Escape the Madness

Writing is a form of therapy;

sometimes I wonder how all

those who do not write, compose or paint

can manage to escape the madness,

melancholia, the panic and fear

which is inherent in a human situation.

Graham Greene

Coping skills are abundant.  There are a multitude of options at our finger tips that happen to be free.  The difficult part is remembering to use them!

Here is a quick list of suggestions:

Lonely ... Get outside in nature, call a friend to meet

                 for a walk, or volunteer.

Angry ... Exercise in your home or briskly walk in your

                neighborhood park.  Write down all of your

                feelings and then burn the paper.

Overwhelmed ... Stretch with a yoga dvd, prioritize with

                             an outline, and use time management.

Bored ... Begin a creative project to keep or give away.

               Knit, crochet, quilt, or scrap book with old photos.

No Interest ... Venture to a local library and inquire about

                         book clubs or visit a hobby/craft shop.

Burned Out ... Massage your hands and feet.  Soak in a            

                         hot bath with music and lighted candle.

                         Rekindle an old passion like dance, musical

                         instruments, art or photography. 

An easy way to help yourself is to make a list of personal affirmations.  Keep the list in your purse, journal or by the bed.  Slowly and thoroughly, read through these chosen affirmations constantly until you believe every single one.

When we find our selves 'stuck' in a particular situation, we too easily forget the power we have to help our selves.  By nurturing the body it relaxes and calms the mind.  When our mind is not distracted, we can more readily hear guidance and be open to insights.  We all can escape the madness!

                         

A Personal Fortress

Each of us in our own way, has constructed a personal fortress to protect our self from the harsh world into which we found ourselves thrown.  To survive, we prostituted ourselves in some way.  We sold out on who we are and denied what we are here to do.  We made compromises with our integrity, said yes when we meant to say no, and gave ourselves in ways that demeaned our sacred gifts.  Some of us even came to believe that defense and denial were all that life was about, leaving us to wonder why we are even here.

Meanwhile the tender child within us lives.  The innocent, trusting being has survived all of the holocausts, and rests secure in a harbor untouchable by the winds of outer change.  The child did not die;  she or he just took refuge until it was safe to come out again.  Place that child in an environment of trust and love, and watch it come to life.  There is no greater joy than to reclaim the tendersness of innocence.

I HAD IT ALL THE TIME
Alan Cohen



For some who read this, tears will be shed while others may only feel a slight resonance to the meaning of these words.  Nevertheless, we are all called to lay down our sword and to remove our armor.  It is time.  It is time to let the past go. 

We all have an inner child in need of nurturing.  We can talk to that child who was once left unprotected and affirm now as an adult, we will personally protect and unconditionally love her or him.  Something we could not do earlier in our lives. 

During creative visualization, incredible work has been done. Documentation reflects there are those who find their inner child to be very vocal and angry to have been ignored for so long.  Some people have seen themselves interacting with their inner child: rocking in a chair, reading stories, or singing to soothe frayed nerves.  One woman visualized giving her inner child a cleansing bath and then taking her outside to play in the sunshine after being hidden within for so long.  Another brought their inner self into a garden of vibrant flowers allowing the child to pick a bouquet.

Hindsight provides all types of wisdom, but in the present moment we simply did not have this knowledge or we would have acted entirely different. There is a saying I find to be very healing. You did the best you could do at the time with the information you had.

In life, there seems to be either good or poor choices and sometimes the good choices turn out to be mediocre and questionable choice may turn out to be a stoke of genius.  How do we ever know?

It is hard to lay down your armor and sword after being a warrior in life, but it is a wise and worthy choice.  It is frightening to stand without protection as vulnerability is most uncomfortable.  Take some deep breaths and welcome life in.  Step out of the fortress and create your heart's desire!

Finding Safe Passage

The heights by great men

reached and kept,

were not attained by sudden flight,

but they,

while their companions slept,

were toiling upward in the night.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

In my late twenties, I was reading a book that supported the idea of re-framing our language to change our self-assessments and general out look on living.  The substitution of words that impacted me the most were "I made a mistake," instead of "I failed."  Somehow, I had been thinking that every time I did not succeed or perform to the best of my abilities, I had failed. Failing carries a great deal of pressure and judgment whereas making a mistake is correctable and forgivable.  

Several months ago, I was reading an inspirational message suggesting the substitution for the word "worry" with the word "wonder."  I thought I would give it a try, and once again I felt a definite shift in how these two words impacted me.  The word worry is frequently accompanied by stress, anxiety, and tension.  The word wonder is light, creative, and positive in nature.

Now enters Dr. Wayne Dyer who distinguishes between the two words beliefs and knowledge.  "Beliefs," Dr. Dyer explains, "are notions we acquire from the outside world -  judgments and world view of those who influence us.  Knowledge, on the other hand, proceeds from within.  We know what we know because we know it, and it has nothing to do with what anyone else tells us or does."

The difference between words can alter the cadence of our life.  By re-framing through the choice of using words that are accurately defined and less harsh, alters how we feel about our selves and the world we live in.  For example, the word "sin" is derived from a Greek archery term meaning "to miss the mark." How in the world did this word get so twisted into a threat of being condemned to hell?

We choose our words carefully.  We try not to offend.  We speak in a way that others will understand us and accept us.  And the more we do this, the farther we grow away from our own truth and identity.

I had been selected to be a part of a team to present an inspirational message to an audience of emotionally and spiritually wounded human beings.  I was very excited about this opportunity and I gathered several of my favorite books to be used as resources.  I quickly made an outline that would include all of the support the audience would be wanting to hear.

The team met for a preliminary meeting and the chairman, a man I greatly respected, examined our outlines and accompanying notes.  I knew he would be very pleased with my expertise.  After he read through my material,  I could tell that in his hesitation he was trying to find the best words. 

This kind gentleman looked me right in the eye and said, "These are wonderful facts based in psychology and sociology, but I want you to go home and write from your heart."  I was stunned.

Eager to do my best, I immediately picked up my pen and started writing based on my feelings from personal experience.  I wrote what I felt was a definite part of my self.  I understood that the listeners would not be hearing from my professional self, but from my own wounds and healing.

At the weekend retreat, I did not find my self to be nervous.  I was uncomfortable with allowing my self to be so vulnerable, but I was willing to be open.  I asked spirit to use my words to comfort all who were present.

The end result was overwhelming.  Without referring to one note, I spoke to the hearts of each person present.  I offered encouragement and the promise of living in the light again.  There was not a dry eye in the audience when I ended with, "It is not enough to know God's love, we must be God's love."  I have 'no' idea where those words came from other than the knowledge that dwells within us.

So when we are crossing a bridge from one section of life into the next and a fog seems to settle in, we can think about the impact of our words.  We must choose our words wisely from our heart as we work steadily to improve our life.  The fog will clear, the sun will rise, and we will find safe passage once again.

 

Remaining in the Womb ...

Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us,

and glimpsed the follies, and misfortunes

that would befall us later on,

we would all stay in our mother's wombs.

Lemony Snicket

When I was a young adult, it was probably a good thing I did not know what was loitering in the hallways of this classroom called life.  As a seasoned adult, I look back and wonder how I had the resilience to accomplish all that I have.  


If we were given an itinerary at birth, and applied organizational skills and well thought out goals with outcomes, we certainly would still fall short of the expected mark.  How could we possibly maintain focus for all of time?


I do not believe we are predestined, that there is a specific detailed profile for us as we have freedom of choice which allows us to stray all over the map. I do believe there is a gentle outline of expectations or lessons we need to learn with a variety of ways to accomplish this.  I sometimes have compared my life to a billiard game where I am the ball bouncing off one post into another until I reach the needed destination.

And what about second chances?  If I were shown all of the errors of my ways and given another chance at life, certainly I would not make the same mistakes ... I'd end up making new ones ... and maybe they would be worse than the first!

It is a good thing I do not have control over the mechanics of this existence named life.  I believe Spirit allows me to wander from my intended path, yet ultimately I am guided back to where I need to be.  Sometimes it seems as though I am on a scavenger's hunt, collecting parts of myself from one place and then another. 

I do not believe I would have preferred to remain in the womb.  I don't do well in crowded places and need to be out in the sun. I am fairly impatient and get bored if I cannot relax into walking or reading.  And good grief, how would I write or worse yet, talk!  No, life has unfolded better outside of the womb.

All Parts of the Self ...

Be gentle with your self.

You are a child of the Universe.

Max Ehrmann

Life has many blessings, but we find ourselves usually on guard, prepared to protect our children, health, livelihood, and personal selves.  The challenges we face in our lives can come unexpectedly and we want to be ready.

Unfortunately, we often times get stuck in this protective mode when we need to most comfort or nurture our selves.  It is too harsh for the body, mind, and spirit to remain in an adrenaline rush.

Too frequently, we forget we have many parts to our selves and each needs attention.  We will say we do not have the time, but I say, you cannot afford to not take the time.

Instead of staying tightly knotted into a bud, we need to let our selves gently unfold, one petal at a time.  To release our full fragrance or vibrancy we must expand.

To do this we must be aware of our total self and what parts make us whole.  We should be able to reflect a playful side, an innocent curiosity like that of a child.  We can allow our selves to appear unknowing as we do not have every answer nor can we be all things to all people.  Certainly we all hide our pain taking it in stride, but we also can be cognizant of how others learn through our sharing the stories of loss or pain.  Lastly, we too often take our gifts and talents for granted. 

It is a typical scenario for one friend to say to the other, "How do you do that?  It is beautiful!  I could never do that."  (This can pertain to sewing, singing, gardening, cooking, art, decor, style or professional skills, etc... )  The response is always a minimization of the talent.  The other friend says, "Oh anyone can do this.  It is easy!"  It is easy for them as it is their gift and they think anyone can do what they do. 

Wisdom gathers over the years and we eventually learn to honor all parts of ourselves in areas where we once thought we would be boastful or selfish.  Vanity and pride are not what I am referring to here.  We must see the blessings in our lives and share them with others.  In each moment, we must be present with all parts of ourselves, not prepared just for protection. 

Let the tightly woven bud closing over all of our unique aspects, gently open.  Let the sun shine unfurling our petals expressing and displaying the beauty within.  Honor the Universe by honoring what we have been given through sharing with others.  We are children of this Universe and we need to be just as gentle with ourselves as we would be with others.

Three Chairs for Therapeutic Insight

We may define therapy

as a search

for value.

Abraham Maslow

While attending a class for learning therapeutic tools, I was introduced to the Three Chairs.  Each chair represented a particular behavior and a person could sit in one chair or move around in all three chairs.  During the presentation, it was easily understood how a person could spend minutes, hours, or a lifetime in any one chair or randomly using all chairs.  

The Child's Chair: seats us when we are being demanding, expecting immediate gratification, acting unreasonable or emotionally out of control.

The Survivor's Chair:  seats us when we are in 'fight or flight' mode, rigid or considering just two options like right or wrong accompanied by an adrenaline rush with the desire to run. 

The Adult Chair:  seats us when we decide to 'sit' with our issue and discover the many options that may be at hand.  Both sides of an issue are explored and resolution is paramount, but appropriate time is allowed for all to unfold. 

In the front of the class room three chairs were labeled: the Child's Chair, the Survivor's Chair, and the Adult Chair.  Each student took a turn in front of the class, sitting in the chair that best represented the part of the issue being shared. As the story progressed, the storyteller moved from one chair to the next helping to identify how thoughts were being processed.  Chairs were not used in any particular order and students progressed or regressed back and forth. 

When we are faced with a complexity of life and find our self reacting instead of responding, we can use the image of the three chairs:  Child's Chair ~  I was spoiled or the youngest child or I only received attention through childish fits of behavior;  Survivor's Chair ~ Life required me to protect myself, to be strong and prepared to run for safety;  Adult's Chair ~ I am perfectly capable of addressing my needs in the present moment without acting in childish ways or being defensive. 

Which chair am I sitting in?  This simple question triggers immediate insight.  The goal, obviously, is to move into the adult chair for healthy processing. 

I find the Three Chairs technique to be user friendly.  It is easily applied and the results are amazing!  When used, it brings a higher awareness of when we are reacting instead of thoughtfully responding.  Give it a try!

Losing the Thread ...

He who every morning

plans the transactions of the day,

and follows that plan

carries a thread that will guide him

through a labyrinth of the most busy life.

Victor Hugo

Perhaps this is my problem, losing the thread that would otherwise guide me through the labyrinth of my life.  I do not like structure after a long life of limits and boundaries.  I quit wearing a watch around 5 years ago as my day has an altogether different cadence without it.  Sometimes I think twenty minutes have flown by when in fact it has been an hour and a half!  Then in other parts of the day, I think I have wasted too much time exploring, but in real time only minutes have passed.

I am amazed when I recall my mother declining an invitation to play the card game Canasta because she had to clean the house.  Are you kidding me?  If I even think someone might call, I am ready to jet!

Not having this thread would explain why my day so easily unravels.  I will have wonderful intentions, but my focus seems to shift as I wander from room to room.  I'd like to think of this lack of discipline as spontaneity.   I am open and willing to change course with the slightest of ease.

Without the entanglement of this thread, I am much more apt to just go with the flow, to allow myself to be called, and to be where I need to be.  I don't suppose there is a right or wrong, just a choice of how you might want to be.

Rewards Will Come

 

When one door closes,

another opens;

but we often look so long

and so regretfully upon the closed door

that we do not see the one which has opened for us.

Alexander Graham Bell

Years ago, I was the director of a private agency by the name of OPEN DOORS.  This facility was given this particular name as I was committed to opening doors to those who were not able to do so on their own.  I assisted others, especially women, in stepping through doorways they couldn't personally see. 

OPEN DOORS was a message to all peoples for all situations.  No one was ever turned away, although some were referred to other resources.  The key to moving forward was clearly in seeing options.  If a person cannot see choices, they remain a victim.  Even when limited, if there is choice, there is motivation to take the next steps.  Movement creates necessary action to reach a better place. 

Once we make a decision, we feel better and no longer feel stuck.  Our self-esteem can be restored and hope brings the possibility of a brighter future.  I have been privileged to be present in the lives of others as they pass through a new opening.

Let there be no mistake, we must be prepared to walk through an opening door alone.   We must take our own steps and find our own way.  When we allow awareness and insight to guide us, in time, rewards will come our way.

Finding Equal Happiness

How passionately we love everything

that cannot last:

the dazzling crystallory of winter,

the spring in bloom,

the fragile flight of the butterflies,

crimson sunsets,

a kiss,

and life.

Dean Koontz

Brother Odd

Yesterday was an euphoric entry into the magical rhythms of spring ... sunshine bursting, flowers radiant, green grass begging for bare feet, sweet fragrances floating in the air ... and all was well in my world.

People in the community were holding their hearts open in celebration of spring.  Everyone seemed to be a bit more kinder and polite towards each other by holding doors, offering smiles and seemingly happy to be alive!

In search for a few new pieces to spruce up my spring wardrobe, I encountered, much to my surprise, a professional friend I had not seen for twenty years.  She looked wonderful as she shared her accomplishments and excitedly embraced my career reporting.  I felt connected to my successful past which brought joy into my present.

When I returned to my car and settled into the driver's seat, I noticed something on my windshield.  "Oh no," I thought,  "not a ticket to ruin this perfect day!"  I climbed back out and ripped the paper from behind the windshield wiper.  What could this be?  Upon closer examination I discovered the lovely handwriting of a neglected friend.  Oh how I wish I had seen her!  Her quickly written message made me miss her all the more.

Upon arriving back at the house, I bustled in vibrating with all of the energies from this lovely spring day.  Writing in my journal,  I leisurely expressed my thoughts about the unfolding of this spring day.  I sadly realized that this foray into spring bliss, as other things I surely love, couldn't sustain these feelings much longer.  

The sun would once again sink into the horizon, and the graceful appearance of the moon would glide across the star lit sky.  Begrudgingly, I would leave the porch swing and find my way to bed.  I would place my fantasy spun memories to rest in hopes of finding equal happiness tomorrow.

One Unsuspecting Day

You cannot forget if you would

those golden kisses

all over the cheeks of the meadow,

queerly called dandelions.

Henry Ward Beecher

Liberal US Congregational minister

1813-1887

I admire the determination of the dandelion, determined to break through the crack in the sidewalk or appear in the midst of a pile of rocks.  I believe dandelions are like God or Spirit. They never give up, always push through, and poke up in the strangest of places.  The same could be said for the human spirit.

Most adults become disgruntled over the discovery of a beautiful yellow dandelion growing in the yard.   Yard keepers struggle in an attempt to grow a delicate flower, but easily wipe out this sturdy bud of yellow with harsh chemicals. On the other side, watch the face of any child fill with glee upon picking this little indestructible flower.  Danelions are frequently a mother's first bouquet.

I have never considered this bright yellow burst of joy to be a weed.  I like how it is thickly tufted and soft to the touch.  I remember as a child rubbing a dandelion under a friend's chin to see whether or not they loved someone. If the chin turned yellow, then validation was secured!

As in all things, however, the beautiful flower ages.  The head of the flower thins and eventually turns white.  I like to take the time to examine this flower at this stage, as an intricate pattern can be found displayed. 

And isn't this just like our lives as well?  In our youth so strong and vibrant and then we slowly advance to a delicate ball of fluff.  I make this observation kindly and mean no disrespect at all.  In time one grows comfortable with the idea that one day, one unsuspecting day, Spirit will gently pick me up and blow all my cares away.

Be Little No More

Sitting quietly

Doing nothing

Spring comes

And the grass grows by itself

-Zen proverb

Yesterday, I was out of town eating lunch with a friend.  I excused myself to use the restroom.  Once in the privacy of the bathroom, I noticed a brochure propped up by the sink.  There was quite a bit of writing on the front cover, but somehow the main words jumped out at me. In bold letters it said:

God is Large!

You are little.

There was a time in my life that I would have agreed with what was being inferred.  Not today, however, nor any other day. 

God/Spirit/Universe, whatever word is used to describe the Deity of all things, resides within all peoples.  With God dwelling within, all humans are powerful and extraordinarily creative. 

We are limited only by our own small thinking and self-imposed limitations.  God encourages the discovery of our true worth.  God does not wish us to think of ourselves as being small.  We are expected to be filled largely with love, kindness, and compassion.

We are all free to embrace personal faith, to trust where we are lead, and to discern truth within words.  Through our intimate experiences, we gather meaning in life. 

When I have embraced God in all aspects of my life, and listened to the voice whispering in my heart, my life has unfolded almost magically.   On the other hand, when I have followed my ego with lesser integrity, the results have been quite mediocre. 

Life is filled with challenge and lesson and no one is spared.  When difficult things occur, it is not because we are being punished ... it is just life ... and frequently provoked by man and not God. 

God loves all of us.  God desires us to use all of our gifts and talents to empower ourselves and others.  God knows no limitations and has endless creativity for us to use and depend upon.

How can any living thing be filled with God and not be magnificent!  We are anything but small unless we allow someone or something to overpower us. 

If we look closely, we will discover God sprouting in all things Spring.   Sit quietly, do nothing, and watch the grass magically grow.  Breathe in all of life and feel little no more!

New Beginnings of Spring

The cool wind blew in my face

and all at once

I felt I had shed dullness from myself.

The birds were singing.

It was spring.

Burl Ives

 

Spring is here and I feel as though I have just awakened from a long winter's nap.  The birds are all singing and the grass is greening while the flowers are making their debut.  Once again I feel a joy, a connection with all of life.  I am ready to begin again, to plant seeds and nurture them for creative growth.  My energy is coursing through my body and I am excited to move forward again!


On small slips of paper, I have written down all of the 'shoulds' in my life (I should attend ... I should call ...) and placed them in a small brown paper bag.  I went out to the garden and buried the sack below the rich garden soil.

There is newly found freedom in letting these 'shoulds' go.  A heaviness has been lifted and I excitedly wonder how my life will grow.  I want it to unfold without structure or obligations, to just gently flow. 

I long for Spirit to move me through the mysteries of nature and into the creative silence I have known as bliss.  During the day, I will wait in the white wicker rocker with sunshine on my face.  I will linger on the porch swing of the evening, watching as the moon slowly glides across the sky.  Even in dream time, I will maintain an awareness for the new beginnings of spring.

I'd Like To Dance

Listening to your heart is not simple.

Finding out who you are is not simple.

It takes a lot of hard work

to get to know who you are

and what you want.

Sue Bender

The premature arrival of spring warms my face and heart.  For the first time in a long time, I feel my inner self awaken with stirrings of new growth.  I must have been frozen in time during the winter, and I believe the ice is beginning to thaw.

Heavy coats are no longer needed for protection and by taking off my hat, my ears are hearing much more clearly.  And without the bitter cold winter winds, my eyes have a much brighter perspective. 

The sweet sounds of spring are encouraging me to accept the challenge and to master the lesson so new seeds can be planted this spring.  My face embraces the sun and its warmth heals all that needs to be forgiven ... especially my own doings.

There is freedom when I cast my shoes aside and place my bare feet on the greening grass.  Joy pumps up through me, and quite honestly ... I'd like to dance.

Blown Away

Love comes unseen;

we only see it go.

Austin Dobson

We are all multi-sided individuals, creating different sides to one personality.  There are masks to give the appearance of what we are not or to hide what we are.  It is rare that we show all sides of ourselves to one person.

I was thinking of my children and how they would describe me or remember me when I have passed.  They knew me very well as a mother and a grandmother, but what about the other parts of me?

There are those from my career that knew what high standards I held for myself and what ethics I maintained for all people.  Privately, however, they really knew very little about me.

Sisters of my heart, my very dearest of friends, know me very deeply.  They have been present during my anger, pain, and joy.  They have witnessed my unfolding with encouragement and support.  And yet, there is much they do not know.

My daughter, perhaps, knows me best of all having been so constant and loving in my life over the years.  She has seen many sides of me and embraced me when times were very difficult.  The truth remains, she has never walked around in my mind where unexplainable knowledge resides.

As I grow older, I have integrated my private self with my public self by being less public and more out spoken in private.  There is less motivation to be 'known' as I do feel understood, accepted and loved.

There is so much left inside of me however, I feel all of this seeking and recording will have been in vain.  Like leaves falling from the branches of the trees, my most inner thoughts will be blown away by the wind. 

 

An Irish Prayer

An Irish Prayer

May God give you ...

For every storm, a rainbow,

For every tear, a smile,

For every care, a promise,

And a blessing in each trial.

For every problem life sends,

A faithful friend to share,

For every sigh, a sweet song,

And an answer for each prayer.

Savor, Digest, or Destroy

The great end to religious instruction

is not to stamp our minds upon the young,

but to stir up their own.

Not to make them see

with our eyes,

but to look inquiringly

and steadily

with their own.

William Ellry Channing

Eclectic reading presents my mind with a variety of ideas and I have the freedom to pick and choose the information I want to savor, digest, or destroy.  Frequently, I will express my thoughts while working out the facts in my head or waiting for feedback before I make my final decision.

Entertaining my mind with diverse thoughts helps me to continue to stretch and grow.  Expanding my mind enables me

a broader view of things said, accomplished or abandoned.  To remain neutral while accessing information, concepts can be understood without feeling threatened or prejudiced.

The same is true with my heart.  I have had to learn to hold it open not to just those I love.  Compassion and acceptance once established in the mind and heart can greatly add to the learning experience of life.  Our minds and hearts need to remain open.

As an articulate explorer of the written word and human experience, my views perhaps fall from the norm.  My intention is not to make believers out of listeners.  I simply desire to share what I have learned and expect others to embrace whatever resonates within them and to leave the rest.

A dear mentor of mine reminds me, "We have an obligation to speak our truth ... once.  And then let it go."  I write what I hold dear and what happens after that, well ... savor, digest, or destroy!

The Whole Package

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.

I make mistakes,

I am out of control,

and at times hard to handle.

But if you can't handle me at my worst,

then you sure as hell don't deserve me

at my best!

 

Marilyn Monroe

 

I came across this quote the other day, and it made me laugh.  Not at Marilyn Monroe, but at the spin she attached to defining herself.  It seemed up front and honest to point out weakness, and yet maintain appreciation for strengths. 

Our strengths can be our weaknesses, and at times our weaknesses may stand out more than our strengths, but is this not human nature?  A person may criticize a friend for displaying passion for a cause, but that very same person may welcome the friend's same level of passion to assist in a personal crisis.  

We do not have instruments in the back of our heads to regulate our emotions.  Yes, we have an obligation to monitor ourselves, but we also have an obligation to be authentic.  As we slowly move through the sludge in our lives, we may not always perform for the highest good.  It may take us a while to gain momentum or to recalibrate our direction, but ultimately after cleansing, we will shine again.

We eventually learn to recognize our weaknesses, and   hopefully temper them with our strengths.  We want, however, to be embraced in good times and in bad.  We want to be accepted as a whole package. 

We desire a person to see our authentic self and to love us inspite of our imperfection.  A phrase worth repeating, "Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest. It's about who came and never left your side."   We long for a companion to support us when we are ill or dying, not just when we are fun and adventurous.

I can only assume that Marilyn Monroe had many admirers when she was famous and performing.  They were probably present for the parties and road the waves of her success.  When she escaped into weakness or fell into the darkness that eventually overcame her, I wonder where all of the feet were that needed to be standing beside her.



Hidden Gifts

Everything has beauty,

but not everyone sees it.

Confucius

Sometimes when we are just staring off into nothing, we will notice an object taking form in our line of vision.  Perhaps it had been hidden by its very nature or just not seen, but once our interest is peaked the unexpected discovery becomes a gift.

We prejudge by appearances or what we may hear prior to an introduction, so we may miss the hidden gift entirely; but if we open our selves to each experience we very well may discover the hidden value.  

A diamond in the rough or a pearl in an oyster are examples of what I am saying or how about "Don't judge a book by its cover!"  Every single human being is born with unique gifts and talents ... some are obvious, while others not.  Every one we come in contact with has a message for us if we but take the time to experience an exchange.

When a friend transitions from this life into another, loved ones gather and listen to old tales.  We often times hear friends exclaim, "I knew him all of his life, but I never knew that about him!"  There is so much we leave undiscovered when life takes us too quickly through the passages of time. 


Begin to notice everything around you, looking for the hidden gifts.  There may be a bird in the tree, a heart shaped rock by the path or a depth of wisdom in the elderly neighbor.  When we allow our selves to step out of routine, the extraordinary appears.  Life is an adventure and adventure unfolds mystery and mystery unravels the hidden.  Where is your sense of adventure, hmmm?

Daring Greatly

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be
with those timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt
26th President Of The United States

Find two pieces of identically clean paper. The first piece, place untouched in a safe and clean place.

  Take the other blank piece of paper and examine it,

looking at the sheer plainness

and unmarked beauty of the fiber. 

Notice the pristine texture of the sheet. 

Now fold the paper in half, gently. 

Turn the paper around and fold it again, carefully. 

Continue to fold the paper over and over,

creasing the folds heavily. 

Carry it in your back pocket or billfold. 

Shove it in a drawer or with a stash of other papers.
Then when you have almost forgotten about it, retrieve it.

Unfold the paper and notice the creases, discoloration,

and change in the texture. 

Look very closely at all of the wrinkles and changes. 

Now compare the other piece of paper

that had been kept 'safe' and 'clean'.

Which do you find more interesting and intriguing? 

Safe and pristine or weathered and worn?

Read the words of Theodore Roosevelt again.