"We numb our minds and heart
so no one need not be broken
and the other need not to be bothered."
Peggy Haymes
Pain is pouring from my heart into my belly. I am ignoring it as I do not have the energy to address it. I am numbing my emotions as I cannot bring myself to use my voice at the risk of hurting others. My arms simply refuse to reach out, as I want to bother no one.
Being a martyr has no gain. Excess emotions fuels the belly and the flames begin to roar. I wonder how long I can avoid my regression as the tongues of the fire engulf my heart. There is a hot burning in my throat, as the inner critic continues its damning chant.
Aware of the power of choice, I ponder how to change my perspective. I wonder what lovable creation can be mastered with the ashes that remain. I think of the great wings of the Phoenix rising from the flames, but in my midst are small scattered feathers drenched by rain.
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