Honestly and Gently

'The most fundamental aggression to ourselves,

the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves,

is to remain ignorant

by not having the courage and the respect

to look at ourselves

Honestly and Gently."

Pema Chödrön

 

As the holidays settle in, we may find ourselves being spiritually and emotionally exhausted.  This comes upon us as no surprise as we have been through the hustle and bustle of this season before.  Commitments in all forms multiply at work, school, family and friends to say nothing about our own desires.  Time takes flight and the race is on.

In addition to the building demands, we also strive to keep our best masks on as no one wants to be seen as a scrooge.  So our repressed feelings and frustrations continue to build behind our masks.  We don't want to yell or cry.  We don't want to demand or criticize.  Perhaps, all we need is a little evaluation, honestly and gently.

We can best  serve ourselves by discerning which expectations have been self-imposed and what actions will enhance lives rather than deplete spirit.  Do we really need to bake numerous kinds of  cookies for our neighbors or can we give ourselves permission to bake mini loaves of bread to share?  Will our children remember the crystal chandelier hanging in the dining room or the extra hours their father shared with them?  When we think back to our childhood holidays, do we remember the presence of spirit in our hearts and our homes or do we remember our parents running around like lunatics trying to work in every opportunity of community, work, family or gathering of friends.

When we are children we think when we grow up we will be so happy to be our own boss.  Then we grow up and discover choices are based upon many aspects besides our personal desire.  In spite of some things being out of our control, however, we can make choices that best serve us and relinquish the rest.  Just let go, gently and honestly.  The holiday gift will be peace in our hearts.