"The need to clarify, explain, or justify oneself in personal relationships is always self-serving.
What's important, is knowing the truth about why you felt the need, because it often points to insecurities that could be dealt with in more effective ways." THE UNIVERSE
We all have defense mechanisms, so the focus settles on why and when we use them. Words spoken should be our truths with the ability to stand alone without unnecessary follow up. As humans, we have insecurities and when challenged, we use additional rhetoric to defend our statements.
We all do this and there is no shame. We can create a healthier habit, however, by boosting perception of ourselves. When we choose to express values or thoughts, remember everyone is entitled to their own opinion. If we speak our truth, we will either reinforce our belief or we will be challenged to open ourselves to a broader scope.
We feel an impulse to fill the air with words when we are feeling the need to convince someone. Make a statement and let it stand on its own. If we remain quiet and listen, we discover no words are needed at all. The connection to our inner spirit needs to be stronger than our projected relationship to another person.
Learn to state a truth and allow it to represent itself. A simple example is using the word 'no'. At first it is difficult to say no without a paragraph of reasons defending our decision. With practice, we begin to decline with grace without further explanation. Eventually, we will not even use the word 'no' as we will not as easily engage in things we honestly do not want to do. (Meaning, do not say 'yes' in the beginning!)
Every person has an opinion and although we may or may not agree, respect should be offered to both sides. When we are comfortable with our own thoughts, we are more likely to be open to the opinions of others. We are not required to condone or support, but to simply listen. We can agree to disagree.
Choose to detach from your self in a given situation whether it is a personal exchange or at work. Pretend to be sitting on your own shoulder and observe who it is who challenges you. It is easily determined when we listen to how we exchange words with others. When do we get really wordy? Who is it we speak directly to focusing on subject without giving a pitch? Our insides warn us as well ... discomfort in belly, mind scatter, impulsive decision making, and straying from the facts.
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