When I read biographies of people such as Nelson Mandela, I marvel at what personal courage he maintained while facing fear every minute of the day. Although my fears are not physical nor rarely real, they can be threatening and paralyzing.
The responses I once used as coping skills were fight or flight. Since I had never allowed my self to ever display or express anger, flight was pretty much my go to response. Flight does not always have to be a physical act. It can be an emotional withdrawal as well. When I am unable to cope and become overwhelmed, I experience what is called freezing ... like a deer caught in headlights. Even though I may have numbed my self from on coming pain, I emotionally get stuck and cannot move in any direction.
The good news is I can now identify these actions as soon as I engage them. When mindful, I can side step fight, flight and freeze, by redirecting my self to support, encouragement, and emotional safety. It is okay to reach out to a trusted friend or respected therapist. Gathering old journals, I can find other times when I had allowed self-worth to slip away. I read several entries in my own writing to re-experience the successful actions I chose, restoring my self-esteem. Lastly, I self-nurture ... bubble bath, massage or energy work, trip to a book store, coffee with a kindred spirit, or wander in nature.
It is important for me to track this cycle, knowing it may return again. It is valuable to me just to express my self exactly as I feel, so that when I revisit these writings, I will be reminded of my own personal courage, vulnerability, and endurance which ultimately creates hope.
The responses I once used as coping skills were fight or flight. Since I had never allowed my self to ever display or express anger, flight was pretty much my go to response. Flight does not always have to be a physical act. It can be an emotional withdrawal as well. When I am unable to cope and become overwhelmed, I experience what is called freezing ... like a deer caught in headlights. Even though I may have numbed my self from on coming pain, I emotionally get stuck and cannot move in any direction.
The good news is I can now identify these actions as soon as I engage them. When mindful, I can side step fight, flight and freeze, by redirecting my self to support, encouragement, and emotional safety. It is okay to reach out to a trusted friend or respected therapist. Gathering old journals, I can find other times when I had allowed self-worth to slip away. I read several entries in my own writing to re-experience the successful actions I chose, restoring my self-esteem. Lastly, I self-nurture ... bubble bath, massage or energy work, trip to a book store, coffee with a kindred spirit, or wander in nature.
It is important for me to track this cycle, knowing it may return again. It is valuable to me just to express my self exactly as I feel, so that when I revisit these writings, I will be reminded of my own personal courage, vulnerability, and endurance which ultimately creates hope.
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