Dissolve Avoidance

"Get quiet.

Breathe deeply.

Go inside where

the feelings live.

Describe what's there."

SARK

As an extroverted story teller, I distracted others from my pain.  I added humor and "VOILA" avoidance was attained.  Little did I know,  how deeply dark emotions were building within me, weighing me down.   Unworthiness and self-loathing eventually took its toll.

On one occasion, I was sharing a family story like a comedy routine which was guaranteed to stir  laughter.  My wise and trusted friend, Judith, asked me, "Yes, but how did that make you feel?"  This inquiry stopped me dead in my tracks and the protection of humor fell away.  No one had ever inquired as to how I felt.  I felt nothing but pain.

I  began to slow down,  breathe deeply  and connect with my feelings.    It was uncomfortable and  often painful, but once my burden was touched by light, it began to dissolve ... through artistic measure, yoga, energy work and journaling.  The feelings of worthlessness began to transition into the discovery of my  true self.