A Place to Begin

"But to be brave without compassion,

or generous without self-restraint,

or to take the lead,

is fatal.

Compassion wins the battle

and holds the fort;

it is the bulwark set

around those heaven helps.

Lao Tzu

Every one of us desires to feel good about ourselves.  We may accept that we will indeed not hit stardom or become a rocket scientist, but we want encouragement to carry on.  As human beings, we want to make a difference either large or small.  

The key is to help empower someone by using our words.  If we take the time to recognize their particular strength or their history of performance, we can remind them of battles they have already won.  When they hold their strengths in their own hands, they can readily sift through debris to allow positive action to surface. 

When we experience true compassion for someone else, we can reflect the goodness we see.  We can remind them of what they have forgotten with the results of attempting to begin again. We do not know what is best for a person and even if we did, the person needs to learn it for his or her self in order to build a solid foundation.

If we are in a position, we may be tempted to use money to bail someone out of undesirable conditions, but that often turns into enabling.  In our eagerness to assist, we may take a person 'under our wing' but that can lead to further complications.  

To just listen and offer feedback from what we have just heard from one who is struggling, we can be giving valuable gifts ... the gift of self.  We do not need to form out of the box ideas.  We do not have to create an escape for anyone.  With compassionate responses, a person is more likely to find his or her way without us misdirecting them.  Words filled with loving kindness will help to heal, restore, and rekindle self-esteem.  It is a place to begin, and it will feel good about ourselves as well.  We have helped without breaking boundaries, unnecessary investments, and with good intentions misdirecting.  We have validated a person, so that he or she can find the best passage back into life.