Not At The Top

"Good art is a form of prayer. 

It's a way to say what is not sayable."

Frederich Busch

                                                                 

To sit at my desk without any inkling of what I want to say is frustrating.  Zillions of ideas dance through my consciousness, but I cannot seem to limit my ideas to one stream of thought.  I have pulled several books from the book shelves and nothing is grasping my attention.  There is one prevalent thought, however, which is I wonder what the reader really would like to know.  How can I decide which direction to go ... dreams, self-esteem, cultivating an art, creating sacred space ...

We are all unique human beings carrying our individual gifts and talents.  Our life experiences create our personal history which will flavor our actions and words.  So perhaps we must discern what it is we want to say and how we want to say it.  Do we want to express ourselves through speaking, writing, painting, singing, dancing, gardening, cooking, etc ...  Whatever we decide to use as a means of expression will define in our own unique way what we find difficult to say.

Judith Jamison shares, "Learn the craft of knowing how to open your heart and to turn on your creativity.  There's a light inside of you."  There is a small whisper of Spirit within each of us yearning to be expressed in whatever way is possible.  We may have to make several attempts of learning how to be creative, but the point is to take action and to try.  Keep in mind the importance is our original imprint and not a goal of life time achiever.  We may never master a particular skill to disclose what we hold within, but that is fine.  The importance is creative expression on any level in any form.

The other day I was longing to water color.  I am not very good, but I love the forgiveness of painting with water colors.  They blend together and the experience is so freeing for me.  Did I do it?  No.  My ego or some old critic inside my head was telling me it was a waste of time and that it was stupid for me even to try.  I was so disappointed.

This is probably true for most of us.  We self-talk our creative urges back into oblivion.  The worst is if we never try.  We must have reasonable expectations as anything we attempt we will be apprentices and not masters.  Our expectations are centered upon releasing our creative feelings, not upon the unlikely outcome of going from 'rookie' to star. 

We must not compare ourselves to anyone, as no one is like us.  We must honor individuality and develop an appreciation for whatever attempts we make.  We can keep our accomplishments to our selves, as sharing sometimes depletes our inspirations.  Whatever we can do right now is good enough.  We must begin somewhere and we won't be beginning as an accomplished musician, dancer, or painter.  Any accomplished person began somewhere and it wasn't at the top.