The Dark Knight of the Soul

Save me , O God, 

for the waters have come up

to my neck.

I am stuck in the mire of the deep,

and there is no where to set my foot.

I have come into deep waters,

and the waves overwhelm me.

I have grown weary from crying,

my throat has become hoarse;

my eyes have failed while

I await my God.

~Ann Rice

Harvesting journals can be an emotional, but insightful task.  By harvesting, I mean sifting through writings and highlighting dreams, challenges, insights, and words having significant meaning ... even when you don't remember recording them.  Reading personal inscriptions can be inspiring and reflective of challenges finally overcome.  It is like an emotional tracking system.  

Depression is a normal part of a cycle humans rotate through.  I do not mean clinical depression, but depression in general.  It can be referred to as PMS or menopause, or mood swings, but all people cycle through normal levels of depression.  There are varying degrees, such as: monthly, seasonal, or a one time life experience, etc ...

Several years ago, I spent months enduring an extreme sense of loss.  Loss of my self and of all things I believed.  While reading Carolyn Myss, I came across the phrase, "dark night of the soul".  It was originated as a title of a poem, DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL written by St. John of the Cross, a 16th Century poet and Roman Catholic Mystic.  In addition to his own thoughts, the poet reflected ideas of St. Thomas Aquinas and in part, Aristotle.

The poem written by St. John of the Cross, a Spanish Carmelite 

priest, narrates a journey usually traveled during the night, in search of the light of the Creator.  The poem was written while the priest had been imprisoned. A painful experience of abandonment enables a person to grow in spirituality and union with the Divine. 

My experience in the "dark night of the soul" was most unpleasant.  I felt entirely detached from all things holy, and harshly abandoned spiritually.  My mind was riddled with confusion and doubt.  Hindsight shows this was a gift of purification.  I aimlessly wandered through concepts and beliefs, discarding much of what I once held dear.  Issues from my past surfaced, raged with emotion, and eventually were processed. What remained shined brightly and there was plenty of room to welcome the new.  I felt a more personalized, and yet broadened perspective of the connection between us all.  I had lost rigid concepts and gained a spiritual union.  It was during this time my energy work became more pronounced and a sincere spiritual awareness of others became prevalent.

Spirituality can be very challenging, but always rewarding.  It is a path walked in solitude strengthening personal gifts, insights, and awareness.  Ultimately, oneness with nature and all people grows obvious, as well as the sense of oneness with Divine Spirit ... never abandoned and always empowered.

Uplift The Heavy Soul

Creative ideas, in my opinion, show their value in that,
like keys, they help to "unlock" hitherto unintelligible connections of facts and thus enable man to penetrate deeper into the mystery of life.

M. L. von Franz

CONCLUSION:  MAN AND HIS SYMBOLS, by C. G. Jung

To watch a musician perform or to observe an artist in the depths of artistic expression, it is obvious he or she is caught in another world.  An athlete would call it 'being in the zone' or a spiritual writer might refer to it as 'being in the flow'.  Either way, a person who 'gets lost in work or play' seem to be distracted from the mundane and opened to the mystery of life.

We are not all highly evolved artists nor do we all have degrees in psychology, but we all have been using the art of creative distraction throughout our lives. 

As a young mother of four, if I wanted to know what was going on in my children's lives, I would have a snack prepared.  As soon as they entered the house, they would gather around the table.  As they gobbled up their treats, I would gently ask them questions and successfully receive answers normally not disclosed under interrogation.  If I were concerned about one child in particular, I would invite him or her to color with me or help to prepare dinner.

When we know a friend is troubled, we invite them to lunch or an outing in nature or perhaps the shopping mall.  Being physically distracted, our emotions release more easily.  

If we engage in a creative project, it distracts us from our worries and self-expression flows with a higher energy.  We escape the present concerns, and focus on the moment suspended from our pressing issues.

This holds true in therapy with children.  Play therapy is a wonderful tool for enabling the therapist to become a part of the child's world where more natural conversation can unfold without the child feeling pressured.   

Many years ago, I kept a cat at my counseling office for this very purpose ... distraction.  The cat would invariably sit on the client's lap and he or she would gently begin to stroke the purring feline.  This physical movement distracted the brain or ego, allowing the person to express more fully.  The gentle vibration of the purring seemed to relax and calm even those who had very little appreciation for animals.

So once again we come across another resource to support and nurture ourselves without financial investment or month ahead scheduling.  When we find

ourselves overwhelmed, saddened, or disconnected, we can easily use a means of self-expression giving the mysteries of life the opportunity to uplift the heavy soul.

beyond depression ...

It is my intention to reflect insights and share the challenges in life through writing.  What I write is fairly eclectic and I try to express parts of life that resonate with others.  Below is a poem that was written as an example of journaling.  It was discovered while I was presenting a seminar on JOURNALING, The Path To Self Discovery.  The source of the poem is unknown to me.

Depression is a normal part of our cycle.  We are very confident and secure, then slip into feeling some what secure, down to feeling negative and lack luster, and finally into a depressive state.  This is a cycle that we can visit within an hour, a day, a month or a year.  We generally become aware of this emotional rotation early on when we begin our menstruation cycle.  This same cycle, if we pay attention, can rotate emotionally throughout our lives.  Clearly, this experience with depression is not the same as clinical depression.  Nevertheless, all of us at some time or another feels the darkness of the descent into depression. 

Journaling is an excellent way to release pent up fears and anxiety, a way to express the loss of personal power and the feelings of invisibility.  Once written, a poem can be thrown away, burned, or kept as a reminder that you can and will survive.

depression

hovers and hangs

over me like a living thing.

it swallows me

it starts at my

edges and takes

small bites -

then keeps eating

away in my

head - til i

am no more.

i am consumed

by this thing.

i want to fight back

but

i let it take me -

it's so easy to be

eaten alive -

bit by bit

by words

by anger

by resentment

till there is

nothing

author unknown

WRITING FROM LIFE by author Susan Wittig Albert suggests how to Tell Your Soul's Story.  Within this  wonderful book there is a writing by a woman who came to the end of one part of her journey, but eventually found the beginning of another.

"Today, a year later, I feel that I am on another journey, one that has shown me glimpses of adventures ahead.  I am finding new friends to travel with and am learning to trust myself to do what needs doing.  I venture daily into unknown territory both physically and spiritually.  No one walks so closely with death without being forever changed, but I find I am moving forward more easily every day.  Like Robert Frost, I have miles to go before I sleep.  ---Marjorie C.

A journal can be your best companion while walking through your darkest hour and later for sharing your climb into a promising light.  The importance is found in the release of deep feelings rather than retaining them within where physcial illness can grow.