Mothers and Children

"Our initial connection to life comes solely through the mother.  She is the one who provides assurance of survival --- or not.  She is the one who transmits and confers our most basic right to be loved and to give love --- or not. 

Mother could only love, approve of, and appreciate me to the degree that she could love, approve of, and appreciate herself.  She was not capable of that because  she did not love the feminine part or herself."

Deborah King

TRUTH HEALS

We are not always loved in the manner in which we would like.  Sometimes we have to embrace how love is offered to us, as long as it is healthy.  Hopefully we will understand in time, the lack of love is not a judgment of our selves, but the inability  of the giver.   Not all of us have had inspirational female role models and not all of us have had children of our own.  The mother - child relationship, however, can be duplicated in a number of healthy ways.

In some instances, a grandmother or favorite aunt may step in offering unconditional love.  There may be a teacher who takes a special interest in us and encourages us in a personal way.  As we grow older, we become more aware of accomplished women who can inspire us.  Role models are prolific ... professors, doctors, authors, poets, painters, actresses, dancers, and singers.  In researching such role models, we learn most people have had enormous struggles to get where they have finally arrived --- or not.

"I don't remember who said this, but there really are places in the heart you don't even know exist until you love a child.”  This is a quote from Anne Lamott.  It is a misconception to believe only mothers can love their children.  Anyone can love a child, and love them deeply.  There are teachers, mentors, and professionals who love children with a passion to instill self-worth, healing and personal integrity. 

If you have not had a child of your own, you can do more with your energy than trying to fill this void.  There are so many children in our neighborhoods, schools, and families needing attention.  Volunteers are needed in schools, hospitals, and non-profit organizations like Big Sister Programs.  These kinds of relationships can fill our hearts if we allow it to happen --- or not.

So on this Mother's Day, I honor all of you who have given so generously from your heart.  It doesn't matter if you have been a grandmother, aunt, teacher, volunteer, professional or neighborhood mom, I honor the graciousness of your kind deeds.  I also honor all of the children who allowed themselves to heal through the experience of love.

Endless gratitude for compassionate love shared with children no matter their religion, color, or creed.  Equally, deep appreciation is extended to the children who have loved back in return by embracing an elder of any means.  Today we can celebrate the love for each other and the healing compassion unfolding in our hearts.

In Search of Friendship

“There is within each one of us a potential for goodness beyond our imagining; for giving which seeks no reward; for listening without judgment; for loving unconditionally.”
Elisabeth Kubler~Ross



While creating friendships, we would be seeking qualities and characteristics reflecting loyalty; ability to embrace diversity while maintaining authenticity;  truthfulness with respect; and an eagerness to encourage  or support.    We would be drawn to a person based on their integrity and not by layers of accumulated masks.  We would hope for a sense of connection  or potential for discovery of a kindred spirit.

What we frequently seek in friendship is what Divine Spirit has always extended or provided to us.  Divine Spirit loves all of us unconditionally without judgment and offering us nothing but goodness.  It is difficult to embrace what we cannot see, but the spiritual rewards are overwhelming. 

When we experience a friendship with deep meaning or personal value, we are experiencing the mutual goodness of each other.  It is not always at the same time as we take turns helping one and other.   The friendship grows and it is as though Divine Spirit works through each of us bringing joy, happiness, and compassion for each other. 

In any friendships balance is necessary for healthy growth.  We yearn for goodness to be extended, to be able to use our voice without feeling judged and to feel unconditionally accepted;  but we must offer these things in return as well. 

There is an old saying  "If you want to have a good friend, you must be a good friend."  Offer to others what we most want for our selves and share authentic gifts.  What strength we have may be an area the other wishes to learn.  Sharing is very important while listening is vital. 

When we open our hearts to each other, Divine Spirit flows through us.  There is great unexpected reward when we exercise our potential for goodness.  Not all friendships are sustained, but it is a blessing to know we have offered our very best.