Called To Be Present

"Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”

Ann Landers

There are times we find our selves in an awkward position with a family member, neighbor, friend or co-worker, as they seek help with a particular problem.   We feel the need to supply them with helpful information to 'fix' whatever the problem may be.  If we cannot supply an immediate solution, we may take on their stress as well.

For some of us, it is easy to fall into the caretaker role and feel the need to fix others.  It is one thing to share knowledge and to be compassionate, and quite another to become overly involved in some one's  personal challenges.

Gary Zukav's most recent book, SPIRITUAL PARTNERSHIP discusses how to make all of our communications and actions conscious and loving.  He suggests to first consult our intuition.  Check in with our selves to touch base with our most honest feelings.  Then be certain of our intention prior to speaking out.  Are we wanting to judge, gossip, or blame the person or do we sincerely care to respond. 

Take the time to explore our own wisdom.  Give sincere thought to what information resonates in compliance with our truths.  Our intuition coupled with appropriate intention will allow us to speak clearly from our higher self without focusing on an immediate quick fix. 

It is important to respond with "I" statements as the information being shared is what resonates within our own selves.  We want to share what is our own truth without giving direction or solution.  The other person who is listening, needs to gather such information and then decide what is for his or her own good.

We can display support without specific intervention.  We are called to be present, but not necessarily to be invested in the outcome.  We do not need to be attached to the other person's process.  This does not mean we do not have compassion. 

Out of My Grasp

Arrange whatever pieces come your way.

Virginia Woolf

This morning I explored highlighted sections in several of my books.  I had not remained with one theme, rather reading anything and everything.  The results had been overwhelming.  There were so many fragments, each exploded in my mind, and demanded more attention.  So instead of streamlining into one flowing thought, I had been bombarded by every worldly thought.  I knew the best way for me to simplify would be to retreat into the stillness of outdoors.

I settled my lovely self out on the back deck.  I breathed in the crisp spring air while I wished for sunshine on my face and hair.  The birds chirped, the rabbit ran away, and the squirrel dared me to stay.  As I watched the clouds as they floated by, I was reminded of Shirley MacLaine's suggested experiment with clouds.  She instructed the reader to choose one cloud out of the sky and to keep eyes locked upon that one cloud.  Permission would be asked of the cloud for it to disappear.  With maintained eye contact the cloud would slowly dissipate. 

When I first read of this experiment, I grew very uncomfortable thinking I might have the power to ask a cloud to disappear.  Besides, clouds had been my childhood friends, so why would I want them to go away?  Curiosity got the best of me, however, so I chose a very small cloud and asked if it would disappear.  I eye-balled it with great intensity, and sure enough, it began to stretch its shape until nothing was there.  It made me feel sad.  It didn't feel right for me to make a game of something so lovely in the sky.

Somewhere in my thoughts, wisdom surely waited.  Unfortunately, it was either too worldly or lofty to be grasped.  I watched the clouds as they gently floated by, unable to formulate words, but I sensed deep within there was so much more to oneness than what really meets the eye.

Eye to Eye

The tyrant always talks as if he's preserving the best interests of his people

when he actually acts to undermine them.

Ramman Kenoun

We learn to navigate through human existence via relationships.  Relationships teach us about others as well as about our selves.  Sometimes we are the teacher while other times we are the student.  Either way, we come in contact with those we can trust and those we would have been better off not trusting.  There are lessons in both.

To have a mentor or teacher in our lives is a wonderful experience.  A true leader will encourage us to listen to all wisdom, and to develop a sense of what is true or not true for our selves.  An honest teacher will encourage us to discover our own personal gifts. 

Unfortunately, there are those who sit on their self-imposed pedestal, expecting followers to do just that ... to follow ... not to discover spiritual independence.  My most honorable Reiki Master asked me one time if I knew the definition of the word guru.  I stumbled along trying to use words of wisdom when he laughed.  He said the word guru stood for "gee, you are you!"  He was reminding me we were all equals and we each had something special to teach.    He was the most humble man I have ever personally known. 

So I am suggesting we  honor our own wisdom and never hesitate to question our selves or others.  A true mentor embraces our seeking to help us find our way, and not the mentor's way.  Resources are invaluable, but it is necessary to sit with the information deciding what is true for our selves.  We absorb what resonates for our selves and respectfully leave the rest.

If we find our selves in a situation where some one is restricting our search or limiting our beliefs, we must ask our selves why this could be so.  An excellent question is:  "Is this in my highest 

interest?"  It is discouraging to discover we are being manipulated when we have been open and trusting.  Unfortunately, this sometimes happens.  It is an opportunity to remind our selves to respect our own  insights and to maintain our boundaries. 

I have had the pleasure of experiencing diversified teachers and  I have enjoyed being in the presence of them all.  I must say, however, my favorite ones are not those I had to 'look up to' but rather those who sat with me eye to eye.

Selecting Guidance

No one can make you feel inferior

without your consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt

THIS IS MY STORY

There are people in our lives who play significant roles.  Some have been with us all of our lives while others may be time-worn friends.   In addition to  new friends and  there are folks we meet while traveling, shopping, conferences or waiting stations.  Whether having life residency or merely passing through, people can hold  power over us whether we acknowledge it or not.

If we are not confident in our selves, the words of others may hold more significance than our own.   The words of strangers may offend us or cause us to second guess our selves.  It is difficult to keep moving forward if we consistently get side tracked by the opinions of others.

Then there is Divine Guidance appearing in dreams, prayers, conversations, books, movies, and spiritual advisers.  We can receive guidance just walking in nature or contemplation or washing dishes.  Ideas can come out of 'no where' while we are physically active doing something totally unrelated. 

As human beings we frequently are amused by the words of spiritual enlightenment, but sigh as we return to our daily lives.  As human beings we frequently obsess over words of significant others, especially if they were critical or unkind whether meant or innocently spoken.  If we are truly aware of our heart's desire, we will know which conversations need to be pursued.

It is important to discern what information is in our best interest and that which is not.  We can learn from any opinion, but we need to decide if the opinion fits our situation.  Guidance needs to be in our best interest, but not at the cost of others.  The information is healthy when we can feel it resonate within and our mind immediately takes hold and moves forward into successful supporting ideas.

If someone is directing us to minimize who we are or attempts to control us through power, this is not guidance, but tyranny.  Respect is offered to our superiors, but we maintain our personal code of ethics.  Divine Guidance will never instruct nor suggest we harm our selves or others.

When in question, it is always good to consider these  suggestions: 

*Seek out a trusted mentor and share the information, really listening to a new perspective. 

*Sit with the information just like it were incubating. 

*Experience what it feels like at night or the next day. 

*Form an idea as to how this information will impact life years from now. 

*Avoid impulsive decisions.

*Discern if this wisdom is aligned with the highest good.

Divine Guidance offers us courage, hope, and the desire to be better.  Tyranny keeps us in line through negative and demeaning control.  Divine Guidance offers us opportunities to thrive and become connected with our talents and life purpose.  Tyranny has a selfish motivation in keeping us working while dissipating any sense of our personal self.  We must choose our guidance accordingly.

 

Which Side Are We On

“There was a wall. It did not look important. It was built of uncut rocks roughly mortared. An adult could look right over it, and even a child could climb it. Where it crossed the roadway, instead of having a gate it degenerated into mere geometry, a line, an idea of boundary. But the idea was real. It was important. For seven generations there had been nothing in the world more important than that wall.  Like all walls it was ambiguous, two-faced. What was inside it and what was outside it depended upon which side of it you were on.”

Ursula K. Le Guin

Limits are good for us when we refer to any possible addictive behaviors like spending, drinking, eating, gambling or sex.  Things can be good for us until we ignore the limitations we established for our selves.  This is also true with boundaries.  Creating boundaries are vitally important to our physical and mental health.  When we do not respect our boundaries we allow others to take advantage of us.

 

There is another side to limitations and boundaries which we can explore.  If we allow our selves to stand outside of limitations and boundaries looking back in, we can discover areas where we can change and grow.  Our limitations may be self-imposed or  too restrictive.  We may not be allowing enough time for an outing with a friend or recognition for a job well done.    Our boundaries may need to be expanded to run the risk of a career change or a new relationship. 

 

There are so many ways to adjust our lives for the better when we remain conscious about our own behaviors.  With an open mind we can look at a healthier balance between light and dark;  inside and outside; work and play; body, mind, and spirit; exercise and sleep; and private and social time.  Any extreme either too much or too little can be well intended, but harmful.  An accurate assessment is dependent upon which side we are standing on.  We must look one way, and then from an other to create a well rounded conclusion.

Function of Power

  

“All things are subject to interpretation.

Whichever interpretation prevails

at a given time is a function

of power and not truth.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

 

There are two stories I would like to share.  One is about coal miners and the other is about a railroad worker.  Both stories reflect how personal perceptions frame our reality.

Several years ago, there were five coal miners trapped beneath rubble from a mine explosion.  There was no way for the men to get themselves out, but they knew men would be working from the outside to rescue them.  Each of these men had worked the mine for years, and they knew they had very restricted time before there would not be enough oxygen for them to breathe in order to survive.  One man passed early from injuries received during the explosion.  Of the remaining four, only one wore a watch.  He knew the men needed to be encouraged to breathe slowly and to remain calm as they were all aware of time slipping by.  The man with the watch began giving inaccurate time.  He lengthened the time between intervals giving the other men hope of survival.  He assured the men time was passing more slowly as they had nothing to distract themselves.  He continued to expand the time between his reports while they all waited for the rescue team.  When the men were actually rescued three out of five men had survived.  The injured man had died early on and the other man to die was the man with the watch who knew they had run out of time.  The other three had continued to believe in the inaccurate time.  In their perception, survival time had not yet expired and so they lived.

As a young man, he loved to listen to trains fly through his little town.  At night he would listen to the clacking of steel upon steel and the shifting of the old freight cars in rhythm with the speed of the train.  The man left his small town and was relieved to be hired by the railroad.  He was hired to go down the long line of box cars to clean and inspect them.  He worked alone and loved the freedom of setting his own pace.  He was almost finished with the refrigeration car when he realized he had inadvertently locked himself in.  His perception was no one would ever hear him outside of the padded box car and  no one would check on him as he worked alone.  He sank down in the corner of the car wondering how he could keep himself warm while deep inside he knew he would never survive.  Inside a refrigerated car there were three stages ... cool, freeze, frozen and he already began to feel the freezing  cold.  He wondered how long he would be able to tolerate the dropping temperatures.  When the man was later found dead in the box car, he was rolled into a ball as though trying to keep himself warm.  It was also discovered that the box car had not been appropriately connected, so the refrigeration never began the cool, freeze, frozen process.  The only thing cooling the car was the outside night air.

These stories help us to remember that our perceptions are not necessarily truth.  Our perceptions power us to move in the direction we expect to go.  If we get up of a morning and say, "This is going to be a horrible day."  It will be just as we predicted.  We must leave our minds open to entertain various perceptions and gravitate towards the ones that are positive and hopeful.

In Spite of Limitations

        

        

The purpose of life is for the individual

to become greater than

the definitions he has inherited.

James Baldwin

When one of my sons was around four years old, I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up.  His face exploded with excitement and without any hesitation blurted out, "A fire truck!" My first thought was to correct him and say, "Oh, you mean a fire man," but I could tell he very well meant truck.  I begged him to expand and he reflected both amazement and longing to be such a shining red flash of fast.  He mentioned the really huge ladders, long hoses, the screaming siren and flashing lights.   Friends got to climb on in their suits  and even sometimes there was a spotted dog when in a parade.  Indeed, he wanted to be a fire truck.

Over the years whether during parenting or professionally in social services, I have had the opportunity to be confided in with the segue, "You know what I would really like to do?"  My experience with my youngest son had taught me to be an enthusiastic listener and not to blow holes in someone else's dreams. 

There are doctors, lawyers, teachers or other professionals who share  being in their particular profession was their father's dream.  Many talented musicians and artists have been discouraged from their original gifts by well meaning family or elders.  As a small child, if our dreams and desires are squelched we will easily acquiesce as adults as well.  For those who were more rebellious, they may have been used to ignoring the input of others and persevered in spite of lacking support. 

We of course would not bolster a person's desires if they were unhealthy for themselves or harmful to others,, but young children rarely need condescending remarks about their dreams. Their aspirations change along with their development.  If they are constantly critiqued, confidence will never grow.  They will hesitate before sharing out loud, then they will deliberately  repress, and in many cases this results in rage and anger.

There was a young girl who loved to color and had a huge box of crayons.  She equally liked to draw and had a giant box of colored pencils.  Her parents admired her imagination, but knew one day she would be a teacher.  The young girl's aspirations to use her talents outside of a classroom continued throughout her childhood.  Around the age of 12, the young girl was struck with polio leaving her paralyzed on one side.  The parents were extremely discouraged about her future.  The girl regained her confidence and continued her attraction to sketching and colors.  In spite of her parents concern, she entered college as an art major specializing in design.  The last I heard, she was a successful clothing designer in a major city. 

As mentors, parents, or role models, we would do the next generation a greater service if we displayed the courage to step through our fears.  If we can teach others to accent their strengths, and to follow their desires in spite of limitations from false illusions, we will have a better world community.

A Simple Concept



Loving someone does not mean automatically acquiescing to their every whim.

Sometimes love shows itself in saying no to an attitude or desire that is harmful. But your opposing must be done tenderly, without anger or condescension. This is a difficult art.

 Eknath Easwaran's
Thought for the Day

In my early thirties, I read a concept changing my out look for the rest of my life.  The concept was simple and I was amazed I had never considered it before.  The simple concept was this: 

Yes and No are of equal value.

Yes is not greater than No.

Both reflect a choice.

Both are to be equally respected.

I am not certain where I had learned or more pointedly been taught that 'yes' was always the right answer, while 'no' was deviating from being a 'good' girl.  It was obvious to me that by replying yes, it made others happy, but saying no attracted the evil eye.  I felt badly when I said no, like I was disappointing someone.  When I was somewhat forced to say yes, I was disappointing my self which apparently didn't matter.  I felt guilty and sometimes ashamed for saying no.  The word yes seemed to be laced with being polite, socially appropriate, and more acceptable in relationships. Needless to say, this contributed to having unhealthy boundaries and limitations on my free will.

I cannot remember exactly when the word no was eradicated from my vocabulary, but I believe it was around the time I started screaming resistance in my mind.  Like a trick pony, I learned how to behave and was so successful I was led out into the performance ring to be paraded around.  Even the applause could not deaden the screaming inside of me. 

Once I digested the concept of yes and no being equal, I began to respect my own boundaries.  Observing the shocked reaction of others to my virgin replies of no, I felt the rewards of finally speaking my truth.  The fears of rejection, punishment, and abandonment were no longer greater than the sense of losing my self.  At the age of thirty, I began peeling back layers of falsehoods defining who I supposedly was to the outside world.  I began the long process of becoming who I had been all along on the inside. 

Yes and no can be very powerful words.

Both no and yes can be spoken quite courteously.

Honoring the self creates healthy boundaries.

Being in alignment with heart's desires charts our course.

May Day

The name for the month of 'May' has been believed to derive from 'Maia',
who was revered as the Roman 'Goddess of Springtime, of Growth and
Increase', and the mother of 'Mercury', the winged messenger of the Gods.
 

May Mystical World Wide Web

When I was in kindergarten, we made spring baskets and flowers out of colorful construction paper.  We decorated the borders in our class room giving  it a festive decor.  As I grew older, we planted seeds in little plastic cups in celebration of May and then Popsicle sticks came into play.  I don't remember much about May Day in high school, but there is something about dancing around the May Pole once in college.

Married with children, I made little May baskets with flowers and got up early while the household still slept.  I deposited the 12 small baskets on the porches of dear friends.  It used to be one of my favorite things to do. 

I love picking assorted flowers from our yard and then placing them in different rooms in the house.  When I enter a room and see the flowers a smile is surely to follow.  I breathe in the faint fragrance and my body seems to relax.

Throughout the summer I try to be mindful as I am on my way out the door to visit a friend.  At the last minute, I will grab a few flowers and place them in a little vase or bottle to bring as a  surprise gift, leaving the container with them.   It can be a reminder of friendship or passed on to friends.  It is such a small gesture but it truly brings me pleasure.

So on May Day, my reverence for all flowers is rekindled.  A large assortment of flowers are planted in clay pots or random containers in our back yard.  The perennial garden has a head start and in no time, our yard is turned into a colorful garden of flowers.  Peony, Iris, Lavendar, Hibicus, Lantana, Calalily, Double headed Impatience, Zinnias, and Asters to name just a few. 

May Day, I sincerely welcome you!

Lost and Forgotten

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning.

~ Ivy Baker Priest  Being patient and staying focused is difficult to do when it feels like we are at a dead end with no alternative route on the horizon.  We can become discouraged or overwhelmed as the days, months, or even years pass by.  We can feel lost and forgotten.  We wander around aimlessly wondering when the veil will be lifted or when we will have our next 'ah ha' moment directing us back onto our path.  Yearning to discover and surrender to our life's purpose seemingly takes a life time. Then whoosh!  We can almost hear the pieces miraculously sliding together and we click into a sense of wholeness.  We feel reborn and rejuvenated amply prepared to face our challenges.  We are filled with joy to once again be grounded and yet deeply connected with all spiritual things. This joy washes over us so suddenly, we ponder what the trigger may have been to set this all in motion.  We review what we have said or done, but the exact turning point escapes our line of thinking.  We may never recall the sequence of events, but we know we have arrived.  We are exactly where we needed to be. No matter how methodical we are life has a pace of its own.  Opportunities, set backs, and rewards have their own individual timing not running parallel to our own.   We can control our choices but very little else.  When we let go of the death of the old and embrace the new, we have such a strong sense of purpose and wonder how we could have ever felt lost and forgotten.  We examine our selves to discover if we really were unseen during the days, months or even years we were passed by.  With a new segment of life before us,  we come to understand that much of life is a matter of perspective and how quickly we can adjust to new views.

Messed Up

                                     



“Life is painful and messed up. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. But that's why we have to keep trying. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. Sometimes the things that hurt us are the things that make us strongest. A life without experience, in my opinion, is no life at all. And that's why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living.”

Alysha Speer

At times, life can be very painful and messed up when we are in the midst of a challenge.  When we are resistant and struggle against the lesson rather than learn from it, life can get pretty complicated.  We can become lost if we forget all we truly know as truth.  If we do not use our tools of faith, trust, and hope, we can wander quite a ways from our true destination. 

After awhile, we grow so tired of wallowing in the void, we begin to try once again.  We may need a mentor or therapist to help us untangle what is at the root of our problem.   The process of identifying our barriers and removing limitations is not easy by any means.  It requires consistent and heart searing work work through our issues.  The results are well worth the effort.  We survive feeling stronger and closer to our life's purpose.

It is good to remember we are not the only ones fighting a great battle.  Every one here on earth faces challenges whether they appear to be or not.  We are not all at the same stage of process.  This is why sometimes we are on top of the world smiling, noticing someone else struggling or people around us are smiling and we are the ones struggling.  We are not alone in life experience.

It is important to remain constant in our awareness, retain compassion for our selves and others, and strengthen our connection with Spirit.  To have a strong relation with the Divine does not excuse us from life's lessons.  No one is excused.  Our lessons, however, can be less painful if we respond to them immediately, honestly, and seek a new way.  We can remember: to believe in our personal abilities to move through problems; our personal relationship with God; and the joy in achieving accomplishment.

Homeless Soul

         

  

 

There is no Them.

There are only facets of Us.

John Green

This morning I watched a man wander down our street.  He wore black clothes decorated with soil in the fabric and highlighted by rips and tears.  His crown was a faded black stocking cap, pulled down over long and stringy gray hair.  His face, an unnatural color,  was not clean shaven and deep creases were the medals he wore.  His torn shoes reflected his long time in battle.

A neighbor's car pulled to the side of the road.  A retired gentleman from three blocks down got out and approached this poor tired soul.  The man extended a coffee and a McDonald's bag filled with food.  The wandering man shook his head definitely declining the generous offer.  The neighbor encouraged the elder man to accept the food, but whether tired, hungry, or poor, the wanderer was not inclined to accept the food. 

I am proud of the neighbor who wanted to help, and I wonder about the tired old soul.  I speculate if he was off medication that would permit him to remain tethered in this world.  Was he schizophrenic or paranoid or simply a homeless soul. 

As hours of my day passed on, I continued thinking of the wandering man.  Where was he now and where would he go?  Might he be a Master from another realm invoking compassion is our very souls?

Breath of Fresh Air

       

       

"Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.

Erich Fromm

Today, I was allowed to breathe in fresh air.  The sun was shining on my face and precious breaths of pure air filled my lungs.  I felt more alive than I have in months.  These cleansing breaths poured over my troubled thoughts, sluggish body, and tainted cells.  I am alive once again.

It is like this when traveling the spiral, repeating lessons, and healing a little deeper each slide around a coil.   These transitions seemingly take forever when I am anticipating the very next segment.  I wait and wait, but when nothing rises on the horizon fear settles in ... what if there is nothing more? 

Seclusion seemed the most obvious way to settle my mind and open my heart to something new.  To eliminate distractions I focused  on reading, writing, and contemplating, but I did not seem to speed a transition along.  Desperate, I finally reached out to kindred spirits, hoping for some direction to appear.  Foolish gesture, indeed as all answers are within.  

Aware of my despair, a special soul held my hand and walked with me into my depths, helping to clear the debris blocking my path.   With her wisdom, she silently held her light for me to see more clearly the illusion of fear. She witnessed the dawning of my need to get out of my own way.

A surprise gathering of three eclectic spirits  reminded me of the power we all hold within.  As if waking from a long winter's nap, my strengths stretched  awakening the better parts of me.  How could I have fallen into such a deep sleep that I could no longer hear what I deeply know and what I have learned through a life time of lessons. 

My soul sounds like it is humming, happy to be inspired once again.  The breath of fresh air has ignited my visions and creative play is bouncing around in my head.  I had been worried my spiritual contract was complete, but today I know I am very far from done!

Trees Will Whisper

Trees are sanctuaries. Whoever knows how to speak to them, whoever knows how to listen to them, can learn the truth. They do not preach learning and precepts, they preach, undeterred by particulars, the ancient law of life.

Hermann Hesse



Trees are so amazing.   Some are tall and strong while others are bent and gnarly.    Two trees can be so closely entwined they appear to be one while one lonely tree may be sitting on a bluff with no other trees for miles.   There are some trees who have funny things looking like mustaches hanging from them or those prickly things called gum balls or some with things looking like old banana peels.  

The Weeping Willow tree had once been my favorite.  I loved the unusual shape of it and the rustling of the branches.  Even without leaves, it seemed to be a magical umbrella.  Up north, the birch trees with their white bark stand incredibly straight and very tall, but the Weeping Birch is  feminine and more lovely.  I have been in a Bamboo Rain Forest, an Eucalyptus grove, and the plush garden from the movie Jurassic Park.  Not far from here there is an acre dedicated to a particular kind of Pine tree.  Standing in the middle of this acre one can hear the silence of a forest.  The Banyan tree, however, may be one of the most interesting as one tree can spread itself over an entire block.

When a friend's body gave up the physical plain, we held a celebration of life for her.  Each participant in the celebration had two ribbons loosely tied to their wrists.   Then at a certain time, we were asked to individually tie each ribbon on a branch of a tree with a loving thought or wish for our friend now physically gone.  When this was completed, the trees in her back yard were beautiful and we could feel her presence amongst us.

Most everywhere I have lived, I have had a designated favorite tree.  Sometimes it is difficult to narrow it down to one and it is not something I consciously do.  It is like a best friend, it grows deeper into you the longer time is spent together.  I can lean against a tree and feel its energy and its presence.  I can stare at a gnarly tree deciphering all of the strange images hidden within the bark.  Sometimes, if I am very still, trees will whisper to me.

The Incidental Moments

"There seemed to be some heavenly support beneath his shoulder blades that lifted his feet from the ground in ecstatic suspension, as if he secretly enjoyed the ability to fly but was walking as a compromise to convention." Zelda Fitzgerald Wife of American short story writer Fr. Scott Fitzgerald People we come in contact with every day can become the backdrop to our life.  Any individual can just fade into our surroundings and we grow accustomed to their presence.  It is a different experience, however, when we take notice of each and every person we pass. Everyone appreciates recognition or any sign of appreciation for the seemingly small part they play in the grand scheme of life.  Any acknowledgement affirms their place especially when it is extended with kindness. We often think of ourselves as invisible, feeling that no one notices our coming or our goings, but this is rarely true.  It is more likely that people have noticed, but neglected to express their thanksgiving or gratitude.  When we recognize any person in our life, we create magic within the incidental moment. There is a small coffee shop I haunt quite often.   Different people work the counter, manage or stock the bakery cases.  One day there was an incidental moment I decided to acknowledge the kindheartedness of one of the employees in front of two customers.  I impulsively offered comments about this young man who was always so thoughtful and caring.  The customers beamed, the young man beamed, and then they explained.  The two customers just happened to be his visiting parents.  Proud all around.  An incidental moment became magical as we all laughed and introduced ourselves.  From that day forward, this young man always exchanged pleasantries adding light hearted humor to my otherwise ordinary day. As life is filled with change, this young man has moved on.  The likelihood of seeing him again is not very great.  So I am thankful I had let him know how much I appreciated his workmanship as well as his friendliness.   Often, we think of doing this after the fact, after the person has moved along and it is too late to be gracious.  We grocery shop every Wednesday morning at the same store.  In doing so we become familiar with the workers and the environment feels more personal.  We take incidental moments and bring life into them through slight recognition or gratitude.  One day I said to the butcher who had so patiently helped us, "I am so glad you were here today! Thank you for helping us."  He looked at me like ... what's the catch ... but after a moment, he broke into a smile and gave us a hearty thanks.  He is now always friendly and shares suggestions or small jokes.   In this same grocery store, there is a man who bags groceries.  He always looks so serious and unfriendly.  One day however, I started talking to him and his entire face became animated.  We look for him every visit as he contibutes very original exchanges.  In these  incidental moments with him, the warmth of his eyes flood my heart with a magical buzz. When we think of strangers we pass every day ... walking down the street, on the buss, in our building, or sitting beside us at meetings ... we come to realize they are only strangers as we have not used a silent nod or a small smile for acknowledgement.  Any simple recognition helps to turn incidental moments into a kinder world.

The Other Side of Nothingness

"I spent my life learning to feel less.
Every day I felt less.
Is that growing old? Or is it something worse?
You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”

Jonathan Safran Foer

To grow up minimizing the self and taking up as little space as possible, yet being gregarious to receive validation of any sort, is much  like a weed pushing up through a crack in the sidewalk.  The wild weed seeks everything at great risk with out anything but the sun coaxing it out of the darkness.  Without faith, hope, and trust, it is doubtful the weed will succeed.

To push out of the darkness one feels way too vulnerable standing before the sun.  So we seek shade for protection like Eve hiding from the garden sun.  How odd we are birthed into the light and yet we seek to disguise our nakedness.  We strive for the light and yet we fear to be exposed.

What price must we pay for authenticity, to completely unfold?  Obstacles and damage cause us to bend and sway, but curiosity beckons us further down the way.  We seemingly arrive strong and bold, ready to welcome what we desire to hold.  The space is endless and the silence deafening, and still we appear  alone.

The weed struggles out of the darkness and into the light only to discover there lies something still beyond the light.  So search again we must while we stretch and grow a little more.   With faith, hope, and trust, surely we will eventually pass through all illusion,  exploring the other side of nothingness. 

Accessing Both Sides

What makes us tick?

This morning, I have been reading MORNING MESSAGES by Peggy Black.  She was discussing masculine qualities and feminine qualities each of us possess.  This a common theory, each human being has a masculine side and a feminine side.  Ideally, a person chooses the best from each side living a balanced life.  We have all heard of being  too much in the left brain or too much in the right brain. 

Just to be clear, men have both masculine and feminine traits as women also have masculine and feminine traits.   The masculine is usually considered 'left brain':  strong, aggressive, controlling, decisive, analytical, strategic, practical and realistic.   The feminine is 'right brain':  peaceful, enduring, nurturing, holistic, intuitive, directly cognitive, emotional, instinctive and protective.

When we do not maintain a balance of these traits, we end up being too extreme in one area or another, such as:  too emotional or no emotion at all.  The goal is to develop both sides, perhaps meeting in the middle.

In our youth, we are molded by our culture and peers.  Don't be a mamma's boy, don't cry like a baby, girls are meant to be polite and pretty.   Frequently, our masculine and feminine sides can be seriously remolded before we ever leave our home.  Very early on we experience judgment for parts of our self which encourages us to down play or rid our selves of our true nature.

To best understand, we can say that as a child, we need to be encouraged to use both our masculine and feminine qualities in balance.  Peggy Black suggests we use both analytical (m) and intuitive (f) in joint efforts.  Combining holistic feeling nature with action and strength creates a balance.  Unfortunately, our society has encouraged some of these traits while repressing others resulting in an automatic unbalance.

"Imagine for a moment that a male was encouraged to bring forth and express the sensitive, nurturing and peaceful aspects coupled with action, strength and logic. There would be no soldiers, for a male who was sensitive, nurturing and peaceful would not and could not be taught to destroy life for any reason."  Peggy Black www.morningmessages.com

As a society, I do think we are improving.  Men are encouraged to hug and express their feelings.  They are becoming even stronger supporters in philanthropic adventures.  In addition to chef's, more men cook and acquire more household chores than before.  Women are taking more administrative roles in business, building homes, doctors, dentists, and enlisting in the services.  Women have grown passed the image of daddy's little girl never being angry, marrying the perfect male, having babies, and never seeing daylight again.  Women continue to choose to be mothers, but they also complete their education, experience a fulfilling career, and often times not marry at all.

Visualizing a human being as a pendulum, we can see the attractiveness of being able to be in both the female and the masculine sides of our nature.   When we hold our selves accountable for both masculine and feminine qualities, we actually have a broader range of behaviors assisting us in our daily lives.  We have a larger arena to be creative as we allow our selves to tap into both sides of our nature.

The most important factor is to know our selves and to not let someone or something else determine who we are.  We can give our selves permission to be strong or to be emotional without explanation or embarrassment, as long as nothing is taken to the extreme.  When we finally embrace both our female and male qualities it is much easier to embrace others as well.

 

 



Impossible to Anticipate

"There is nothing,

for good or for evil,

of which a person is incapable."

Jan-Phillipp Sendker

THE ART OF HEARING HEARTBEATS

As I wait for spring to unfold, I also endure this sense of suspension.  There is a lack of passion and a desire to detach.  Being still and living in nothingness, for me, is a growing intensity.  I realize all transitions take time, new situations are uncomfortable, and there is always a period of settling in; but, I find myself to be unnerved.

I realize as an energy worker, it is important for me to hold light to counter balance the darkness seemingly stepping out from everywhere.  Daily I send love, energy, and light to far away places, to states united and to not so far communities.  Rage, anger and hatred seem to be erupting, but the worst are those with the calm and cold eyes. 

I try very hard not to judge and to be forgiving, while the understanding part is the most challenging of all.  We can say whatever we want, but until we are directly in a particular position we truly do not know for sure what we would or would not do.  It is impossible to anticipate what our actions would be if in total desperation. 

I believe in a goodness inside of everyone, but we each have choice as to how we will respond, with good or with ill-intent.  I mourn the loss of the innocent, and I praise the immediate reaction of strangers.  All of us must start listening more intently and being vigilantly aware of our surroundings.  Not to be practiced out of fear, but as an effort to be more interactive with the immediate world  around us.

Suspended and Surrounded

Those who are free of resentful thoughts

surely find peace.

Buddha

 

 

 

In preparation to be present in front of a visiting Tibetan Monk, I spent the morning being led through various spiritual exercises.  The energy in the room was building and layer by layer I was shedding the outside world.  When the Tibetan Monk arrived, he too led various spiritual exercises accompanied by chanting.  Layer by layer, I was shedding my inside world too. 

 

Forgetting place and time, I realized I was in a state of total bliss.  I was calm, peaceful, and worry free.  Thoughts had finally silenced and I was clearly rooted in peace.  I was unaware of my body and felt as though I was one many particles gently floating in the air.  I felt as though I was nothingness.

 

Eventually, I had to ground my self to shift back into reality.  This experience had been so profound, I never wanted to forget it.    I wrote about it, but words would never capture the total experience of mind, body, and spirit.  I have tried to duplicate the spiritual feelings numerous times, but I am successful only by a small percentage. 

 

I am grateful for the bits and pieces of this spiritual adventure remaining with me.  I carry them into creative visualization trying to reawaken my senses.  I am envious of the many Masters living  in a perfected state of bliss.  It seems incredible to me that there are those who live a prayerful existence every day of their lives.  It must take exceptional  discipline, focus, and the ability to constantly let go to establish such a blissful state for lengthy periods of time.

 

I can experience peaceful moments and extended time of calm, but to be mindful all day long (unless I was cloistered) seems so impossible for me.  With peace and calm, I will continue to contemplate in hopes of visiting this state once more.   Bliss ... being totally untethered from all of life ... feeling a peaceful calm ...  suspended  and surrounded by everlasting  love.

 

 

 

 

Silence Not Allowed

Trust that little voice in your head that says

'Wouldn't it be interesting if ... '

And then do it.

Duane Michals

This season seems to be playing havoc with my sinuses and allergies.  When I don't ward off the headache early on, it tends to slop over into a migraine.  Once the pain gets ahead of me, I can be down for hours.

Louise L. Hay states that headaches occur when "Invalidating the self.  Self-criticism. Fear."  She suggests we use an affirmation such as:  "I love and approve of myself.  I see myself and what I do with eyes of love.  I am safe."  Of migraine headaches she reports, "Dislike of being driven.  Resisting the flow of life.  Sexual fears."  The recommended affirmation: "I relax into the flow of life and let life provide all that I need easily and comfortably.  Life is for me."

Others report migraines stem from repressed anger.  This, of course, is a subject I know only to well.  As a child, I cringed at loud voices, arguments, fighting, and any display of anger.  I vowed to myself I would never be angry.  So as a re-frame, I would say my feelings were hurt rather than embracing the human emotion,  anger.  All I was doing was repressing all of my anger inside of me.  This does damage on several levels ... body, mind, and spirit. 

This last year I spent some time exploring my angry feelings.  I then gave my lovely self permission to use my voice in expressing my anger.  Wow, was I ever surprised.  Instead of experiencing repercussions I discovered a sense of freedom and closure.  The problem was brought out into the open, addressed, and resolved.  It was all a matter of using my voice in an appropriate manner and being willing to listen to the other side.  All those years of repressing my feelings out of fear did more harm than simply voicing my anger.

The voice is an incredible tool and it is amazing when a person is blessed with the gift of song. The voice, however,  needs to be used for expression whether in the written word or outloud.  We should not allow ourselves to be silenced.

In his book, THE BOOK OF AWAKENING, Mark Nepo reflects:  "For even if no one hears us, it is the act of speaking that frees us."  We can express our words through any of the arts (painting, writing, singing, lyrics to music or poems, dance, etc... )  The experience is liberating, so much more fun than suffering a pounding headache.

Deleted Files

The truth is a force of such magnitude that it demands to be known one way or another.

If buried, the truth will push its way to the surface.  Denial or suppression of the truth will manifest as ill health, dysfunctional relationships or financial problems.  The truth does not remain silenced or suppressed comfortably.  It may take a lifetime, but the truth will win out.

Deborah King

 TRUTH HEALS



Our minds are like master computers.  They record information regarding people, places, and things.  Our personal computer is our Secret Keeper recording and repressing.  We have special files we store information in, the inbox for current thoughts, and the delete button to get rid of what is no longer useful.  As in all computers, however, deleted files can be reclaimed if we know what we are doing or secure a person who knows how to guide us through the process.

We take our unpleasant experiences and store them in a file.  Each time we open the file, we can review and heal just a little bit more to the point of eventually eliminating the file all together.  It no longer serves any purpose and is just taking up valuable space. 

Repressing information is much different.  When we repress something, it means not looking at it, not coming to understand the relevance and not healing.  We do not comprehend the importance of this information and it impede our mental health. 

When we hide something from our present state of mind, it gets dumped into the physical body.  We will carry it in the form of a headache or stomachache, even to the point of a more serious physical illness.  We are so uncomfortable with the information it creates a "dis-ease".

Continued repression of issues we have not dealt with, impacts our mind, then our body, and then our spirit.  The flow of our natural spirit is impaired and we become depressed.  In this depression we may continue to remain in denial about whatever is buried deep within us.

Repressed memories will not surface until we are ready to deal with them.  Sometimes they float to the surface, but we may not be ready so once again we push them down, even unknowingly.  We may realize something is nagging at us but we can't quite put our finger on it.  There seems to be something just under the surface and we cannot identify it.

Repressed incidents can be released through a random fragrance, touch, physical location,  passing remark or a dream.  In fact, when something originally happens and we repress it, it may resurface in a dream.  If we ignore the dream, it may resurface again in a form of a nightmare.  If we continue to ignore these incidents, the ignored issue will be repressed from the mental into the physical.

So the button on the keyboard, "escape" is really too convenient for us to use.  We think by just clearing the document we will be fine and this is not true.  The longer our deleted information is repressed, and the virus is ignored, the damage grows greater. 

The broken spirit eventually wears out or we can say our computer crashes.  Reclaiming our lost or deleted document requires outside help ... a technician of sorts.  We can reach out to a trusted friend, minister, life coach or minister.  Admittedly, this can be a long process requiring patience, diligence, and forgiveness.   With the elimination of so many old files, one may want to downsize to an iPad or just an iPhone requiring future years of learning all of the new aps! In the end, however, we will feel liberated with the sense of advanced programing. 

Holding Stars



sacred vessels 

“it was when she dipped deep inside, and scooped out her very essence - and then stretched her arms outwards with her hands full of stars - it was when those stars passed thru her fingers and out to the world - it was then she understood she was a sacred vessel. that we are all sacred vessels - with the entire universe flowing thru us - and all we need to do is open and be.”

Bone Sigh Arts

Wouldn't it be wonderful to truly experience our  essence?  Can we possibly imagine holding stars in our hands  as they drip through our fingers out into the world?   Could we really rid our sacred selves of body shame and illusion of worthlessness?  How do we authentically open our selves enough to feel the universe surging through us?

If we are diligent in our personal growth, one day we will experience a full sense of who we are at the core.  We will feel a sense being whole even if we are imperfect and still missing pieces.  Recall what it was like to hold a lightening bug in our child like hands, and then feel how magical it would be to hold a star in our hands.  Although difficult to imagine, think of our selves as being so significant that we can drip importance into the world.

We are all sacred vessels holding Divine Spirit within us.  Once we tap into this Divine Sacredness, we ignite our hidden light and shine it brightly for others to see.  As a sacred vessel, our dreams, intentions, and life purpose flow through us as opportunities to extend loving kindness into a peaceful world.

I  am still  entranced by the imagery of holding stars in my hand.

Hope, Faith, Truth ... Positive Imaging

The world in which you live

is not primarily determined

by outward conditions and circumstances

but by the thoughts that habitually occupy your mind.

Norman Vincent Peale

May 31, 1898 – December 24, 1993

Norman Vincent Peale was one of the most widely read inspirational writers of all time.  He was pastor of New York City's Marble Collegiate Church, a prominent lecturer, and radio host and perhaps best known for his book, THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING. 

I first became aware of his work in Guideposts Magazine (Peale was the editor and co-publisher) back in the days when Sue Monk Kidd was also a contributing author.  In my opinion, he was in the forefront of ministers who encouraged Christians to begin to be accountable for their relationship with God rather than just depending upon a minister or a church.  He was like a breath of fresh air all of those years ago. 

In 1982, Norman Vincent Peale wrote another book, POSITIVE IMAGING.  When I read this book, I immediately read it again, and then again.  As I devoured his words, I could feel limitations fall away and I began to feel a part of faith once again rather than being separate.  He was interested in developing the human spirit, the awakening of the soul.  My, he was ahead of his time.

Peale stated about Positive Imaging:  "The concept is a form of mental activity called imaging.  It consists of vividly picturing in your mind a desired goal or objective and holding that image until it sinks into your unconscious where it releases great untapped energies."

Mr. Peale encouraged us to visualize our own well-being, to see our selves whole, healthy and energized.  He believed that the key to health was practicing creative imaging.  He explained that beautiful thoughts triggered the release of beneficial hormones which assisted the body in being healthy.

The Bible and scripture were frequently quoted in his writings.  He believed  hope, faith, and truth were vitally important once we set our goal, believed in attaining our goal, imagined it to a great degree, and made sure Divine Spirit was our partner.

My favorite part of  POSITIVE IMAGING pertained to imaging Jesus the Christ or Buddha or any other Master .  Here is what he suggested for creative imaging:

             "Image Jesus as actually your personal friend.  Don't regard Him as some remote, historical, stained-glass kind of figure.  Image Him as your constant companion throughout the day.  Paint a portrait in your mind of what you think He looks like.  Fill in the details:  His compassionate eyes, those strong carpenter's hands.  How did His voice sound when He talked to people, when He told the story of the Prodigal Son, for example?  He must have had a wonderful laugh; can you picture yourself sitting on a hillside in Galilee, hearing it?  If you can picture that, why not picture Him sitting alongside of you right now?"  

In POSITIVE IMAGING, Norman Vincent Peale documented stories about terminally ill patients who chose to use Positive Imaging in addition to their medical assistance.  His words continue to be as they were  in my younger adult years.  He was definitely a large contribution to my beliefs of the body, mind, and spirit connection.