Truth is in the Eyes of the Beholder

Empowerment means learning about my historical past, understanding where I am lying to myself about the truth of who I really am. Feeling whole is not about calling another out every time I am caught up in my emotional reactions based on my past hurts. It’s a long and tricky process learning what are my adult facts and choices rather than my rationalizing, defending fears that are masked as “my truth”.

 Suzy Newman

 Director of the School of Healing Arts

We can all experience the same situation and each of us may have an entirely different reaction.  Our perceptions would be filtered through our personal lenses colored by our life experiences.  My truth may not necessarily be your truth.  Truth is in the eyes of the beholder.

Life is hard, but we do not need to make it more difficult than it already is.  Not all of us need to tippy toe back through our childhood determining who did what or when.  A more modest approach may be to ask our self, "What limitations has my childhood experiences placed on me?" 

Negative experiences whether physical, sexual, mental or spiritual color our vision for the remainder of our days, unless we acknowledge the limitations.  Once we are consciously aware of these limitations, we can trace the roots of their existence.  Processing through an adult perspective, we can remove these blocks, adjust our thinking, and gain a healthier attitude towards life.

Empowerment is experienced when we are free from any distortion from our innocence, truth, and core goodness.  When we can forgive and embrace life as it is, our spirit will soar!

Our Work of Art



It is the function of art to renew our perception.  What we are familiar with we cease to see.  The writer shakes up the familiar scene, and, as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it.

~Anais Nin

When we travel, we usually spend time in art galleries.  I have an appreciation for most things I see, but I do not necessarily like it all.  I have come to understand, however, the more exposed I am to different artists, my preferences change and my appreciation in general grows.  In addition, the more I view a piece of art, my response to it alters.

When I met a friend for coffee the other day, we realized through conversation we had a mutual friend.  I had known the person mentioned for many years and thought I knew her quite well.  As my coffee companion shared how she knew this friend, I was amazed at how much more she had learned about her and in a very short period of time. 

Later, as I thought back over the conversation about this mutual friend.  I wondered if I was not like a photographer, snapping a picture of some one and then keeping her in this singular captured vision.  I apparently had been seeing my friend in a freeze frame photo ... exclusively in the one capacity that I had met her.  For whatever reason our relationship was always contained in only one aspect of our lives.   

When we place friends in categories ... work, church, community, family ... we restrict our view by seeing just one aspect of them.  It is when we experience friends in different situations that we begin to see the art of life in totality.

When we view a person only from one perspective, we not only miss personal diversity, we may begin to gloss over or take for granted what little we do know.  Human beings are complex individuals with an abundance of originality.

So I begin to look with new eyes and listen with both ears to discover more deeply the art of friendship.  I think this is especially true with acquaintances we "think" we have nothing in common with.  It is impossible to hold the expectation of deeply appreciating every person we meet.  It is possible, however, to listen and observe until we can appreciate multiple aspects of those we hold dear.   We are all evolving and constantly redefining our lives, our works of art. 

He said, She said ...

The most precious gift we can offer anyone

is our attention.

Thich Nhat Hanh

He said:   If this guy doesn't make the next cut,

                 he'll be out of the tournament.

She said:  I don't feel so very well.

He said:   We better get some rain or the

                 our lawn will be fried!

She said:  I am not doing so very well.

He said:   If they don't win this game,

                 they can forget about the series.

She said:  I don't know what is wrong with me.

He said:   The markets are really unstable,

                  we really need to be careful with money.

She said:  I feel so alone.

He said:   My assistant is on vacation and

                 I have twice as much work to do.

She said:  I need you to be more present.

He said:   Are you finished? 

                 We need to go.

She said:  Did you hear anything I have said?

He said:   I'll get your coat.

She said:  Thank you.


Life can be lonely when we are not clearly present in the life of others.  We can be isolated even when surrounded by others if no one is listening.  We need to find our voice and speak up. 

For a listener to truly hear what you have to say, touch
his or her arm and maintain eye contact.  Be assertive, not aggressive.  Articulate the silence trapped within.  We have the right to speak our truth even if the listener doesn't agree.  We must use our voice!

Even if what we have to say is not important to others, it is important to us and deserves to be said out loud.  We need to learn to be good listeners our selves, as communication is the key to peaceful living.

Sharing with Others

Show me your hands.

Do they have scars from giving?

Show me your feet.

Are they wounded in service?

Show me your heart.

Have you left a place for divine love?

Fulton J. Sheen

Few of us have the means or the funding to save the world, but we are all capable of generating change in our own lives as well as the lives of others.  Giving isn't just about money.  There are many ways we can extend comfort and assistance to others with out spending our savings.

Volunteering is the most obvious way to serve whether it is at a community center, neighborhood school, or local hospital.  If we earmark our favorite things to do then we can orchestrate how to apply this to others. 

If gardening is our delight, we can share our harvest with neighbors or participate with other gardeners in making a community garden.  If we have an artistic flair, we can share our ability with after school or summer programs.  If we have a passion for reading, some libraries have programs for taping a verbal reading to give to the vision impaired.  Teachers, lawyers, accountants and police or fire men are welcomed to assist those less fortunate through community or school associations.  Mentors are always needed, but the ability to listen is a gift in itself.

So give it some thought.  Bake some cookies and share with a neighbor.  Take a favorite child's book to be read to a youngster who has a new baby brother or sister.  Call someone

who is healing or who is alone.  Only we can decide our individual passion and how we can extend it to others.





God is Talking to His People

God sleeps in the minerals,

awakens in plants,

walks in animals,

and thinks in man.

Arthur Young

Years ago, in search for solitude, I secluded my self under some beautiful trees in a large park displaying a  botanical garden with lovely statues and garden monuments.  I sat on my blanket reading my book while writing comments in my journal. 

It was a gorgeous fall day and as the colorful leaves danced to the ground the slight breeze carried the voices of people approaching.  I looked up and saw a family of four coming over the hill closest to me.  The parents were on either side of the two small children and they were all holding hands.   The little boy around the age of five was babbling away as his little sister struggled to keep up with his pace.

I leaned back against the tree waiting for them to see me so I wouldn't startle them, but they were absorbed in their own little bubble of family love.  I watched them pass and saw the little boy break away and shout, "Look!  God is talking to His people!"

I followed the direction of his pointed finger and easily discovered what he had seen.  The sun had been partially covered by clouds, but sun beams were shining down through the trees.  The sun beams indeed seem like tunnels that could easily be carrying messages safely down to those who listened.

Perhaps twenty years or so have passed since then, but this little child's observation remains with me still.  When I drive down the interstate on a partly cloudy day, I will glance in the distance and see sun beams tunneling around the clouds and down to earth.  In my heart, I somehow know that indeed, God is talking to His people! 




Discovering the Temple

What's In The Temple?

In the quiet spaces of my mind a thought lies still, but ready to spring.
It begs me to open the door so it can walk about.
The poets speak in obscure terms pointing madly at the unsayable.
The sages say nothing, but walk ahead patting their thigh calling for us to follow.
The monk sits pen in hand poised to explain the cloud of unknowing.
The seeker seeks, just around the corner from the truth.
If she stands still it will catch up with her.
Pause with us here a while.
Put your ear to the wall of your heart.
Listen for the whisper of knowing there.
Love will touch you if you are very still.

If I say the word God, people run away.
They've been frightened--sat on 'till the spirit cried "uncle."
Now they play hide and seek with somebody they can't name.
They know he's out there looking for them, and they want to be found,
But there is all this stuff in the way.

I can't talk about God and make any sense,
And I can't not talk about God and make any sense.
So we talk about the weather, and we are talking about God.

I miss the old temples where you could hang out with God.
Still, we have pet pounds where you can feel love draped in warm fur,
And sense the whole tragedy of life and death.
You see there the consequences of carelessness,
And you feel there the yapping urgency of life that wants to be lived.
The only things lacking are the frankincense and myrrh.

We don't build many temples anymore.
Maybe we learned that the sacred can't be contained.
Or maybe it can't be sustained inside a building.
Buildings crumble.
It's the spirit that lives on.

If you had a temple in the secret spaces of your heart,
What would you worship there?
What would you bring to sacrifice?
What would be behind the curtain in the holy of holies?

Go there now.

~ Tom Barrett ~

(Keeping in Touch)
 

There is something about this poem that seems to capture my thoughts about transitioning on the spiritual path.  We tend to out grow original belief systems and then struggle to find new words and definitions for what we now hold dear.  We look at other denominations or outside of the organized church.  We may explore other cultures hoping to find a more personal image of God.  We might visit sacred places expecting to be filled with insight. 

All the while, Spirit waits patiently for us to discover the temple within us.  Yes, we need support an guidance from others, but if you are seeking Divine Connection, be still and listen for the whisper waiting inside.  Surrender to the spiritual calling and sacrifice ego which allows us to see God deep within and in all things, as the world is a spiritual kingdom.

Begin ...





It Is I Who Must Begin

It is I who must begin.
Once I begin, once I try --
here and now,
right where I am,
not excusing myself
by saying things
would be easier elsewhere,
without grand speeches and
ostentatious gestures,
but all the more persistently
-- to live in harmony
with the "voice of Being," as I
understand it within myself
-- as soon as I begin that,
I suddenly discover,
to my surprise, that
I am neither the only one,
nor the first,
nor the most important one
to have set out
upon that road.

Whether all is really lost
or not depends entirely on
whether or not I am lost.

~ Vaclav Havel ~

(Teaching With Fire, ed. by S.M. Intrator and M. Scribner)

Humble Exchanges



There is a wisdom of the head,

and ... a wisdom of the heart.

Charles Dickens

Wisdom tends to awaken our minds and pierce our hearts with common words.  These common words vibrate within us, resonating with deeper meaning than what may appear on the surface.  The wisdom may even be words we have heard or read previously, but for some reason, this time they strike with certain significance.  The words seem to come alive, filtering emotionally throughout our body.  We receive insight, inspiration, or perhaps comfort. 

We all have friends we turn to when we need courage or understanding.  These friends are not necessarily trained to be therapists, but somehow they always find words to make us feel better.  It is during these humble exchanges, wisdom often appears.

Words awaken our minds and pierce our hearts during humble exchanges with words of diversified origins.   Wisdom is shared in humble exchanges, as well as passed down through history in storytelling, singing, and the written word.  There is something about being out in nature that calms our minds and opens our hearts to bits and pieces of wisdom. There are so many ways for wisdom to slip gentle words within our hearts and mind.

Wisdom can be attributed to Divine Spirit speaking through each and every one of us whether we are aware or not.  Friends may thank us for sharing something with them while quite honestly, we don't even remember saying it.  Or words may suddenly flow out of our mouths and we have no idea where they came from, but the listener is ever so grateful.   

In this way, we are all messengers.  Divine Spirit uses us as vessels to deliver what needs to be heard just as words written upon on a page can jump alive.  So we must open our minds and our hearts to receive humble exchanges that will deepen our insights and experiences.



A Place of Security

The most common way people give up their power

is by thinking they don't have any.

Alice Walker

 "The Color Purple"

A friend of mine is attending school, has a job, and is an attentive mother to her four children.  Another friend built her own house.  Still another friend raises her own sheep, shears the wool, and spins her own yarn to do her weaving.  We are all blessed with very different gifts and talents which we often times take for granted.



My green thumbed friend has three flower gardens in her back yard.  They are the home for statues, bird houses and pottery.  The flowers and herbs are well cared for and uniquely displayed.   She says that any one could do this, as she continues pointing out plants (the specific name, how much light or shade it needs, and what birds the plant attracts).  I laugh out loud knowing I couldn't be trusted to even water her gardens appropriately!



We view accomplishments of others and we forget to look at our own. We have a tendency to minimize the value of what we can accomplish and maximize the works of others.  We make the false assumption that 'any one' could do what we do as it seems easy to our self, but not necessarily to others.

By recognizing our gifts and talents, whatever they may be as we all have them, we build self-worth.  When we value our self,

we feel empowered.  As we respect our own worth and the value of others, we can all join together without feeling threatened or competitive. 

When we experience this sense of empowerment, we feel secure with our self which allows us to find a place of security in the midst of others.  We all are called to share our blessings and together we can build a peaceful world.

Extending Assistance

The Road

Here is the road: the light
comes and goes then returns again.
Be gentle with your fellow travelers
as they move through the world of stone and stars
whirling with you yet every one alone.
The road waits.
Do not ask questions but when it invites you
to dance at daybreak, say yes.
Each step is the journey; a single note the song.

~ Arlene Gay Levine ~

(Bless the Day, ed. by June Cotner)

 

 

Too easily we forget that everyone we come in contact with struggles with life and life's lessons just as much as we do.  From the outside, it may appear that everyone else has a life of good fortune or ease, but indeed this is not the case.  Outer appearances can mask the true journey within.

 

There is this certain friend of mine who I swear has a direct link to the angels or is an angel in disguise.  Her life is filled with experiences like assisting someone during a fire or catching a baby bird as it falls from a tree.  She is the living definition of a 'verb'.  Spirit seems to be moving her at all times where she may reach out with a helping hand ... definitely she is not a noun, sitting like a lump.

 

My friend has problems of her own as part of the human experience, but she recognizes that we will all prosper by helping some one else when we can.  By extending assistance to others, my friend maintains a compassionate heart.  Her positive affirmative actions with others keep her moving forward rather than isolated in singular despair. 

 

We journey through life with individual lessons, but when we are called to action, to spontaneously help some one we meet along the way, and we answer that call, our inner light grows stronger.  Our connection with others brings the light of Spirit

into the hearts of all.

 

 



Light as an Engery

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle,

and the life of the candle will not be shortened.

Happiness never decreases by being shared.

Buddha

Light is an energy that just keeps on giving.  The more this energy or light is given to others, the more we personally receive.  If we do not understand light as an energy, think of it as love.  We extend love to others and it returns to us in greater depths.

Light is a positive energy giving a vibration that allows us to feel good.  When we receive light, love or energy, it is like a deep hug.  Darkness or anger is a harsh or abrasive energy that gives us the need to turn away.

A simple example would be when we are in a grocery store and we see a small child, so sweet and innocent.  Our eyes may linger on the child extending love.  The mother may be totally unaware of our presence, but the child feels our extended love or light or energy and locks his or her eyes on our face.  The child may be shy or smile or turn and watch you walk away, knowing there has been a brief exchange of love, light or energy.  The same is true with pets or animals.  They sense if we are welcoming them with love or casting displeasure their way.  They react to whatever energy we extend.

We as human beings respond to love, light or energy every day.  If we are pleasant with an obviously stressed out person, it offers them a moment to pause and reconnect.  If we choose to be angry at the stressed person, the harsh energy builds not being healthy for either one of you or those surrounding you.

Begin each day aware of the light, love or energy residing in our heart.  Carry this energy as a beacon of light for others to experience kindness, acceptance or perhaps even courage to move forward with just our smile and good intentions.  We may never see this person again, but whatever goodness we extend, returns to us ten fold.  It will come in unsuspecting ways and more than likely from other people who are simply extending their own love, light or energy. 









Life is a Process

Now I become myself. It's taken
Time, many years and places,
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people's faces,
Run madly, as if Time were there,
Terribly old, crying a warning,
"hurry, you will be dead before -----"
(What? Before you reach the morning?
or the end of the poem, is clear?
Or love safe in the walled city?)
Now to stand still, to be here,
Feel my own weight and density!.....
Now there is time and Time is young.
O, in this single hour I live
All of myself and do not move
I, the pursued, who madly ran,
Stand still, stand still, and stop the Sun!

~ May Sarton ~

(Collected Poems 1930-1993)

 

 

 



It is in gathering years that we can create enough distance to be able to turn around and look back at our life.  Otherwise, we stand so close to life itself, we do not have accurate vision.  When life is right in front of us, it is difficult to see the big picture.

It is with the passing of time deeper meaning can be recognized and applied.  Patterns begin to take form and we slowly catch on to the errors of our ways, and accept responsibility for what we have done or left undone.

Life is a process offering opportunities, transitions, and shifts.  From the beginning, our core is nothing but goodness, but during the process of living, we acquire many masks and falsehoods before we finally become determined to return to our true self.  Layer upon layer of old emotions, experiences, and memories are finally discarded as individual awareness strengthens and Spirit nudges us along.

It is a glorious experience to finally stand in stillness, no longer running from who you thought you were.  Our heart is finally filled with love and compassion and we are discouraged no more.  When forgiveness and healing cleanse the soul, we feel safely embraced by the beauty of the world and a oneness with all that lives within it. 

Do not be in a rush.  It takes time to truly recognize our most beautiful inner self.  Enjoy the journey as life unfolds.



Heart of the Matter



where to start

not knowing how to start,

she sat down and opened her heart.

maybe that's all she needed to do,

over and over again.

Bone Sigh Arts

Could transitions really be that easy, to just sit down and open our heart?  Would just this one gesture ground us into the heart of the matter?  By being still and opening our heart, can balance and resolution just appear?

There seems to be some merit in this approach.  Our ego usually resides in our head, so making decisions through our heart might be a more honest and spiritually guided process.   After all, many of us have learned to 'trust our gut' and have been quite pleased in doing so!  It is said 'gut decisions' have not had time to reach our head where ego selfishly talks us out of the idea.

So when we are faced with decisions, big and small, we can choose to take pause and think with our hearts.  What is best for me?  What is best for them?  What is best for the overall situation?  Our hearts are filled with love and compassion which will assist in our decision making.  In our hearts, there is no room for hatred or judgment.  Spirit dwells within our hearts and surely will not lead us astray.



New Found Joy

When the stories of our life no longer bind us, we discover within them something greater.  We discover that within the very limitations of form, of our maleness and femaleness, of our parenthood and our childhood, of gravity on the earth and the changing of the seasons, is the freedom and harmony we have sought for so long.  Our individual life is an expression of the whole mystery, and in it we can resat in the center of the movement, the center of all worlds.

~Jack Kornfield
A Path with Heart:  A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life



 As children, we keep things pretty simple.  Somewhere along the line we learn to complicate life with drama, addiction, and disillusion.  This may sound sinister, but these very elements are catalysts to assist in the discovery of personal meaning in life. 

Life presents a challenge and we as humans have a variety of reactions:  avoidance, denial, and other levels of complications.
If we would face lessons head on (after careful consideration) they would not necessarily grow as the old proverb indicates, 'making mountains out of mole holes." 

It is wise to do research, but often times we are simply seeking opinions of those who know less than we do.  We also ask  for input from certain people we already know will simply parrot back to us what we want to hear.  For whatever reason, we do not trust the knowledge we have within.

"To thine own self be true," is wonderful advice.  The better we know our selves, the more we trust our inner knowings, the less complicated situations will be.   We can cast off what no longer serves us and embrace the freedom of original thought. Old thoughts, past limitations, and mistakes we have made along the way are only barriers when we preserve them.  Once removed, these old restrictions no longer bind us, and in our new found joy, we can discover a more intimate connection with life and the Divine.

Finding the harmony we have sought for so long, enhances our lives and encourages us to maintain balance.  We create a stronger connection with nature or the arts enjoying the beauty of our world and the mystery of the spiritual world.  We can allow our selves to be free. 

For a New Beginning, John O'Donohue

For a New Beginning

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life's desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

~ John O'Donohue ~

(To Bless the Space Between Us)

The Thread

 

The Way It Is

There’s a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.
You don’t ever let go of the thread.

~ William Stafford ~

(The Way It Is)

The image of life being a tapestry with each of us being a different colored thread, has always captivated me.  Thinking that others with their differing colors have been woven through my life, enhances this held image.

I do believe my life has been created with colored thread weaving through it.  Some threads have faded and some have snagged, while others remain vibrantly beautiful.  Some have stretched through the passing of time, and yet others have only contributed a small accent of color.

My own thread sometimes has been like a thick rope pulling me through stubbornness and strife.  Clear like a fishing line, my thread has often been invisible but weighted to ground me.  During motherhood, my thread was vibrant and strong.  When using gifts and talents, my thread was richly creating designs life long.  In times of sadness, the thread was a life line casting a dark hue, holding me where I belonged.

Do we ever really know where we are going and what lies just beyond the bend?  Do we ever really notice the patterns as they unfold in our head?  Does anyone ever really understand that we are simply led by the thread?



Spread the Light

There are two ways of spreading light:

to be the candle or

the mirror that reflects it.

Edith Wharton

Candles have always mesmerized me.  They have been freely used in my life for much more than celebration.  Candles have held a vigil with me during times of sorrow or loss.  They have honored accomplishments and have been a presence when feeling so alone. 

The dance of the wavering flame always brings a smile.  And it is in the flame that I can get forget about time and space.  The flickering of the flame reminds me of the Sacred Heart of Jesus portrayed in so many childhood images with light extending from the heart.  The brightness of the flame brings to mind the golden auras surrounding angels, saints, and other domains.

Through energy work I have learned to be a vessel of light to be extended to all others.  As the light grows within me, I am able to spread light into the unsuspecting and suspecting hearts of others.  When I am in this light, I too, feel like the flame of the candle.

There are other times when I am only meant to be a mirror, to reflect my inner light outside of myself.  The more we know our inner selves, forgiving and accepting both strengths and weaknesses, the greater reflection we cast. 

Whether candle or reflection, we can spread our light.  The more we walk in the light, the stronger the flame grows.  Light attracts light and so together we can light up the world.

 

 

Don't Compromise

Don't compromise yourself.

You are all you've got.

Janis Joplin

 

It is unfortunate in our early years that our uniqueness is seldom highlighted and often times squelched.  Our parents want us to 'fit in' and we are desperate to be accepted by others. We are so young and we begin to abbreviate or delete very valuable parts of our self. 

We silence our voices, repress emotions, and restrict our selves from being fully comfortable in our own skin.  We sacrifice our personal needs, dreams, and desires to be secure in a group no matter how distorted our original self becomes.

When we have 'sold our soul' for the attention of others, we are no longer feeding our potential and we are starving our inner longings.  When we are starving our selves in this manner, we begin to 'stuff' our selves with food, alcohol, drugs, exercise or other compulsive behaviors.  Ultimately, we wander farther and farther away from who we truly are.

Awareness presents itself differently for each of us, but there is usually an echo of a whisper haunting us ... who am I?  In our own time, we eventually begin the long trek back to our authenticity.  Layer after layer of masks come off in the process of self-discovery.  We find our voice once again, and we reconnect with our heartfelt feelings, no longer numb or invisible in life.  We can recapture our dreams and use our gifts and talents to create a satisfying and original life.

Whatever you do, do not compromise your beautiful authentic self ... the price you will pay is just too high!

Looking Beyond the Title

Each has his past shut in him

like the leaves of a book,

known to him by heart

and his friends can only read the title.

Virginia Woolf

People see only what we allow them to see.  Our childhood reprimands and well intentioned parental directives are safely recorded within.  Shame and guilt establish origin in these very early years.  Parts of our selves get tucked away before they have had time to begin.

Generally speaking, men seem to have the 'buck up' or 'it is what it is' attitude pushing themselves forward, burying emotion and challenge deep within.  Women have the tendency to repress such memories, but like well wrapped china.  They are stored carefully and unwrapped with delicate hands on occasion to be wept over and then returned safely again.

In either case, both men and women repress emotions not realizing how these unresolved feelings drive our behaviors.  If asked about therapy to address the past, men usually respond with something like, "Why would I want to dredge all of that up?  I want to just leave it alone! It is over."  Perhaps women have a higher awareness and are more apt to experience the cracking of the emotional foundation where things can no longer be stored. 

A woman is more apt to drudge through her history as though she were rooting through family heirlooms stacked against a basement wall.  She is willing to sort through water damaged boxes discarding tarnished or shattered pieces that no longer hold any value.  The task may take weeks or months, but when she has extracted what she no longer wants to save, she has fresh new spaces to maneuver through more easily. 

Male or female, we may not be able to sort through our hidden chapters.  We may require the help of a trusted friend or a qualified therapist.  There are a variety of tools to help us such as:   keeping a journal, dream recording, prayer, meditation, contemplation and energy work to name only a few.  Nature is a wonderful container to sit in when we don't want to explore alone or a quiet retreat center or chapel.

Either way, it is human nature to want to use our voice, to be listened to, and to be understood.  Deep inside we long for others to accept us, but if we do not allow trusted others to look beyond our title, to read our pages and in between the lines, we will feel fraudulent.  It is when we open our selves to experience compassion from others that we feel unburdened.  With self-forgiveness love empowers us and our life story becomes a manuscript! 



Target Practice for Kids At The Fair?

We have to choose between

what is right,

and what is easy.

J. K. Rowling

Friday was a perfect day for the fair.  It was overcast and at long last the temperatures were in the 70's.  We visited several of the buildings and checked out the Ethnic Village in anticipation of lunch.  We ran into various friends and ate our way from one end to the other. 

It was during my wandering through the Exposition Building that brought me upon an eye popping sight.  In the back of the building, there was a corner for target practice.  There was a sign that said "NO LIVE AMMUNITION" but the noise of the gun going off startled me. 

There was a little boy, maybe seven years old, firing a gun at the standard outline image of a man.  Seeing this child with a gun in his hand, joyfully aiming and shooting at the target of a man, was bone chilling.  His mother stood near him watching.

Who would promote such a terrible exhibition?  Who would allow such a thing? (This was for children)  Will parents really allow their children to fire a gun, live ammunition or not, experiencing the deadly power of a gun?  This is not about gun legislation, it is about the safety of our children and the trauma or distortion that can accompany the experience of firing a gun.

I worry about our young people as they are exposed to so much violence in our society and news coverage of brutality in other countries, to say nothing of the violence in the video games so many play.  The consequences, I believe, are being displayed across the country.

We spent the after noon watching the races at the grandstand.  As a dedicated 'people watcher' I observed families come and go, wondering if they had been to the Exhibition Building and if these parents were as appalled as I had been. 

Innocent little faces sticky from cotton candy, corn dogs clutched in dirty little hands, and requests of riding just one more ride are the images I want to maintain.  I truly hope that parents will stand strong for what is right and not cave in to the easy inappropriate answer.



Live Your LIfe

A woman has to live her life,

or live to repent not having lived it.

D. H. Lawrence

Lady Chatterley's Lover

 

As a young mother, I was involved in many activities.  I was active in community, church, and social organizations.  As my children grew in number and demands, I realized that I must excuse my self from holding positions or offices in my activities.  I felt good about this decision as I knew one day would come when the children would all be grown and I would once again have time for my endeavors.

As young women, we need to stay in touch with at least one area of interest and then expand that interest or introduce new avenues of expression when the time allows.  Women need to have areas of personal interest to look forward to after  commitments to family and or career lessen.  

As women accumulate years, we begin to rekindle interests or develop new.   If we find our selves thinking, "I always wanted to ... travel ... paint ... study ... visit ... ."  Then do it!  What's holding you back?  Explore and be adventurous.  If there is a will there is a way.  This is your life and it is up to you to live it to the fullest! 



You Do Have To Begin!

"It's impossible" said pride.

"It's risky" said experience.

"It's pointless" said reason.

"Give it a try" whispered the heart!

Anonymous

We invest time and money into education, careers, homes, cars,

children and families, but how much do we invest in our own personal enhancement?  We race to meet the needs of others and yet stumble on our own road towards self-worth.

It's impossible:  I don't have time; the family have to come first; my schedule doesn't allow space; I don't know where to go; I don't know how to do it.

It's Risky:  I might fail; I am embarrassed in front of others; someone might find out; it might change me.

It's Pointless:  I have been this way for so long;  It is too late to begin; I have tried before and cannot do it;  No one will understand;  My family will just make fun of me!

Give it a try:  If this were for a loved one, you would make the time;  Pinpoint your heart's desire and let 'google' do the rest; Allow your self to be a beginner again; If it doesn't work out, you can explore another option; Don't let what others think be more important than what you think;  Change can be enormously positive;  It is never too late to change;  Keep your choice a private adventure until you feel comfortable with disclosure.

Anytime is a perfect time to begin.  How much money do you have to have before you invest in your self?  You are worthy of enhancing even the smallest part of your life.  You don't have to be a professional musician to take lessons.  You don't have to be a ballerina to take ballet or even tap dance.  You don't have to be an established artist to take a class.  You don't have to be a florist to arrange flowers.  You don't have to be published in order to write.  You don't have to be an Olympian to swim.  You don't have to be a yogi to learn yoga. 





But you do have to begin!





Resistance and Change

People don't resist change.

They resist being changed.

~Peter Senge

When life becomes too uncomfortable, we realize the need for change.  We notice that we have lost our passion or our footing is no longer secure or a relationship is deteriorating.  We are aware that by doing the same thing over and over, using the same approach or resolution, the outcome will remain the same. 

With the awareness of needing to change, we begin to explore options that will alter what is no longer working for us.  Too frequently, however, we begin to look outside of ourselves for the change when true change occurs within the self.  With every attempt to change all that surrounds us, we are ignoring the heart of the problem.  We are projecting our issues onto others and expecting them to alter our lives.  Our expectations of others is clearly resistance to our own personal change. 

Friends and family may support us  in our desire to change.  They may encourage us and assist us as long as we don't change our relationship with them.  This is simply a mirror of how we may be feeling ... everybody needs to change except for myself.  This may work briefly, but it is not a long term solution.

It is during self-evaluation we discover what is no longer serving us, what is truly dead to us.  It is similar to weeding a garden.  We must pull out the weeds and deadhead what no longer holds energy so there can be a rebirth.  New growth slowly pushes itself up through new fertile ground.  We must get rid of the old in order to welcome in the new.

Resistance is simply fear.  Our desire for change must be strong enough that we are willing to step through the resistance, the illusion of fear.  When the old has died away and the new has yet to sprout, we will feel very vulnerable.  We will be challenged during this space where the future is unknown, but it is an opportunity to strongly believe in the strengths of the inner self and the good that has yet to come.