"It's only when you resist looking at something
because it frightens you that it becomes frightening."
Eckhart Tolle
We adjust our eye site to regulate what we can emotionally handle. It seems easier to ignore the poor behavior of our child or overlook the insensitivity of our mate. Our altered vision reduces the amount we choose to see. We minimize what is right before us so we can avoid confrontation.
We already may not feel like we have voice or any sense of control, so we might feel defeated before addressing any problem. We are more willing to take additional embarrassment or emotional pain rather than dig beneath the surface exposing the origin of the problem.
Once uncovered, our problems require even more strength which tempts us to remain in denial. We lie to ourselves and to others. Anger churns in our bellies, we lash out at innocent ones, and we withdraw further into avoidance. We begin to tell ourselves we are the root of the problem as this seems emotionally more acceptable than believing we are not being respected. We form stories around our problems to justify the actions of others.
There comes a point in time we can no longer carry this burden of pain. Our deteriorating emotional state gives way to physical health issues. We may become so depressed, we are no longer capable of functioning.
The question is, how would life be different if we took all of the energy used with denial or avoidance, and used it to face a problem head on? A frightening thought, but a healthier response leading to some level of resolution. At least we would have a sense of self-respect for using our voice and for speaking out.
Begin with smaller battles and work up to addressing life changing issues. Reach out to local resources or trusted friends. Actually, it is not a weakness to ask for help. It is the beginning of developing incredible strength.
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