Edge of Darkness

"Allow your self room: to know and 

to grow towards the light."

SARK

The quiet moments of my years have prepared me for this forced isolation.  Expanding a love for writing and reading, silence became an offered blessing.  The difference, however, is that kindred spirits no longer interrupt the silence to kindle my fires.   Safe gatherings to uplift and support in  the physical no longer remain an option.  

My spiritual strength became compromised as shadows crept inappropriately near by.  Not realizing my compromised boundaries, I wandered into the edge of darkness where I normally would not have strayed.  Too easily I was lured into the depths of shallow thinking, stirring distrust and fogging reality.

There is great difficulty in reaching out when we are in the depths of self-criticism and loathing.  There is bliss in being able to regurgitate the worst while a loving friend listens and embraces with love.  Spiritually supported choices bring light to our perspectives, so as a means of prevention, heighten communication with the Divine and your lovely self.  

Invisible Net of Love

"The circles of women around us weave invisible nets of love

that carry us when we're weak, and sing with us

when we are strong."

SARK

As women gather, they tend to save a space for someone who will not be attending.  Although there is not a physical presence, the absent person continues to be threaded through conversations.  There is a bond women enjoy, holding them close throughout differences of opinion, challenges, and the craziness of the world.

A circle of women offers a place where authentic voices and crazy expectations can be revealed without fear of judgment.   (Laughter yes; ridicule no.)  The circle becomes a safe haven where it is okay to  be wrong and applauded upon positive completions. 

If we gaze into the faces of our women friends, we can catch glimpses of our selves, reflections of our own stories, and the absence of right or wrong.  Their very presence is woven into the tapestry of our unfolding stories.  We are reminded of how each of us are different, yet connected in an invisible net of love.

Dissolve Avoidance

"Get quiet.

Breathe deeply.

Go inside where

the feelings live.

Describe what's there."

SARK

As an extroverted story teller, I distracted others from my pain.  I added humor and "VOILA" avoidance was attained.  Little did I know,  how deeply dark emotions were building within me, weighing me down.   Unworthiness and self-loathing eventually took its toll.

On one occasion, I was sharing a family story like a comedy routine which was guaranteed to stir  laughter.  My wise and trusted friend, Judith, asked me, "Yes, but how did that make you feel?"  This inquiry stopped me dead in my tracks and the protection of humor fell away.  No one had ever inquired as to how I felt.  I felt nothing but pain.

I  began to slow down,  breathe deeply  and connect with my feelings.    It was uncomfortable and  often painful, but once my burden was touched by light, it began to dissolve ... through artistic measure, yoga, energy work and journaling.  The feelings of worthlessness began to transition into the discovery of my  true self.