Rubbing Feet ...

Loneliness is the most terrible poverty.

Mother Teresa

  

There is a young college woman who has grown very dear to my heart.  She is poetic, quick humored, brilliant, compassionate and beautiful ... none of which does she acknowledge.  In spite of her college requirements and athletic commitments, Maddie always seems to find ways to be helping others.  She casually mentioned the other day her latest adventure.  She is volunteering at a shelter for the homeless where there is a foot clinic.  While wearing gloves, she washes and massages these homeless feet.  She commented upon the outward physical and marginal emotional changes generated by her humble actions.


As a child, my father randomly rubbed my feet as he mindlessly watched television. The memory of these occasions gifted me not only with attention and affection, but pure physical relaxation.  As an adult, I loved rubbing the feet of my children from infancy through adulthood.  My foot rubs have extended from my kids to grand kids, to friends and those I have encountered along the way.  


Over the years my career led me to be a director of differing programs: nursery school, day care center, social services, seniors, and eventually an Alzheimer center.   In each setting, I gave foot rubs. No matter what the age, when I looked into the eyes, I would see a lonely 'child' needing human touch.  


Reflexology is the mastering of foot massage, but anyone can rub feet.  There is no training necessary or costly tools. Just find some lotion or oil and a small hand towel. You can begin on your own feet and immediately begin to feel the wonderful results.  There are many unsuspecting folks to choose from, young and old alike, so get busy.  Think of my dear friend Maddie while you bring some needed tenderness into the lives of others. 

Wandering Down The Path Of Life ...

If we did all things

we are capable of,

we would literally

astound ourselves.

Thomas A. Edison

We have free will and so we may wander from a Divine plan, making wrong turns and false assumptions.  Eventually, life leads us back to where we belong.  We retrieve knowledge as we cycle in and out of lessons in life and hopefully try to apply what we know.

The course in life is best traveled if we have some idea of where we are wanting to go.  It is necessary to identify our dreams and desires before we set off traveling into parts unknown.  To keep balance, we also need to keep an open mind and be willing to alter our route.

As we travel, having a mentor can be pivotal and frequently the most authentic voice to listen to is the one deep inside.  By remaining connected to the Divine, life blends together in a more synchronized way.  

Sometimes the road we follow does not lead us where we thought we were going.  Did we miss a turn or take a detour?  To be aware of our attitude and actions while navigating can be the best compass we will ever need.  Consequences frequently are set into motion by our own careless actions.

We need to be well grounded in our life, to have a certain sense

of who we are and who we will serve.  If we are well balanced, connected, and grounded, we can wander anywhere and be delightfully inspired by the presentations before us. 

Hidden Silences

One of the tasks of true friendship

is to listen compassionately and 

creatively to the hidden silences. 

Often secrets are not revealed in words, 

they lie concealed in the silence 

between the words 

or in the depth of what is 

unsayable between two people. 

A BOOK OF CELTIC WISDOM 

~John O'Donohue 

Anam Cara 

No matter how diverse a circle of women, an unseen bond secures the circle. Over time, each woman in the group experiences the opportunity to articulate the silence dwelling within her heart. Even when fear holds words captive, the women offer understanding and encouragement embracing any unspoken declaration.

When we are separated from our friends, time passes, and life moves on. Then we find ourselves joyfully visiting one or all of our friends and the conversation seems to pick up right where it left off.

There is something endearing about looking into the eyes of a 'sister of the heart' and experiencing a special knowing that silently passes between you. A voiceless communication transpires securing the bond of the relationship.

In a circle of women or in the presence of a dear friend, one does not always find appropriate words. Women capable of listening with compassion to what is not being said is a greater gift than being 'silver tongued'. Even if the women do not totally understand each other, their simple presence brings comfort.

Having a place to sit with our hidden silences is priceless. When we feel totally accepted there is a restoration of spirit. We have newly found courage to move forward once again.

Beautiful and Brave

Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only

waiting to see us once beautiful and brave.

Rainer Maria Rilke

This morning I opened my eyes becoming happy with sun

shining through the bedroom window.  I listened to the birds in

the bush chirping away with some deliberate clip, repeating it

over and over.  Did the birds think I would understand what 

they were saying if they repeated it enough?  Trudy, our Tuxedo cat jumped up on my bed, looking at me as though she

were wondering why I was still lounging in my pajamas.  She too was curious with the birds so she sat at the head of the bed, 

nose pressed to the window trying to see them.  She looked at me and began her cat language which I didn't understand either.  She became very insistent in her 'meow' as though surely I was not so stupid as to to not understand.

 I closed my eyes again, and visualized a lovely brook with crystal clear water rippling over marbled pebbles.  I listened to the gurgling water and the sounds communicated a peaceful feeling within.  Freely I breathed in life and easily breathed out what was troubling me.

We are bombarded by messages all day long and actually all night long.  The information comes to us from the media, our jobs, family and friends, plus everything surrounding us.  Our dreams bring us information as well as our thoughts.  In science there is discovery of telepathic communication between animals and we know there is telepathy between humans.  Is much of our thinking just rethinking acquired thought and how much of it is is obtained through the concept of collective thinking?  What percentage is original thought?

The other day a friend was sharing some information she had written in her younger years.  She was laughing as the same material was now published by a different author and identical to her own.  Do we all have access to the same information stored within and we simply don't excavate it? 

Sometimes I visualize Universal Intelligence or Divine shaking a formless head as I once again don't get the message.  I see this All Knowing Spirit communicating to surrounding angels saying, "No, we need to try something else.  She didn't get that either!"  Then they devise a new way of once again presenting the information to me.

How many messages do we miss?  How many opportunities float by us without us giving them the smallest glimpse?  How much inspiration falls by the way side as we fear our dragons rather than embracing the sweet voices of princesses waiting to ignite our passion?  

At what point in life are we willing 

to become beautiful and brave?

Nothing Without The Other ...

"Just as the wave cannot exist for itself,
but is ever a part of the heaving surface of the ocean,
so must I never live my life for itself,
but always in the experience
which is going on around me."

Albert Schweitzer

I can hear the waves rushing in and the soothing sounds of the water returning to its source.  Watching this movement of coming and going mesmerizes me.  The sun reflected off the water blinds me into reverie as the sunshine gently slides across my body.  My only reminder of reality is the sand rubbing across my soles.

Thoughts frequently rush in, and then slowly fade, returning to wherever they originate.  In meditation this receiving and receding lulls me into a trance.  My heart glows with the connection to all things and the warmth spreads all the way down to my toes.

Experiences with the ocean like the experiences with the inner, integrate all parts of me, creating the sense of being limitless and empowered.  All these parts of me blend together allowing me to be my best so I may offer a sense of calm to all who may surround me.  One being nothing without the other ...

Multiple Choices

No one else can ever make your choices for you.

Your choices are yours alone.

They are as much a part of you

as every breath your will take,

every moment of your life.

 CHOICES

"100 Most Important Life Choices"

Dr. Shad Helmstetter

Life is constant change and with each change choice is made.  It is imperative that we make our choices and not allow some one else to do so.  Well meaning family or friends or bosses have important and valid input, but we get to make the choice, not them.  Remember there is lesson in every choice as this is how we learn.

We may think we have no choice in the matter which translates into we cannot make a different choice ... we are pressured or frightened or not yet prepared to take the educated risk.  If we make a personal choice, perhaps we will be cut out of the family will ... is that the lesson, to do without dependence on someone else's fortune?  The family may say when we follow our desire, we will be disowned ... is this a lesson in love?  A lover may tell you that no one else will ever love you as much as they do, but the little voice inside of you is screaming to leave ... is this about allowing people to have power over us?

There are so many parts to making a choice.  We educate ourselves by listening to others or observing life or taking note of history, but ultimately, the truth of a decision resides within. What other choices people make are simply alternatives to be considered.  It is frequently the build up to the moment of decision that stresses us out. The actual choice can feel liberating, right or wrong after the agony of deciding.  

Some choices are very easily made, while others are so much more challenging.  If the right choice is not obvious, then take more time to sort through what would be best for you.  When my children were younger, they used to rush in and interrupt whatever I was doing, wanting an immediate answer to their request.  Here is what I learned to say:

      

     "If you need an answer right now, it is no.

       If you give me some time to think, it still may be no,

       but there is a better chance for it to be yes."

In careers we are frequently backed into a wall where we feel like there really isn't much choice at all, but there is always choice.  The choices might not be the ones we want, but they are there.  Some choices are made simply to please others. Eventually we realize by saying yes, we may be making the other person's life easier, but ours much more difficult.  Once we start having better boundaries and making better decisions, we feel better and more capable.

Choices can be very impulsive and fun.  Others may be heart wrenching and nearly impossible.  Still others may be accidental.  Throughout the day, we make endless decisions ... when to get up, what to wear, what to eat, which road to take, who to call, how to prioritize or organize, and when to stop or go. The choices are endless.

Multiple choices, however, are all exercises in using your voice, empowering your spirit, and aligning your mind, body, and spirit.  Take a few moments and review your life and you will see the impact of your choices or lack thereof.  

Get Over Your Self ...

Walk toward the door that is opening,

rather than clawing at the one

that is closing.

I HAD IT ALL THE TIME

Alan Cohen

Frequently, I have pondered the disconnect between being born with an incredible sense of my spiritual self, and then forgetting it all while becoming focused only on my physical self.  A child has wonderment, insight, and wisdom with deep appreciation for nature, only to be trapped in a materialistic world.

Alan Cohen is one of my most favorite authors.  He has written numerous books and they all seem to speak to me.   In his writing of I HAD IT ALL THE TIME, he discussed the shift from the spiritual self to the physical self in childhood.  It was all so obvious once I read his reflections and blended them with other insights.

Prior to this incarnation, we are spiritual beings with the Divine, the Universe, Spirit or whatever deity is foremost in your belief system. This spiritual being is the 'self' and a portion of this self takes form in this material existence on earth. While on earth, self plays many roles and wears a variety of masks, but behind it all, it is still the 'self'.  We are not our personalities nor are we the images projected on to others.  The self is still part of the spiritual being.

Once we have taken physical form, our language begins to reprogram who we really are, causing us to forget our spiritual identity.  Our caretakers frequently phrase comments in terms of the physical.  They might say, "What have you done to your self? Did you burn your self? Don't touch your self!"  What would have been more accurate is "What have you done to your arm or leg or body? Did you burn your hand? Don't touch your body!"  Can you sense the difference? Slowly we shift away from being a spiritual self into identifying with our physical body as self. Splitting hairs you may think, but I disagree.

"Get over your self," is a popular phrase, but it is impossible to do so.  You will always be self in the spiritual sense.  It is the ego that you need to get over. Your ego is not the self, but the many masks and projections that have been created in the physical.  It is all of the parts causing you to feel fraudulent.

Our physical bodies need to be nourished, nurtured, and cared for as they are our vehicles on this earth.  Our bodies host our spiritual self while experiencing a physical experience.   Our true self is love, energy, and light.  This is the story of old passed down through centuries and revered by many cultures. 

It may be time for you to close the door on what no longer reflects your true nature.  Turn to the opening door offering new beginnings.  Move towards the light or the sacredness that can be found in this life.  

Your true nature or your true self resides behind the life we create. Your true spiritual self is sacred loving kindness and so much more.

Through Incalculable Myriads of Millenniums

       

"I did not begin when I was born, 

now when I was conceived.

I have been growing, developing, 

through incalculable myriads of millenniums.

All my previous selves 

have their voices,echoes, promptings in me.

Oh, incalculable times

again shall I be born."

Jack London

THE STAR ROVER

It has been written a new born brings universal knowledge into this world and our culture, unlike others, stifles it out of them at very early ages.  Little ones seeing the spiritual world around them are generally told it is nothing but their imagination.  The unseen helpful souls present with the little ones are categorized as imaginary friends.

We laugh at the creative stories young ones tell, wondering where they get all of these crazy ideas rather than speculating if these are a recall of past life experiences.  Young children frequently hear through adult lies and become reprimanded for being rude if they bring this awareness to the adult.

Young folks see visions, hold memories, and extend conversations with those who remain unseen to our eyes.  We tell them their experiences are make believe.  So very early on, our children learn not to trust what they believe to be true.  They question their own reality.

Last evening, I was blessed with the opportunity to sit with a beautiful baby girl.  I had been present at her birth one month ago, and I now marveled at all of the changes she had already gone through.  Sweet, sweet baby child, so innocent and pure.

Cuddling this infant close to me, I so dearly wanted to learn from her.  I longed for her to be my teacher, and to explain what she already knew to be true.  I silently encouraged her to remember all that she could and to believe unwavering in all that she held dear.

I will be present in the life of this new spiritual being having a physical experience, letting her become familiar with my spirit and energies.  In months to come, this little soul will babble, explore her fingers and toes, and become aware of the world surrounding her.

I will silently commune with her and eagerly await her early words and phrases.  I will intently listen to hear what she says and to whom she speaks.  I will be mesmerized by the stories she'll tell, possibly reflecting a very old soul.

I will patiently observe the unfolding of this beautiful little spirit with anticipation for all she will teach to me.  Her eyes will sparkle and her heart will shine.  Perhaps she will even remember me from some other time!

Parts of My Hermit Self ...

Which is worth more,

a crowd of thousands

or your own genuine solitude?

Freedom, or power over an entire nation?

A little while alone in your room

will prove more valuable than

anything else that could ever

be given to you.

The Essential RUMI

Translation by Coleman Barks

with John Moyne

More and more I discover new parts of my hermit self.  Little by little, I withdraw into the solitude of life rather than the chaotic motions.  My home and surroundings are important to me, as this is where I spend the majority of my time.

The word  power frequently carries a physical and masculine tone to it which I have never been endeared.  I much prefer the word empowerment which is the power over oneself.  This is the freedom I enjoy.

Even when I travel, I enjoy settling in and enjoying the common activities of the given culture.  I am not interested in the large resorts or hotels or fancy restaurants that somehow lose the ambiance of the culture.  I like to wander to neighborhood eateries, bakeries, and delicatessens where the locals trade.  The elders sipping coffee are always willing to tell the community history in very meaningful ways.

Sitting in my room, I can feel compassion and appreciation for all that has been given to me.  The greatest gift of all has been love ... priceless!

Live Each Day

It's only when we truly know and understand

that we have a limited time on earth ~ 

and that we have no way of knowing

when our time is up ~

that we will begin to live each day

to the fullest,

as if it was the only one we had.

***Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

  

I unexpectedly viewed Kevin Costner (actor) delivering an eulogy to Whitney Houston (singer and actress) at her funeral.  I listened to his words about this talented and beautiful woman who led a life riddled with insecurities.  His words haunted me as they were words that I have heard so many disclose ... doubts about our own personal worth.

It is so sad to me that there is such a strong disconnect between our authentic beauty and our presence in daily living.  We can all bring to mind someone we admire who repeatedly criticizes and underestimates himself or herself.  We are amazed that someone so gifted could have so many doubts.

Life itself is filled with challenges we have come to master, but did we bring such desecration of our inner self from the start?  What washed away our communion with the Divine?  Who separated our body, mind, and spirit leaving us so fragmented?

My belief system allows me to feel a personal loss when someone dies, but it also creates a curiosity about the transition death and dying triggers.  I confidently believe that in death we simply cross over into another realm or another dimension of living.  It is my conception that while the physical body dies, our spiritual self lives on eternally.

So the sadness I felt today was not about Whitney Houston's death, but rather about her inability to embrace her self while on this earth.  What impacts me even more deeply is the fact that many of us experience the same desperation seeking release in a variety of obsessions.  The emotional isolation that goes undetected in those we love so dearly, concerns me greatly.  To be left helplessly watching someone spiral out of control is even worse.  

The best thing we can do, perhaps, is to live each day as meaningful as we can, embracing others with sincere compassion while maintaining a balance between spiritual and material existence.  Try to begin each day with gratitude for all of our blessings and keep seeking for the Divine connection within.

***Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote a wonderful book about death and dying that opened my youthful eyes and broadened my earlier adult concepts about life.  Later, she wrote a book on death and dying of children which was one of the most difficult, yet inspiring books I have yet to read.

Fitting The Pieces Together

Conditions for creativity

are to be puzzled;

to accept conflict and tension;

to be born everyday;

to feel a sense of self.

ERICH FROMM

German born American

Philosopher/Psychoanalyst

1900-1980 

  

It is liberating to be free to create with our own gifts and talents.  Yet often times we are faced with conflict and become discouraged. Each day we start anew, and our creative gifts need to be expressed in a manner most comfortable to our inner being. In many instances, it takes years to discover the way to articulate or display our gifts in harmony and purpose.

Creativity comes in all shapes and sizes. It is not limited to music or painting or writing.  Inside of our being, there is a yearning to express our own sense of creativity.  Whether it is in mathematics or science, language arts or history, creativity plays a definite role.  We use creative expression in all that we do and it gives us a deeper sense of self.

From generation to generation, arts and crafts are frequently passed down.  There are third generation weavers or sculptors or carpenters. The art form may change from generation, but the basic skill threads its way through families.

My mother was very skilled in sketching which she used to design clothes and wedding gowns.  Her creativity was never used to its fullest and I believe this stunted her spirit.  

I received the gift of creativity as well, but unlike my mother, I cannot sew much more than a button.  I learned to express my creativity through different ways, such as: knitting, crocheting, candle~wicking, quilting, basket weaving, and various forms of painting.  

Although not skilled, I love to sketch in my journals which I have kept since childhood.  I have a passion for writing and it is my main outlet for creativity.  I have a gift for full color visualization in meditation which supplements both my spiritual life and daily activities.

Creativity has been passed down to my children as well.  My oldest son is very creative in building and story telling.  My next son finds mathematics to be a language  he speaks fluently.  My youngest son is gifted in carpentry and his gardens are filled with creative design.  My daughter, the youngest of the four, shows her creativity in her eclectic approaches while working as a therapist, and as a professor teaching to college grad students while dressing with original flair reflecting her creatively unique spirit.

Like mastering anything else, creativity takes time and patience.  Whether it is baking, cooking, gardening or furniture arranging, creativity must be cultivated with devotion and imagination.  We each have an obligation to explore gifts and talents as they are an important part of our personal and spiritual development and an excellent outlet for stress.

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle.  It is not until we fit several pieces together that we are able to see color and reason taking form.  As our lives begin to take shape, pieces do not necessarily fit together more easily, but the bigger picture becomes an incentive to carry on.  

Integrity Intertwined with Inner Courage

Sometimes a glance,
a few casual words,
fragments of a melody floating 
through the quiet air of a summer evening,
a book accidentally comes into our hands,
a poem or a memory-laden fragrance,
may bring about the impulse 
which changes and determines
our whole life.


Llama Gouinda

A simple impulse can change our lives, but we need courage to step through any fear or hesitation.  It is courage that allows us to feel, to act, or to be still.  Inner courage, however, is equally important.  

In his book, FINDING INNER COURAGE, author Mark Nepo states: "The word courage means to stand by one's core."  He also shares:"By inner courage, I mean the ground of quiet braveries from which the more visible braveries sprout."  

This is the layer of courage we need to recognize within ourselves.  It is what allows us to say, "No, I will not agree to a divorce," or "Yes, I feel qualified for this position," or "I no longer desire to hold this belief for my self."  It is the same courage allowing us to remain still when we are tempted by judgment or depriving someone else of their time in the light.  Decisions made throughout our day requires this inner courage.  The more we honor this courage inside, the stronger our spirit grows and we become more courageous on the outside as well.

The word integrity, to me, has always meant who you are when no one is looking. So it would seem that integrity is intertwined with inner courage.   It takes this inner strength to over ride human weakness and temptations that others never see.  It is at the core of our being.

It is definitely a challenge to stand by core beliefs, but it is what we are called to do with an open mind and forgiving heart.  We must not expect others to view life exactly as we do, but we can expect others to honor us as we honor them.

  

Two Sides to the Coin

All expenditures,

whether from the heart or the wallet,

in the past or present, big or small,

can be viewed as either

"depleting" or "enriching."

Enriching works for me.

THE UNIVERSE

www.tut.com

all change is significant

change comes in many forms

change is experienced in the hands of many

change does not display singular faces

there are two sides to change

change does not have equal value

change can be found unexpectedly

change can be dirty or clean

change is valued as a child

change can be bothersome as an adult

what we put change into,

doesn't always produce the expected

"depleting" or "enriching"
obviously in the eye of the beholder!

Begin a New Day

We embark upon the creation of a peaceful lifestyle by recognizing the need, daily, to cleanse our minds just as we cleanse our bodies. Through morning prayers and meditation, we embark upon the day spiritually prepared.  Without this preparation, we enter the day with yesterday's anxieties  ~  our own and those of millions of others.  

---Marianne Williamson

Each day is a gift, an opportunity to begin anew, and a creation of personal experience.  Our attitude sets the tone for our inner rhythms and for the cadence of those around us.  

We organize household duties, designate responsibilities to others, and keep a running master list of all we have to do.  Even with the very best organizational skills, we frequently omit a beginning ritual.  

Every morning as we open our eyes, we can figuratively open our hearts to another day of compassion and encouragement  for ourselves and others.  We can repeat affirmations or words of thanksgiving for all that we have.  With a grateful heart, we then can begin a new day.

Balance must be consciously planned or time for nurturing and nourishing slips away.  The material world for whatever reason takes precedence over our spiritual awareness and our stress, anxiety, and worries multiply.  

Celebrate the gift of life every morning allowing a sense of excitement for the unfolding of the day.  Embrace the day with wholeness (the blending of spiritual with material) and expect wonderful things! 

Shame, Guilt, and Loneliness ...

Of all needs (there are none imaginary) a lonely child has the one that must be satisfied, if there is going to be hope and a hope of wholeness, is the unshaken need for an unshakable God.

~ Maya Angelou

This morning you lovingly caressed my face and gently stroked my hair.  These simple gestures stirred an ancient longing in me to feel loved and to feel emotionally safe.  These senses rekindled the memories of the unmet needs of my childhood. 

I remembered feeling shameful for having wants or desires as I was taught that children did not have valid needs.  It was selfish to want something for myself. All of these thoughts were interlaced with religious overtones creating guilt as well.  

Right from the beginning I felt disapproval from the grandpa man in long billowing robes with the long gray hair sitting in the clouds of the church's stained glass window.  "God" expected perfection I was told and in my heart I truly knew that I had lost before I had even started.  

My parents, as told in Sunday School, were representatives of God.  They were my caretakers on earth working for God.  When I did not feel love or acceptance by them, what chance would I have with a Supreme Being ...

Children of emotional or physical neglect withdraw into a private world still hoping that some one will recognize their loneliness.  Hoping some one will wrap them into warm and loving arms.  There is always an abundance of 'saving' going on in a church, but children rarely have a sense of that and even if they do, they feel fraudulent inside. 

Touch is such a simple and normal gesture, and yet it is frequently with held.  The term "failure to thrive" was given to new born infants who had not been nurtured physically nor emotionally thus lacking the desire to live.

So when the child of a family is neglected, the child hopes love and affection will be received from a being outside of the self that is all powerful and can do amazing things.  Then this magical being that reportedly can do anything, does not meet the worldly needs any better than the family ever did.  Hope is lost.  Loneliness is the companion of the withdrawn child.  

The unfortunate assumption of the child is that he or she is unlovable and unacceptable by not only his or her parents, but by an all loving God.  Shame and guilt join loneliness weighing

the spirit down into despair. 

Simple touch can speak a thousand words.  It is a gesture that is free and desired by all ages.  Observe children in play.  They are always reaching for each other.  Notice elders walking arm in arm or watch their faces while embracing a child or holding a baby.  Their entire world lights up!

So this morning when your gentle fingers skimmed the side of my face, asking for nothing in return, I felt my heart sigh.  Finally, I felt emotionally safe and not alone.

Valentine's Day

The value of the personal relationship

to all things

is that it creates intimacy

and intimacy creates understanding

and understanding creates love.

Anais Nin

I am thankful for all of my friendships that embrace my life just as it is.  I am grateful for all of the wise women and sisters of my heart who empower me through their own diversity and unconditional love.  

I am blessed to have love in my life in spite of challenge and change.  The power of forgiveness, wisdom, and insight creates a safe haven where I can begin anew.  I am ever so hopeful that the change in an other can be a catalyst for change together. 

My heart is continuously touched by the hands of friends, children, grandchildren and 'family' I meet along the way.  Without my boys and the never wavering love of my daughter, I would not be here today.

May your hearts be filled with love today ...
and every day!