Learning from Distractions

"When a lot of things start going wrong all at once,

it is to protect something big and lovely

that is trying to get itself born ~~~

and that this something needs for you to be distracted

so that it can be born as perfectly as possible."

Anne Lamott

Anne Lamott is no stranger to me.  She is an author of several books reflecting unique concepts.  My daughter sent me this quote of Anne Lamott, and since I was not familiar with it, I have found myself sitting with it ... incubating.  I have thought of the struggle and the fate of the caterpillar resulting in the birthing of a beautiful butterfly.  I have recalled bouts with chaos suddenly resulting in a sense of peaceful order.

It would seem we personally stand too close to a situation and only see what lays before us.  It is necessary to view an occurrence from farther away so we can embrace the entire scene.  There is an old story about an elephant being described by various animals.  One small animal is at the tale reporting an elephant is like a long rope.  Another animal standing at the elephant's side says it is a never ending expansion of width.  The last animal viewing the elephant's trunk reports a very long tunnel, but somewhat like a hose.  Well, we get the drift.

The meaning of our lives is translated through perspectives and unfortunately, they are not always accurate.  The most challenging times of our existence are usually when we have received or learned very vital lessons.  The chaos distracts us especially if we are totally focused on manipulating rather than observing. 

We all have opportunities to shed our skins, to be reborn, or start anew.  Our malfunctioning in given areas eventually blends into the fibers of our worth.  We learn from both sides of the coin, and that is  frequently the key ... learning from distractions.

Mothers and Children

"Our initial connection to life comes solely through the mother.  She is the one who provides assurance of survival --- or not.  She is the one who transmits and confers our most basic right to be loved and to give love --- or not. 

Mother could only love, approve of, and appreciate me to the degree that she could love, approve of, and appreciate herself.  She was not capable of that because  she did not love the feminine part or herself."

Deborah King

TRUTH HEALS

We are not always loved in the manner in which we would like.  Sometimes we have to embrace how love is offered to us, as long as it is healthy.  Hopefully we will understand in time, the lack of love is not a judgment of our selves, but the inability  of the giver.   Not all of us have had inspirational female role models and not all of us have had children of our own.  The mother - child relationship, however, can be duplicated in a number of healthy ways.

In some instances, a grandmother or favorite aunt may step in offering unconditional love.  There may be a teacher who takes a special interest in us and encourages us in a personal way.  As we grow older, we become more aware of accomplished women who can inspire us.  Role models are prolific ... professors, doctors, authors, poets, painters, actresses, dancers, and singers.  In researching such role models, we learn most people have had enormous struggles to get where they have finally arrived --- or not.

"I don't remember who said this, but there really are places in the heart you don't even know exist until you love a child.”  This is a quote from Anne Lamott.  It is a misconception to believe only mothers can love their children.  Anyone can love a child, and love them deeply.  There are teachers, mentors, and professionals who love children with a passion to instill self-worth, healing and personal integrity. 

If you have not had a child of your own, you can do more with your energy than trying to fill this void.  There are so many children in our neighborhoods, schools, and families needing attention.  Volunteers are needed in schools, hospitals, and non-profit organizations like Big Sister Programs.  These kinds of relationships can fill our hearts if we allow it to happen --- or not.

So on this Mother's Day, I honor all of you who have given so generously from your heart.  It doesn't matter if you have been a grandmother, aunt, teacher, volunteer, professional or neighborhood mom, I honor the graciousness of your kind deeds.  I also honor all of the children who allowed themselves to heal through the experience of love.

Endless gratitude for compassionate love shared with children no matter their religion, color, or creed.  Equally, deep appreciation is extended to the children who have loved back in return by embracing an elder of any means.  Today we can celebrate the love for each other and the healing compassion unfolding in our hearts.

Hope Begins in the Dark

Hope begins in the dark,

the stubborn hope that if you

just show up

and try to do the right thing,

the dawn will come.

Anne Lamott

To be industrious throughout the day, keeps fear at bay.  Oh yes, I relax and play, but all things can be a distraction. 

It is at night, when my mind needs to be a blank slate for dreams to be drawn upon, little creatures dressed in doubt, apprehension and misgiving promenade across my mind with lurid details.  It is at this very time I must quiet my ego, in order for the blanket of silence to stretch out in preparation to gently break the fall of the wisdom descending from the stars.

It is in this quiet darkness just prior to sleep where hope begins to melt into my heart.  Like a magical elixir, hopefulness flows into me bringing calm, faith and trust.

With anticipation, I fall asleep with the promise of dawn.  A new day and a new beginning forthcoming!  I will forego all attempts to do things just right and allow myself to be led by this dawn's early light.