The Veil

God cannot leave us.

It is just that our soul is so vast,

we do not always feel His lips

upon the veil.

St. Catherine of Siena

(1347 ~ 1380)

In spiritual discussions, insights and mystical moments are frequently compared to a veil being lifted.    The veil being lifted refers to the sudden ability to see or understand something within a blink of an eye. It is so fleeting, the experience cannot be put into words or be appropriately reflected.  

This uncharted spiritual experience could also be compared to a drapery being pulled aside for a clear view and then replaced back into position, blocking what one had just seen.  It happens so quickly one wonders if they have experienced it at all.

It is as though the human being experiences a spiritual moment implanting a 'knowing' into our memory, but this 'knowing' is not accompanied by the spiritual language to explain such an experience.   Deep within, we have just witnessed an explanation of an unknown, but have been left with human limitations.  This 'knowing' leaves us with a feeling of affirmation and validation increasing our faith and dedication without a tangible explanation.

Spiritual "ah-ha" moments expand our understanding and knowledge, but leave us unable to appropriately relate them to others.  If not written down to the best of our abiltiy, the exceptional experience can be quickly forgotten as though it had never happened at all.

We need to be aware to notice the veil.  Our hearts must be open to see through the parted veil.  When we allow for stillness, our body, mind, and spirit are deeply connected and we are humbly embraced by all that is ...

To Journey with Dreams

I believe in everything until it's disproved.  So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons.  It all exists, even if it's in your mind.  Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?   John Lennon

Scientific studies, psychological literature, and sage philosophers reflect the importance of dreaming and substantiate dreams.  We dream in color, images or symbols reflecting emotions, and frequently personal messages can be detected.  In a sense, dreaming can be a form of communication.  This includes pleasant dreams as well as nightmares.

As I was driving home from Nashville, Tennessee,  I decided to listen to a series of spiritual tapes (yes, they are old)  to help pass the time as I found my self to be bored.  I had played these tapes many times, but it had been years and I was curious as to how much I had forgotten or embraced. 

After considerable winding and rewinding, I managed to insert one of the tapes correctly.  The content was discussing how God uses the Holy Spirit to speak through us.  The presenter was using an example of a child dreaming, actually having a nightmare.  Assuming the audience was on the same wave length, he describes entering the child's room and gently assuring the child he or she is safe.  He firmly stated that "we" were not interested in the dream content as it was not important.  "We" did not ask the child what the nightmare contained,  as our job was to bring comfort from the Holy Spirit through our voice.  After a few moments of assurance, the child is told to return to sleep.

Confined and alone in my car, I found my self yelling, "Are you kidding me?"  My hands  white knuckled on the steering wheel, and my foot accelerating in reaction to my anger,  I found my self speeding down the interstate.  Yes, of course, comfort the child with God and Holy Spirit flowing through words, but if there is no discussion of the dream, one will simply repress what was already repressed, allowing the nightmare to resurface again.

As I continued my drive home in silence, I recalled many times each of my four children experienced dreams.  They reported mystical dreams or silly adventures or nightmares.  I would remain present with them, listening and allowing them to talk the content out.  Comfort is vitally important but it is not the only necessity in dream resolution.

I think of dreams as feed back.  If I am suppressing fear, chances are good I may have a nightmare.  If I am struggling with creative output, I may have a dream containing an excellent format I had not yet thought of.  If I am conflicted with a relationship, I may dream a mini drama reflecting different options I had not considered or see my self portrayed in a not so pretty light.

Dreams are a form of communication, telling us, showing us, and helping us to navigate in life just a little bit better.  They help us to see things how they could be or maybe how things really are.  There are symbols, themes and insights buried within the scenario just waiting to be discovered and applied.

If you are the least bit curious, please discover the book:  THE MYSTICAL MAGICAL MARVELOUS WORLD of DREAMS, written by Wilda B. Tanner.  It truly is the only book a person might need.  The first part explains how dreams work, what they might mean, and developing the practice of remembering or recording dreams.   Another section discusses what animals, buildings, clothing, backgrounds, locations, actions, parts of the body, and actions have to do with dreams.  The remainder of the book is a dream dictionary.  I first purchased this book in 1988 and truly believe it is one of the best available.  It is very user friendly, respected, and thorough.

Need to get away?  Grab this book and a journal and you will be blown away!!

Building Futures



Have you seen your future lately...?
Oh, there it is!
Spinning in the palm of your hand. 

The Universe

www.tut.com

Can we really see our future in our hands?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Our hands, however, play an enormous part in our future.  We can dream of our future, but if we do not take action with our hands, our future may never become a reality.

Our future doesn't just happen willy nilly.  The future takes planning and preparation even though the end result may be something entirely different from what we planned.  We can still be spontaneous and open to possibilities but we must have at least a sketchy idea or vision.

A future is much like a building.  It needs a strong foundation and lots of layers of bricks.  Then windows must be added to let the light in and doorways for communing with others.  A kitchen for gathering and nurturing the soul. Add a well lighted stairway for ascending into better ideas and concepts.  A strong roof must be added to protect from bad storms, strong winds, and whatever else may fall.  Yes, I suppose it is the story of the Three Little Pigs all over again!

We hold our dreams or futures in the palms of our hands, but the work must begin in the now, in the present.  We work towards the future, not waiting for a miracle to plop down our futures and dreams manifested.  We have work to do.  Don't wait for the future to arrive.  Start building pieces of the future today and every day. 

Human Beings Learning to Evolve

Life Was like a prism;

what you saw depended on

how you turned the glass.

Jonathan Kellerman

A COLD HEART

In the passing years, I have learned to look at life a little differently.  There was a time when I would be moved to tears by headlines or feel threatened by random acts of violence spread across televisions.  My emotions would run rampant with thoughts of how to fix the world in spite of the fear in my belly.

Then somewhere along the way, I realized people only changed when they wanted to change and personally, I could do very little.  Reality preached I was the  only person I could change.  Fighting ego's shouts of selfishness, I focused on my own behaviors and how they were mirrored in the world around me.  I detached from the expectations of the outside world, and began a journey within to meet the true essence, my soul.

Once we learn to love and accept our selves, (flaws, imperfections and weaknesses)   we begin building a self-value or a confidence in what we are truly capable of doing ... creatively, constructively, and passionately.  So when we turn the prism and begin to see life a little differently, we are no longer entrenched in fear, violence, and helplessness.  We find our selves with hope and positive inspiration impacting those around us.

When we are running on positive energy, others around us are attracted to this vibration.  It is not heavy nor restrictive.  It is light and vibrant pulling us into positive motion.

It somewhat seems that peace begins within us and we can only create that through self-exploration and discovery.  Will world peace come one man/woman at a time? If so, we must be patient while human beings learn to evolve.

Time Being Spent in Nashville, Tennessee

“It’s funny how certain cities get under your skin. I’ve been around, but there’s something captivating about Nashville, Tennessee – a ‘crazy town’, as locals call it, bursting with culture, history and Southern charm (the kind of charm that prompts locals – easily the friendliest people I’ve ever encountered.”

-Brisbane News




A few days ago, I made the 6 hour journey to Nashville, Tennessee.  It is a beautiful drive and a drive I have been taking for over 10 years.  The solitude in my car suits me as I soak up all of  nature,  watching the landscape change the farther south I travel.  From north to south, all of the little towns dotting the interstates have become familiar to me.  I know exactly which exits offer what and where the gas is cheapest. 

Navigation in Nashville is rather easy once one gets the lay of the land.  I can travel most anywhere I want, and believe me, there are plenty of things to do and see.  Scarlett Begonia is my favorite shop, Centennial Park hosting endless art festivals, Nashville Zoo, Nashville Library Downtown, Hillsboro Village, Ann Padgett's Book Store, Music City, Green Hills and Cool Springs Malls, Lake Radner, beautiful parks, and delicious eateries.

My most favorite place in all of Nashville, however, is my daughter's home.  It doesn't matter which season I visit, the highlight will be my time with her.  I feel very nurtured in her space which also houses Hannah the wonder Golden Retriever and Trudy the temperamental Tuxedo Cat.  We can be content just 'being' with each other either reading or sharing in front of her fireplace or out on the covered patio.  We always manage to take plenty of walks and to visit with her friends both new and old.

This precious time between mother and daughter always moves too swiftly.  We are both good listeners so our shared stories, accented with laughter, tears, and lessons, continue to bind us tightly together.   Being with her lifts my spirit and soul.  She reminds me of who I am, what all I have accomplished, and new ways to share my gifts and talents with others.  She awakens my sleeping positive attributes and hushes my critical ego.  By the time I leave, I will be cocooned in an emotional gauze of hugs and kisses, fully prepared to once again face the world.

Symbols are vitally important to me.  My daughter symbolizes life itself with her compassion, endurance, courage, intelligence, and service.  Her inner beauty matches her physical appearance and her worst enemy is her critical ego. 

Oh, if we could only see our selves as Divine Spirit intended ... focusing on our positives, using our gifts and talents with equal love for others as well as for our selves!  

Governed by the Soul

                                               

Many people have taken in the message that our souls are some mystical ‘thing’ that is important but separate from our physical selves and daily lives, when the reality is quite different. Our souls give us life and make us unique. Our bodies, our emotions, our intellect are all manifestations of our soul in relationship with the world around us and all other things. We are in an ongoing conversation with ‘all that is’ and this is reflected in how we live in the world.    Teri Uktena





Each and every one of us is an unique human being creating a life with our very own soul.  We have individual gifts and talents to be used in manifesting this life.  It is not about competition, duplication, and winning, but rather about achieving our authentic personal goals.  What we bring into this world is a piece of life's puzzle required to make the world complete.

Through our discoveries and our kindness towards others, we can advance life for everyone.   By joining our efforts with like minded people we can pave a wider road for others to prosper.    We do not take from others, but share.  We do not use force or control but rather encouragement and teaching.  We must live by example for our selves and for others. 

Through inner promptings from our soul we experience and orchestrate all we need to know.   We must listen to the input of others in sharing wisdom, but our inner voice, our soul, must be heard as well.   Others will be different as human beings are diverse, but this doesn't make them wrong.  They just have an alternative way of following their own soul.

We must always remain aware of how we impact others and how our efforts impact the community rippling out into the world.  There is no need to live in isolation, as interaction with others teaches us lessons we need to know.  Living in isolation does not help the self and robs the world of unique gifts intended to be shared. 

Let us each be an artist filling our blank canvas with the energy we hold within.  Then we can use our masterpieces of life to be joined with others like mosaic tiles. Let us build a beautiful world where we can all live peacefully together.

Allowing Truth to Rise Within





                                                     “You can't stop the future
                                                      You can't rewind the past
                                                  The only way to learn the secret
                                                          ...is to press play.”

                                                                Jay Asher
                                                  THIRTEEN REASONS WHY

 

 

 

It is as though someone has drained all color from the world and only black and white remains.  Instead of walking through soft sand, I am wandering through snow.  The floating butterflies are gone, replaced by hungry backyard winter birds.  The lovely outdoor gardens for dinning have disappeared along with all of the fresh fish.  So I guess I need to push play and get on with my life.

 

Perhaps I am simply stalling, knowing that responsibilities and obligations await.    I need to be gentle with my self as I transition back into place.  It takes more courage to be authentic at home than it did in the midst of strangers.  My thoughts need to focus on what feels true and release the interfering thoughts of fear. 

 

My intention is "to let truth as I know it rise within" just as Mark Nepo suggests.  He also advises even when we do not yet understand all that is our truth, we need to let it fill us.     As time passes, segments will come together  forming a complete piece.  Until I have full understanding of what I have experienced during my last adventure, I will remain open for understanding  or to be taught otherwise.   

 

Life can be compared to a dream in that during the first glance, we can form opinions, but as we look more deeply we can find layers of symbols and  hidden wisdom.  Like a dream, life frequently is not at all as it first appeared.  Understanding unfolds with time and patience encouraging us to experience it slowly and fully.  If for whatever reason we do not comprehend the initial experience, like a dream, it will recur until we learn the necessary truth.

 

It comes down to how much time  we want to invest in understanding our own lives.  Do we want the Cliff Notes or the enhanced version?  Are we always going to take the express lanes or will we route our experiences partially upon country roads?  Will we speed dial or slowly enter individual numbers? 

 

We will discover the need to pace our selves through life or life has a way of slowing us down.  All we have is the present moment  so we must expand each moment to the fullest even if just while we are standing still.

In Search of Friendship

“There is within each one of us a potential for goodness beyond our imagining; for giving which seeks no reward; for listening without judgment; for loving unconditionally.”
Elisabeth Kubler~Ross



While creating friendships, we would be seeking qualities and characteristics reflecting loyalty; ability to embrace diversity while maintaining authenticity;  truthfulness with respect; and an eagerness to encourage  or support.    We would be drawn to a person based on their integrity and not by layers of accumulated masks.  We would hope for a sense of connection  or potential for discovery of a kindred spirit.

What we frequently seek in friendship is what Divine Spirit has always extended or provided to us.  Divine Spirit loves all of us unconditionally without judgment and offering us nothing but goodness.  It is difficult to embrace what we cannot see, but the spiritual rewards are overwhelming. 

When we experience a friendship with deep meaning or personal value, we are experiencing the mutual goodness of each other.  It is not always at the same time as we take turns helping one and other.   The friendship grows and it is as though Divine Spirit works through each of us bringing joy, happiness, and compassion for each other. 

In any friendships balance is necessary for healthy growth.  We yearn for goodness to be extended, to be able to use our voice without feeling judged and to feel unconditionally accepted;  but we must offer these things in return as well. 

There is an old saying  "If you want to have a good friend, you must be a good friend."  Offer to others what we most want for our selves and share authentic gifts.  What strength we have may be an area the other wishes to learn.  Sharing is very important while listening is vital. 

When we open our hearts to each other, Divine Spirit flows through us.  There is great unexpected reward when we exercise our potential for goodness.  Not all friendships are sustained, but it is a blessing to know we have offered our very best. 

Allow the Self to Cry

"There is a sacredness in tears.  They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.  They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.  They are messengers of overwhelming grief ... and unspeakable love."     Washington Irving

There are times I just want to pull down the shades and close out the world.  I desire to be silent in the silence surrounding me.  I attempt to be in each present moment, suspended from thought, word, and deed.  To be perfectly still within the stillness.

During these private moments, tears  run down my puffy cheeks and I taste grief upon my lips. These tears are the first sign to me that I have unresolved sadness attempting to escape.  Frequently, when words hurt me to the core, I quickly hide them inside for viewing in a more protected place.  It is not until time has passed and I am feeling safe that I allow the tears to streak down my face.

The allowed distance gives me time to generate forgiveness and grace.  This lapse in time offers a better perspective and healing of the space.  There is time given to remember who I truly am without  outside validation, status or place.

No one need ever be ashamed of tears for they are cleansing agents of the soul.  They are loving reminders of the deep caring inside and our ability to survive.     Sometimes, it takes great strength, not weakness, to allow the self to cry.

Articulating on a Blank Page



Every secret of a writer's soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind is written large in his works.

         Virginia Woolf (1882-1941)

The travel from Key West went smoothly and safely all of the way to our doorstep.  With thankful and grateful hearts, it was good to deeply breathe in the unforgettable fragrances of home.  There was great comfort in sleeping in our own beds with our familiar pillows and linens. 

When I made my coffee this morning, I was delighted to find a male cardinal showing it self off in the layer of snow freshly fallen upon the ground.  His amazing red image was heightened by the white of the snow and his singing of a song.  Smaller birds were gathered in the bush as if to personally welcome me home.

Today I will have to unpack, do laundry, and then re-pack as I will leave shortly for Nashville, Tennessee.  I had committed to spending spring break with my daughter not realizing how closely it fell to our arrival home.  I do look forward to the long drive as it is always undisturbed thinking time while the beauty of nature appears at every glance.  A visit with my daughter ... well, that is like getting a whole body healing.  Nothing delights me more to feel her love, interest, touch, and quiet times we have always shared over the years.

As I transition today, I am physically accomplishing things needing to be done, but there are words bulging inside of me.  There are thoughts and theories needing to flow onto paper allowing creative release.  I recognize there are some words never meant to be spoken, but only to be squandered upon a waiting blank page.

Recognizing Parts of Self

I feel like I've never had a home. You know? I feel related to the country, to this country, and yet I don't know exactly where I fit in. And the same thing applies to the theater. I don't know exactly how well I fit into the scheme of things. Maybe that's good, you know, that I'm not in a niche. But there's always this kind of nostalgia for a place, a place where you can reckon with yourself. Now I've found that what's most valuable about that place is not the place itself but the other people; that through other people you can find a recognition of each other. I think that's where the real home is.

SAM SHEPARD               

There were two observations shared with me by two different friends over 30 years ago.  Both assessments were mentioned in a positive way.  For some reason, both statements remained affirmations helping me to be aware of the importance of perceptions.

Each and every one of us are multi-faceted, but rarely pay attention to the small things, the little things making our personality or character unique.  Some of our strengths we take for granted, being so used to having them we falsely assume others have the same abilities when in reality they do not.  They have their own strengths and their own weaknesses.

Although these two statements were made by people unknown to each other  during two different stages of my life, the comments support each other and have helped me be more gentle with my self.  The descriptions of my self allowed me to re-frame what I had considered to be negative aspects and turn them into positive qualities.

I grew up in a large city, attended a small town college and then lived in several different states, traveling around more than the average woman.  It was unsettling to me to hear acquaintances mention how they had never moved from the the location of their birth home or lived in the same area their entire lives.  For whatever reason, these comments always made me feel some what like a transient or lesser than even though each of my travels were made deliberately for personal or professional reasons.  A dear friend made reference to me saying, "I think you have some gypsy blood in you allowing your self the courage to travel into the unknown."  It was said in a very supportive and positive way.  It gave me food for thought.

A few years later, during a private conversation with a trusted friend, the second statement was made.  This is what was said: "I admire you, watching you move from one situation to the next and always adjusting your self to those around you.  You some how make your self comfortable no matter where you go or who you are with."  These words offered me a positive reflection of my self that frequently assisted me in traveling through my gypsy life.

Now in my later years, I do a lot of traveling and it is true, I adjust well with strangers and I have a lust for visiting diverse places.  I no longer see this as good or bad.  I embrace these qualities as a part of who I am.  Applying  this awareness has helped me to remain comfortable in my own skin.

                                  

Returning Home

 

 

 

 

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.” 

 

Edith Sitwell

 

 

 

Staying in Key West for over a month has been a wonderful blessing.  I am most grateful and thankful to be able to have enjoyed this opportunity especially with Russ.  We have visited an old cemetery,  historical fort, gardens and homes, the gulf, the ocean, Red Barn Theater, Waterfront Theater, intimate garden concert, art show, art festival,  shrimp boats, wharf, cruise ships, and a spectacular evening celebrating Russ's birthday on an island arriving by ferry.  We have haunted most every neighborhood restaurant eating in beautiful gardens.  We have walked extensively every morning, afternoon, and evening.  I am stuffed with fresh fish, lobster and shrimp to say nothing of the homemade ice cream at Flamingo Crossing.  My skin is so soft and once again has some color.  It has been a joy to spend every day out doors surrounding by the abundance of richly colored nature, and the dipping pool in the back yard.

 

 

It is time to go home, however, and I must admit I am prepared.  I am anxious to return to my own surroundings where I can find familiar books, writings, and favorite coffee cup.  I will get the fireplace started and apologize to my plants.  I will reach out to my favorite coffee 'sister' as well as my women's group and writers group.  I have missed all of these tender hearts as they so generously support and encourage me.

 

 

With loads of laundry piled high, I will put away my summer linen and return to my closet to rediscover my winter garbs.  From flip flops to boots, from linen tops and shorts to sweaters and leggings.  I will nest in front of the warm fire in my favorite sweats and baggy thermal shirt.

 

 

I will find time to journal about the holes I have found in my spiritual wardrobe, and begin requests for additional help in mending my ways.  It is curious to me when we grow spiritually stronger, it allows us to see more areas of personal repair. My father used to use an old Swedish saying, "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get!"

 

 

Fare thee wells will be extended to our friends and paradise will be imprinted upon my memories.   I will stay present in the moment, letting go of this abundance, making room for what will next unfold.  As one adventure ends, a new journey begins.

 



"I see the moon and the moon sees me."

 

 

 

The moon is a loyal companion.
It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human.
Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.

 

Tahereh Mafi

SHATTER ME

 

 

 

Last night when I went to bed, I looked up through the sky light and I saw the moon.  It was half hidden by moving tree branches, but  the beams streamed down brightly lighting our room.  I moved to the center of the bed framing the full moon in the sky light frame. 

 

 

Astrologically, I am a "Moon Child" (Cancer) and I will admit I fell in love with the moon as a young child.  The moon has always been there for me whether I see it or not.  I simply glance up to the sky and I sense it is there listening to me. 

 

 

Lying in my bed, I keep repositioning myself to stay covered by moonbeams as the moon gently glides across the sky.  This old friend of mine has heard me beg, bargain, and cry.  I have witnessed its passage across the dark sky more times than I can count.  I reposition myself again, as the full moon continues on its path and soon will be out of my sight.

 

 

We will be flying back to Illinois, leaving this paradise.  We will be returning to the possibility of  ice and snow.   There will not be vibrant flowers to greet us, nor will there be swaying palm trees, the ocean or the gulf.  The fishing boats and yachts will all be left behind.  The outdoor eateries and diversity of mankind, absent.  Art galleries, street artists and art festivals will all carry on without us.  There is a sense of loss within me, but it is balanced by the hope of another time to return.  This is not goodbye.

 

 

Upon returning home, I will be joyful to once again find the moon waiting to reflect all parts of my self ... the rotation  of full radiance, shadows, darkness, and cycles of on going change, never the same.   The moon is a comforting constant in my life, no matter where I go. 

 

 

This  is a perfect way for my last night's stay in Key West ...  communing with the full moon.  For me, the moon is a promise of tomorrow and the beholder of my gratitude and thanksgiving.  It is never really clear to me if I am witnessing the moon or if the moon is witnessing me, but we seem to be present. for each other.  "I see the moon and the moon sees me."

 

 

 

 

 

 



Continue Moving



Life is like riding a bicycle - in order to keep your balance,
you must keep moving.

Albert Einstein



My father taught me how to ride a bike.  I had a little bit of difficulty weaning my self away from by lovely blue trike with the well worn smooth pedals.  With my father's encouragement, I boarded my sister's old Schwinn two wheeler with great anxiety.  I repeated his words of direction over and over,  "Don't look back.  Keep pedaling.  Balance is the key.  It is easy!"

With these words spinning in my head, I felt my father steady me on top of the bike.  I knew he was holding the bike upright and that my part had yet to begin.  Next he was running beside me, shouting, "Use the pedals.  Move your legs!"  It was challenging to keep my feet on the pedals that were already moving without me. 

I suddenly realized my father's voice was no longer in my ear.  So I turned around, ignoring directions, and saw him standing a half of a block behind me.  WOW! I was moving and doing this all by my self.  My confidence picked up and I was sailing.  Sailing that is, until I hit the corner realizing I wasn't quite so sure how to turn.  I cut the corner too close and fell into the freshly grass seeded lot with the sprinklers running.  The bike and I quickly turned to mud.

In Key West, there are bicycles everywhere and every color of the rainbow.  Some bikes are rented and they are easy to spot as the bikes are a solid color and the helmet protected rider has white knuckled the handlebars. A Key West resident rides a bike full of splattered colors or partially rusted.  They almost always have a basket on front for their dog (Saw one bike rider with their cat in an arm sling strung across the chest.)  and baskets in the back for groceries and such.  Bikes are uniquely decorated in ways that make one laugh out loud, as  the bicyclist moves in and out of traffic with  out one sign of fear.  Women wear dresses, bathing suits, or surprisingly formal attire as they zig and zag down the streets.  Wind blows through their hair, their skirts flutter, and  on their faces are looks of childhood delight. 

For many here in Key West, a bicycle is better transportation than a car.  There is virtually no place to park, the saltwater air rusts everything out, and the tourist traffic is horrendous.  The cars on the streets are  high end , like a BMW, Lexus, or sport car. Then there are tons of Mini Coopers that are ever so fun, especially the convertibles.   Many motorcycles make themselves loud and clear.  They are a definite part of the landscape, but so is the scooter!  There are scooters dodging in and out of everywhere.

The highly decorated bicycles trigger the free spirit in everyone.  They are a symbol of innocence, fun , and freedom. They bring back memories of friends, laughter and adventure. Hearing the cha-ching, cha-ching  of those round silver handlebar bells makes me years lighter and happier.

Just like a bicyclist, we need to keep our balance and keep moving.  Since I don't even walk straight, I think I'll keep my feet as the best mode of transportation.  I will continue moving, striving for balance in spite of challenge.



Good to Go

 

 

 

 

Old friends pass away, new friends appear.  It is just like the days.  An old day passes, a new day arrives.  The important thing is to make it meaningful:  a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.

Dalai Lama

The vacation days here in Key West have passed way too swiftly. The days remaining are too few, but precious.  We will try to absorb as much beauty and warmth as we can (up to 5 inches of snow await us at home). 

 

 

We will be meeting our friends today at the Key West Art Show.  We have attended this before and find it to be very good.  We will wander through the exhibits talking to various artists and hopefully make a few purchases.  Then we will have lunch with our friends.

 

 

Last night we ate at a neighborhood authentic Cuban restaurant .  The place was packed, the food delicious, and the prices very reasonable. Typical of our evening, we slowly walked back through Old Towne to the rental house accompanied by our friends.  We sat on the back porch enjoying these lovely souls, knowing the days were on count down.  This couple is a blessing in that we all like each other ... not just the wives or a business connection.  We all bring something different to our relationship so conversations are random, but heartfelt.

 

 

Little by little, I feel my self beginning to withdraw from this place I love.   I do believe the gifts I have received here would not have been so quickly apparent at home.  When we step out of our comfort zone, leave normal surroundings, and have fewer distractions or responsibilities, it is easier to maintain awareness of what we need to mend.  I have had time to notice different parts of my self needing repair and with the help of this gorgeous weather and diversity of people, I am in a good place.

 

 

In truth, I had hoped to be able to return home ready to leap tall buildings and spiritually fly.  So foolish these traps we set for our selves.  I am simply me.  If I am not me, who will be?  I must continue to be the best me possible.  This challenge may have been a life time project, but I am no longer "under construction".  There is enough time left, I hope, for me to put on the final touches and then I'll be good to go.

Fish Out of Water

 

 

 

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.

~Nelson Mandela



My last trip to Maui was a month long spiritual journey.  Revelations greeted me at every turn and a sense of euphoria filled my life each and every day.  Although I experience Key West in a different way, I arrived here anticipating additional spiritual break throughs.  I felt prepared to open my heart and mind to thoughts to propell me farther along my spiritual path.


With every transition, change is present and we best be prepared to go with the flow.  Nearly a month ago when we arrived at a lovely little rental house in Old Towne, I was fully prepared for adventure and discovery.  Little did I know my awareness would reveal I had arrived at my destination which happened to be my inner self.  My imperfect inner self.


Instead of soaring above the ocean like an eagle in the sky, I remained grounded in observations of gaping holes I needed to mend.    Why are we always surprised to discover we have traveled near and far only to arrive at the starting point once again.   The difference is I now know the way to go, which paths to take, as I have traveled it more than once before.


As I wander the familiar streets and favorite places, I am aware of just how much I have changed since I was last here.  I am proud of who I am today, and grow increasingly aware of who I have always been.  I believe this search of meaning in life is simply a matter of swimming deeper and deeper within our own waters.  We develop the ability to shed more and more of what we no longer need, and learn to swim with the current. 


My nature is to grow increasingly comfortable while in the water.  I float, swim, and dive in the rolling waves.  What is there not to enjoy?  There is such a sense of cleansing, of washing away the heaviness of life, and hearing only the silence of  the liquid surrounding the body.    I find myself to be light hearted and buoyant, not wanting to be the old fish  spit out by the ocean onto the sand.   I don't want to be just another fish out of water.

 



Fog of Fear

          

 

 

The strength of a woman is not measured by the impact that all her hardships in life have had on her; but the strength of a woman is measured by the extent of her refusal to allow those hardships to dictate her and who she becomes.

 

C. JoyBell C.

 

 

 

Historically, the strength of men has been portrayed as a physical quality.   The strength of women has been viewed more as an emotional or mental quality.  We can look at a man and physically be aware of his strength, but woe is the one looking upon a smaller woman and not being aware of her endless strength.

 

 

To be a strong female was a requirement in my life, even though my strength was often hidden.

I did not necessarily need for others to know of my strength, but it was vital for me to maintain this quality.  I have been overwhelmed, and challenged.  It is not in the falling down that strength is required.  It is needed for the standing back up.  The strength to move forward, once again, requires every ounce of strength within the body, mind, and spirit.

 

 

It becomes exhausting to be the strong one all of the time.  Some where along the line, the decision is made to stop protecting others and defending the self.   The longing to 'just be' becomes greater than the fear of being vulnerable.  By allowing the strength to become balanced, energy can be used in the discovery of self-identification. 

 

 

All of the concern once lavished on others can now be used to nurture personal unfolding.  While polishing off the old comments from others, we rediscover the gifts we have had all along.  We strive to become more creative with our life and as the Universe supports us, we care less and less about what others may be thinking or saying.  We develop a self-appreciation that has been long in coming.  We are amazed to finally feel a sense of worthiness, and to give our self permission to take up space in this world.

 

 

As we begin to live in each moment, we realize there is no need for a protective shield.  We have the strength to address challenges as they come and go, letting falseness pass right through us.  We no longer hold the illusion of life trying to harm us.  We create calm by embracing the richness that waits beyond the confusing fog of fear.

 

 



Synchronicity at Hog Fish Bar in Stock Island

 

 

I do believe in an everyday sort of magic -- the inexplicable connectedness we sometimes experience with places, people, works of art and the like; the eerie appropriateness of moments of synchronicity; the whispered voice, the hidden presence, when we think we're alone.” 

Charles de Lint

 

 

There is nothing like synchronicity to bring magic to life.  We have all experienced those unexpected moments when random factors all line up in unison, bringing the unexpected together. 

 

One of my favorite  places to eat is at an outdoor bar known for serving Hogfish.  This particular fish is caught locally, so it is very fresh.  Hogfish is mild, meaty and just delicious.  The Hogfish Bar is established right in the middle of the shrimp docks so no matter where the customer sits,  there is plenty of activity going on at the wharf. 

 

Every time we visit the Keys, we always make sure to visit this outdoor eatery.  In the  bathroom for women, there is a sign stating,  "All employees must wash  hands. If employees not present, wash your own hands!"  

 

As I stood in line waiting for the bathroom, the woman behind me struck up a conversation.  "Have you eaten here before?" 

I responded in a very affirming way. 

Then she asked the usual question of where I was from. 

I told her Illinois. 

She then replied, "Oh, so am I.  Where in Illinois?" 

I told her Springfield and she exclaimed, "So am I!"  

So we laughed and hugged like twins separated at birth.

 

Synchronicity has been laced in and out of my life, and I am grateful for the inexplicable connectedness.  Synchronicity brings the kid out of us.  We are amused like a slight of hand trick.  Our funny bone gets tickled and magic seems to light up the stars in the sky.   

 



Pra Na Spa in Key West

 

 

 

 

“If I could touch anything in the world right now,

it would be your heart. 

I want to take that piece of you and keep it with me.” 

 

Jessica Verday

 

 

For Christmas, Russ gave a gift certificate to me from the PraNa Spa in Key West.  I have received massages here before with great satisfaction.  It is in a Zen setting with softly playing meditation music.  So I happily returned this year anticipating nothing but pleasure.  And pleasure it was.

 

During the last ten years as Russ and I have traveled, I always arrange time for a massage.  Each and every one has been interesting in its own way, and each  experienced masseuse has allowed me to enter into the private realm of my spirit.  Through the power of touch, stress falls away and the body relaxes followed shortly by the mind.  I find my self in a peaceful and suspended space outside of  ordinary time.  Within this sacred space filled with brilliant healing light, I mentally reach out to touch the hearts of those I love.  I visualize this light floating across time and space, successfully settling into these hearts bringing a wisp of contented love.  Then I extend this rejuvenating sense of calm out into the world, hoping it will arrive where it is most needed.

 

It is truly a shame the word 'massage' carries a stigma for some.  A professional massage is healthy for body, mind, and soul.  It is interesting to learn in the very first definition of hospital,

the structure offered medical procedures, family discussions, and massage.   Manipulating the body was considered an important part of the healing process.  With the growing population of Senior Citizens, there are many who have not been physically touched since the passing of their mate.  A massage would be rejuvenating physically and emotionally. 

 

The experience of a massage realigns our physical balance as well as the balance between body, mind and spirit.   It helps to adjust our perspective and attitude, allowing negativity to fall away.  If this has still not peaked an interest in a full body massage, try this.  Place a favorite lotion in the palms of each hand, then slowly rub each palm and then the top of the hand.  Rub the fingers and the wrists. Extend the rub up to the elbows working both the top and bottom of the arm.  Continue to the feet.  Apply lotion and knead the bottom of your feet and then stroke the top.  Attend to the toes like the fingers, rubbing in between each toe as well as the base in the back of the toe.  The ankles can also be massaged and part way up the leg, especially at the back of the calf.  It is truly amazing how this attention can impact the entire body with so little effort. 

 

If these comments still leave doubt lingering in the mind, think of the Bible.  There are many references to a common practice of anointing the feet with oil.  I am certain it was as pleasurable then as it is now.

 

 

 

 

  

Aligning With the Inner Self

"I want to feel my life while I'm in it."

Meryl Streep

We move through life witnessing both success and defeat, courage and fear, and happiness and sorrow.  During these segments, we are frequently focused on how to move forward and disallow our selves time to actually feel any depth of emotions.  We don't want to be stuck in our emotions.  We don't want to be carried away by our emotions.  If, however, we do not allow our selves to truly feel we are not aligning with our inner self, Divine Spirit, or wisdom to guide us. 

Using success for example.  If we experience success and ignore our true inner emotions, we may not realize are loneliness, lack of passion or sense of being in the wrong place.  Just because we become successful in a certain arena, does not mean it is the the arena for us to perform in for the rest of our lives.  Even if the success is the result of a long held goal, we may discover it is not where we truly resonate.  On the other hand, while experiencing success, we feel buoyant, joyful and continued passion, then by recognizing these emotions, we are validated and encouraged.

When we avoid our inner self, our feelings get repressed.  They do not simply go away.  In sorrow, people will tell us to be brave, get over it, and prepare for a new life.  We need to allow time to check in with our sadness, our loss, or vulnerability.  We need to feel these emotions deeply so we can begin the process of healing. 

A few years ago, I was with a trusted mentor.  I shared a childhood story with her I had told many times over the years as I thought it was so funny.  The story involved my self and an exchange with an adult.  After sharing the incident I was laughing heartily, but the mentor challenged me.  She said, "I see you regard this as funny, but how did it make you feel?"  Silence followed.  No one had ever asked me this question before and I was truly caught off guard.  I realized only in that moment it made me feel horrible.  When I stopped crying, I knew I would never tell the story in the same way again.

Human beings walk around life with a back pack.  When they come into contact with an emotional reality they don't want to deal with, they throw it in their back pack.  This works fine until one day the back pack is so filled with repressed anger, rejection, abandonment and/or other negative experiences, we are so off balance we fall.  It becomes time to remove the back pack and to sort through it discarding all of the old rubbish.

When we stay in alignment with Divine Spirit, our inner self is flowing and free no matter what the outer world brings to us.  We can face our challenges with a spiritual force (trust or faith) allowing us to embrace reality, feel our emotions, and move through life fully experiencing the union of body, mind, and spirit .

    



Simmer Until Boiled Dry ...

Where there is anger,

there is always pain underneath. 

Eckhart Tolle

There have been several times I have noticed the exchanges between couples prompting me to  question the balance of power in relationships.  I hope to recapture these moments to display what I mean.

    A  woman in her early sixties was standing at a check out counter of a small shop.  The husband entered (they were wearing wedding bands) and in a loud harsh voice says, "You are not buying that are you?  You'll never wear it.  You don't need it." The few customers in the store turned to the bullish man as quiet loomed in the shop.  The shop keeper sympathetically looked into the woman's eyes and asked, "How about if I take 20% off the price?"  The husband in a degrading voice looked at the wife saying, "You aren't seriously going to buy that are you?"  The customers in the shop seemed to gather closer.  The wife took a deep breath and asked the shop keeper to please wrap it up.  The husband stormed out of the shop.


     A woman sipping her drink leaned forward and lovingly said to her companion, "Are you going to keep me forever?"  The man was hesitant creating a slight pause before he responded, "Well, forever is an awfully long time."    The earlier look of love quickly turned to embarrassment.

     A woman asked a man, "Which way do you want to go?"  Curtly,  the man replied, "How about you go that way and I'll go this way.  We can meet back at the house."  The smile fell from the woman's face while the man attempted to convince her he had been only teasing.

    The sidewalks were cramped with people moving ever so slowly.  An attractive woman was bumped off the curb and a man behind her was quick to grab her arm.  "Are you okay honey?" he asked.   She jerked her arm away from him obviously angry.  She loudly yelled at him, "You do not need to take care of me.  I can take care of my self.  I don't need you at all." 

    The attractive couple shared a bottle of wine.  He was physically fit and graying around the temples of his well structured face.  She was an attractive blond with long legs stretching under the table for two, reaching out to his.  Her smiling eyes never left his face.  She encouraged him to talk and they shared laughter throughout their dinner.  There seemed to be an intimacy between them.  Then he said, "Before my wife died ... "  She responded  immediately in body language.  She pulled her tanned legs back under her chair.  She broke her loving gaze from his face and looked away.  Pretending to let a huge yawn escape from her mouth, she quickly wiped the tears from her cheeks.  As she leaned back in her chair, she crossed her arms as if they would protect her. She yawned again in attempt to fill the newly created silence between them.  He appeared to be lost in his thoughts while she seemed to notice us for the first time at the neighboring table.  "Lovely evening isn't it," she bravely said in our direction.  We politely replied as the man left to pay the bill.  She seemed to wander off the porch of Bagatelle's Restaurant out into the night.

These are all examples of anger with pain under the surface.  If we choose to ignore  anger and let  emotional pain simmer until we are emotionally boiled dry, what then?  How long does one endure degrading remarks in public, humiliation in front of others, or damaging personal insults passed off as teasing or joking.  This behavior is not exclusive to age or gender.  The basic issue is respect and honor towards our selves and  others.  It is also about appropriate communication and speaking out about inner feelings.  Unfortunately, when we exercise this kind of behavior, it can spill  over into other relationships both social and professional.

It is discouraging to observe and/or experience these types of situations.  They reflect the masks we choose to wear when we are not authentically present in the moment and not aligned with our precious selves.  They are reminders to us all to be more direct and honest so we won't boil dry.

Nooks and Crannies ... Key West Tour of Homes.

Never make your home in a place.  Make a home for yourself inside your own head.  You'll find what you need to furnish it - memory, friends you can trust, love of learning, and other such things.  That way it will go with you whenever you journey.    Tad Williams

"Be comfortable in your own skin" is a directive I have heard for several years. My love for people and natural curiosity with human behavior, has always allowed me to be comfortable with others, but not necessarily with myself.  I learned to gather things in my home reflecting my interests and passions.  Over the years, however, the treasures I store in my heart sustain me.

The Old Island Restoration Foundation promotes the preservation and restoration of historically significant buildings.  With our friends we took advantage of the Foundation's 50 year celebration of Key West House Tours.  We visited six different homes, each reflecting a different life style, history, and care. 

Although all of the homes were interesting in one aspect or another, there was one that lingers in my mind.  It belonged to an artist who resided half of the year in Key West and the other half in New York.  The property is really divided into two small structures attached by a wide walk way with a lovely garden in the rear. 

The living quarters are on one side offering two modest bedrooms and an amazingly unique kitchen.  In the covered walkway,  the roof joins the two structures.   In this area, there was a wonderful hiding place filled with cushions and partially enclosed like a built in window seat providing a wonderful reading or dreaming nook.  Snuggled into this space, one can glance out into the lovely backyard and enjoy the breeze passing through the middle of these structures. 

The other structure was my favorite.  The entire back wall had windows that faced the backyard's secret garden.  There was a queen size bed facing the window for endless napping or visualizing.  It was one big room with the windows and bed on one end, and an artist's studio on the other.  There were numerous cubby holes in the wall to hold supplies or treasures and a work table with a good window.   Glance up to the ceiling and there is a tiny walkway leading to a loft offering a rocking chair in a small  private cranny facing the top of the large triangular windows from below.

This second structure has been implanted in my memory.  It will be a mental hide-a-way for me to escape ... to dream, ... to contemplate ...  and to create.  It is a mental space where I can be comfortable in my own skin without any material distractions or attachments. 

Touring six  historical homes was  very interesting.   They were all very individualistic and creative.   Visiting the artist's small two structure home with nooks and crannies will remain with me indefinitely.  It  has been yet another gift from Key West.