Blown Away

Love comes unseen;

we only see it go.

Austin Dobson

We are all multi-sided individuals, creating different sides to one personality.  There are masks to give the appearance of what we are not or to hide what we are.  It is rare that we show all sides of ourselves to one person.

I was thinking of my children and how they would describe me or remember me when I have passed.  They knew me very well as a mother and a grandmother, but what about the other parts of me?

There are those from my career that knew what high standards I held for myself and what ethics I maintained for all people.  Privately, however, they really knew very little about me.

Sisters of my heart, my very dearest of friends, know me very deeply.  They have been present during my anger, pain, and joy.  They have witnessed my unfolding with encouragement and support.  And yet, there is much they do not know.

My daughter, perhaps, knows me best of all having been so constant and loving in my life over the years.  She has seen many sides of me and embraced me when times were very difficult.  The truth remains, she has never walked around in my mind where unexplainable knowledge resides.

As I grow older, I have integrated my private self with my public self by being less public and more out spoken in private.  There is less motivation to be 'known' as I do feel understood, accepted and loved.

There is so much left inside of me however, I feel all of this seeking and recording will have been in vain.  Like leaves falling from the branches of the trees, my most inner thoughts will be blown away by the wind. 

 

An Irish Prayer

An Irish Prayer

May God give you ...

For every storm, a rainbow,

For every tear, a smile,

For every care, a promise,

And a blessing in each trial.

For every problem life sends,

A faithful friend to share,

For every sigh, a sweet song,

And an answer for each prayer.

Savor, Digest, or Destroy

The great end to religious instruction

is not to stamp our minds upon the young,

but to stir up their own.

Not to make them see

with our eyes,

but to look inquiringly

and steadily

with their own.

William Ellry Channing

Eclectic reading presents my mind with a variety of ideas and I have the freedom to pick and choose the information I want to savor, digest, or destroy.  Frequently, I will express my thoughts while working out the facts in my head or waiting for feedback before I make my final decision.

Entertaining my mind with diverse thoughts helps me to continue to stretch and grow.  Expanding my mind enables me

a broader view of things said, accomplished or abandoned.  To remain neutral while accessing information, concepts can be understood without feeling threatened or prejudiced.

The same is true with my heart.  I have had to learn to hold it open not to just those I love.  Compassion and acceptance once established in the mind and heart can greatly add to the learning experience of life.  Our minds and hearts need to remain open.

As an articulate explorer of the written word and human experience, my views perhaps fall from the norm.  My intention is not to make believers out of listeners.  I simply desire to share what I have learned and expect others to embrace whatever resonates within them and to leave the rest.

A dear mentor of mine reminds me, "We have an obligation to speak our truth ... once.  And then let it go."  I write what I hold dear and what happens after that, well ... savor, digest, or destroy!

The Whole Package

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.

I make mistakes,

I am out of control,

and at times hard to handle.

But if you can't handle me at my worst,

then you sure as hell don't deserve me

at my best!

 

Marilyn Monroe

 

I came across this quote the other day, and it made me laugh.  Not at Marilyn Monroe, but at the spin she attached to defining herself.  It seemed up front and honest to point out weakness, and yet maintain appreciation for strengths. 

Our strengths can be our weaknesses, and at times our weaknesses may stand out more than our strengths, but is this not human nature?  A person may criticize a friend for displaying passion for a cause, but that very same person may welcome the friend's same level of passion to assist in a personal crisis.  

We do not have instruments in the back of our heads to regulate our emotions.  Yes, we have an obligation to monitor ourselves, but we also have an obligation to be authentic.  As we slowly move through the sludge in our lives, we may not always perform for the highest good.  It may take us a while to gain momentum or to recalibrate our direction, but ultimately after cleansing, we will shine again.

We eventually learn to recognize our weaknesses, and   hopefully temper them with our strengths.  We want, however, to be embraced in good times and in bad.  We want to be accepted as a whole package. 

We desire a person to see our authentic self and to love us inspite of our imperfection.  A phrase worth repeating, "Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest. It's about who came and never left your side."   We long for a companion to support us when we are ill or dying, not just when we are fun and adventurous.

I can only assume that Marilyn Monroe had many admirers when she was famous and performing.  They were probably present for the parties and road the waves of her success.  When she escaped into weakness or fell into the darkness that eventually overcame her, I wonder where all of the feet were that needed to be standing beside her.



Hidden Gifts

Everything has beauty,

but not everyone sees it.

Confucius

Sometimes when we are just staring off into nothing, we will notice an object taking form in our line of vision.  Perhaps it had been hidden by its very nature or just not seen, but once our interest is peaked the unexpected discovery becomes a gift.

We prejudge by appearances or what we may hear prior to an introduction, so we may miss the hidden gift entirely; but if we open our selves to each experience we very well may discover the hidden value.  

A diamond in the rough or a pearl in an oyster are examples of what I am saying or how about "Don't judge a book by its cover!"  Every single human being is born with unique gifts and talents ... some are obvious, while others not.  Every one we come in contact with has a message for us if we but take the time to experience an exchange.

When a friend transitions from this life into another, loved ones gather and listen to old tales.  We often times hear friends exclaim, "I knew him all of his life, but I never knew that about him!"  There is so much we leave undiscovered when life takes us too quickly through the passages of time. 


Begin to notice everything around you, looking for the hidden gifts.  There may be a bird in the tree, a heart shaped rock by the path or a depth of wisdom in the elderly neighbor.  When we allow our selves to step out of routine, the extraordinary appears.  Life is an adventure and adventure unfolds mystery and mystery unravels the hidden.  Where is your sense of adventure, hmmm?

Daring Greatly

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be
with those timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt
26th President Of The United States

Find two pieces of identically clean paper. The first piece, place untouched in a safe and clean place.

  Take the other blank piece of paper and examine it,

looking at the sheer plainness

and unmarked beauty of the fiber. 

Notice the pristine texture of the sheet. 

Now fold the paper in half, gently. 

Turn the paper around and fold it again, carefully. 

Continue to fold the paper over and over,

creasing the folds heavily. 

Carry it in your back pocket or billfold. 

Shove it in a drawer or with a stash of other papers.
Then when you have almost forgotten about it, retrieve it.

Unfold the paper and notice the creases, discoloration,

and change in the texture. 

Look very closely at all of the wrinkles and changes. 

Now compare the other piece of paper

that had been kept 'safe' and 'clean'.

Which do you find more interesting and intriguing? 

Safe and pristine or weathered and worn?

Read the words of Theodore Roosevelt again.

Slide the Lens ...

 

 

Have you ever wondered why trees

are such a happy lot?

They've mastered patience.

Either that or it's the music they listen to.

THE UNIVERSE

www.tut.com

One day I was so perplexed I decided to take a break and go to my neighborhood park.  I found my favorite thinking bench and watched the water flowing over the well worn rocks in the little stream.  Sorting out my thoughts, I allowed my mind to wander through various scenarios trying to use different perspectives.

I felt very small sitting on the cement bench mulling over what appeared to be large frustrations.  I looked across the stream onto the side of the hill where ancient trees were grouped. Time and nature had taken away much of the dirt exposing the roots that dug deeply into the ground.  This is how I want to be, I thought.  I want to have deep roots so I can securely withstand all kinds of weather.

I removed myself from the park bench and walked several feet down to the bridge leading across the stream.  When I reached the other side, I climbed up the steep hill and wandered through the trees until I found a favorite one.  It had such a demanding presence with its height and enormous canopy of leaves. 

I leaned against the trunk of the tree as I sat amongst the gnarly roots.  I looked back across the stream to where I had just been and from this elevation the bench looked so small.  I felt limitless in the midst of the mighty trees and sitting very still, blended right in.

From my hidden place on the hill, I watched a young couple visit the bench across the way. They talked and laughed totally unaware of my distant presence.  I found myself wondering if this was how Spirit felt watching our daily lives without us being aware.  I felt an immediate shift in what was significant and how I was to proceed.

This experience reminded me how small I could feel when overwhelmed by problems and tried to solve them alone or how balanced I could be if I simply elevated my awareness to include the presence of Spirit.  Life appears through the perspective we decide to use and if we but remember to gently slide the lens, we will discover an expanded view.

Unwrapped From Swaddling Clothes

I had become, with the approach of night,

once more aware of loneliness and time ~

those two companions without whom

no journey can yield us anything.

Lawrence Durrell

Leaving 60 degree weather in Nashville, Tennessee was not as difficult to do as I anticipated my visit to Illinois.  I drove through

terribly strong winds as tornadoes whipped across the sky.  My hands remained white knuckled on the steering wheel and I was stressed out by the concentration it took to remain solid on the road.  Now two days later, safely in Illinois, it is 17 degrees outside with snow on the ground.

Although the sun is out and the snow does look pristine, I notice a sense of loneliness seeping into my soul.  It is such a contrast to the elevated awareness I maintained in the warm south.  It is amazing to me how much the weather impacts my disposition.

The time here seems to have a pace of its own, more demanding than when I am alone.  More considerations and distractions call for organization and structure, neither in place when at my home.

When my daughter was younger, I used to tell her it was easy to be a Christian when attending church on a Sunday.  The true test came in how you lived the following days of the week.  Perhaps this is part of what I am experiencing.  It is easy for me to have this elevated awareness or a strong sense of spirituality while I am spending my days in quietude uninterrupted by the presence of others or distracting noises such as the television.  Now in the absence of all that is familiar, with others present and an abbreviation to my personal time, I have greater difficulty maintaining my spiritual connection.

It occurs to me the reason for my sense of loneliness stems from the loss of feeling oneness with everything around me.  I have been extracted from the warmth of my comfort zone, like a babe unwrapped from swaddling clothes. 

My resources are not within my reach nor are old journals near by.  My favorite old chair no longer holds me and the window for bird watching simply isn't here.  Which is it ... have I grown inflexible and too set in my ways or has my appreciation for my created space grown deeply into my core. 

There is much to be said for sacred space, the personal arena where we feel safe to grow or an environment where we can feel vulnerable and take the chance of being wrong.  But perhaps in growing too comfortable we run the risk of not interacting at all.

Tomorrow the temperatures will rise, the snow will melt, and I will walk again breathing in the sky, birds, and trees.  This loneliness will leave surely as the dark night will pass, and with the rising of the sun my spirits will once again soar.

I See The Moon ...

 

How many more times

will you watch

the full moon rise?

Paul Bowles

(1910-1999)

 

The full moon has mesmerized me on many occasions.  I have frequently felt a longing while watching this glowing globe gently move across the sky and when my life seemed to be chasing me, I have danced in its shadow.

In my profession, a full moon was an indicator that most things would not run smoothly and people (especially children) would be extremely hyper. The presence of the full moon seemed to bring a different frequency of energy into the air.

Like many things, the moon has grown more important to me as I pass through the stages of my life.  As a child, the moon was intriguing and as a young adult it was a pocket to hold my thoughts.  As a wife and mother, the moon would deposit insights into my heart. 

Loving nature as I do, I have explored myths, folk lore, and stories about the feminine energy of the moon.  Many nights I have placed my bare feet upon the ground and extended my arms to embrace the light of the full moon.  There is an undescribable connection luring women to dance in its very presence.

I wonder how many times I forgot to look up and appreciate the fullness of the moon. Has my life been so fast moving that I have missed the beauty and mystery of all it surrounds?

The moon in its full glory was present when I sat on a Wisconsin pier acknowledging the necessity of ending a relationship.  It was hanging in the sky while I walked in a midwestern field, lonely and wondering if I would ever be in relationship again.  The moon hovering over Maui inspired me to fully embrace my desires.  Floating down the Current River, the moon was a guide in safe passage of the night. In Tennessee, the moon reminded me of my personal strength to move forward into the unknown. 

In these later years, the moon is both an internal and external  presence in my life.  The vibration of its energy is a current running through me.  It reminds me of the saying, "I see the moon and the moon sees me!"



 

Fulfilling Needs

For it was not into my ear

that you whispered,

but my heart.

It was not my lips 

that you kissed,

but my soul.

Judy Garland

We all need to have attention on some level.  We need to be noticed to validate our very presence in the world.  A simple simile from a passing stranger or a kindness reflected in a quick eye glance.  An isolated comment between strangers can have more significance than we could ever imagine.  


Isolation can be debilitating and it is happening to children, adults, and the elderly.  Children are bullied or not chosen to be a part of a group.  Perhaps parents are hard working and too exhausted to have meaningful exchanges.  The elderly may be surrounded by others, but frequently withdraw into themselves.  Isolation is not only physical.  It is emotional and spiritual as well.

Adults as well as children need affection.  We all need that physical touch whether it be a handshake, hug, or a massage.  Years ago, children spent hours sitting on the laps of their elders or families cared for isolated neighbors.  In many situations now, we may not even know our neighbors and our relatives could be living in an entirely different state.

It is fun to be in a grocery store or library and randomly compliment a stranger.  Maybe the color they are wearing brightens them up or perhaps they remind you of someone else. Any simple recognition lifts kindness into the face of the lonely. Sincerely thanking a clerk in the check out lane or a server cleaning off your table at a restaurant can acknowledge a job well done no matter what level of skill.

We all long to be accepted.  For some it may be politics, family, relationship or career, but sadly, many long to be accepted just as a human being.  We all want to feel connected or to feel like we belong whether it is to family, club, specialty group or the human race.

The first step in fulfilling needs is simply recognizing that we have them and then acknowledging that needs deserve to be met.  We are worthy in spite of poor choices or our age.  We are never too young nor too old to meet our needs.  

We need to be  mindful of our words as they so often go directly to the heart ... ours included.  We need to be appropriately generous with our affection as it kindles our souls.  In freely extending attention, affection, appreciation and acceptance towards others, our needs will be met in kind.

  

Be a Beginner ...

Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.

--Meister Eckhart

This morning as I was waking up, I was delighted to see the sun shining.  Darkness had carried away the storms of the night, calmed the winds and grumblings in the sky.  I could hear the birds celebrating the spring like morning while anticipating the warmth of a sunny afternoon.  As my eyes adjusted, I noticed in the back area of the yard a bush opening its newly sprouted leaves.  Spring Equinox is just a few days away and I long for the winter to pass so a new season can begin.

As I continue gazing out my bedroom window, I notice my neighbor with his garden tools.  He is working the ground and planning where his vegetables and flowers will grow.  It seems that he is excited for this new season of growth and eager for the rewards. The neighbor on the other side is spreading grass seed in his yard.  He, too, has anticipation for the arrival of spring. New beginnings are just that way.

Realizing I am probably the only one on the block still in bed, I drag myself up and indulge in my first cup of coffee.  I sit on the back porch breathing in the fresh morning air and allowing the sun to warm my pale white feet.  I know I will hunt for my sandals today and begin the transition of putting away heavy clothes and dragging out spring delights.

With birds singing in the background and the sounds of neighbors tinkering in their yards, I open my awareness in hopes of collecting morning inspiration.  I breathe in fresh air and slowly breathe out heaviness.  Three times I do this before I feel my body relax and my heart open.  My mind finally quiets and I can miraculously blend with all that surrounds me.

Winter is very symbolic for me.  It represents my tendency to hibernate and withdraw.  It has been cold almost harsh at times with struggle and challenge at my door.  In seclusion, I am forced to review what resides within waiting to be discarded or refurbished.  It is necessary and yet painful at times to make way for the new by letting go of the old.  What may have seemed dark and damaged in the darkness of winter, however, may now appear bright and beautiful in the warm sunshine and rain.  Rain will come and cleanse emotions, preparing me for the new growth of each beginning day.  

I will once again be a beginner this spring, embracing as much as I can.  I promise to trust in the unfolding of life and have faith.  In the summer I will tolerate any heat tending to wilt my spirit, and remain eager to discover the fruits of my labor come fall.  

  

Masculine and Feminine

There is a collective force rising up
on the earth today,
an energy of the reborn feminine ...
This is a time of monumental shift,
from the male dominance of human consciousness
back to a balanced relationship
between masculine and feminine.

Marianne Williamson




Eastern culture teaches us there is a masculine and feminine side to each living person. Masculine elements associated with the right side of the body could be described as assertive, powerful, cerebral, giving, determined ... qualities relating to the career or approach to business in your life. Our feminine side associated with the left side of the body could be described as gentle, creative, receiving, emotional, intuitive, embracing ... qualities relating to relationships in our lives. So each of us has
a masculine and feminine side no matter what gender we happen to be.

Ideally, we balance both parts, masculine and feminine within ourselves. As a woman, there are times when we need to be aggressive and driven, just as there are times we need to be gentle and creative. As a man, there are times when we need to be tender and loving, just as there are times to be strong willed. Whether we are a man or a woman, it is beneficial to be able to swiftly move between both sides and to not be stuck just in one side. 

If we are a survivor, perhaps we had to stay very masculine and hide our feminine side. A man may not feel safe expressing his emotions when he is fighting for his family's livelihood. A single mom may have to stay very masculine to compete in her field of business. But if we stay stuck in a masculine adrenaline push, a toll is taken on our body. We strip our gears or simply burn out. We must initiate balance, allowing for the body to release stress and rekindle the spirit.

If we become stuck on the feminine side, we do not have good boundaries to protect our selves or even our families. We can be overcome by emotion or depression that keeps us small. It is then we need to use our masculine side to reach out for resources, avoiding the role of victim.

The same holds true not only personally, but in relationship between men and women. As our culture evolves embracing diversity and offering balance or equality to gender, ethnicity, and diversity, we more fully grow into our full self. It is okay for a man to express or demonstrate appropriate emotion, just as it is acceptable for a woman to be driven by her career. If we all respect each other and honor each others decisions or choices, the climate of our culture becomes far more supportive and nurturing.

Ultimately, the male and female needs to be in harmony not only within the body but within the culture as well. By honoring each other and by respecting the spirit of an individual, our spirit soars.

 

Vacillating Duality

Light is meaningful
only in relation to darkness,
and truth presupposes error.

It is these mingled opposites
which people our life,
which make it pungent, intoxicating.

We only exist in terms of this conflict,
in the zone where black and white clash.

~Louis Aragon



Spiritual/Material
Acceptance/Critical
Fluid/Rigid
Humble/Ego
Blessing/Rejection
Give/Take
Honor/Disrespect
Recognize/Ignore
Wonder/Worry
Dream/Repress
Creative/Stagnant
Embrace/Abandon
Freedom/Freeze
Opportunist/Victim
Rebirth/Death
Energy/Lethargic
Depth/Transparent
Laughter/Tears
Joy/Solitude
Cleanse/Decay
Forgive/Bitterness
Oneness/Isolate

Walk into the darkness of your soul,
bringing light to what is hidden,
so that you will fear no more.

The Escape of Little Birds

The quiet man filled with worry kept shaving while his soul kept whispering beneath his reflection:

Loving yourself is like feeding 

a clear bird no one else can see.

And once in a great while 

if someone loves you enough

they may see her rise

from beneath your fear.

 

AS FAR AS THE HEART CAN SEE

Mark Nepo

To love someone is an act that seems to come easily, but to love our selves ... well that's a lot more challenging.  We are our own worst enemies and we judge our selves more harshly than any one else.  When referring to someone else, we lavish compliments and point out gifts and talents.  In discussion of our selves we are more apt to focus on our weaknesses.  

"You must love your self before you can truly love another," was a statement I heard as a young person.  It totally did not resonate with me.  Loving my self? How was that going to happen? I was too busy trying to convince other people to love me while attempting to become whatever they needed instead of being my original self.

As time passes, we learn there will be others who will never like us let alone love us.  We come to understand the false goal of seeking acceptance from all peoples.  Time turns us inward to our authenticity and it is up to us to learn to embrace it.  Once we begin to like who we are we eventually learn to love our selves and not care so much about meeting expectations of others. We turn to our own desires and dreams creating a passion which suddenly seems to be pulling our lives together.  In loving our true selves, we attract others to us. 

When we learn to embrace both our weaknesses and strengths, it is easier to accept others in their totality.  As we learn to be 'comfortable in our own skin', those around us become comfortable in theirs as well.

NAMASTE` is an ancient Sanskrit blessing meaning:

"I honor the place in you

where spirit lives.

I honor the place in you

which is of love, of truth, of light, of peace.

When you are in that place in you,

and I am in that place in me,

then we are one."

When we are able to develop this Sanskrit blessing into a way of living, we experience love in many forms.  It is in this NAMASTE` approach we just may catch a glimpse of little 'inner' birds escaping from beneath undisclosed fears.

Screaming on the Inside ...

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.


Steve Jobs
Charismatic pioneer of the personal computer revolution
 (1955 ~ 2011)




We each have an obligation to speak our truth, clearly and accurately. We have been given a voice for this specific reason,to express ourselves at every level of being human.

It is interesting to me that the throat is situated between our heart and our head, a perfect location to blend emotions with thoughts and to connect with the Divine. When we do not use our voice, we are not allowing our energy to flow nor are we honoring our inner self. We become repressed on many levels.

Little thought is given to the possible damage to our throat and voice through the careless use of alcohol, drugs, and unhealthy foods. Keeping silent is just as damaging as screaming and yelling. Consider how we physically feel while driving in our car, singing along with the radio. Now allow the feelings occurring after we have been yelling or screaming. It is not very difficult to figure out which is the healthy action.

As children, perhaps we were told, "Children were to be seen and not heard." Maybe we were taught early that we did not have worth, so we remained silent and adapted to the idea that we had nothing worthy of saying.

If we had elders in the home, we may have been blessed with storytellers or kind souls willing to listen to our words. We may have gained not only respect but the freedom of articulation and an openness to hear our inner voice. Otherwise, we become a silent child ... well, silent on the outside and screaming on the inside.

Our ability to articulate impacts the amount of energy in our bodies. Again, we find the body, mind, and spirit connection. All three work together and by doing so supplies energy to the highest capacity.

By allowing Divine to contribute to our thoughts and emotions, articulation lifts us to a stronger sense of all things being related. We feel a force that all humans have as well as every living thing in nature. Energy or force can also be felt and registered in rocks, earth, or other materials we do not normally consider to be alive.
Think of the forces found in water or air or fire.

Once we allow ourselves to be changed by the strength found in speaking our truth fully, we find a new sense of vitality, beauty, and passion for life. We feel totally connected to the positive forces in life and embrace others with compassion. By being true to our selves, we encourage others to do the same. Our new found energy can be felt by others and the like~hearted will be drawn to us.

Try to create a few affirmations.


"Words of integrity flow from my heart"

"Truth brings calm and energy"

"Communication with Spirit inspires"

"I love and respect all parts of my self"

 

Arriving Where I Began

We shall not cease from our exploration

And at the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.

T. S. Eliot

In the last few years, I believe I have become content with the knowledge I have rather than continuously seeking new.  I will always love to read and welcome new thought, but no longer will I be searching.  While exploring what I have gathered, I realize that all of the messages are the same, just spoken in different ways.  It is now time to practice all that applies.

Perhaps it is a simple transition from searching outside to going within my own true nature.  The more I honor my inner self, the less compelled I am to pursue other information defining who I am.  The transition, although simple, can feel threatening as I give up old definitions and old ways of thinking.  Any time I step into the new, I feel discomfort and even fear until a new comfort zone is established.  Once I embrace all that I hold to be true, I know that I have arrived back to my original starting place which I will now call home.

Realizing that my spirit is perfect, created by Divine, the need to reinvent my person fades.  Taking strides to perfect presentations or to master writing is enjoyable but no longer a requirement to secure who I am.  As spirit does not change, the discomfort stemming from change is created by the masks or false identities we strive to create and maintain.

It has taken a life time to override the teachings of being a sinner and a lesser than female.  It has taken a life time to become proud of my authentic and creative approach to life.  I am no longer driven to discover an identity that will be accepted or approved of by others.  I am simply me ... the same beautiful soul that began this journey so long ago.

Self-Sabotage

As the long night slowly yields to day,

I, too, surrender to my next step

Which carries me toward

My natural state of limitlessness.



Danaan Parry





Every day of this week, I have been hoping to have a solid time for writing. I have this idea in my head that needs to get down on paper before it floats away as quickly as it arrived. It is a great thought and I keep adding color, feeling, and substance to it. Each day, however, something gets into the way.

So this morning I awaken, knowing that the day is absolutely free! I can get up, put the coffee on and begin my journey through the written word. I can finally write to my heart's content.

This doesn't happen. I sort laundry, brush lovely Hannah our Golden Retriever, wash out the bowls for Trudy the Tuxedo cat, dust mop floors, run the vacuum, and think about tackling the linen closet that seems to be in disarray. 

This is clearly self-sabotage! I need to give myself permission to create the time and space for my artistic or creative expression. Self-worth is certainly laced into this scenario. All of the roadblocks I have been placing in my way are just distractions. This hesitancy I feel is nothing but fear.

The ego laughs at its ability to mess with my mind. It whispers, "who do you think you are?" It creates images in my head of others invalidating my work. I know this old trick and I must quickly step through this self-imposed fear before my ideas evaporate into thin air.

I open the back door, slip off my shoes and stand on Mother Earth. I let her energy run up my legs and restore my energy. I look at the birds flying freely, flowers pushing themselves up through the ground, and the beautiful blue sky. I breathe in the crisp calm air and release my stagnant thoughts. 

I am ready now. Once again, I am excited to share my words even if they never get read. It is what I do. It is what brings me fulfillment and joy. I am happy to be me!

 

Alignment ...

maps

"there is no map.

you gotta write your own.

you gotta carve your own.

you gotta sweat, cry, grieve, laugh

and love your own.

and when you are all done,

that's all that will have mattered."

Bone Sigh Arts

                                                                         

Life could have been so much easier if we had been born with a personal navigation system. It could be advanced, of course, indicating not only what roads to take, but which relationships to cultivate, what schools to attend or employment to choose, and preventive health measures. Maybe in addition to a voice directing us, there could be bells and whistles to indicate when we were veering off course. Yes, maybe there could be some programmed affirmations rather than just hearing a woman say, "recalculating" after we've missed the turn.

Navigational systems are simply a reflection of how our culture relies upon outside sources. Information must be gathered for furthering mankind. Input from others is valuable to test and redefine theories. I have deep respect for the power of research providing understanding, application and advancement. However, all must be tempered by the guidance and insight we can receive from within ... harm no one.

We do have an internal navigation system. It is the voice inside of us, guiding us if we would but listen. The little voice of big wisdom has been called various things for endless generations: intuition, gut feelings, angels, or Divine Intervention.

Navigating through life, I have of course used available resources, but how many times have I said, "I should have followed my gut!" There are many memories of following some one else's advice only to later learn how it ultimately advanced their purpose and not my own. Instances can be recalled when I was so strong willed that I ignored my own inside voice in addition to the educated voices of others. (Note to self: trip didn't go so well!)

Tears and laughter as well as loss and gain are all an integral part of living this physical life. One unfortunately needs to know the one in order to appreciate the other. If we trust our inner guidance, however, we still experience difficult situations, but without the deeper drama and tearing of the soul.

During this time of my life, I find it vital for my body, mind and spirit to be aligned. In order for me to navigate around curves in the road, climb steep hills, and travel through seemingly unlit passage ways, I must feel inside all things resonating in relation to my purpose and kindness to others. Alignment makes for a much smoother ride!