The Dark Knight of the Soul

Save me , O God, 

for the waters have come up

to my neck.

I am stuck in the mire of the deep,

and there is no where to set my foot.

I have come into deep waters,

and the waves overwhelm me.

I have grown weary from crying,

my throat has become hoarse;

my eyes have failed while

I await my God.

~Ann Rice

Harvesting journals can be an emotional, but insightful task.  By harvesting, I mean sifting through writings and highlighting dreams, challenges, insights, and words having significant meaning ... even when you don't remember recording them.  Reading personal inscriptions can be inspiring and reflective of challenges finally overcome.  It is like an emotional tracking system.  

Depression is a normal part of a cycle humans rotate through.  I do not mean clinical depression, but depression in general.  It can be referred to as PMS or menopause, or mood swings, but all people cycle through normal levels of depression.  There are varying degrees, such as: monthly, seasonal, or a one time life experience, etc ...

Several years ago, I spent months enduring an extreme sense of loss.  Loss of my self and of all things I believed.  While reading Carolyn Myss, I came across the phrase, "dark night of the soul".  It was originated as a title of a poem, DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL written by St. John of the Cross, a 16th Century poet and Roman Catholic Mystic.  In addition to his own thoughts, the poet reflected ideas of St. Thomas Aquinas and in part, Aristotle.

The poem written by St. John of the Cross, a Spanish Carmelite 

priest, narrates a journey usually traveled during the night, in search of the light of the Creator.  The poem was written while the priest had been imprisoned. A painful experience of abandonment enables a person to grow in spirituality and union with the Divine. 

My experience in the "dark night of the soul" was most unpleasant.  I felt entirely detached from all things holy, and harshly abandoned spiritually.  My mind was riddled with confusion and doubt.  Hindsight shows this was a gift of purification.  I aimlessly wandered through concepts and beliefs, discarding much of what I once held dear.  Issues from my past surfaced, raged with emotion, and eventually were processed. What remained shined brightly and there was plenty of room to welcome the new.  I felt a more personalized, and yet broadened perspective of the connection between us all.  I had lost rigid concepts and gained a spiritual union.  It was during this time my energy work became more pronounced and a sincere spiritual awareness of others became prevalent.

Spirituality can be very challenging, but always rewarding.  It is a path walked in solitude strengthening personal gifts, insights, and awareness.  Ultimately, oneness with nature and all people grows obvious, as well as the sense of oneness with Divine Spirit ... never abandoned and always empowered.