down the rabbit hole...

 Not all those who wander are lost.

J.R.R. Tolkien

The Fellowship of the Ring

           

We should not  be surprised when Divine Spirit alters our immaculately prepared human agenda.  We have already felt the winds shift and the ground slant, but heedlessly we shuffle our feet in one direction and then the next, grasping for a deeper understanding of all that is.

For five days now, I have been thrashing in bed.  The diagnosis of a sinus infection is better than pneumonia, but either way, it has robbed me of my holidays.   I cannot eat as everything tastes decidedly disgusting. I cannot sleep as this racking cough rattles me to my core.  The fever spikes igniting colorful flames raging in my head leaving me disheveled and sweaty in my bed.  Then my skin turns to ice as my weary bones vibrate to the cadence of a violent rap.

Day blends into night and night into day.  I wait for the darkness to fade and cling to each  present moment.  I confuse my schedule for my meds and stumble from bath to bed.  I am in such a weakened state, my feet slip and I feel myself sliding down the rabbit hole.

I become a traveler to random times and places.   I gently slide into a variety of existences as though I have been present for years.  I understand the diversity between these cultures, and most importantly experience the deep kindness in the hearts of all people.  In and out I go as easily as changing channels on the television.   Although I experience both male and female genders and different ages, it is the heart of me remaining the same. 

When I grow stronger, I will joyfully write more of these experiences.  I realize  all of this has happened for great reason.  I have discovered  how to link my perceptions, insights, experiences and wisdom, closing the gaps in my faith, and completing what I have longed to understand.  I may have lost half of the holidays, but I have gained validation of eternity.