Accessing Both Sides

What makes us tick?

This morning, I have been reading MORNING MESSAGES by Peggy Black.  She was discussing masculine qualities and feminine qualities each of us possess.  This a common theory, each human being has a masculine side and a feminine side.  Ideally, a person chooses the best from each side living a balanced life.  We have all heard of being  too much in the left brain or too much in the right brain. 

Just to be clear, men have both masculine and feminine traits as women also have masculine and feminine traits.   The masculine is usually considered 'left brain':  strong, aggressive, controlling, decisive, analytical, strategic, practical and realistic.   The feminine is 'right brain':  peaceful, enduring, nurturing, holistic, intuitive, directly cognitive, emotional, instinctive and protective.

When we do not maintain a balance of these traits, we end up being too extreme in one area or another, such as:  too emotional or no emotion at all.  The goal is to develop both sides, perhaps meeting in the middle.

In our youth, we are molded by our culture and peers.  Don't be a mamma's boy, don't cry like a baby, girls are meant to be polite and pretty.   Frequently, our masculine and feminine sides can be seriously remolded before we ever leave our home.  Very early on we experience judgment for parts of our self which encourages us to down play or rid our selves of our true nature.

To best understand, we can say that as a child, we need to be encouraged to use both our masculine and feminine qualities in balance.  Peggy Black suggests we use both analytical (m) and intuitive (f) in joint efforts.  Combining holistic feeling nature with action and strength creates a balance.  Unfortunately, our society has encouraged some of these traits while repressing others resulting in an automatic unbalance.

"Imagine for a moment that a male was encouraged to bring forth and express the sensitive, nurturing and peaceful aspects coupled with action, strength and logic. There would be no soldiers, for a male who was sensitive, nurturing and peaceful would not and could not be taught to destroy life for any reason."  Peggy Black www.morningmessages.com

As a society, I do think we are improving.  Men are encouraged to hug and express their feelings.  They are becoming even stronger supporters in philanthropic adventures.  In addition to chef's, more men cook and acquire more household chores than before.  Women are taking more administrative roles in business, building homes, doctors, dentists, and enlisting in the services.  Women have grown passed the image of daddy's little girl never being angry, marrying the perfect male, having babies, and never seeing daylight again.  Women continue to choose to be mothers, but they also complete their education, experience a fulfilling career, and often times not marry at all.

Visualizing a human being as a pendulum, we can see the attractiveness of being able to be in both the female and the masculine sides of our nature.   When we hold our selves accountable for both masculine and feminine qualities, we actually have a broader range of behaviors assisting us in our daily lives.  We have a larger arena to be creative as we allow our selves to tap into both sides of our nature.

The most important factor is to know our selves and to not let someone or something else determine who we are.  We can give our selves permission to be strong or to be emotional without explanation or embarrassment, as long as nothing is taken to the extreme.  When we finally embrace both our female and male qualities it is much easier to embrace others as well.