages can be detected.  In a sense, dreaming can be a form of communication.  This includes pleasant dreams as well as nightmares.

As I was driving home from Nashville, Tennessee,  I decided to listen to a series of spiritual tapes (yes, they are old)  to help pass the time as I found my self to be bored.  I had played these tapes many times, but it had been years and I was curious as to how much I had forgotten or embraced. 

After considerable winding and rewinding, I managed to insert one of the tapes correctly.  The content was discussing how God uses the Holy Spirit to speak through us.  The presenter was using an example of a child dreaming, actually having a nightmare.  Assuming the audience was on the same wave length, he describes entering the child's room and gently assuring the child he or she is safe.  He firmly stated that "we" were not interested in the dream content as it was not important.  "We" did not ask the child what the nightmare contained,  as our job was to bring comfort from the Holy Spirit through our voice.  After a few moments of assurance, the child is told to return to sleep.

Confined and alone in my car, I found my self yelling, "Are you kidding me?"  My hands  white knuckled on the steering wheel, and my foot accelerating in reaction to my anger,  I found my self speeding down the interstate.  Yes, of course, comfort the child with God and Holy Spirit flowing through words, but if there is no discussion of the dream, one will simply repress what was already repressed, allowing the nightmare to resurface again.

As I continued my drive home in silence, I recalled many times each of my four children experienced dreams.  They reported mystical dreams or silly adventures or nightmares.  I would remain present with them, listening and allowing them to talk the content out.  Comfort is vitally important but it is not the only necessity in dream resolution.

I think of dreams as feed back.  If I am suppressing fear, chances are good I may have a nightmare.  If I am struggling with creative output, I may have a dream containing an excellent format I had not yet thought of.  If I am conflicted with a relationship, I may dream a mini drama reflecting different options I had not considered or see my self portrayed in a not so pretty light.

Dreams are a form of communication, telling us, showing us, and helping us to navigate in life just a little bit better.  They help us to see things how they could be or maybe how things really are.  There are symbols, themes and insights buried within the scenario just waiting to be discovered and applied.

If you are the least bit curious, please discover the book:  THE MYSTICAL MAGICAL MARVELOUS WORLD of DREAMS, written by Wilda B. Tanner.  It truly is the only book a person might need.  The first part explains how dreams work, what they might mean, and developing the practice of remembering or recording dreams.   Another section discusses what animals, buildings, clothing, backgrounds, locations, actions, parts of the body, and actions have to do with dreams.  The remainder of the book is a dream dictionary.  I first purchased this book in 1988 and truly believe it is one of the best available.  It is very user friendly, respected, and thorough.

Need to get away?  Grab this book and a journal and you will be blown away!!

Building Futures



Have you seen your future lately...?
Oh, there it is!
Spinning in the palm of your hand. 

The Universe

www.tut.com

Can we really see our future in our hands?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Our hands, however, play an enormous part in our future.  We can dream of our future, but if we do not take action with our hands, our future may never become a reality.

Our future doesn't just happen willy nilly.  The future takes planning and preparation even though the end result may be something entirely different from what we planned.  We can still be spontaneous and open to possibilities but we must have at least a sketchy idea or vision.

A future is much like a building.  It needs a strong foundation and lots of layers of bricks.  Then windows must be added to let the light in and doorways for communing with others.  A kitchen for gathering and nurturing the soul. Add a well lighted stairway for ascending into better ideas and concepts.  A strong roof must be added to protect from bad storms, strong winds, and whatever else may fall.  Yes, I suppose it is the story of the Three Little Pigs all over again!

We hold our dreams or futures in the palms of our hands, but the work must begin in the now, in the present.  We work towards the future, not waiting for a miracle to plop down our futures and dreams manifested.  We have work to do.  Don't wait for the future to arrive.  Start building pieces of the future today and every day. 

Human Beings Learning to Evolve

Life Was like a prism;

what you saw depended on

how you turned the glass.

Jonathan Kellerman

A COLD HEART

In the passing years, I have learned to look at life a little differently.  There was a time when I would be moved to tears by headlines or feel threatened by random acts of violence spread across televisions.  My emotions would run rampant with thoughts of how to fix the world in spite of the fear in my belly.

Then somewhere along the way, I realized people only changed when they wanted to change and personally, I could do very little.  Reality preached I was the  only person I could change.  Fighting ego's shouts of selfishness, I focused on my own behaviors and how they were mirrored in the world around me.  I detached from the expectations of the outside world, and began a journey within to meet the true essence, my soul.

Once we learn to love and accept our selves, (flaws, imperfections and weaknesses)   we begin building a self-value or a confidence in what we are truly capable of doing ... creatively, constructively, and passionately.  So when we turn the prism and begin to see life a little differently, we are no longer entrenched in fear, violence, and helplessness.  We find our selves with hope and positive inspiration impacting those around us.

When we are running on positive energy, others around us are attracted to this vibration.  It is not heavy nor restrictive.  It is light and vibrant pulling us into positive motion.

It somewhat seems that peace begins within us and we can only create that through self-exploration and discovery.  Will world peace come one man/woman at a time? If so, we must be patient while human beings learn to evolve.

Time Being Spent in Nashville, Tennessee

“It’s funny how certain cities get under your skin. I’ve been around, but there’s something captivating about Nashville, Tennessee – a ‘crazy town’, as locals call it, bursting with culture, history and Southern charm (the kind of charm that prompts locals – easily the friendliest people I’ve ever encountered.”

-Brisbane News




A few days ago, I made the 6 hour journey to Nashville, Tennessee.  It is a beautiful drive and a drive I have been taking for over 10 years.  The solitude in my car suits me as I soak up all of  nature,  watching the landscape change the farther south I travel.  From north to south, all of the little towns dotting the interstates have become familiar to me.  I know exactly which exits offer what and where the gas is cheapest. 

Navigation in Nashville is rather easy once one gets the lay of the land.  I can travel most anywhere I want, and believe me, there are plenty of things to do and see.  Scarlett Begonia is my favorite shop, Centennial Park hosting endless art festivals, Nashville Zoo, Nashville Library Downtown, Hillsboro Village, Ann Padgett's Book Store, Music City, Green Hills and Cool Springs Malls, Lake Radner, beautiful parks, and delicious eateries.

My most favorite place in all of Nashville, however, is my daughter's home.  It doesn't matter which season I visit, the highlight will be my time with her.  I feel very nurtured in her space which also houses Hannah the wonder Golden Retriever and Trudy the temperamental Tuxedo Cat.  We can be content just 'being' with each other either reading or sharing in front of her fireplace or out on the covered patio.  We always manage to take plenty of walks and to visit with her friends both new and old.

This precious time between mother and daughter always moves too swiftly.  We are both good listeners so our shared stories, accented with laughter, tears, and lessons, continue to bind us tightly together.   Being with her lifts my spirit and soul.  She reminds me of who I am, what all I have accomplished, and new ways to share my gifts and talents with others.  She awakens my sleeping positive attributes and hushes my critical ego.  By the time I leave, I will be cocooned in an emotional gauze of hugs and kisses, fully prepared to once again face the world.

Symbols are vitally important to me.  My daughter symbolizes life itself with her compassion, endurance, courage, intelligence, and service.  Her inner beauty matches her physical appearance and her worst enemy is her critical ego. 

Oh, if we could only see our selves as Divine Spirit intended ... focusing on our positives, using our gifts and talents with equal love for others as well as for our selves!  

Governed by the Soul

                                               

Many people have taken in the message that our souls are some mystical ‘thing’ that is important but separate from our physical selves and daily lives, when the reality is quite different. Our souls give us life and make us unique. Our bodies, our emotions, our intellect are all manifestations of our soul in relationship with the world around us and all other things. We are in an ongoing conversation with ‘all that is’ and this is reflected in how we live in the world.    Teri Uktena





Each and every one of us is an unique human being creating a life with our very own soul.  We have individual gifts and talents to be used in manifesting this life.  It is not about competition, duplication, and winning, but rather about achieving our authentic personal goals.  What we bring into this world is a piece of life's puzzle required to make the world complete.

Through our discoveries and our kindness towards others, we can advance life for everyone.   By joining our efforts with like minded people we can pave a wider road for others to prosper.    We do not take from others, but share.  We do not use force or control but rather encouragement and teaching.  We must live by example for our selves and for others. 

Through inner promptings from our soul we experience and orchestrate all we need to know.   We must listen to the input of others in sharing wisdom, but our inner voice, our soul, must be heard as well.   Others will be different as human beings are diverse, but this doesn't make them wrong.  They just have an alternative way of following their own soul.

We must always remain aware of how we impact others and how our efforts impact the community rippling out into the world.  There is no need to live in isolation, as interaction with others teaches us lessons we need to know.  Living in isolation does not help the self and robs the world of unique gifts intended to be shared. 

Let us each be an artist filling our blank canvas with the energy we hold within.  Then we can use our masterpieces of life to be joined with others like mosaic tiles. Let us build a beautiful world where we can all live peacefully together.

Allowing Truth to Rise Within





                                                     “You can't stop the future
                                                      You can't rewind the past
                                                  The only way to learn the secret
                                                          ...is to press play.”

                                                                Jay Asher
                                                  THIRTEEN REASONS WHY

 

 

 

It is as though someone has drained all color from the world and only black and white remains.  Instead of walking through soft sand, I am wandering through snow.  The floating butterflies are gone, replaced by hungry backyard winter birds.  The lovely outdoor gardens for dinning have disappeared along with all of the fresh fish.  So I guess I need to push play and get on with my life.

 

Perhaps I am simply stalling, knowing that responsibilities and obligations await.    I need to be gentle with my self as I transition back into place.  It takes more courage to be authentic at home than it did in the midst of strangers.  My thoughts need to focus on what feels true and release the interfering thoughts of fear. 

 

My intention is "to let truth as I know it rise within" just as Mark Nepo suggests.  He also advises even when we do not yet understand all that is our truth, we need to let it fill us.     As time passes, segments will come together  forming a complete piece.  Until I have full understanding of what I have experienced during my last adventure, I will remain open for understanding  or to be taught otherwise.   

 

Life can be compared to a dream in that during the first glance, we can form opinions, but as we look more deeply we can find layers of symbols and  hidden wisdom.  Like a dream, life frequently is not at all as it first appeared.  Understanding unfolds with time and patience encouraging us to experience it slowly and fully.  If for whatever reason we do not comprehend the initial experience, like a dream, it will recur until we learn the necessary truth.

 

It comes down to how much time  we want to invest in understanding our own lives.  Do we want the Cliff Notes or the enhanced version?  Are we always going to take the express lanes or will we route our experiences partially upon country roads?  Will we speed dial or slowly enter individual numbers? 

 

We will discover the need to pace our selves through life or life has a way of slowing us down.  All we have is the present moment  so we must expand each moment to the fullest even if just while we are standing still.

In Search of Friendship

“There is within each one of us a potential for goodness beyond our imagining; for giving which seeks no reward; for listening without judgment; for loving unconditionally.”
Elisabeth Kubler~Ross



While creating friendships, we would be seeking qualities and characteristics reflecting loyalty; ability to embrace diversity while maintaining authenticity;  truthfulness with respect; and an eagerness to encourage  or support.    We would be drawn to a person based on their integrity and not by layers of accumulated masks.  We would hope for a sense of connection  or potential for discovery of a kindred spirit.

What we frequently seek in friendship is what Divine Spirit has always extended or provided to us.  Divine Spirit loves all of us unconditionally without judgment and offering us nothing but goodness.  It is difficult to embrace what we cannot see, but the spiritual rewards are overwhelming. 

When we experience a friendship with deep meaning or personal value, we are experiencing the mutual goodness of each other.  It is not always at the same time as we take turns helping one and other.   The friendship grows and it is as though Divine Spirit works through each of us bringing joy, happiness, and compassion for each other. 

In any friendships balance is necessary for healthy growth.  We yearn for goodness to be extended, to be able to use our voice without feeling judged and to feel unconditionally accepted;  but we must offer these things in return as well. 

There is an old saying  "If you want to have a good friend, you must be a good friend."  Offer to others what we most want for our selves and share authentic gifts.  What strength we have may be an area the other wishes to learn.  Sharing is very important while listening is vital. 

When we open our hearts to each other, Divine Spirit flows through us.  There is great unexpected reward when we exercise our potential for goodness.  Not all friendships are sustained, but it is a blessing to know we have offered our very best. 

Allow the Self to Cry

"There is a sacredness in tears.  They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.  They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.  They are messengers of overwhelming grief ... and unspeakable love."     Washington Irving

There are times I just want to pull down the shades and close out the world.  I desire to be silent in the silence surrounding me.  I attempt to be in each present moment, suspended from thought, word, and deed.  To be perfectly still within the stillness.

During these private moments, tears  run down my puffy cheeks and I taste grief upon my lips. These tears are the first sign to me that I have unresolved sadness attempting to escape.  Frequently, when words hurt me to the core, I quickly hide them inside for viewing in a more protected place.  It is not until time has passed and I am feeling safe that I allow the tears to streak down my face.

The allowed distance gives me time to generate forgiveness and grace.  This lapse in time offers a better perspective and healing of the space.  There is time given to remember who I truly am without  outside validation, status or place.

No one need ever be ashamed of tears for they are cleansing agents of the soul.  They are loving reminders of the deep caring inside and our ability to survive.     Sometimes, it takes great strength, not weakness, to allow the self to cry.

Articulating on a Blank Page



Every secret of a writer's soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind is written large in his works.

         Virginia Woolf (1882-1941)

The travel from Key West went smoothly and safely all of the way to our doorstep.  With thankful and grateful hearts, it was good to deeply breathe in the unforgettable fragrances of home.  There was great comfort in sleeping in our own beds with our familiar pillows and linens. 

When I made my coffee this morning, I was delighted to find a male cardinal showing it self off in the layer of snow freshly fallen upon the ground.  His amazing red image was heightened by the white of the snow and his singing of a song.  Smaller birds were gathered in the bush as if to personally welcome me home.

Today I will have to unpack, do laundry, and then re-pack as I will leave shortly for Nashville, Tennessee.  I had committed to spending spring break with my daughter not realizing how closely it fell to our arrival home.  I do look forward to the long drive as it is always undisturbed thinking time while the beauty of nature appears at every glance.  A visit with my daughter ... well, that is like getting a whole body healing.  Nothing delights me more to feel her love, interest, touch, and quiet times we have always shared over the years.

As I transition today, I am physically accomplishing things needing to be done, but there are words bulging inside of me.  There are thoughts and theories needing to flow onto paper allowing creative release.  I recognize there are some words never meant to be spoken, but only to be squandered upon a waiting blank page.

Recognizing Parts of Self

I feel like I've never had a home. You know? I feel related to the country, to this country, and yet I don't know exactly where I fit in. And the same thing applies to the theater. I don't know exactly how well I fit into the scheme of things. Maybe that's good, you know, that I'm not in a niche. But there's always this kind of nostalgia for a place, a place where you can reckon with yourself. Now I've found that what's most valuable about that place is not the place itself but the other people; that through other people you can find a recognition of each other. I think that's where the real home is.

SAM SHEPARD               

There were two observations shared with me by two different friends over 30 years ago.  Both assessments were mentioned in a positive way.  For some reason, both statements remained affirmations helping me to be aware of the importance of perceptions.

Each and every one of us are multi-faceted, but rarely pay attention to the small things, the little things making our personality or character unique.  Some of our strengths we take for granted, being so used to having them we falsely assume others have the same abilities when in reality they do not.  They have their own strengths and their own weaknesses.

Although these two statements were made by people unknown to each other  during two different stages of my life, the comments support each other and have helped me be more gentle with my self.  The descriptions of my self allowed me to re-frame what I had considered to be negative aspects and turn them into positive qualities.

I grew up in a large city, attended a small town college and then lived in several different states, traveling around more than the average woman.  It was unsettling to me to hear acquaintances mention how they had never moved from the the location of their birth home or lived in the same area their entire lives.  For whatever reason, these comments always made me feel some what like a transient or lesser than even though each of my travels were made deliberately for personal or professional reasons.  A dear friend made reference to me saying, "I think you have some gypsy blood in you allowing your self the courage to travel into the unknown."  It was said in a very supportive and positive way.  It gave me food for thought.

A few years later, during a private conversation with a trusted friend, the second statement was made.  This is what was said: "I admire you, watching you move from one situation to the next and always adjusting your self to those around you.  You some how make your self comfortable no matter where you go or who you are with."  These words offered me a positive reflection of my self that frequently assisted me in traveling through my gypsy life.

Now in my later years, I do a lot of traveling and it is true, I adjust well with strangers and I have a lust for visiting diverse places.  I no longer see this as good or bad.  I embrace these qualities as a part of who I am.  Applying  this awareness has helped me to remain comfortable in my own skin.

                                  

Returning Home

 

 

 

 

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.” 

 

Edith Sitwell

 

 

 

Staying in Key West for over a month has been a wonderful blessing.  I am most grateful and thankful to be able to have enjoyed this opportunity especially with Russ.  We have visited an old cemetery,  historical fort, gardens and homes, the gulf, the ocean, Red Barn Theater, Waterfront Theater, intimate garden concert, art show, art festival,  shrimp boats, wharf, cruise ships, and a spectacular evening celebrating Russ's birthday on an island arriving by ferry.  We have haunted most every neighborhood restaurant eating in beautiful gardens.  We have walked extensively every morning, afternoon, and evening.  I am stuffed with fresh fish, lobster and shrimp to say nothing of the homemade ice cream at Flamingo Crossing.  My skin is so soft and once again has some color.  It has been a joy to spend every day out doors surrounding by the abundance of richly colored nature, and the dipping pool in the back yard.

 

 

It is time to go home, however, and I must admit I am prepared.  I am anxious to return to my own surroundings where I can find familiar books, writings, and favorite coffee cup.  I will get the fireplace started and apologize to my plants.  I will reach out to my favorite coffee 'sister' as well as my women's group and writers group.  I have missed all of these tender hearts as they so generously support and encourage me.

 

 

With loads of laundry piled high, I will put away my summer linen and return to my closet to rediscover my winter garbs.  From flip flops to boots, from linen tops and shorts to sweaters and leggings.  I will nest in front of the warm fire in my favorite sweats and baggy thermal shirt.

 

 

I will find time to journal about the holes I have found in my spiritual wardrobe, and begin requests for additional help in mending my ways.  It is curious to me when we grow spiritually stronger, it allows us to see more areas of personal repair. My father used to use an old Swedish saying, "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get!"

 

 

Fare thee wells will be extended to our friends and paradise will be imprinted upon my memories.   I will stay present in the moment, letting go of this abundance, making room for what will next unfold.  As one adventure ends, a new journey begins.

 



"I see the moon and the moon sees me."

 

 

 

The moon is a loyal companion.
It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human.
Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.

 

Tahereh Mafi

SHATTER ME

 

 

 

Last night when I went to bed, I looked up through the sky light and I saw the moon.  It was half hidden by moving tree branches, but  the beams streamed down brightly lighting our room.  I moved to the center of the bed framing the full moon in the sky light frame. 

 

 

Astrologically, I am a "Moon Child" (Cancer) and I will admit I fell in love with the moon as a young child.  The moon has always been there for me whether I see it or not.  I simply glance up to the sky and I sense it is there listening to me. 

 

 

Lying in my bed, I keep repositioning myself to stay covered by moonbeams as the moon gently glides across the sky.  This old friend of mine has heard me beg, bargain, and cry.  I have witnessed its passage across the dark sky more times than I can count.  I reposition myself again, as the full moon continues on its path and soon will be out of my sight.

 

 

We will be flying back to Illinois, leaving this paradise.  We will be returning to the possibility of  ice and snow.   There will not be vibrant flowers to greet us, nor will there be swaying palm trees, the ocean or the gulf.  The fishing boats and yachts will all be left behind.  The outdoor eateries and diversity of mankind, absent.  Art galleries, street artists and art festivals will all carry on without us.  There is a sense of loss within me, but it is balanced by the hope of another time to return.  This is not goodbye.

 

 

Upon returning home, I will be joyful to once again find the moon waiting to reflect all parts of my self ... the rotation  of full radiance, shadows, darkness, and cycles of on going change, never the same.   The moon is a comforting constant in my life, no matter where I go. 

 

 

This  is a perfect way for my last night's stay in Key West ...  communing with the full moon.  For me, the moon is a promise of tomorrow and the beholder of my gratitude and thanksgiving.  It is never really clear to me if I am witnessing the moon or if the moon is witnessing me, but we seem to be present. for each other.  "I see the moon and the moon sees me."